Digesting Alabama

My first point is most important, to those that wanna blame Mike Bobo...was this your first experience watching a football game?

We had the correct game plan. We didn't have the proper execution. And while you can, in some manner, blame the coaches for the latter, you cannot blame them for the former.

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We needed to be aggressive offensively. We needed to stretch the Crimson Tide defense. And we did just that with two deep balls on the opening drive. After a drop by Smith, and a catch by Lovett that was negated by an offensive pass interference call. After that, the offense spent roughly 23 minutes of game clock as a shell of itself.

Defensively, I'm perplexed as to how to defend Jalen Milroe. Back in December we frequently spied him, sometimes with two linebackers. That didn't work. Heading into Saturday night's contest, I thought we'd have more success since (I thought) he didn't have as many weapons. We played a lot of zone coverage to keep our eyes on the ball, and he still torched us.

Kudos to DeBoer and his staff. Kudos to the Alabama players. The Tide knocked us to our knees before we got to the second commercial break.

But hats off to our team for not giving up. That second half was an epic turnaround. Beck shook the cobwebs loose. Lawson Luckie had his best game. And Bobo had Alabama on their heels. 

And we had the lead for about 13 seconds. Then it was over.

Hopefully a Homecoming matchup against Auburn can provide a reset. Although it seems a reset at least started in the halftime locker room Saturday night.

the Friday Misery is like Tyler Simmons...onside!

On September 18th, 1965 the Georgia Bulldog offense pulled off an infamous hook and lateral against the Crimson colored Tide for a touchdown inside the beautiful confines of Sanford Stadium. Tide fans argued that Georgia tight end Pat Hodgson's knees were down prior to said lateral, which is perhaps why Hodgson was so open on the next play for a 2-point conversion.

Dawgs won 18-17.

history teaches us nothing

Why bring up that game in 1965, which was even a few years before I was born? Because that's the only Georgia-Alabama game I think of prior to 2002, when Billy Bennett helped us to a win in Tuscaloosa to prove we were "man enough". For two teams that have met 73 times, there hasn't been much history to speak to. After that 2007 "one and done" overtime victory in Tuscaloosa, Alabama has dominated the series. Until Indy saw Bryce Young complete that beautiful touchdown pass to Kelee Ringo, they had won seven straight.

One night in Indy

The teams have played in seven different cities. And Indianapolis is the only one where we have a winning record against the Tide. Tomorrow night marks just the 11th time we've played them in Tuscaloosa (and we're looking for just our 3rd win btw). 

After that 2007 Dawgs' win, Saban went on to dominate Richt and Smart teams to the tune of 8-1. We never beat him in the SECCG in four tries, 2012 being our best chance. If it weren't for the National Championship win over Alabama, we would have a serious complex. They lead the series 43-26-4, but it's the recent history that draws the most frustration. The Richt teams getting dominated in 2008 and 2015. Then Kirby raised the bar, but the Tide still found ways to squirm into a win. (For reference, look back at the two 2018 matchups. Ugh.)

But that was then, and this is the Friday before the young season's biggest game. Coach DeBoer leads the Tide now, while Saban spends weekdays on the golf course. DeBoer's resume is a quick read, but shows he succeeds wherever he goes. Our beloved Coach Smart meanwhile is the second longest tenured coach in the conference.

This week I have seen some people suggest the series between these two teams is a rivalry. I disagree, at least not in the way of the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party or the Third Saturday in October. No, I see this as a series that, until recently, was rather ho-hum. Minus the occasional hook and lateral, it was likely to put Dawg fans to sleep.

We're awake now though, right?

prelude to a new era

I think it happened in the Benz Dome that fateful night January 8th, 2018. Kirby's Dawgs fought hard, but Bama prevailed.

It was devastating. The Georgia Bulldogs' first National Championship since Herschel's separated shoulder was in our grasp. And then the Mighty Sabanites pulled it away. Fists were clenched. Tears welled. Dreams dashed. We found breathing to be an arduous task.

Our coach, was our player

But that game showed us that we had a coach that could form a team of contenders. And we knew he could not only stand toe-to-toe with his godfather, but was much younger. Indianapolis came and went. Back 2 Back happened before our eyes.

And now Saban has retired, thus the commencement of the Crimson Tide Kalen DeBoer Era.

both here and now

While Kirby didn't cut his coaching teeth in Tuscaloosa, it was his home turf from 2007-2015. While he was trekking through Athens-Valdosta-Tallahassee-Baton Rouge-Athens again-Miami on his way to Tuscaloosa, Kalen DeBoer was building championship NAIA teams in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. He's known as an offensive mastermind, even before coordinating an Indiana offense that averaged well over 400 yards per game!

But he's never faced Them Dawgs. Much of his team helped defeat us in last year's SECCG, sure. But what pours from the heart of our head man, forms itself into his team's constitution.

So gimme Kirby effin' Smart. He's not afraid of Tuscaloosa, a title town he helped build the infrastructure for. He's not afeared of their copy-cat lights and some Dixieland Delights. And he for damn sure ain't gonna shy away from a dude named Kalen.

Hold your head up high fellow Dawg fans...our coach is a Dawg and not a pachyderm! Now let's bow our heads...dear Lord our God, we pray for those that have been in Helene's nasty path. And this is a big one tomorrow night, so provide a path to sack that Milroe a few times. And Carson Beck can take it from there! Amen, and Go Dawgs!

Midweek thoughts on Georgia & Alabama

The closer the kick to Saturday night's game gets, the better I feel. It's going to be a slugfest. Don't get me wrong. But I think we bow up and take their punches before dealing our own.

For that reason, I like Brooks' keys to the victory for Georgia Saturday night. Milroe and his offense is explosive and they will undoubtedly make some big plays, but I think we can both minimize them in both frequency and explosiveness.

And the best way to do that is to maintaining rush lane integrity. Don't let Milroe out of the pocket easily. Brooks calls it a "dirty pocket". Meaning, contained havoc. Brock Vandergriff broke containment a few times up in Lexington. I've said before, Milroe can turn those yards into touchdowns.

It's always important to protect the football, especially on the road. At night. On national TV. But I hope we see Beck take some shots. If he and Bobo can stretch this defense, we can pound them. They're riding high after their drubbing of Wisconsin. Not only is our team much better, but we're deeper and more experienced for big time national games.

Maybe it's off base to type this, but I look at our opening win against Clemson as a much bigger deal. I think we're a team with a chip on our shoulders. Let's tee it up and see if Bama can knock it off.

Monday's lonely question

Working on a wrap up post to put a stamp on Saturday's mudfest so that I can properly move forward mentally into HillBilly week. In the meantime...

Would I feel better if we'd lost to Alabama Saturday night somewhere closer to what the 2012 SECCG looked like as opposed to the 2008 version of it?

No, you're right. It doesn't matter at all. And that's exactly what I keep telling myself. But I can't help but wonder if the angst would have less bite and the feelings would be less raw if the game had lasted into the final minutes of the 4th quarter...? Somehow...??

Whatever. It's cool. I'm moving forward little by little. Hope you are too.

Sunday Thoughts on mild tropical depressions

This may be the easiest and the hardest post I've ever written. Because we didn't bring the thunder. We didn't bring the storm.

I thought things were different this time. But they were not even close. Not even remotely close.

I think my wife put it best in a Facebook post, the gist of which is how can we possibly continue to go all in when the coaches don't even bother to try? The seconds were draining from the half, we trailed by a score of 21-3, and yet we just watched the clock run out. While that may seem like picking nits, the truth is it speaks volumes.

The message was clear. "We don't have answers. We're giving up. We can't fight this fight anymore. We are looking forward to a break in this action."

What does that tell the fans in the rain soaked stands? What does that tell the players?

That's but one very small example, but what frustrates me most is this is a better team than we had three years ago. If Alabama is the measuring stick, then the 2015 Georgia Bulldogs were best equipped to taking the tackle football program to the next level.

Up until we kicked off yesterday.

Two keys beating Bama

I'm getting this out of the way early so I can concentrate on making sure everything is packed and ready to go for the morning trek. And also to get at least a little rest while my bones are dry.

There are so many important keys to games like these. You have two evenly matched teams that are very similar in mindset and what they want to do to win the game. You have coaches that are very familiar with each other's programs. A lot of elite talent on both sides of the ball.

And of course much has been made about the psyche of each team - Bama with their backs to the wall, and Georgia out to prove this is a new era and upswing.

But...in the end, with the game on the line, it still comes down to those big bodies in the trenches. So...

1. Who wins the battles at the line of scrimmage? If Georgia is to exert their will running the football, the offensive line must be up to their greatest challenge yet. And Pruitt's front seven have to pin their ears back and cause chaos in Bama's running game to force Coker into attempting to win this game.
2. Protect the football. It's gonna be a slopknocker of a game. Messy? Woo, Lords yes. The pigskin will be at a premium and the team that shows the greatest aptitude for holding onto the football will have a decided advantage. Everything from not having balls slip through receivers' hands, fielding punts cleanly, good exchanges in the backfield...(realizes he's preaching to the choir, takes a deep breath...)

To be perfectly clear, both Alabama and Georgia will need to bring their A game. But I think we'll see the Dawgs come out looser in their stance and more ready to "get a little action in" than their adversaries tomorrow afternoon. So the first five minutes of the game could be nearly as critical (maybe even more so...) as the last five.

Friday Misery - it's time to RING THE BELL AND RUN TELL DAT!

Dear Lord Jesus, please. 
Just, please.
Please join us in the Jazz Hands!
Amen.

The danger of revisiting historical references is our innate ability as humans Georgia Bulldogs to repeat past failures. What I mean by that is this: the 2015 Georgia Bulldogs never were part of the 2008 Blackout. Some of them were barely in middle school at the time. And most of this year's roster weren’t in the Dome when the confetti rained crimson instead of red. (Those that were there however know that this game can be won or lost on just a handful of plays.)

Together, you and I, let’s take a step forward and turn our backs on the past. Billy Bennett was “Man Enough”, but that was over a decade ago. “One and Done” was spectacular, but now Stafford gets paid millions to make those throws. The Bicentennial Beatdown was before the forward pass was even legal.

I think.

I want to make a statement about THIS football team, not their predecessors. I know the heartbreak that can come from losing a game of this magnitude. You do too. There’s no need to remind ourselves. Let’s focus on 2015. Let’s make tomorrow special. For although we cannot control the past, we can grasp the future.

On this episode of wOrD PLaY!!...

If you rearrange the letters in “Alabama Crimson Tide Football” you get “Yes, Jonathan Taylor was once here”.

If you go to Thesaurus.com (aka Blogger’s Paradise City), and enter “Nick Saban”, the third entry down on the second column is Dwarfmongerer. So then you click on Dictionary.com (aka “Help I don’t know WTF this means”) and enter “Dwarfmongerer” and find out it’s a noun that means a greedy, narcissistic dictator that also uses a step stool to address his minions.

Ask bonafide Crimson Tidal graduates what the word “Chubb” means and the male will look down at his private organ and chuckle, while the female one will sigh deeply. Then pick her nose.

It is untrue that Alabama ranks at the bottom of the nation in college entrance exam scores. Now that you can no longer take the SAT barefooted they’ve pulled ahead of Tennessee on the math section by exactly 10 points.

From the Alabama wikis -

Scholars believe the word comes from the Choctaw alba (meaning "plants" or "weeds") and amo (meaning "to cut", "to trim", or "to gather"). The meaning may have been "clearers of the thicket or "herb gatherers", referring to clearing land for cultivation or collecting medicinal plants.

If only it meant “clearers of the nose and back hair” instead, am I right ladies?

From the police blotter - 

Krystalling - /verb/ to rub one’s privates on any drunken, unsuspecting poor bastard.

And in the words of noted Alabammian Culturalist Antoine Dodson - “Run tell dat!”

Your voice is not enough

Every ounce of energy must be left at your seat tomorrow night. If you walk out of the Sanford gates with anything in the tank you have failed the team you came to cheer for. Win or lose, it must all be spent. Do you want to wake up Sunday morning and realize you had more to give and instead of offering it to the team, the atmosphere, the cool night air that will hang over us like a gridiron shroud, you decided to hold onto it?

For what? Why hold onto something that has the sole purpose of being used in support of the Red and Black? Why keep within you what has been born with the sole purpose of coming out?

We are Georgia. We stretch the leash to the very end. We use every muscle and every ounce of intestinal fortitude to latch onto what we feel is rightfully ours, whether it’s Robert Baker’s ass or a clearer path to championship destiny. We pound the G, because to lightly tap it is to tell Billy Bennett he doesn’t have enough leg, or to tell Mikey Henderson he’s too small, or to accept UGA admin’s advice and just stay the hell home.

In the words of Mrs. Bernie, “Aw hell no!”

We POUND the G! because our heart must be in it to win it. We STAND UP because to sit is to endorse complacence. We FINISH THE DRILL because there are those that are expecting nothing less. We GET AFTER THAT ASS because, simply put, crimson and white looks better with grass stains.

We POUND the G!! because our voice is not nearly enough. We enter together and we leave together, for better or worse, with one game to lose and everything to gain.

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They are alabama. They live in opulence, practice indoors, and are above any and all criticism mere mortals clumsily propel their way. They have no need to pander for they are the ones who are pandered to. They eat extra salty pork rinds drizzled in chocolate syrup, past due date cream cheese, and peanut butter covered fatback just to prove they can still shit out five stars. They twitch and ESPN squirms. They invent new historic trophies just to indulge their sense of entitlement. If/When they lose, it’s because the game balanced itself as an outlier; a whimsical happenstance for the ages rather than an honest toe to toe tussle of might and strength.

We are GEORGIA. We’ve been rained on all week. We fight for every morsel of attention cast our way and earn every ounce of respect given. We watch our weight and, regardless of false rating systems, appreciate every young man who signs on to wear the G. We reminisce without reinvention. We take what’s been earned and give back when necessary. While we admit to taking indoor plumbing for granted, we’re not one to brag about blessings. When we win, it’s because of the work, the effort, the blood, the sweat, and the tears that got us there.

Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting. SO LET'S GET THIS THING ON AND RING THE GODDAMN BELL!

STICK TO THE PLAN!!

DO NOT DEVIATE, regardless of what Joaquin says.

The talking is all about the weather. I saw ticket prices dropping this morning.

Are the two related? I think so.

Should they be related? I don't think so. (btw, go read this by CorbinDawg. You're welcome.)

Remember. This is important...

How I feel about Georgia. pic.twitter.com/dktrDAGI3a

— Bryant-Denny Stadium (@BryantDenny_UA) September 27, 2015

...and you don't want to get to January when football goes back behind the curtain and doesn't want to play with you for months on end and sure you can go to Athens and can even take bourbon with you but the atmosphere is different and the band doesn't play.

IT'S RAIN. STORES SELL COATS MADE JUST FOR THE PURPOSE OF TAILGATING IN IT!

Besides, if you sell your tickets just to prove that Random Bama Fan cares more about winning than you do and then sit your made of sugar ass at home, then the sun shines on one of the greatest sporting events in Sanford Stadium's history, the only question left to answer will be..

Why?

Bama week - a battle of the minds and the muscle

Most of the commentary I've seen and heard this week gives Georgia the edge in having multiple game changers. Personally, it's probably closer to even except for one guy - Sony Michel. I agree that the Dawgs may have better talent at receiver, but it's largely untested in the scope of a game of this magnitude.

Still, the Tide lost one of their best receivers in Robert Foster a couple weeks ago. To fill some of that void, Saban hinted that they may use Cyrus Jones in a receiving role Saturday against the Dawgs. Jones is a senior defensive back and one of Alabama's more explosive players. He's their leading punt returner and is a guy that can find space quickly.

Saban said using cornerback Cyrus Jones some at wide receiver is "something that we've discussed and certainly, probably have to consider in the future." Starting wide receiver Robert Foster suffered a season-ending injury against Ole Miss Sept. 19. Tide wide receivers had six dropped passes last week.

Still, OJ Howard remains the big target that Pruitt's defense must focus on stopping. Or at least minimizing his impact.

Howard leads the team in receiving yards despite not catching a touchdown this season. At 6-foot-6 242 pounds with wide receiver skills, the Alabama native creates matchup problems for every team The Crimson Tide faces. He’s quick and athletic enough to gain clean releases at the line of scrimmage. He’s too big and physical for defensive backs to cover him but too athletic for linebackers. It’ll take a strong game plan and proper execution to throw him off his game.

And Ty Flournoy-Smith has a couple catches on the season too. Remember him?

I said early in the week that this is one of those games that will be won in the trenches, and I still believe that. Both teams have been in games like this before, even against each other. In the fourth quarter, when the game is in the balance and there is a critical third down, someone is either going to win or lose right there at the line of scrimmage.

That being said, the offense that does the better job stretching the defense from sideline to sideline as well as down the field will have a tremendous edge in winning the line of scrimmage. Kiffin will want to get Drake, Henry, Stewart, and Ridley into space with the ball, just as Schottenheimer will try to with Chubb, Michel, Mitchell, Blazevich, and McKenzie.

I think both teams will want to do that without getting cute. Imposing one's will on the other will be the order of the day for at least the first half. Who pulls out the reverse pass or other trickerations out of the playbook first?

This game is why Richt went out in January and got Brian Schottenheimer. This game is why we got an offensive line coach with a hard edge in Rob Sale. This game is what makes Tracy Rocker so pissed off at the entire world.

In short, tighten those chin straps boys. Rammer Jammer Yeller Hammer. Hunker it down one more time!

Bama week - Bama boots > Bama bangs

Let's take a break from the heavy lifting this morning, shall we?

Remember this lady from that game when Big Game Bob pulled Saban's pants down? 

Her name is Lindee Lou Sue Hickey and she's from the outskirts of Tuscaloosa where she lives with her common law husband Steve and their three parakeets - Bear, Bear 2, and Joe Willie. Her ex-husband has custody of their two girls, so she has to work part time at Dreamland.

No, not Dreamland the restaurant chain. Dreamland Boutique and Tanning Salon.

Steve loves him some Lindee Lou Sue. And Lindee Lou Sue loves her some Red Bull and Tito's. On just a regular Friday night back in Cottondale it's a match made in Heaven. But after a three day trip to New Orleans (one in which she's already spent a minute in the paddy wagon for earning some beads too enthusiastically) and a day long tailgate, even Steve will admit that it can get ugly.

Especially if her muscle memory isn't impaired enough to perform the Top Rope Flyin' Rabid Squirrel of Death Lunge.

Lindee Lou Sue's blood-alcohol level is a modest .26, but her faculties are keen to Oklahoma Mob's cultural insults. Steve remembers all the crushed cans in the parking lot outside and recognizes that gleam in her eye. It's the one she had just before she knocked her half sister's two front teeth out for suggesting Lindee Lou Sue pay her rent before going down to "Eddie's Cheep Liqur Mart [sic]".

Still, Lindee Lou Sue seems willing to go back to her seat and send Steve for another gin and tonic and soft pretzel to help her get through the rest of this menagerie's bullshit with a football game on the side. But Sooner Brat has to get in one more insult.

And Lindee Lou Sue wore her boots.

Sorry, those aren't boots. Lindee Lou Sue wore her "Shit Kickers". Talk about her family all you want. Tell her husband that she wears the pants in the relationship while giving them the double-fingered salute? Fine. You can even suggest that AJ McCarron isn't the best at his trade after that second interception.

But yell something about the size of her coach's genitalia...oh, it's on bitch boy!

Humpday Hilarity - Crimson Tide laundry day

Bama week - their OL vs our front seven

Probably goes without saying that this will be the biggest line our front seven has gone up against to date. Alabama's starters average 6-5 and 312 pounds.

Still, they may not be world beaters. Against our one common opponent in ULM, the Crimson Tide offensive line lead the way towards a modest 137 yards rushing on 35 carries. By comparison, we rushed against the Warhawks 38 times for 243 yards.

I would expect our defensive front to really stretch their protection on passing downs by using our speed off the edge, bringing Ganus/Kimbrough inside, and stunting Floyd and Carter up the middle. Guys like Sterling Bailey, John Atkins, and Chris Mayes will be called upon to do what they do best - eat space - so that our linebackers can roam free and make plays.

A lot has been made over the Alabama passing game. (I personally think too much is being made of it, but what business is it of mine if Tide fans want to criticize an offense that's averaging 35 points a game.) And I do think this week we could see Saban exert more control over Kiffin's play calling, or at least his game planning. They'll want to run the ball, play field position, and chew as much clock as the score will allow.

So that is why I found this nugget from the Bama-ULM writeup interesting:

There was an overload formation on Henry's fourth-and-1 touchdown run. They moved right tackle Dominick Jackson to the left side next to left tackle Cam Robinson. Henry ran right behind them for the score.

If you want to neutralize a defense's speed you run right at it with power. Like we said yesterday, this game will be won in the trenches. So look for the coaches on both sides to try and gain an advantage there whenever they can.

Bama week - the offensive line

Let's start the week's analysis where the game will be won - in the trenches. Georgia's offensive line is a large reason why the Dawgs are undefeated coming into the game Saturday night. There's little question that since halftime in Nashville Schottenheimer's offense has been clicking on all cylinders and the line has kept Lambert's jersey pretty clean. Of course, the holes for Chubb and Michel have been there too.

A big reason the offense is averaging 45 points a game is because it has stayed inside of the chains. However, I would expect the Tide to really challenge Schotty's passing attack by both daring Georgia into passing (and thus keeping the ball out of Chubb and Michel's hands) and pressing the receivers on the outside more than we've seen thus far.

Vanderbilt is probably going to end up being one of the better defenses we see this season. But even they let our receivers ease into their routes without much disturbance. Bama will press and disrupt the timing of Lambert and his receivers. They'll do this as an attempt to get Lambert to check into a run, or pat the ball too many times when he drops back.

So, the offensive line will have its hands full. Saban will want to challenge Sale's unit at the point of attack. For instance, Schottenheimer has made a living thus far by pulling guards in the running game and taking advantage of matchups in mostly short and intermediate routes in the passing game. The common denominator in both has been an offensive line that could give the running backs holes to get through and the quarterback enough time to release the ball.

What should we expect? Well, for one we haven't seen a talented front seven like this. Alabama's linebackers are going to be better prepared to keep Chubb and Michel east-west and on passing downs they'll stunt and stretch the offensive line's protection to try and bait Lambert into a bad throw.

Bama is loaded with All-SEC talent - Reggie Ragland and Reuben Foster at linebacker and DJ Pettway, Dalvin Tomlinson, A'Shawn Robinson and Jarran Reed on the defensive line. But keep your eye on #93 Jonathan Allen. He's a junior from Leesburg VA that the Tide has mostly used in nickel packages on passing downs. But he bulked up this past off season with 20 pounds of muscle in hopes of earning more playing time on 1st and 2nd downs. And so far he's been a force - seven tackles, three sacks and two QB hurries.

Allen was banged up some against ULM on Saturday, but Saban said he's expected to play. And if he does he has the size and speed to be a game changer on Saturday night.

Humpday Hilarity - Grizzard's rivalry jokes

If you don't mind football players going to class as long as it's basketball season, or didn't have enough pimples to get into the North Avenue Trade School, then you'll enjoy this one.

Monday's Meatloaf - "I'll see you at graduation tonight, son."

Those weren't the last words I ever heard Mr. Mac say to me, but they were perhaps the most meaningful. Most educators will freely admit that they, at least partially, go into the field for those precious two months in the summer. If you meet one that says otherwise, they're either lying or fresh out of college. Probably both. But I feel comfortable speaking for those of us who are also very dedicated to making young lives better equipped for their future, that our hearts are anchored in our career.

And if you were to condense his (estimated) five foot nine, three hundred pound frame into one thought, that was Mr. Mac. I was saddened with the news of his passing earlier this month. So glad he had 77 years on this Earth to enrich the lives of everyone that came within his orbit.

My two most vivid memories of Mr. Mac are bookends to my high school career. As a freshman at Cedar Shoals someone broke into the locker room. While Coach Scott blew his whistle and as we expertly performed fitness drills in the gym, the thieves made off with some misdemeanor type valuables. I lost a grand total of five dollars and a belt. It was traumatic. Guess that new Yes album would have to wait. 

The next day I was called into the principal's office. Even though my dad had told me Mr. Mac was the gentlest of giants, I was petrified. The principal's office? I hadn't done anything, but obviously I was at fault for something. I remember sitting there in the chair across from his desk, waiting for whatever punishment it was I was there for to present itself. "I hadn't done anything!", I continued to scream inside my head. I'm sure y'all remember how the teenage mind can relentlessly torture its host in every way imaginable. And my imagination was in overdrive.

Mr. Mac finally walked in and introduced himself. "You're Dr. B's son right?" Immediately I was struck by his kindness. He came across as the most down to Earth school principal I'd known in all my years of formative education. Then again, he also seemed as big as the Earth itself. In the end, I had no idea how true that thought was.

The rest of conversation was lost in a blur of a heightened heart rate and the type of nervousness only a teenage boy of fourteen who is not wearing nearly enough anti-perspirant can understand. After a few moments he reached deep into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, grabbed a five dollar bill, and handed it to me as he stood up.

He then smiled as I took the bill from his large hand. "I'm sorry my belt won't fit you." He winked as he said it, just to make sure I was completely at ease. I'm sure I thanked him in some awkward manner. And I hope some measure of sincerity was transmitted.

Today's Ingredients
- My dad told me that one March, Mr. Mac showed him a stack of papers bound together. Each one represented a home visit he made for a CSHS student who was in trouble of some sort. Here's a fund set up to continue such efforts for the Cedar Shoals community in his name, if you're so inclined.
- Hope you caught our tailgate roundtable. If not, here they are in order of appearance: quarterbacks, center, receivers, defensive standout, Coach Pruitt, schedule, and overall feelings.
- August isn't even here yet and Tyler is already looking at some cupcakes in November. I see his overall point, but Georgia Southern stands above the rest of those he clumps together. They've taken down Florida and gone toe to toe with Bama in Tuscaloosa.
- They also came as close if not closer than the Dawgs at taking the "State Champs" stamp off of Tech's shiny new 2014 rings.
- Speaking of the engiNerds, the AJC may have missed the latest chapter in Reuben Houston drug story, but Blutarsky didn't.
- And speaking of non-conference scheduling, G&B Attack looks at the Gamecocks' future slate.
- MaconDawg has a look at Coach Richt's new 2017 commit, DeeJay Dallas.
- "So many people." Weiszer writes about the spectacle Dawg Night has grown into.
- Over at Field Street Forum there's a challenge that, should you choose to accept it, could drop a lucrative prize into your lap. (No, not Bama in Sanford tickets. I'm talking about "BRAGGING RIGHTS" son!)
- I'm as much a sucker for a sucker punch at Coach Nicky as the next guy.
- Jason Isbell is a master at lyrics. Here are some words regarding the new album that I found rather astute.

Both literally and figuratively, I was ready to put Trigonometry in the rear view mirror. It was the last exam that stood between me and life beyond the last 12 years of formal education; one final hurdle before I cranked up my 1967 Malibu Chevelle and conquered the world.

(not an) Actual picture of me performing some mathing

I resisted the temptation to speed through the parking lot. As the rest of the underclassmen finished their last day of school, I was heading home mid-morning, with nothing to do but go back to sleep...after setting an alarm that would allow me to (possibly) brush my hair, (potentially) brush my teeth, walk across the stage, and accept my ticket to adulthood.

Yes, every ounce of me wanted to punch the gas and crank Telegraph Road one last time as I peeled onto Cedar Shoals Drive. But I was also compelled to savor the moment. And I was glad I chose the latter.

At the end of the one way conduit from the student parking lot to the front drive beside the school sat a metal chair doing its best to contain a man better suited for a La-Z-Boy. Even as a soon to be graduate, I wasn't one that was familiar with the ins and outs of leaving campus before the final bell. While I wait for you to stop laughing I'll simply add that based on my limited experience there was a 50-50 shot of getting the security officer as opposed to clear passage. I'll also add that the seniors had been reminded (repeatedly) that if we intended to leave campus early we were to bring a note from home.

"Good morning Mr. Mac."
"How'd the trig final go?"
[What?!? How'd he know? Oh God, I'm doomed to go spend four hours in the library shelving books or something. Damnit! DAMNIT!!!!]
"Um..good Mr. Mac. I, um..."
"You forgot a note didn't you?"
"Yessir. I just.."
"I'll see you at graduation tonight, son."

Suddenly I was that awkward 14 year old again - overly excited and equally amazed by my principal's ability to relate. He moved his steel chair from the middle of the lane to the side so that I could pass and gave me a wink.

It was the same wink Doug McLaughlin gave me later that evening when I crossed the stage at Stegeman Coliseum and received my diploma. My formative education was done. That one wink, just as his incredibly firm handshake and every single slap on the shoulder he gave me and thousands of other students that passed him in the hall on the way to their next class, told me that what was waiting for me tomorrow was greater than anything I could leave behind in a trail of gas fumes and a Mark Knopfler solo.

Mr. Mac always had the bigger picture. I'm proud to have shared a few frames in it.

Have a great Monday y'all!

Friday Misery - The Iliad of Todd Damn Gurley

gift (n) - 1. a present; 2. something given to another with little to no expectation of reciprocation; 3. a pair of socks your grandmother knitted, wrapped in tacky giftwrap, and set underneath the Christmas tree next to your brother's Red Ryder carbine action 200 shot range model air rifle; 4. an ability, particularly one that sets one apart from some other poor goddamn bastard.

Or...gift (adj) 1. something designed to kick you in the nads when you least expect it. As in, "That gift horse had little tiny men with spears and shit in it."

What you (don't) need to know
The Trojans of Troy AL come to town after a heart-breaking loss to some Christians from Abilene TX. Nevertheless, these tackle footballers are warriors, led by Larrinius Blakenius and his epic two-headed quarterback not to mention a sieve of a defense. Trojan beat writer Homer describes Blakenius' systemic path of destruction peace and solitude amongst his foes.

"...Its devastation, which put pains thousandfold upon joy in the hearts of the Achaians hurled in their multitudes to the house of Hades a locally owned Hooters strong souls of heroes and ample breasted women, but gave their bodies to be the delicate feasting of dogs, of all birds, half-cooked chicken wings and the will of Zeus Mark Emmert was accomplished."

Asked just what the hell that meant, Homer expounded...

Always thought Aphrodite was a bitch anyway
A bite of apple golden fair, and war was born
The Alabammians sharpened swords and spear,
the bitter rage of halitosis unleashed,
Yet still Knowshon he runs with angst afoot. 

Haugabook valiantly stoned condemned Palamedes,
Yeh then turned his gaze towards his concubines,
But it was Allen of Asher that made him his own Aphrodite,
Blakenius called a timeout and Willinius Martus gasped for air.

Many years passed but smoke lingered,
gathered on the tongue of Slive's master schedule,
Right Click, Cut, Paste! and battle born anew.

Achilles, after doing his hair.

In the distance, an Achaen farted his disdain.

Fat from years of conference mid-major expansion,
Spoiled of bowls of dates, olives and GoDaddys,
The Trojans packed their chariot bus with armor,
El Caminos' beds chock-full o' possum jerky.

Y'all?!? Yah they verily!

The drums beat and the storm gathered,
Memories of DeMarcus, Umenyiora, Leodis,
Elbert and DuJuan on their minds,
They would dance on these Dawgs' graves!

But oh snap went the pigskin,
Homer loosed a barbaric "Doh!"
A Trojan warrior decapitated and lifeless,
Leonard Floyd done sacked yo ass Troy!

The crowd, stunned at the grotesqueness,
Was yet entertained beyond measure,
Rose to its collective feet, roared, then
Tweeted that shit soldier boy!

With full AT&T LTE service. True dat.

Achilles, thine heel hath been named Todd Gurley.
Die in your own Alabammmmian entrails,
A Sun Belt noosed 'round thy neck, 
Unleashed these Dawgs of War.

And my World Literature teacher in high school thought I used Cliff Notes. Tsk. tsk. Let's close in prayer shall we? "Dear Lord, please protect us from Achilles' hair dryer on 3rd and long and allow our baton twirlers to sneeze hard enough to beat these menfolk of troy. Thank you and Amen."

Humpday Hilarity - not those Trojans!

Live from a Troy AL Wal-Mart...

Around the taildate - the schedule

Thanks for clicking in this week. Today we look at the schedule and how it shapes up for the Dawgs this fall.

Taking a look at the schedule, how do you feel it shapes up for Georgia this season? What's the biggest game that you have circled?

Robert

The 2014 schedule sets up great.  I tend to be on the optimistic side, but I only see 3 teams that I am worried about.  (SC, Fla, and Auburn)  Of those three games, we have a bye week before SC and Florida.  We have Auburn at home.  

The second game of the year in Columbia East is the biggest game of the year in my opinion.  It sounds a little crazy saying that, because we all know how wild and crazy the college football season can be.  I think a win against the Cocks would put UGA in prime position to make the SEC Championship game and that in itself would make us contenders for the 4 team playoff.

Joe Waterloou

The season shapes up about as perfectly as any UGA fan can hope.  Having bye weeks before South Carolina and Florida is exactly what most fans would ask for, but this is the rare season I wish we had Carolina late in the year.  Going to Columbia in week 2 is going to be brutal with an inexperienced QB.  I know they have QB issues of their own, but that defense and home crowd is not what we want Mason to go through for his first real road game.  There's no doubt that week 2 at USC is the key to the whole season.  I don't think we can overcome being effectively 2 games back with our inexperience at QB and defensive question marks.

Namaman

We come out to the gate fast again this year with Clempson and South Carolina back-to-back.  I am sure Spurrier likes that better than waiting for us at the end of September.  After that, we have nice streak of home games that should be winnable and then hit the road forever...  It is always tough when you are on the road for a month and a half.  Going to Missouri and Arkansas back to back will be interesting, but at least there is a week off before heading down to the WLOCP.  I am looking forward to Kentucky this year as this will be my first time traveling to Lexington (assuming we get the tickets!).  I still hate the we play Florida the day after Halloween this year.  As much fun as it was taking the red eye down in the morning the last time this happened, I am not sure about our "ticket back" to the ATLon Sunday.  It is still a work in progress, but if I go, I will be sure to slow down with jean-short-wearin' cousing Bill's Bloody Mary's lest I relive the tailgate blackout from yesteryear... Sheesh!

Son of AHD 

I think this schedule sets up pretty sweet for our Dawgs. There is an off week before both the Cocks and the Gayturds. Both of those teams have played us very tough the past several years, and an off week can only make things easier. Everyone else in the East is a joke except for Mizzou, but I feel like we can play them better than last year. Out of the west we miss out on Bama and LSU and instead face the atrocious B10 coaching of Brett Beliema and the convicts of Auburn (at home finally). While I don't like the idea of traveling all the way to Arkansas to play them, I still think that our boys can put that one in the bag pretty easily. Everyone seems to be putting Nick Marshall on their Heisman watch lists, but for the life of me I can't figure out why. He needed two miracle plays to beat UGA and Bama, and then Pruitt shut him down in the second half of the national championship game. I mean, for Christ's sake, Todd Grantham was a play away from not losing the game for us against Auburn. Marshall is no Cam Newton. Richt and Bobo didn't think he had what it takes to be a QB, and they know a little bit about that position. The ACC is an even weaker conference now that they semi added the losing Irish of Notre Dame. For another year we will all get to yell "We run this state" as the nerds of Tech slink back to their holes.
    All that being said, I feel like the two biggest games are the first two games. Clemson and SC will set the tone for the rest of our season. We might be able to lose to Clemson and still set a good tone like last year, but barring a bad snap on a FG and several key injuries, we should be able to beat them. In fact, I hope we embarrass them in front of our home crowd (I'm still a little bitter about Clemson fans asking, "How does that Bama dick taste?" as if coming a play away from the national championship was something to be ashamed of).

AthensHomerDawg
First four out of  5 games are at home. We get Clemson at home to start the season. Now we can treat them to a loud stadium. I always hate playing Cacalacky at their place. The upside is that it is not a night game and we get a week off before their game. We get the Hillbillies and Upstart Vandy between the hedges too. Last year uT really came out and hit us in the mouth. I hope we return the favor. After that we will be living in hotels and out of our suitcases for  4 games.I am not making the road trip to Missouri this year. Those are some nice fans they have up there. "Thanks for Coming." How many times did I hear that? We catch a week off before the Gators. When we finally get back to the Hedges we start immediately with the Barners. Pay back is a bitch! We should cruise with the rest of the schedule until its time to get ready for the  SECC game.  Yeah Baby! Thaz what I'm talkin' about!

Holy crap! That HomerDawg clan really can bring it! Good stuff. And about how I feel about the 2014 schedule. Anything they missed? Add it in in the comments. Go Dawgs!

A Saban and Kiffin standoff

Sometimes a thousand words can't even begin to explain a picture's worth.

Some possible captions:

• Kiffin: "What's new pussycat?"
• Saban: "Yes Lane. I have seen your wife. Can we please get back to pass skels now?"
• Kiffin: "Look, you stand over there Cochise. I got this."
• Saban: "No. No media Lane. We've been over this. NO MEDIA."
• Kiffin: "Pull a finger Nick. Any finger...."
• Saban: "Son, I've told you every gotdamn day so far...there is no mandatory surf time for the quarterbacks! We're in Tuscaloosa Alabama for Christ sake!"

Saban's brute squad gains another voice

Add former offensive lineman Kellen Williams to the ranks of players defending their coach against malicious attacks on his "process" and alleged hidden agendas.

"He knows better than anyone in the country how to stop it. Obviously, the Oklahoma game and Auburn games weren't just on him. I was a senior and it was kind of on us as well." 

Williams went on to echo the comments made in recent months by departing seniors AJ McCarron and Kevin Norwood, both of whom said some of the younger players on Alabama's roster didn't "buy in" to Saban's trademark "Process." 

In his five years at Alabama, Williams said there was a "big difference" between the three national championship teams and the two in which the Crimson Tide came up short.

 By the way, where are all of Bielema's former players these days? Under a rock somewhere?