Ahh...Fandom...

Not sure where this guy's seats are...did he ever say? But pretty sure he's wearing jorts...

Omaha Now a Pipe Dream...???

Just a few weeks ago we all could see this happening again this season.

Now...not so much.

Word to Ya Mutha

Happy Mother's Day Weekend BDB Peeps! We're gonna turn this mutha out quick so that you loafers can get back to planning your special lady's day. Just be careful not to take a nap while the Sunday dinner is on the grill...or you may end up at a KFC drive-thru.

Today's blawg is chock full of little treasures. To be quite honest, it's carefully crafted and delicately designed. That's right - for your convenience, I've added numerous subliminal messages in today's post. All aimed at giving you loser sons and deadbeat dads a clue as to what you should be out buying instead of reading this drivel.

Moms are special. They survived three weeks of pain-staking labor to pop your lazy rear end out and never made you feel guilty because of it. It's time to show some love and give a little back.

If there's one thing the moms in my life taught me the value of, it was to leave well enough alone. Was reading me some AllJackCrap recently and discovered some commenter named "Joe" has a hankering to tinker. 

I don't know who you are kid, but just because your mom spent more time chain smoking Pall Malls in front of All My Children instead of shoveling homebaked cookies into your fat trap doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the SEC - at all! But evidently Barnhart was intrigued enough with Joe's blathering that he posed the question.

Should the SEC abandon the 5-1-2 scheduling format and tinker with its masterpiece?

As I read the piece, I could hear my grandmothers screaming.....LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE [BERNIE].....AND WIPE YOUR FACE OFF, YOU'VE GOT CHOCOLATE CHIP SMUDGES ALL OVER IT! 

At a kid I didn't realize they were such big fans of the Georgia-Auburn rivalry. And I'm sure they didn't realize "Joe Commenter" was such a tool. 

As for the scheduling question - I'm for whatever format lands me in Stark'dVille the least.

Friday Feedbag

• What damn business is it of ours if Manny Ramirez wanted to give birth to his own biological child instead of adopt? And the least MLB could do is give the guy more than 50 days off to try and conceive. I thought pro baseball was more family oriented...
• The Roanoke Times has reported that VA Tech assistant coach Stacy Palmore is leaving the program to round out Coach Fox's staff in Athens (H/T Hale).
• From Butts-Mehre to Macon to Columbus.....mum's the word.
• What better way to show your Mum you love her than to plop in front of the TV Sunday afternoon at 2pm and watch the GymDogs' defense of their Nat'l Title? ...or just set your DVR.
• The best news of the week is summed up like this: Georgia SMART, Tech DUMB. At least the way I read it..... I guess Felton could out-coach in some aspects. You know, the same way my mom can out-manage Dave Braine when it comes to running an athletic program.
• Streit's second installment of his weekly series is up. If you're not sold by the possible Rose Bowl preview, just hang on 'til the end.
• Back 'tween the hedges, the issue of which RB steps up to gain the most carries this fall is as up in the air as a balloon filled with hot air. Meanwhile, the guys blocking up front remains nearly as unsettled...but in a good way. Weiszer takes a look at the depth, talent and experience at the Dawgs' position of strength. 
• After four days off, the Diamond (in case you hit the Mega Millions tonight) Dawgs return to the field this weekend against Vandy. This is the final homestand of the season and tickets are still available. And while BDB is pushing ticket purchases, they are also still available for the game against NATS at Turner Field Tuesday. Granted the game is not nearly as sexy as it seemed a couple weeks ago...but I REALLY don't want to end up there with a buncha engineers just to hear my BARK! echo off the center field wall.
• Battle Hymn Notes has a great preview of July's SEC Media Days. When the schedule was released this week I'll admit I was hoping to see Lil' Kiff paired with Corch Meyer, the Visor and the Sabanator. But after reading the post, I'm just as intrigued.
• I've been trying to curb my YouTube addiction recently...and I can't stand Jim Rome, but was glad to see this post by Cousin Walter. I concur....Karma can be a bitch.
• If you're like me and missed the first time around with the Senator's discussion of that political hot button issue, the BCS...the weekend is a good time to catch up.
• And lastly, I know it's Mother's Day weekend and all, but found this great post at DadCentric. It works for both moms and dads alike...as long as they have at least one girl and are in possession of or in the market for a gun.

Speaking of my Smith & Wesson, I may be looking down the barrel of it if I don't find these damn earrings Jenn wants for Mother's Day. If she's given you any hints Reader of where they might be, hit me up with your knowledge. Otherwise I might have to cook a full meal instead of just picking up that bucket of extra crispy I ordered from KFC.

And in honor of my own dear Mama, I'd like to clear up a 25 year old family mystery. Although sometimes I get surprised by an overseas visitor here at BDB's corner of the internets, I'm pretty sure it doesn't reach ALL the way out to Hawaii (or as my Anma would say - HaWhyYah) where my brother breaks up the boredom of being a surfer dude with some art teaching. So I'm confident that this confession will go uncontested...

Mom - it was Jeff that broke that friggin' lamp. He paid me $10 to put it back together with SuperGlue in a way that would buy us almost two weeks before you or Dad would notice.

Wow! That feels better. Two and a half decades of waterboarding was a plenty! 

Make your mom's day Reader. Confess something. Just don't make it awkward. Might spoil the dessert conversation.

Bernie

CMR Talks Spring

Coach Richt sat in front of a camera and answered questions from Eric Kasilias for College Football Live. If you're looking for a direct response to the suspensions or the APR report, this isn't it. But if you want to see a great smirk when given a good question about KiffyBaby...press play. (H/T TotalUGA.com)

Dawg House Daze

As the warm, fuzzy vibes were just starting to really tingle from the positive press about good behavior in and around Athens...three players have killed the buzz.

...or enjoyed it for too long...

Not since Quincy donned the "thumb cast" on the Plains has the rumor mill around Athens swirled as much as it did Wednesday afternoon. Justin Houston, Tony Wilson and Bruce Figgins all face suspensions. 

The reasons have not been confirmed, but have certainly been speculated. Regardless, it sounds as if Stillwater just got rougher.

The Mutha Throwing the Dawgs a Bone...??

Yesterday I complained some about adding New Mexico State to the '11 schedule. My controlled fury was two-fold: I want to see higher caliber opponents 'tween the hedges and beyond, AND we're paying the Aggies nearly a full Mega Millions jackpot for the Sanford Stadium win.

Well, Mr. CFB has a column today that in part explains the exorbitant fee. For some reason he also asks who's the better WR, Julio Down by the Schoolyard Jones or our own AJ Green. 

PUUUHHLEEEASE!!

But there's an even better column in the AllJackCrap today by Tim Tucker. He recently dialed up Mr. Atlanta Sports hisOWNself, Gary Stokan to get some clarification on the possibility of Georgia playing a season opening game in the GA Dome (see Bama Ending Tommy's Career).

Much of Tucker's interview plays out as expected, but there were a couple parts that had my undivided attention. Like when he explores the possibility of the game taking the place of a more distant road trip:

So Stokan thinks a game at the 72,000-seat Georgia Dome could make sense for the Bulldogs some year in lieu of a distant trip. He sees the game not as a replacement for a home game in 92,000-seat Sanford Stadium - but as a replacement for a road game to which UGA would get unlimited tickets.

By unlimited I assume he means our portion of the agreed allotment and any that Trojan fans don't want to use September 4th, 2010. Those of course are my words and not Stokan's. But we do have a slot open for a non-conference opponent on that date. However, we would need some flexibility from the University of Colorado.

Back to Stokan's words:

"You try to work with schedules...Does something make sense where someone would move something back to allow something else to happen?"

Enter the Mutha. Usually, what ESPN wants....ESPN gets.

Stay tuned.

KiffyBaby Shows Soft Side & Still Sells Recruit Short

Daniel Hood has come a long way. At 13 he was involved in a heinous crime and paid his dues as a juvenile. Between then and now, the kid has turned his life around.

Honors student. Stellar prospect at D-end. Most importantly, he's now a young man of great character that is vouched for by numerous sources in his life and community.

As a result of his hard work and character makeover, his victim wishes him well and the brand spankin' new Vol coaching staff offered him a chance at SEC level competition.

Kudos, Mr. Hood. But why would KiffyBaby make this comment: Everyone spoke highly of Daniel. He's a bright young man who wants to move past this incident and be a good representative for the team, the university and the community.

Move past this incident...?? Sounds to me like Hood HAS moved past the incident. Maybe those in Knutsville should move past the incident. Also sounds like KiffyBaby could learn some things from his newest signee.

What exactly? I don't know...things like how to be a good representative for the team, the university and the community.

I'm not sayin'...I'm just sayin'.

Every Rose Has Its Thorn....

...and Big Ten Commish Jim "Logic Has No Place Here" Delaney is evidently a prick. The conference head honcho has given JoePa an irreverent ...with all due respect...

[To clarify for you Reader, the Big Ten is actually made up of eleven tackle football teams. To add one more would put them on a "level" playing field with other conferences like the SEC, Big 12, ACC...and would evidently change the conference's name to the Big Ten+2.]

Recently the aged yet sharp as a tack Nittany Lion HC lambasted his own conference for not adding a 12th team and in due order, a conference championship game. His arguments were as pointed as they were salient:

*  Big Ten teams finish their season weeks ahead of other conferences who have the CCG
*  The Big Ten sucks in its own premier bowl (no Rosey wins since the last millennium)
*  The Big Ten sucks in BCS games (see Ohio State, BCS bust)
*  Why not take a bite of the pie the SEC has been enjoying since the early '90s?

Delaney, non-plussed, argued that both of his hips are natural. Paterno pestered further:  Everybody else is playing playoffs on television...you never see a Big Ten team mentioned, so I think that's a handicap.

This from a man who has used a cane in transportation...Delaney should lend an ear. Instead he points out that the ACC and WAC CCGs have been played to crowds rivaling some high school orchestra concerts. Delaney argues: Has it (the CCG) enhanced the competitiveness of the WAC? I don't know. 

Hypodermically speaking, who would the Big 11 add? JoePa suggests raiding the Big East for Rutgers, Syracuse or Pitt. Delaney evidently still has the hots for Notre Dame, "...there aren't a lot that could bring so much to make the choice an easy one."

Yeh, but what are their orchestra programs like?

JoePa says, "Can you hear this?"

Synchronize Your Calendars

Happy Cinco de Mayo Reader! It's a good day to enjoy a cerveza and remember that Napoleon III was just a slightly taller version of his uncle, neither of which could hold General Zaragoza's musket.

Friggin' french...

New Mexico State will get a healthy purse to play Georgia 'tween the hedges in November 2011 according to Weiszer. The game sits on the calendar after the WLOCP and before Chizik brings his War Tigers to town, assuming he's

still off the chizzang! If you want to see the projected schedule in brilliant technicolor, sicemdawgs has your hookup.

Not exactly a strong out of conference slate for the '11 season. As PWD points out, maybe we should reevaluate our deal with Louisville as they are a mere shadow of the team we once scheduled.

After all, I was just bashing the lowly reptiles last night as I pored over my new '09 SEC Helmet Schedule in its technicolor brilliance. Chances are TeaBag won't break a sweat until well into October when they head to the bayou. That's right, Slurban's slummin' this fall with teams like Charleston Southern and FIU, not to mention Florida State....after acting all high and mighty this off-season complaining about former QBs turned shock jocks and Chizik's recruiting tools.

Friggin' floriDuh....

Dos mas cervezas por favor. This post was a buzz killer.

Monday's Meatloaf - A Ride By Shooting at the Glue Factory

Any moment now...West Side Bernie is going to finish the Kentucky Derby. You just watch...

I spent a good deal of time during the hors-douerves portion of supper club touting the dominance my pony was about to show the rest of the field. Perhaps it was the first six or so mint julips, but I was feeling pretty confident.

And numbers like THIRTY TWO to ONE could do nothing to sway me. West Side Crips would show those geldings how we roll in Compton.

But when West Side Bernie trotted out in front of Bob Costas without the blue doo rag....well, I knew he was closer to glue than glory. I guess our gangsta style doesn't translate well in the land of calculating by fingers and coloring outlines the lines. Cuz that IS how dey roll in kenYUCKy.

Some even bigger longshot ran away with the roses after a host of jockeys helped pave the way. It still bewilders me how pretty much every horse gave Mind That Bird the rail the last 3/4 mile. Ainsley coulda won that race on her Barbie Bigwheel.

In the end, it's always easier to lose a little folding money than your dignity (see below for Diamond Dawg update). Perhaps the Belmont will prove a more friendly surface for my colt.

Today's Ingredients

• It will be interesting to see how Perno's Pups react to being stripped of their bark. Of course playing as the lead Dawg hasn't been great as of late, especially for the bullpen. But getting swept by the gators at Foley is the lowest we've been this season. Three leads. All blown.
• Coach Fox is settling into his new digs quite nicely. David Hale has a nice wrapup of what he's been up to and what's ahead.
• Rennie Curran has been the consummate collegiate football player. Weiszer has some thoughts from Curran after last weekend's draft that fit quite nicely into his 5' 10.5" frame.
• In case you missed it, here's a great little story that speaks volumes about the character that Knowshon possesses.
• The Senator summarizes Slurban's latest temper tantrum. Will someone tell that guy that winning the MNC actually affords him more opportunity to take the higher road?
• Exhile takes Congressman Barton's subcommittee hearing to task. Ladies and gentlemen...your tax dollars at work.
• Catfish and Cornbread are counting down the days...
• Tim Tucker reports that today is the day Munson gets his due.

Overall, a rough weekend sports-wise with the Foley sweep and longshot win from the Derby. If it weren't for my pony-tail'd Mia Hamm clones the weekend would've been a total loss. Seriously, watching five year olds do bicycle kicks on the pitch is an impressive sight to behold.

So some mad props to the Green Machine, Mallory for earning both ribbons in her three goal performance and to Conner for being the only little girl not to scream like one when it rained during the second half. Amid the thunder, lighting strikes and ping-pong ball sized hail she was ready for more action while everyone else ran for the parking lot full of mini-vans ...with or without their child.

And snaps in the Trammell's direction for the Derby Party. The only thing more solid than a Cord muddled Mint Julip is Meg's Kentucky Hot Browns. But the Supper Club MVP is still Erin, who refuses to leave the kitchen sink. Go ahead...try and get that dish towel out of her hands.

Stick a fork in it Reader. Call it a lunch.

Bernie