Trivial Update - Dawg Breeds Dogs

#ThursdaysRTrivial episode 57 is coming up right after this PSA: Nine days. That is all.

#ThursdaysRTrivial episode 57 "Nice Dog Dawg"...It's the Twitter Twivia show that's full of kibbles and bits. REPLY back your answer for a chance at a fabulous prize. @BD_Illustrated had a nice podcast the other day of Bacarri Rambo talking about his dog Jeezy. What former Dawg has a breeding kennel that has produced pitbull puppies for DJ Shockley, Laila Ali and Chili of TLC?


I hate to mention this name for the first time on this blog, but when Mike Vick officially became a dillweed Sean Bailey was a voice of reason for dog owners, especially pitbull owners. That was about the time I first found his site devoted to his kennel.


From the tweets it seems I wasn't the only one in tune with Bailey's post-Dawg passion for dogs.

After I took that HyperSnap, @Namaman also tweeted in with the correct answer. He may have been tardy to the party, but he's one DamnGoodDawg you don't leave behind. More on his heroics in another post.


So...@TNRLM edged out the competition for first and takes home a LSU jockstrap that was left on the GA Dome floor back in December of '05 (video evidence below). @The_Real_Paige gets a Sean Bailey jersey custom made for her own dog. Nama...he gets a mulligan tomorrow. What else?


Meanwhile, Sean Bailey ladies and gentlemen, in one of my all-time favorite games. (low quality video, but best I could find)

Sometimes it sucks to be a cajun.

Ealey Chooses Mug Shot Over DMV

UPDATE: Oh swell, a bench warrant too.

I can NOT stand going to the Department of Motor Vehicles. I've never had a trip there that wasn't eventful in some form or fashion. You walk into a DMV and you are asking for at best a long line, at worst a difficult encounter in a shallow gene pool. 

But given the choice of posing for a picture there or for a mugshot...do you really even need to ask?

The issue of suspended licenses and the University of Georgia football team continued its awkward dance early this morning. The only beneficiaries are the teams that play the Dawgs during Washaun Ealey's suspension. If it's one game, we're lucky we don't have an OOC BCS team coming to Athens. If it's two games...hello King/Thomas Connector! Take us through Chickumbia!

And don't kid yourself, the issue is completely about Ealey's license. If it wasn't suspended at the time, he wouldn't have felt the urge to flee after being stopped by a parking official. One mistake led to a bad decision. Suddenly choosing to drive while unlicensed has hurt Ealey himself, his teammates and his fans. Not to mention an innocent driver who happened to park in Ealey's way.

The message boreds will undoubtedly take a shot or two at Coach Richt. Finebaum and his minions will happily lead the charge if necessary. But what is a man supposed to do that he's not already taking care of? His staff handles this to the best of their ability. At some point you just have to hitch a ride down Lexington HWY and fill out a form. Blue or black ink will do.

My message to any UGA athlete is simple: driving is a privilege, not a right. Your license must be current. The line forms at the back.

DoucheVanDriver of the Day

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Watch this video and follow the subtitles at the bottom for the full effect. But correct me if I'm wrong...doesn't the truck...

...yeh! I think that truck is the same one EDSBS found impacting a downtown Atlanta establishment the other day. (h/t Miranda & Boortz)

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Now Munson's WhatYaGotLoran is Gone. Ugh.

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Smith Steps Back; Dowdle to Roam Sideline

I'm not a big Dowdle fan. I won't hide that. But I'm trying not to let that muddy the waters of this story. It's the end of an era certainly. Loran Smith may not have been critical to the gametime experience on Fall Saturdays 'tween the hedges, but he added his own flair. And if you're like me, you dug it. Whether you like Smith or not, there's no doubting that the man bleeds red and black. I especially enjoy his written word.

But lo, Smith will not conduct the locker room post-game interviews or report from the sideline this fall. Retired WSB sports dude Chuck Dowdle will take on those duties. The phrase being used is natural progression in terms of Loran's move. That smells like he's being forced into his adapted role.

What ya got Loran?...thanks for the memories, seemingly useless comments and especially the injury updates.

Here's Weiszer's full rundown of the changes, which include a new role for Dawg legend David Greene.

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Next Year is Now

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The long off-season nightmare is almost over.

Good stuff from BI...

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Lee Ziemba: a man in pursuit of perfection

Reading that AwwBarn offensive tackle Lee Ziemba returned for his senior season to focus on cleaning up errors just reminds me of this play last season.

I mean...that's an error that may take a lot of cleaning. Terrell Owens and that douchebag who changed his name to a fake Spanish number, they don't like big hefties coming out into their space. Good thing Lee came back.

Many Happy (Punt) Returns

A wise man once told me that when it comes to flying a plane, you always want your number of landings to equal the number of takeoffs. Read this tweet from Weiszer last night and it reminded me of that sage advice.

Richt says AJ Green, Branden Smith, Carlton Thomas, Bacarri Rambo, Logan Gray are among those working as punt returners.

marcweiszer

Marc Weiszer

So...I got to thinking...who would I rather have back there? First of all, I pulled their stats, if there were any.

Branden Smith - no punt returns (16 KO returns, 17.4 yard avg)

Logan Gray - 7 returns, 12 yard avg (including 1 for -2 yards in 2009, aka forgot to wave)

AJ Green - no punt returns (but had 4 rushes from scrimmage for 61 yards in 2008)

Bacarri Rambo - 1 return, 21 yards

Carlton Thomas - 1 return, -1 yard

A punt returner reminds me of an airplane trying to soar in airspace that happens to have up to 11 heat seeking missiles directed towards it. I don't mind putting an expensive learjet back there as long as it's not also being counted on to fly the team on the next road trip.


So AJ may be the most intriguing option back there, but do I really trust some cock not to accidentally miss a fair catch signal and send the 2010 Heisman Trophy winner to Ron Courson's caring hands? For that matter, the same goes for Branden Smith who is (in my opinion) the most lethal option listed.

In my opinion, Thomas may be the best option, all things considered. He's shown that he has the moves and I like the idea of him in open space. As I picture him returning punts I picture a smaller version of Thomas Flowers. Despite his size he's strong enough to shed some tackles as well as make that one extra move that can be the difference in a 7 yard return and momentum shifting TD.


But in the end I'll be satisfied with whoever returns punts as long as they aren't just there to wave their hands like they just don't care.

From Stationary Bikes to Pancakes

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A week ago I said I wasn't worried about the o-line injuries, yet. I'll still hold to that thought. But I understand if some of you are getting increasingly more nervous.

Chris Burnette - concussion

Ben Jones - knee scoped

Cordy Glenn - mono

Trinton Sturdivant - knee rehab

Tanner Strickland - shoulder

Jeez Louise...who'd I miss? It's essential to our success this season for this group to remain deep, solidly deep. But you certainly already knew that. And of course, Coach Richt does as well:

Until we get that offensive line thing straightened away, I don't think we're really going to be clicking like I hope we will once everybody is back together and back healthy.

Luckily, none of those injuries up above should keep anyone from missing the opener. And in the mean time, the backups continue to get meaningful practice snaps.

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I Take Back Everything I Said About Rankings

Well, almost everything. I completely forgot about Deadspin's annual ranting through the rankings, The 2010 Hater's Guide to the Top 25 (h/t Heath). This year's version may be Mangary's best work. I didn't even get to floriDuh before I had laughed America's ass hair off.

Enjoy.

Cocks' Saunders Suspended, QBs Remain in Tight Battle

Weslye Saunders has been suspended indefinitely from the South Carolina football team, according to multiple reports. From what I gather there are also some untruths floating out there as to what took place at yesterday's practice and I certainly don't have a source inside Chickumbia. But stick close to Travis Haney on this one is my best advice. 

Normally this wouldn't jolt the interest meter too much. But this smells different than the usual Spurrier suspension song and dance of indefinite suspension during August only to have his offensive weapon suit up against us. I could certainly be wrong. We'll see.

We should continue to follow this one closely. Why? Because Saunders is the type of player that could make our brand new 3-4 defense fail its very first test.

In other news, The Visor has his QBs in an all too familiar position. It's looking more and more like Coach Grantham's charges will be up against a duo of signal callers when SEC play opens in two and a half weeks. Connor Shaw had another good scrimmage Saturday, outplaying incumbent car keyer starter Stephen Garcia.

I don't expect either QB to distance themselves from the other in what's left of camp. And a Thursday night game against Southern Miss isn't likely to tilt the depth chart either. So the ol' Ball Coach may still be in a quandary as to who his best option is under center when the Dawgs come barkin'.

And that certainly brings back memories.

For the record...

...THIS is not how I met Mrs. Bernie. But it opens up a world of opportunities on message boards.

Have fun.

Sidenote: what is up with that OSU beat writer's hair? (h/t Jeff)

Monday's Meatloaf - Rankings...Mascots, Teams, Players and Wheels

I know, I know. You want me to be upset about this slap in the face. But truly, Uga being ranked the second best college mascot is not something to sneeze at casually. Number two in the nation is pretty good.

Ralphie's my bitch.

But Ralphie? Really? That endangered species has never graced the cover of Sports Illustrated. Plus...he's a GIRL. 


Check the Adam's apple.


But no, I'm not gonna get bent out of shape. After all, I remember what it's like to have too much buffalo dung to clean up. And really, we all know Uga's the best damn mascot to ever represent a team. He's stolen the silverscreen spotlight from John Cusack and Kevin Spacey and has been invited to the Heisman Trophy presentation.


And it's not like this AP decision is even legit. They supposedly ranked the coolest college mascots. Uga rests his manhood on a bag of ice. You can't get much cooler than that.

Today's Ingredients

• Two weeks from today we'll be digesting what remains on the Cajuns. Three weeks out we'll either be slumping through the Monday post-loss doldrums...or failing to contain our unbridled enthusiasm.
• The words preseason and poll are like oil and water. Why do they keep putting them together?
• Garbin puts the peculiarity of Georgia's pre-season ranking into historical perspective.
• Vance talked to some seniors about special teams and camp in general.
• The Senator provides a voice to go with his words. Good stuff.
• Hedges to Hardwood runs down the weekend that was in Athens.
• Weiszer tells us Tampa Plant might already have a QB with Aaron Murray's school records in sight. At least it'll stay in the family.
• ecdawg's Recruiting Update included a report of Coach Richt's newest Dream Team member.
• AJ Green isn't good enough for Ivan Maisel's Heisman list, but he does make the top two in Rivals' WR preseason power rankings. If you'll allow me to pick a nit...like Uga up above, why is AJ not #1? More catches and yards than NotHer Dame's Michael Floyd. Plus, AJ juggles.
• "I didn't want to be compared to him, but I feel like I made it my own." Brandon Boykin, on taking Asher's number. 
• Terrific analysis by Exile on what basics Murray needs to master early.
• MT has some evidence that LSwho wouldn't cut it in the Ivy League...you know, should conference expansion go that far.
• Spent so much time Friday laughing at the enginerds here and here, I totally missed that Coach PaJammies is down to bare bones behind that Nesbitt fella.
• Speaking of Clean Old Fashioned Hate...this brought back some memories. (h/t Paige and Neil) My only argument is that the Tech band didn't win halftime in '92. You couldn't even hear them play over the boos. Some of which were coming from my only tech buddy sitting beside me.
• So what now, are they trying to get me to feel sorry for Bellotti?
• Lastly, in case you missed it yesterday: cheap tickets for you Braves fans for Sunday's game at Turner Field, Skin Cancer Awareness Day.

Successful Parking Attendant, ask Ferris.

Had the privilege of a very nice dinner out with the supper clubbers Saturday. We (literally) went to Market in Buckhead. And as usual, I out-ordered my bride. The strip steak with asparagus, shitake mushrooms and a soy-caramel sauce was almost as good as the cow I pull off my own grill.

After a week of being holed up at home without the wife and kids, it was nice to get out and stretch those social muscles. I didn't even mind when Cord went into his usual rant about being one of the original Goonies. 


But by the end of the evening the only thing being stretched was my patience. The valets had lost my car.

The manager (what do you have to do to become a manager of a valet stand, hold doors open for three consecutive years without slamming one on a patron's finger?) was the second and third to assure me it was being brought up forthwith. Since nearly 20 minutes had passed I questioned the truth of his assurance and watched him jog into the nether regions of the parking lot. Another 5 minutes passed and finally my car emerged.

It seems it had been found in the area of the parking lot rankings with the others receiving votes. As I drove home I had a clearer understanding of how South Carolina fans have felt all these years.

Here's your fork Reader. Have a great Monday. And be careful who you hand your keys to.

Bernie

Braves Win, Cancer Loses

To my knowledge this is my first ever post on the Atlanta Braves. But I often post on Skin Cancer Awareness. And this time they're connected.

Marilyn wants everyone at Turner Field on Sunday August 29th. See the flyers below for details, including a chance to meet the Braves' wives and VIP access to the Hank Aaron Room. Purchase your tickets through the Scan Foundation website.