the Friday Misery doesn't wear chaps

Hey Beevo, keep your dadgum ivoryish bovine protrusions away from our doggy!

steered clear

Seriously, why is that thing on the field? I've heard many raise the question, but have yet to hear a true answer. When Ralphie visited Sanford he was on his best behavior. I don't think his handlers even had to sedate him. I mean he ran on the field without trampling Joe Cox. Thank God!

But if this is the same Texas mascot that was at the Sugar Bowl a few years ago, give him a horse tranq for God's sake!

And I don't even know if Uga is travelling. I sure wouldn't if I were Boom and knew what that ornery two-ton sumbitch tried against Que. Give that good boy a tummy rub and let him just nap through the pre-game from the comforts of the Seiler sofa.

(UPDATE: Charles says Boom will indeed be safe in Savannah this weekend.)

when the secondary is a primary concern

Deeeeep.

Breath.....

Okay, it was uneasy then uncomfortable then unfathomable to watch our secondary get torched time and time again Saturday night. I get it, that was not fun at all. Offense was eating up yards and putting up points, but the defense just couldn't make ol' Missy State quit!

It starts, in my humble never been a tackle football coach's opinion, with the pass rush. I was a little, just a little, too hard on the secondary on Tuesday. Upon further reflection, every time we sent a blitz they had the correct call. And it went for a lot of yards if not a touchdown.

We just couldn't get our hands on the kid. And that starts in the trenches. Tomorrow we have to be able to generate a push and at least get some hands in Ewers' face. We made Miss State one-dimensional early. They wanted to run the ball, but we wouldn't let them.

Here's a dude that can GATA!

And while that eventually turned on us when they started to pass, we need to do the same tomorrow night. Yes, it's hard when Mykel isn't 100%. It's hard with Mondon sidelined. But these kind of games are won up front.

Now everybody...yes, even you pea brains in the back still whining about Kirby's forearm shiver. Let's all get into a three point stance...that's it...get your ass down Poindexter! Okay, now. Right arm up ready to chop wood, and...GET AFTER THEIR ASS!!

egos are especially bigger in texas

Gather around longhorns, and put your 10 gallon learning caps on. You are officially in the SEC now, so you have to act right. Yes, even though you were named after a steakhouse chain. And no, most of us don't want you around here anyway. And it's not because we're afraid of you. No, the decisions were and are made above our paygrade.

So listen here, stop whining every time an opposing fan gives you the horns down. Yes, we know it hurts your feelings and we saw when the Big12 front office enabled you like a green-faced toddler that doesn't wanna eat strained peas.

Grow a pair. Instead of putting a replica of a bull's scrotum on your trailer hitch, try loosening your girly chaps and find your own set. This is the SEC son! We can joke about Vandy "blowing the Admiral", and Carolina's choking chicken, and still have some modicum of respect for each other. Yes, we bark at perfect strangers. Yes, Florida claps like the graduating class for the directionally challenged. Missouri goes on the road...to play UMass! And don't get me started on Tennessee's Tour de Franzia or their depressing locker room mantra:

Narrator voice: "It was true. It could not be found."

Taunting, trash talk, turning Parliament Funkadelic's P-Funk hand signal upside down...it's all part of the fan experience. It's expected. It's understood. (And yes, I understand Auburn is more of an exception. But trust me, they're worse than a toddler with strained peas in his ears.)

Now, proudly pat that SEC patch on your jersey and understand you are now playing in the ELITE playground. No more plastic primary colored fake shit. I'm talking solid wood foundation with steel bars. I guess what I'm saying is, if the slide in our playground doesn't chap your ass, then an inverted set of fingers shouldn't either.

Let's all circle up and pray...take off your cap and let's see your pretty-boy haircut Arch! There we go...Lord, please protect these men tomorrow night as we continue to pray and look for ways to support hurricane victims across the southeast. And please, pleeeeaase! Let us get Ewers jersey dirty. Even after 8:50pm. Because we know it's ALWAYS 10 TO 9 IN TEXAS!! AMEN and Go Dawgs!

Bonus - this week's 4th & 3 Dudes episode

the Friday Misery has filed a SAVAGE claim

Last Saturday was not just a win, it was one of those wins that can define a program. We not only got our eighth win of the season, but we set an arch enemy back so far they decided to fire their coach and start over. That's something Tennessee and probably Missouri will do as well after their beat downs at the hands of the our Dawgs.

So look out Muschamp and Malzahn and Stoops, y'all're up!

So with such a colossal win, why haven't I posted any thoughts about it? Why haven't I weighed in this week on the possibility that the Dawgs could clinch the East in Sanford with a win over the Gamecocks paired with a Kentucky loss to Ole Miss?

Well, Derrick, Eddie, Colby and I found a strange way to celebrate the epic win in Jacksonville.

It's hard to type wearing a sling. But the good news is that everyone involved is okay (even the douchschnozzle florida fan that caused the whole mess and got away) and the wife is getting a brand new Porsche. Well, no. Probably not actually. Definitely.

Anyway, I wasn't going to leave y'all high and dry on a day like today. The chickens are coming to town and Kirby has shelved the Revenge Tour until after Thanksgiving. Since the doctor has set a word limit on all my blogging until Monday at the earliest, I hope you don't mind some simple pictures and then maybe a brief commentary/rant. If it doesn't get you quite fired up enough, light a Red candle, say the name "Erk Russell" seven times, then bash your forehead against a frozen chicken until you get a decent enough stream of blood.

Then by all means, shove a beer can up that bird's ass and throw it on the smoker!

"Coach Muschamp, after looking at some film, their third string running back

is just as fast and physical as Sony or Chubb..."

So some dude named Chris Clammons thought florida's defensive strategy of talking smack about Georgia's passing game worked so well that he'd kick it up a notch. "They can't pass." 

Let's take a look at some future footage of him trying to tackle Swift shall we...

Yeh, that worked about as well as it did for the gators.

And lastly, "Coach Spurrier, remind me again how much you enjoyed your last trip to Sanford?"

Speaking of the ol' ball coach, what're the odds he had his résumé on the florida AD's desk by the time the sun set Sunday night?

Who are Gamecocks? What do they do?

You know, except lose. Why are they even here? Why do we need South Carolina? In the 69 previous meetings between the Dawgs and the gamechickens, they’ve managed 18 wins.

Eight. Teen.

You want to know how shitty their football tackling program is? Ray Goff went 3-2 against South Carolina. From those three wins he now deep fries their white meat and sells it to people that’re starving for more triglycerides.

Have you ever been to a game in their off campus stadium that’s in the middle of a fair ground parking lot that smells like toe fungus and three day old half-cooked meat that’s just been left to sit out in the sun? No? Well, don’t. We lost by a field goal in 2014, one of the best games I’ve seen in the series to be honest. Close game, the kind of game where neither team deserved to lose. And yet I learned more lurid things that I didn’t know about my momma walking to my car than three years of therapy has yet to wipe clean.

You see, they’re not just wannabe rednecks, the ones that pretend they know how to hunt so they can justify the over-extended Bass Pro Shops Visa card and awkward camouflage assemble. And they’re not just average dipshits that like to spend Fall Saturdays pretending they went to school past the third grade before they dropped out and took a paper route to help feed daddy’s Busch Light and Marlboro addictions. No, they’re the third generation by-product of all that and a bag of bath salts.

Which happens to be why when you come across a Gamecock fan, you have a 78% chance of having an exchange similar to this:

“Hey buddy, did you walk to school or carry your lunch?”

“I...uh….uh, well, ya see, some days I remember...well...uh, hey! Uh, Hey! Did I say welcome to Zax Bee’s yet?”

“Okay, don't pull a muscle. I’ll just have your yearly desperation plate with an extra slice of toast. And a sweet tea.”

Dawgs - whatever number Kirby wants

Muschamp’s dark meat - 3

Now, please bow your heads...Dear Lord, I thank you for airbags and J.R. Reed. We pray for a total loss on my claim and an even totaler loss for them chickens tomorrow. Sic em on a chicken #Savages, all in the name of Pollack’s double inverse backwards interfumblerception, Amen!

326 - 30, the only thought that matters

Doesn't matter that Eason struggled yesterday.
Doesn't matter that the 1st half clock ran out on us.
Doesn't matter that Isaiah McKenzie only touched the ball six total times.
Doesn't matter that we totaled eight penalties, some at crucial points.

The only thing that matters is that we out gained South Carolina on the ground by nearly 300 yards. You do that you can work around a young quarterback that is struggling on the road with the wind. You can survive a big road test that was far from perfect when you have two rushers over 100 yards and a third very close.

Survive and load the bus. Let's get better each week.

Go Dawgs!

the Saturday Misery hates Matthew as much as carnies

First off, and in all seriousness…

We have spent the week concerned about the time and whereabouts of a football game. It’s only appropriate that we spend a moment of reflection on the devastation that this storm has caused and focus any possible effort towards assisting those left in its wake.

That being said...

You know, "hate" is strong word. Until it comes to college football rivalries in the South. Then it ain't remotely strong enough.

With the game tied, Betty decided it was time
to show her son just how few F's she had to give.

As Georgia fans, we often ask ourselves where exactly Sakerlina ranks on the list of most-hated rivals. Wait, strike rivals. We lead the all time series 40-18-2. That just makes them plain old regular opponents.

No wait, recent history suggests that it is a rivalry though as the game often has some impact on the divisional outcome. Also, in the last ten years the series is split evenly. (And for those of you chicken farmers that just wandered up in here that means we're both 5-5.)

Back to which team I hate the most...I typically put Florida 1A, followed by the engiNerds at 1B. Every other team in the SEC East plus Auburn is tied at 2. Notre Dame is 3. I'm going to put Florida again at 4. And also at 5. Until Thanksgiving week when Tech will take their place there at both 4 and 5. At 6 I think we should avoid putting any team from the north or midwest or way out west because to add them there would be a way of recognizing their existence, and truly I don't even watch their games except for an occasional highlight. So at 6 goes FSU. And then I'm changing my mind again and putting Ohio State at 7A and Michigan at 7B. Nope, make that Penn State at 7 all alone and then those other two at 8A and 8B. At 9 we clearly have to put Florida in there again and to round out this list we'll put Louisville, with the caveat that this team changes to wherever Petrino motors off to next.

Sakerlina fan last week after the women's Cross Country 
team placed first in the Winthrop Adidas Invitational.

Anyway, back to the second most hated team - the South Carolinian Cocks! I HATE them! I HATE the way they use any minutiae and fraction of a positive sign to rush to any and EVERY opportunity to trash talk. They could win a golf match by sinking a 150 yard 7-iron off a tree and they will go on and on and ON AND ON about how awesome they are and HOW MUCH YOUR MOTHER SUCKS!

Seriously, in 2014 we practically gave them the game. It was a terrific game to watch. I even had a seat by the Redcoats. A storm had given us an extra hour to tailgate. The Dawgs fought hard and lost. Walking out I found one, just one, gamecock fan willing to admit it was a great game. I shook his hand and then walked a never ending gauntlet of "F Georgia!" and also so much carnal knowledge about my own dear mother that I had to call her for reassurance and to erase the shame.

But kudos to them. They are the eleventy-billion repeat and undisputed national champion in yapping and trash talking and general lewd and lascivious prattle. They rule the world!

But who can blame them considering their other life choices. Those cluckers over yonder like some tired ass drive thru barbeque washed down with BOGO monster energy drinks. Those penned hens over yonder love them some backup quarterbackers, preseason aspirations, and pecking seed off the dusty ground. Those backyard cockerels over yonder puff their chest and strut their stuff at kickoff then chirp chirp chirp (win or lose) leaving the stadium.

Their diet consists of dashed dreams and Pepsi Cola. They’re corn-pecking herbivores in a carnivore’s environment. “Cluck like Tarzan! Football like Jane!”

So keep cluck clucking Gamechicks. The pan ain't hot enough just yet.

Words are fun!

Hurricane - a really big tropical storm that turns wind into a lethal weapon

Sand storm - 100% drier than a hurricane; a major dust up that only makes a gritty mess; also a huge an annoyance of a sound; worse than this. Much.

Willy B - a gorilla that raised a family at Zoo Atlanta; also a college football stadium that is not actually on a college campus. Weird.

Willy M - a reference to Coach William Muschamp of the Sakerlina Gamecocks; also a rage-o-holic with veins the size of pool noodles in his forehead

Carnie - a Stephen Garcia form of gypsy, quick to anger and awful beards; (also, see below)

Cockfight - regular folk take in a movie or even an off Broadway production, USCjr fans gather around a pit and watch poultry peck each other to death; its as noble an illegal tradition as you can find these days

Fowl - the figurative description of the gamecocks' offense

Born from corndogs, candied apples and ferris wheel lights

The University of South Carolina’s most productive degree program is a bachelor’s of arts in Carniedom, a complex study of ring toss, back roads, and using cotton candy as bait. I mean, how do you think Spurrier found Stephen Garcia? The kid was running The Duck Pond as a 17 year old county fair traveler outside of Spartanburg. The Ol’ Ball Coach gave him a ten, took a swig of his Banquet Beer and said, “Boy, show me whatcha got!”

Carnie Cum Laude

Garcia knocked over nine of ten ducks, missing the last, then got so mad he shoved a funnel cake in some old ladies’ face.

“I like your drive kid.”

Eight months later Garcia had graduated from trading tickets for currency all the way up to funneling Bartles and Jaymes and keying professors’ cars.

He was the classic case of you can take the gypsy wanderer out of the fairgrounds but you can't take the questionable character references out of the carnie.

But where I come from we don’t treat old ladies like trash cans and we don’t find our amusement from cleaning the puke out of the Gravitron. As the song goes, we prefer “cornbread and chicken...and a lotta front porch sittin’.”

A chicken raises too much cain around here we sic ol’ Petey on it and heat up Grandma’s pan of Crisco. As long as Matthew is ready to say grace, we are ready to eat!

End of the slide

All slides end with your ass being reunited with the hard ground. Coach Freeze pushed us to a glide in Oxford and just as we thought we were regaining our composure back in Athens we realized there had been ten more seconds on the clock. So the descent had only just begun.

Now we got former friend and frequent foe William Larry pecking (not chomping) at us for the first time. He wants a fight and that’s exactly what he’s gonna get. I’m frequently reminded when confronted by a lunatic that the less you say the crazier they look. This needs to be the case Saturday night.

Actions speak louder than words. Let em gobble and crow and scratch in the dirt all they want. Let their excitement rise to unfathomable levels just because they have the intestinal fortitude and manual dexterity to wave a towel to some goddamn techno "music". Let’s tackle and block and run. And when we reach the end zone we can look back and smile.

Cuz chicken can taste as good on a Sunday afternoon as it does on a Saturday night. Now, please bow your heads....Dear Lord, please bring peace in Hurricane Matthew's wake and Jazz Hands to Coach Boom's endzone. Amen!

Go Dawgs y'all!

Kirby, Will, and Matthew walk into a blog...

 As we wait...

"We'll play in Columbia, Athens, Atlanta, Clemson,
wherever! Just lemme know and we'll load the bus."

"I smell toast."

Georgia @ South Carolina - a special teams preview

As we watch to see how Hurricane Matthew might impact Saturday's game in Columbia East, and after providing you with some rays of sunshine yesterday, I thought I'd throw some cold water on y'all today.

Special teams have been a big part of Georgia's 3-2 record thus far. And it happens to be an area of the game that could give South Carolina a real boost against the Dawgs Saturday night.

We are 11th in the conference covering kickoffs and they are first in kickoff returns. AJ Turner is a freshman running back for the Gamecocks, and he happens to be second the conference in kickoff returns, averaging 28.43 yards a return. (He also had that 75 yard rushing touchdown on the opening play from scrimmage last week against A&M. The kid is electrifying.)

One thing I've noticed is that while Kirby mentions quite often that he'd like to kick the ball deeper on kickoffs, his real problem with our kickoff coverage is poor tackling. Georgia faced the conference's best last week in Evan Berry. Not much dropoff this week trying to contain Turner.

And then there's this (h/t):

This week's Sansbury Did You See That Play - Sean Kelly fakes a punt and throws it down field to Hayden Hurst for a #Gamecocks first down. pic.twitter.com/Bb89f2oX4f

— Gamecock Athletics (@GamecocksOnline) October 3, 2016

This could absolutely be the get well game the Dawgs need to end a two game skid. But in order for it to be so, discipline on special teams will have to be better than what we've seen thus far.

Chicken inefficiency for the Soul

South Carolina is scoring 14 points per game thus far into the 2016 campaign. That's good for dead last in the SEC, nearly a full touchdown below Vanderbilt.

Sticking with conference rankings, their passing offense is 11th and their running game is last. Comparatively, Georgia is 8th and 7th respectively.

While their passing defense has been very good so far (ranked only behind Florida and Bama), they're next to last in the conference in stopping the run. Opponents are gaining 4.87 yards every time they rush the ball against the Gamecocks.

The Gamecocks only convert 29% of their third downs into first downs, and convert just 64% of their red zone visits into points.

Plus, they've given up 37 (THIRTY-SEVEN!) rushing plays of 10+ yards or more. And they've given up 15 rushing plays greater than 20 yards.

And hey, they're only slightly better than us in giving up sacks! We've given up 15 this season, they've given up 11.

Anyway, thought some of that might help. I expertly glossed over anything statistical I found at cfbstats.com that might be cause for concern. We'll get to that later in the week. Today we need to concentrate on avoiding water cooler talk about anything that may or may not have happened Saturday night, especially in the west endzone.

Good night Offseason, you miserable bastard.

Originally posted at BullDawg Illustrated

Tae Crowder on the first day of fall camp (Photo: Greg Poole/Bulldawg Illustrated)

Two days. The butterflies are tumbling around in your gut and you’re all twitchy with scenarios. What if it comes down to a field goal? What if Nike replaces our uniforms again? What if Chubb misses the bus?

Of course, that last one can’t happen because he’s driving the damn thing. But before the season starts there’s a few things I’d like to deposit here so that once Saturday hits we can fully focus on actual football. Talk is soon over. The toe will meet the leather!

1.It looks like the Indoor Practice Facility will be ready for use before the (potential) bowl game (and if somehow we don’t make a bowl game this season there will be enough hand-wringing and angst to make us all want to go into an early hibernation). So I want to come clean on my record here. I’ve been against it. It’s a waste of money, except on the recruiting trail. You’ve got keep up with the Joneses to impress the 17yo’s these days.

Why am I against it? We could use the money elsewhere, most notably in upgrades to Sanford to make concession lines less daunting and to help the restrooms resemble something newer than 1970’s era urinal lanes. Yes I know the upgrades to Sanford are ongoing, but they’re way overdue. Like, YEARS! But I was also against it because I could envision a day when Richt would get talked into using it just for kicks and giggles. In other words, the IPF would become a toy of convenience for current players instead of just a recruiting enticement for future ones.

I’m not sure I see Kirby being so swayed. Granted it’s still early and we’re all getting to know him, but if we’re preparing for a road trip to Jacksonville and a weather system is preparing to move across the panhandle, I absolutely do not want to read a tweet about the team heading indoors to avoid a few sprinkles. I think Coach Smart is on the same page. But I’ll be watching.

2. Don’t be swayed by anyone trying to convince you that someone other than Jacob Eason will start Saturday. Lambert may play, but he won’t take the first huddle. Ramsey may play, but if so it would be from a punting formation.

3. Also don’t be swayed into believing what many would have you believe when they say North Carolina will be greatly improved on defense. Greatly improved for Chizik’s squad means they’re no longer in the 5th percentile stopping the run. Chubb will have a day. And so will Douglas. And so will Crowder and Herrien. And The Real Deal 2 as well if he can go.

4. Sakerlina plays tonight. Nothing like some junior varsity on a Thursday night. Gonna be nice to crack open a beer and sit out on the porch to watch Agent Muschamp's bulging carotid get 'Dored.

5. Lastly, I know I’m new here so I wanted to give you a couple days notice before my regular Friday pre-game post. It’s not for the faint of heart. I mean, if my pastor reads it he doesn’t mention it to me directly. So I take that as tacit approval as well as full absolution. And if my mom reads it I get text message that is partly a battle against her phone’s auto-correct and mostly a “Listen here boy” lecture. But at it’s roots the Friday Misery’s sole purpose is to set the table and ring the dinner bell.

Sure, a weekly reminder that it’s time to let the Big Dawg eat!

Let’s face it, we spend some of a game week packaging away the previous win or loss and the rest of it worrying about the upcoming Saturday’s matchup not to mention the tailgate plans, and tickets, and injury list, and the lawn that needs to be mowed and that meeting with your kid’s teacher and the injury list again and also whether you’ve been drinking too much coffee. So Friday needs to be spent setting our jaw and getting our minds set and focused on how much we hate the next opponent.

You’ve been warned. Don’t click on it unless the color baby blue makes you purely miserable.

the Friday Misery addresses the red clay on Grandma's rug

In a week of crazy college football news, I'd like to take a moment to address the bastard in the corner.

You see, when someone "resigns", people are naturally inclined to say nice things. They do this for one of two reasons: 1) they like the guy, or 2) the don't like the guy but are super excited to see the asshole leave and want to say something positive in an attempt to show they're the bigger person.

Bull. Shit. Spurrier was, is, and always will be a prick. If you don't think so, tune in tomorrow when he stumps for his own cause on national television under the guise that he just did something selfless for the South Carolina program, all while the team continues to play out the schedule that the ol' ball coach was too scared to face hisownself. And those ESPN dipshits in suits will pucker up for that ass until it gleams brighter than the day Satan birthed him.

The ol' Cock Coach doing his "bend over buddy"
exercises, in perpetuity.

Argue that he's one of the best to ever coach...okay, if you really feel so inclined. Talk about how he revolutionized the forward passing game...hey, I get it if you feel you must. But don't pretend he's a saint when that douchebag would push over your grandma in the express checkout lane if her 16th item was her prescription blood thinner medication.

Coming to grips

The self-loathing is understood. The bickering is to be expected. And the descension in the ranks is all too familiar.

We ain't what we thought we were. That's on us. It's not on Greyson Lambert. It's not on the long concession lines. It's on us. We smiled and waved during every bit of the media hand jerking. We convinced ourselves the gamecocks beat down was something to build upon, only to find out it was just another empty-caloried cupcake.

The sooner we accept the fact that we brought this misery on ourselves the sooner we can stop pretending we have all the answers. 

When all we really have are questions.

Southern hospitality

A brief historical perspective to clarify the here and now...

In this youthful rivalry, the away team has always come out on top. We went out west to witness the first edition and those midwesterns were as accommodating as they were dumbfounded when you asked them why the tea wasn't sweet. They bent over backwards to apologize for the "old man football" comment and they pretended to not care about professional baseball more than college football.

Pinkel in yet another Moment of "Zin"

So cute. Until the next year when we rolled out the red carpet, injured their quarterbacker, then promptly shit the bed. And of course last season back in Columbia Brendan Douglas went head over heels and the paper tigers took the weekend off.

So this being hospitable bullshit ends tomorrow night. I mean, right? These bastards have been geographically misplaced for more than three seasons now. The newness of having a team from way out yonder in the conference has all but worn off, so there's no reason to even go open the door for them. They know where the beer is. Let em get it theirowndamnself. They know to say "Yes ma'am" when they're addressing Mrs. Bernie and they know we don't talk about basketball season before the leaves finish their grand descent.

I hope this message is clear - this ends now. Southern hospitality gives way to tough love tomorrow night. It's like when your cousin Zeke didn't wipe his feet before going into Grandma's house and tracked red clay on her grandma's rug that was the only thing survived that fire back in 18 hundred something and then your Uncle Pete took Zeke out back and gave him a whatfor.

Nothing personal, just the way we do the things we do. Because then Uncle Pete picked ol' Zeke up and helped dust him off, smiled, and said "If you ever leave your goddamn brains by the front door, you better damn well leave your boots there too!"

Gary Robin Pinkel will walk right in here, grab the jug of chardonnay from the fridge, plop down on Grandma's sofa her father bought right before he lost his job in 1929, prop his feet up on the coffee table, loosen his belt, drink straight from the bottle, change the channel to some Lifetime movie, and then lay a fart right there just as you're suggesting he take his feet down please goddammit and thank you.

Don't let Gary Robin Pinkel fart on your grandmother's Depression Era couch. Now, bow your head...Dear Lord, please help us tackle tomorrow as if Zeke is climbing up the steps and reaching for the screen door handle. And also, GOD BLESS CHUBB! Go Dawgs!

Spurrier's fall from grace

I'll miss the bastard on some level. He was good for college football on some level. And you have to admit he always ran a clean program...on some level.

In that sense he should go down as one of the most successful coaches in college football history.

But man I sure am glad we tore that asshole a new one before he jumped ship. 

Humpday Hilarity - OBC slangin' Dr. Peppers

Courtesy of @BassinDawg, a glimpse of Spurrier post-retirement press conference working hard at his new job.

The Gamecock rewatch

Some final notes and observations after watching the televised version yesterday. Let's start the only place you can after that game, with Greyson Lambert.

The only blemish for Lambert on what really was about a perfect a day as a quarterback can have was a few wide open receivers downfield that were missed somehow. I wouldn't even mention it considered the day that Lambert had throwing the ball, except that there have been a few of these a game that he's either not seen or checked into a closer option. My analysis is that he is set on one option pre-snap most of the time (remember, he's only been on campus a couple months).

Otherwise, Lambert was a a machine. Seriously, he never made a questionable throw. Even the one incompletion was a ball thrown where the defender could not make a play on it. The Jay Rome completion was a dart that set up the first touchdown nicely. The back shoulder fade to Mitchell was reminiscent of another #11's signature throw in recent memory. And when Lambert's checks allowed some measure of a pass rush to develop, he appropriately extended the play or tucked it and ran.

In short, Lambert unequivocally shut up the doubters. I think the progressions downfield is something worth keeping an eye on as he continues to mature under quality coaching. But how can you argue against him being the starter on a team that doesn't need a world-beater? Just a smart guy that can make the throws and the handoffs alike.

Onto the bullets:
- The only blemish overall was the kick coverage. I think Morgan only had one kick that wasn't either in the endzone or near it, yet still their returner had gaping holes to choose from as he jaunted toward midfield. We're lucky Morgan was there to plug it up and wrap him up a couple times. A kick return for a touchdown could've changed the mood dramatically.
- This offensive line is a joy to watch. Blackledge and Nessler made mention of their experience. But we've had experienced lines before. These guys are road graders. I guess we'll see how good they are when Alabama comes to town, but they've been a joy to watch the first three games and I think Coach Sale deserves some kudos for how clean Lambert's jersey has been.
- Sounds like the media just caught wind of Ramsey's punt last night since it happened towards the end as the clock was draining. We noticed it in the stands but tv was busy elsewhere I guess to give it much airplay. But when the timeout is called you can clearly see Ramsey mouth to the sideline "You want me to punt it?" The stories that emerged last night mostly attributed it to giving him a live rep in preparation in case he's ever needed to punt. But...you have to think it has at least an added benefit of giving opponents something else to look at.
- And what a nice punt it was!
- Malkom Parrish is a joy to watch. He has a nose for the ball and seems to embrace run defense on the edges so much I'm not sure why teams run to his side. I know I've said that before, but it deserves repeating. I won't compare him to #4, but I have a special place in my heart for defensive backs that play physical on the edges like Champ did.
- Jenkins and Floyd get a lot of the attention (and very much deserved), but Ganus and Kimbrough are earning their own mentions in the middle. The future Mrs. Ganus must've been impressed. :)
- The flags got old, did they not? I thought this crew did as good a job as they could've when the game was getting out of hand from an emotional standpoint. And the targeting call was the right call on the field, at game speed. Then the replay officials rightly overturned it. But a few other flags were excessive or questionable at best. Especially the offsides on the pooch kick.
- On the drive back the wife turned to me and asked, "So, South Carolina is really bad right?" That's a good question and my quick answer was "Yes, yes they are." So there's a word of caution there in getting too excited. I do believe Vanderbilt is better, at least defensively. And we had the added benefit of getting the Gamecocks a week after their quarterback went down. Once that Nunez kid can add some passes to his skillset, they should be much better offensively.

Still, all in all, just a masterful game. Especially for Coach Schottenheimer and his gameplan. Georgia didn't punt until late in the third and only had to face three third downs all night. I guess if you want to pick nits you could point out we only converted one of those. But really, that would be like eating a delicious steak only to complain about the steak knife needing to be sharpened.

Sunday Thoughts on returning the favor

Good God in Heaven that felt nice. A couple decades after he rubbed our noses in it, Coach Richt's team, powered by All-SEC talent and 90+ thousand fans, gives Spurrier and his gamecocks 52 things to ponder deeply over on the ride back to Columbia.

Everyone is on a different level than I've ever experienced as a Georgia fan.

- The fans, both at the game and everywhere else I encounter them, are louder and prouder. And the student section leads the way. On a night that was enjoyable from so many different angles, this might have been my favorite when the students started jumping up and down willy-brice style:

Students mocking Sandstorm. Priceless. #UGA #Dawgs

— Bernie (@BernieDawg) September 20, 2015

- The team is a unit of well-trained gridiron assassins.



- And the coaches are ahead of the game on the field.

Soon I will sit down and rewatch it. From there it will be time to come back down to Earth and focus on the fact that the season is still so young.

But for now, I think I'll spend a few more moments soaking up the scene, the wondrous red and black sights and sounds, that played out before my eyes last evening.

Go Dawgs!

Two keys to frying chicken

1. Manage the game. Spurrier will bring the house and everything it was built on. Then he'll take out a loan on something to bring what you're not expecting. And that's the thing. You HAVE to expect it. Fake kicks, fourth downs, Nunez in the red zone, onside kicks, halfback passes, end arounds, Cooper being used in new and inventive ways, statue of liberty,...anything and everything is fair game. Be ready. Be cognizant. Don't have your head up your ass.
2. Don't turn the ball over. Or in the very least, win the T/O margin.

See y'all in Athens. Go Dawgs!