the Friday Misery doesn't wear chaps

Hey Beevo, keep your dadgum ivoryish bovine protrusions away from our doggy!

steered clear

Seriously, why is that thing on the field? I've heard many raise the question, but have yet to hear a true answer. When Ralphie visited Sanford he was on his best behavior. I don't think his handlers even had to sedate him. I mean he ran on the field without trampling Joe Cox. Thank God!

But if this is the same Texas mascot that was at the Sugar Bowl a few years ago, give him a horse tranq for God's sake!

And I don't even know if Uga is travelling. I sure wouldn't if I were Boom and knew what that ornery two-ton sumbitch tried against Que. Give that good boy a tummy rub and let him just nap through the pre-game from the comforts of the Seiler sofa.

(UPDATE: Charles says Boom will indeed be safe in Savannah this weekend.)

when the secondary is a primary concern

Deeeeep.

Breath.....

Okay, it was uneasy then uncomfortable then unfathomable to watch our secondary get torched time and time again Saturday night. I get it, that was not fun at all. Offense was eating up yards and putting up points, but the defense just couldn't make ol' Missy State quit!

It starts, in my humble never been a tackle football coach's opinion, with the pass rush. I was a little, just a little, too hard on the secondary on Tuesday. Upon further reflection, every time we sent a blitz they had the correct call. And it went for a lot of yards if not a touchdown.

We just couldn't get our hands on the kid. And that starts in the trenches. Tomorrow we have to be able to generate a push and at least get some hands in Ewers' face. We made Miss State one-dimensional early. They wanted to run the ball, but we wouldn't let them.

Here's a dude that can GATA!

And while that eventually turned on us when they started to pass, we need to do the same tomorrow night. Yes, it's hard when Mykel isn't 100%. It's hard with Mondon sidelined. But these kind of games are won up front.

Now everybody...yes, even you pea brains in the back still whining about Kirby's forearm shiver. Let's all get into a three point stance...that's it...get your ass down Poindexter! Okay, now. Right arm up ready to chop wood, and...GET AFTER THEIR ASS!!

egos are especially bigger in texas

Gather around longhorns, and put your 10 gallon learning caps on. You are officially in the SEC now, so you have to act right. Yes, even though you were named after a steakhouse chain. And no, most of us don't want you around here anyway. And it's not because we're afraid of you. No, the decisions were and are made above our paygrade.

So listen here, stop whining every time an opposing fan gives you the horns down. Yes, we know it hurts your feelings and we saw when the Big12 front office enabled you like a green-faced toddler that doesn't wanna eat strained peas.

Grow a pair. Instead of putting a replica of a bull's scrotum on your trailer hitch, try loosening your girly chaps and find your own set. This is the SEC son! We can joke about Vandy "blowing the Admiral", and Carolina's choking chicken, and still have some modicum of respect for each other. Yes, we bark at perfect strangers. Yes, Florida claps like the graduating class for the directionally challenged. Missouri goes on the road...to play UMass! And don't get me started on Tennessee's Tour de Franzia or their depressing locker room mantra:

Narrator voice: "It was true. It could not be found."

Taunting, trash talk, turning Parliament Funkadelic's P-Funk hand signal upside down...it's all part of the fan experience. It's expected. It's understood. (And yes, I understand Auburn is more of an exception. But trust me, they're worse than a toddler with strained peas in his ears.)

Now, proudly pat that SEC patch on your jersey and understand you are now playing in the ELITE playground. No more plastic primary colored fake shit. I'm talking solid wood foundation with steel bars. I guess what I'm saying is, if the slide in our playground doesn't chap your ass, then an inverted set of fingers shouldn't either.

Let's all circle up and pray...take off your cap and let's see your pretty-boy haircut Arch! There we go...Lord, please protect these men tomorrow night as we continue to pray and look for ways to support hurricane victims across the southeast. And please, pleeeeaase! Let us get Ewers jersey dirty. Even after 8:50pm. Because we know it's ALWAYS 10 TO 9 IN TEXAS!! AMEN and Go Dawgs!

Bonus - this week's 4th & 3 Dudes episode

National landscape, week seven

Waters are becoming less muddy I guess. And now that we're in the thick of it, and despite knowing that some two and maybe even three loss teams will make the playoffs, it sure feels like some one loss teams need to prove their worth.

1. Texas (bye)
2. Oregon (bye)
3. BYU (bye)
4. Clemson (bye)
   
5. Ohio State (hosts)
6. Georgia (hosts)
7. Alabama (hosts)
8. Texas Tech (hosts)
9. Notre Dame
10. LSU
11. Penn State
12. Boise State

The biggest game of the weekend brought us the best game of the season. The Ducks outlasted the Buckeyes and have solidified their bye week, at least for now. To round out the Big10 I kept Ohio State at 5 and dropped Penn State down to 11.

The Big12 has three undefeated teams in BYU, Texas Tech, and Iowa State. I'm keeping BYU as the conference winner, kept Texas Tech at 8, and considered letting Iowa State in. I've felt like Utah would play themselves back into contention, but their loss to Arizona State Friday night is gonna leave them hunting for a bowl game. BYU (probably) has the easiest path to a bye week in the playoffs. But along with Texas Tech and Iowa State, I think Kansas State and Arizona State are in contention.

ACC...each week I feel Clemson stakes a better claim than Miami. We'll see if the Tigers can hold it together.

ACC Lite...will it be Notre Dame's last week in the standings? They have trips to GA Tech and then Navy in the next two weeks. Win those as well as a 11/23 home game against Army and they may just survive that home loss to the Salukis.

Boise State Cruised through Honolulu, and they may very well keep cruising all the way to their season finale against Oregon State. As a reminder, the Broncos' only loss is to Oregon, by a field goal.

Lastly, the SEC. The only real change was swapping Ole Miss for LSU. I still feel it's more likely the SEC gets just three teams in the playoff bracket. Texas seems the only shoe-in. Bama is on a couple shaky wheels, and it's hard to believe LSU is good enough defensively to carry them into a playoff bid.

And with our Dawgs, the next month's gauntlet will prove we're deserving, or not.

Anyway, as always, we close this weekly post with this: Those are at least some intriguing matchups in Round 1. $till not $old on making the $ea$on thi$ long. But I'd watch, and I gue$$ that'$ why they expanded, right?

Digesting Miss State

Let's start with the bad. Our secondary was exposed. To be fair, we couldn't develop a pass rush after we made them a one-dimensional offense. But every time we committed to a blitz, our secondary couldn't stand up to the task.

Burnt toast!

So it was nice to see Ellis Robinson gets some snaps late in the game. The true freshman may need to grow up fast if we are to challenge the meat of our schedule starting Saturday night in Austin.

The good. The offense found a groove. Carson trusted his playmakers downfield. That rollout where he flung it to the endzone and Dillon Bell caught it for the touchdown...that's what we've been waiting to see. The screens and check downs are still there, but our offense used the entire field Saturday which was nice to see.

The short of it is this: we're not the team we were hoping for. It was discouraging to give up so many long passes and touchdowns. Mississippi State is not a good football team and they're depending on a true freshman quarterback. Have seen a lot of people lament on Muschamp not being on our sideline any longer. But I prefer Brooks' point:

I answer this question as Kamari Lassiter, Javon Bullard, and Tykee Smith are in the midst of starting for yet another week in their rookie seasons.

The harsh reality is… you aren’t as good because you aren’t as good.

I’ll get more into the answers on tape this week. https://t.co/oyT0gJwVE7

— Brooks Austin (@BrooksAustinBA) October 13, 2024