Jeff Schultz is right, this time.

Like you, I’ve been following and subsequently been confused by this Natrez Patrick affair. The facts are: 1) he’s known as much for being in the wrong pot at the wrong time as much as he is for making tackles, 2) the charges following the SECCG were dropped, 3) he subsequently both passed and failed a drug test, and 4) UGA is playing coy about his future.

Yesterday, the AJC’s most prolific pontificator since Terence Moore left town, Jeff Schultz weighed in. Schultz was his usual pompous, arrogant, click bait self. He pretended to know facts that he can’t possibly presume to know. He used the term “Bulldog Justice” with an air of both a thumb aside his nose and another up his ass.

VIA

But, he’s also right.

UGA shouldn’t let Patrick play any more games with a G on his helmet. The dude has a problem and not the least of it is that he puts smoking pot above playing for the University that you and I hold dear. He’d rather continue to get caught in the wrong place at the wrong time than increase our team’s chance at winning. Or more personally, he’d rather take chances around random marijuana leaves, however minuscule, than potentially increase his draft stock this spring.

There’s one thing I do know. And that is that Patrick has one game, potentially two games left at UGA. He’s moving on to the NFL regardless after this season. We can pretend that it’s to further his game and play at the next level. But the truth is that, from what we’ve witnessed, it’s more likely that he’s moving on to be able to afford a better strain of weed.

To allow him to play in the Rose Bowl is to give him a pass. He won’t learn and at best he’ll go on to be an average player that continues to put a chance to smoke weed above being a team player. At worst he puts all that above being a good man, son, dad, human being.

Sit him down and the stakes go up. He is forced to answer tougher questions. He is forced to show he can put football above his next toke on the pipe. He’s forced to re-evaluate his life decisions. He’s forced to become a man.

This isn’t a political issue. I’m not for pot legalization and I’m not against it. I’m glad the Barrow county charges were dropped because they were bullshit, to be perfectly honest. This isn’t a football issue either. Life is bigger than football. 

This is a personal issue. Kirby has a chance to help both his player and the program. What does every other player that practices hard and puts the team first learn if Natrez plays in Pasadena?

Yes, we are the new Georgia. We signed on for this and Kirby has us at the precipice of something special. But the truth is we don’t need Natrez Patrick to beat Oklahoma any more than we needed him during the games he was suspended. We can still be bigger than the issue, the lawyers, the newsprint, and the charges that #6 has brought to the spotlight.

We’re still Georgia. We can win with players that truly want to play football. And if I’m being perfectly honest, I’m not convinced Natrez Patrick really wants to play football.

Sunday Thoughts on getting past these awful hurt feelings

Damn. Does your backside hurt as much as mine this morning?

Everything is still in front of us. Go to Atlanta and win the damn thing, all of the other stuff falls in place. So there’s that. I mean, it was kinda cool having that “#1” tag beside our name for a while and having everybody talk about us like we could do things like stop the run and block and tackle ball carriers, not to mention make half time adjustments and also remember to get the team off the actual bus with their heads on straight.

But it was also awkward if you want to know the truth,

Kirby is right, this team will be defined by how it responds to this setback. Big game left at Sanford, especially for the seniors that came back for this season. Then an in-state rivalry game that we pissed away last year. Focus on those two one at a time and let each rep, each whistle in practice motivate you.

Because yesterday was quite obviously a team loss. It wasn’t just the players and it wasn’t just the coaches. We all got beat, very handily. Regroup and refocus without the attention that comes with being the number one team in the nation.

The fact of the matter is that currently we aren’t the team we thought we were. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be yet.

I’d love to play Auburn again. I’d also love the chance to play Alabama. But right not we all just need to focus on Kentucky and beating the snot out them like we should. We need to focus on not drawing selfish penalties. We need to focus on a better game plan. And quite honestly, we need to focus on being a better home crowd than we were when the Gamecocks visited a couple weeks ago.

Because whether you like it or not...whether you are still stewing over yesterday’s debacle...we’re still in this together.

Go Dawgs!

(Now if you’ll excuse me I’d like to go back to bed...)

Greg McGarity is the Michael Scott of athletic directing

The Office icon was a humorously ineffective leader that managed to stumble around his own blunders long enough to sell ads for NBC. The head honcho of Butts-Mehre's blunders aren't funny. At all. More like a really bad record that skips to its worst part over and over again.

I think HooDawg and Blutarsky are right, In these days and times with UGA Athletics there's so much to live for and also be enormously frustrated about that it's confusing. It's frustrating. It's sad and it's depressing.

It's confusing.

McGarity should bear the brunt of that ball of emotions. His hiring record is not up to SEC standards and he's about to hire yet another gymnastics coach (and likely a baseball coach as well). His public relations skills are worse than early pre-WWI editions of socialist propaganda, mainly because they lack the public censorship necessary to drive the points home. Which is to say that once he realizes he's disenfranchised a large enough percentage of donors he'll sit down with someone at the AJC and clumsily pull a shiny quarter out of his pocket.

The problem is that not enough people are calling McGarity on it. Bloggers and active social media users can vent, and the media will reference our discontent enough to get that quarter back out of Gregory's dockers, but for the most part I get the sense that there's a wait and see philosophy amongst the higher ups.

Maybe everyone's hoping Kirby can break the ceiling again; if the Sky Suite wallets are happy the Scranton office of Dunder Mifflin can keep on selling paper. Or maybe McGarity has compromising pictures of somebody. If so, I wish said somebody would find a way to burn that evidence so that the rest of us can move on.

I don't know what exactly it is that keeps Greg from forced retirement. However, I do know that, administratively speaking, leadership is lacking in UGA's athletic office. McGairty has proven he's not Jeremy Foley, as we once wished when he was hired to replace Damon Evans. In fact, our AD is so far from that level of competence it leads me to believe that McGarity spent all his time during Florida's hey-days making paper clip chains and jamming the Xerox machine...again.

UGA alumni and supporters can continue to turn their heads, but eventually that practice leads to trouble.

Kirby is recruiting at a level that could break that ceiling. Even if he does there's no amount of McGarity propaganda that can convince me that his "search firm" made the decision in Kirby's favor. Should we let this man continue to make important decisions about the other coaching hires, the facilities, whether or not two trash receptacles are enough for a gameday weekend in the Fall, just how full the UGAA ca$h coffers should be, and whether or not he should be so bold and brazen to...I don't know...pick up the phone and call Greg Sankey to say something along the lines of "Hey! Enough with the noon games goddammit!!"

I was lucky enough to attend the annual Terry College of Business Gala the other night. As we waited for friends to arrive we noticed many faces of UGA prominence, in the business, administrative and athletic fields. (The wife even finally got a picture with Sean Bailey!)

My point is that you tend to take notice of people of importance as soon as they enter a room. There's a shift in the air movement, and if you miss that sign you surely notice other heads turning. "Hey, there's Dan Cathy. Yep, that's President Morehead."

Then...there he was. He slipped in practically unnoticed all the way through check in and was putting on his name badge. "Hmmph, there's McGarity."

We need a leader for an athletic director. Instead we have a limp dish rag. And the only ones laughing at these jokes are our rivals.

Love...true love...should be reciprocated.

McGarity would like us to know that he hears us.

The state of the bathrooms has been criticized, as well as long concession lines and other areas of complaint. McGarity, whose initial response when that was brought up two weeks ago didn’t please some fans, made clear Thursday that he hears them. 

“It’s important to us.,” he said “We’ve made strides. Have we made enough strides, no. Is it important to us, yes. And I think the message that we’d like to convey is that it’s a huge deal for us.”

I can guarantee you that I've stood in those long concession lines and waded through the "water" in the restrooms MANY more times than AD McGarity. But, it's not a "huge" deal to me. I mean if I'm being honest, it's something I have to deal with just a few times a year. So how can it be a "huge" deal to him and the other penny pushers in Butts-Mehre?

You're right. I need to stop picking nits. But what's so damn frustrating is that despite all the calls and emails McGarity has undoubtedly received since the Sanford Stadium expansion news came out a couple weeks ago (and kudos to Bill King by the way for this excellent follow up that I believe really drives the point home) is that I remain wholeheartedly unconvinced that he nor anyone else with decision making power in the athletic office understands any of us.

Hearing what someone is saying, or reading what they've typed at you is easy. Understanding those words requires true public relations and moderate or better empathetic powers.

This past season I missed just one home game and attended two away games. That's about standard for me actually. For those of you that make the trek to see the Dawgs play understand that the decision to do so can be compartmentalized into two categories - tailgate experience and game experience.

"Wooo boy you should see the size of my reserve fund!"

I love watching Georgia play football. Despite it's drawbacks and inadequacies, Sanford's still the best place to be on a Saturday in the Fall. (And again, for those of you that also make the trek, I hope you've been following Silver Britches Blog's recent series about bringing glory back to Sanford. I sure wish McGarity would...) But a big reason I like to go to Athens is to see old friends and be on campus with them again. Share some food and drink and catch up...it's as simply southern as you can get and it always scratches me right where I itch.

I would imagine you feel similar if not the same dear Reader. But what have we gotten lately? If I get up really early I can get to the tailgate in enough time for a brief "How's ya mama and them?", a couple beers to chase the bloody mary, and then hurry off to see another noon kick. "Oh, and for your troubles here's a shitty pretzel and a half-filled cup of Coca-Cola. Yes, the 1970's era urinal stand is around the corner. Follow the smell!"

And that's why we're upset. That's the point Bill King made so well in that post and that's the point Silver Britches is making with their posts on Sanford Stadium upgrades. Why can't Sanford Stadium be in the upper echelon of collegiate tackle football venues for ALL involved - the coaches, the players, the recruits, the mamas of recruits, the sky suite denizens, the referees, the grandmamas of recruits, as well as us...you, and me, the average fan? 

UGAA has the money. So what everyone is wondering is why not make all the changes that need to be made so that everyone can be happy on Saturdays in the Fall?

In many ways, it'd be so much easier to invite some friends over and tailgate at the house. You'd save a lot of money, get the convenience of a modern toilet, and see the game in high definition. "Oh, and for your troubles you get to spend the day feeling appreciated rather than as an after thought."

Because that's what McGarity's version of Butts-Mehre gives us - after thoughts. "Ladies and Gents, look at these amazing upgrades that're coming to Sanford!" Two weeks later, sitting down with an AJC writer,"Of course we care about [insert latest list of latest gripes and grievances]. Here's what we are planning and by the way here's the obstacles that we've had to deal with."

Like Bill said, we find Georgia football hard to give up. It's entrenched in our hearts and minds. The suits should care about that, right? More and more each year it feels like a one-sided relationship.

Sunday thoughts on the fourth quarter

The game was in hand. The players had made plays and the coaches had called a good game. We were running the ball well and the defense was limiting the triple option's effectiveness.

The game was in hand. And then it was not.

Sure, we can point to a bad pass, a drop, or a missed tackle. But that loss is 100% on the coaches. We got away from what was working and paid mightily for it. Hell, the third quarter was masterful as we stepped on them and opened up a thirteen point lead.

For 50 minutes Kirby and his staff had the better plan and the better adjustments. The last ten minutes was a clinic in what not to do to close out a ball game.

On a larger scale, I'm really disappointed because it seemed we had turned a corner. It seemed as if things were starting to click between a young coaching staff and their young players. It really just puts me at a loss for words.

I'm glad this season is over. And it makes me sad to type that.

Friday Misery - old fashioned cocktail party

One part ice. Two parts bitters. Two parts ginger syrup. Four parts bourbon.

Now. Let's do this.

Prelude

Washed ashore on the northern bank of the St. Johns river, I was dizzy and disoriented. Twice I attempted to rise, just to my knees, but gravity easily overpowered me and my face came crashing back down to Earth.

As I lay there, exhausted and despondent, I thought to myself, “This is what losing three of four feels like.” The shame was just too thick to slice through and even days later the memories would not relent.

Botched assignments. Overblown egos. Poor execution. Laziness. Poor decisions.

We had embraced the wrong tenets and got caught believing better of ourselves. Against inferior opponents you can sometimes survive, but not on a day when they wanted it so much more. So I was left to drift listlessly towards the next destination, the next moment of judgment, with nothing to tend to my wounds except time and the marsh water of the River’s lower basin.

Night was falling. In the distance I could hear the motorized sounds from the expressway. But I could not see the lights because my eyes had grown too heavy.

“Goddamn Vanderbilt,” was my last thought before I passed out.

Down. But not out.

By dawn the realization that this territory was not unchartered only intensified. The pain continued to be persistent, but hope can be an incredible analgesic.

And I saw you there too, as well as the others. As the Sun crested over Exchange Island we realized our strength in numbers. We were fortified by our position. I looked deep into your eyes and you mine, and we both saw a familiar resolve.

Chubb’s knee. Gurley and AJ benched. Third and Grantham. Fourth and Willie. The Independence Bowl. 2008 Blackout. Quincy in Columbia. Kevin Ramsey’s year. Ray Goff minus 1993.

We have seen some shit man. We have traversed this rickety bridge. To just stop and not move forward is to give up. You, me, Kirby, his players, we’re just not wired that way. To see the top we must endure the cold, dark valley.

Better days are ahead and these struggles will only make them that much sweeter. So we dust ourselves off and set our bearings. There is much work to be done.

The sweet salve of a WLOCP win.

Yes, some have chosen not to bear arms. The fight has lost them and they are no longer propelled to join our side. They’re the same ones that missed Nat Hudson throwing that block in 1980. Lindsay ran and ran, but not before their eyes. Instead they sobbed quietly in a corner after shutting the television off.

They know not how to see a fight through to the end. Their drawers are too tight and their grits are watery. Whether that is a result of their own personality flaws or poor parental influence when they were younger, is not our place to dwell in. Perhaps they only chewed crayons in kindergarten instead of their teacher showing them the beauty that could come forth from the waxy, vivid Crayola box.

Their only hope is that we circle the wagons in their absence. Have mercy they just need to be turned toward the light!

There was a point in time when players like Bobo, Edwards, Smart, and Champ decided they were just goddamned tired of taking the beating. No one gave those guys a chance against a Spurrier team that was the defending national champion and reloaded with talent. But those Dawgs didn’t back down and they certainly didn’t worry about those that had given up on them.

Same can be said of the 2004 team, as well as the teams in 2007 and 2012. They weren’t worried about Florida’s ranking and their streak in Jacksonville. They didn’t bother with supporters who had left their team’s colors at the bottom of the laundry pile. They didn’t concern themselves with fanatics that had only become fanatical about bitching and moaning more than hunkering down and Glory Glory.

Brothers, sisters...the fight continues on tomorrow. Together we cross onto Gator Bowl Blvd and populate the lots along Duval and Tallyrand. Many others will join us in spirit, a cocktail in their hand and some grit left in their belly. We’ll join hands and we’ll watch the team bus approach. We’ll embolden those players’ attitude and we’ll pledge our support through to the end.

We must focus on that which is within our control, which means recognizing that the very vocal minority may not be swayed. But that doesn’t mean that our colors change. It doesn’t mean that we can’t pump our fists into the cool evening air when Sony Michel battles for a first down. It doesn’t mean that we can’t enjoy the absolute pleasure of being a Georgia Bulldog fan on a Saturday night.

Because win or lose, it is an absolute pleasure. Having endured so many losses together, we can stomach the possibility of one more while summoning forth the very voice intent on preventing it.

As Larry Munson and God as my witness, I look forward to looking back on the banks of the St. Johns tomorrow and smiling. Together we washed ashore broken and battered. And together we will walk away having seen players like Lorenzo, Atkins, Payne, Sony, and Chubb experience the utter joy of winning in Jacksonville.

Finally. Again. Go Dawgs y’all!

Now, let us pray...dear Lord please protect us from this enemy race and let the ice in our drinks have the will of Nat Hudson and the fortitude of Robert Edwards. First downs for Glory! Amen.

Remember. We're now "those" fans. Act like it.

Just as we're beyond tired of the ill-gotten 2007 Alabama analogy, I'm also tired of one other talking point that I'm hearing a lot this season, but especially after Saturday's loss.

But first I want to say that losing to Vanderbilt at home in no way completely sours my view of the program's direction. I believe the change we made last December, while it may not have come due in my eyes at the time, was what was best for all involved. Kirby can get us there, but we knew it wasn't going to happen overnight.

That said, since we made the change, using phrases like "Calm down, it's going to take some time" or "Hey, Kirby just needs some more players" is way off the mark.

Once we said ten wins wasn't good enough we became that program. We became the fans that expect to win each and every Saturday. So losing to Vanderbilt does not and should not evoke a sense of calm. Mostly because even though Kirby may not have all the players he needs to get us to Atlanta, he certainly has enough of them to win that game Saturday.

Many are expecting to lose to Florida. I get that. Losing three of the last four games will do that to you. But it's not in my makeup and I doubt it's the kind of mindset that a true championship program would tolerate much.

The bar has been set high and we need to get used to seeing it up there above our fingers yet still desperately reaching to grasp a hold. Kirby knew this when he took the job and he'd probably be the first to tell you that the time is now. It's Attack the Day not Get ready to attack in another couple years...hopefully.

In short, we're still a winning program that aspires to be a championship program. The difference is that ten months ago we pushed all our chips to the center of the table. So it's a new era. We need to start acting like it.

Sunday Thoughts on being seated on the short bus

Yes, the play call on 4th and short where we ignore the fact that we have the nation's best running back and toss it to the smallest kid in D1 football...that sucked.

But that's not what lost us that game.

Wow! We found new and exciting ways to get penalized! Ways I've never even heard of before!

But that's not why we can't stop gnashing our teeth.

Yes, giving up three billion yards on that screen pass on their last drive was as frustrating a play as I've ever witnessed.

But that's not what made us lose to Vanderbilt on Homecoming.

Yes, unimaginably giving precious seconds, no minutes, back in time management absolute brain farts was indescribably idiotic.

But that's not why we kicked ourselves in the balls yesterday for 60 minutes of a tackle football game with Vanderbilt University only to lose by one point.

Special. Teams.

We went into Sanford yesterday having been told that the 'Dores were as bad if not worse than we were in special teams.

And Lawd Have Mercy did we prove we're the worst there! Sure, we have found ourselves a placekicker as Rodrigo was most certainly a player of the game for us. But we can't cover kicks...we can't cover punts...we can't use half a brain and let the ball go out of bounds on a kickoff and instead decide to let the offense start on our own 2 yard line...we can't do anything special or even remotely close to Beamer Ball.

Shane Beamer can't even spell Beamer Ball.

Special Teams is why we lost yesterday. The defense gave up 171 yards, two and a half of which came on Vandy's first scoring "drive" thanks wholeheartedly to...you guessed it! Special Teams!

Yes, kids. This is what it feels like to lose to Vandy. At home. On Homecoming.

It's ugly and it pits our own fans against each other because we're all just so goddamn miserable. But what matters now is Jacksonville. What matters now is washing that stink off our backs and learning how to cover a damn kickoff. What matters now is recognizing that when the game is on the line the goddamn football needs to be in 27's hands.

Jesus. It's not rocket surgery and yes I know a coaching change comes with its inherent growing pains. But Holy Hell, did Chubb really fight all the way back from the most devastating knee injury I've ever seen to watch 16 get dragged down to the turf like a rag doll a full yard short?

Players play and coaches coach. Draw a line in the sand and let's play some damn football!

the Friday Misery is cocaine, cheese, and baby blue free y'all!

Yes, we’re back. New era. Newly constructed knee. Newly constructed quarterback controversy. Newly invented SEC East favorite Tenersee VLOLS!! Newly prepped tailgate gear. New gameday wear. New pitcher of kool-aid, and a new pitcher of reality tonic. New blackout date set! And fresh tots for your lunchroom plate!

But, of course, it's the same old Misery.

Carolina history lesson, the crib notes version: Follow these directions for me real quick: open up your Google machine thingiemadoohickie and type these words into the search bar - north carolina football traditions. (now, be sure and add the “north” to the beginning of your search or else you gonna step right into some chickenshit that we’ll save for later in October.) Okay, now click on the first link which as of the typing of this post was a 247Sports “article” outlining the Tarheels’ top five football traditions. Now, let’s dive in!

1. At first the Tarheels’  own “4th Quarter Hype” reads similar to our Krypton Fanfare to start the fourth quarter. But then you get here…”Everyone then moves their arms back and forth, almost like a Seminole chop, signifying the end for the opposition.” Wait, so one of your top five traditions can only be described by mentioning one of your conference rivals? Uh, that’s just too cute baby blues! Then this... “The video board shows highlights of the team. It is impossible to not get excited.” Okay, try me.
2. This next one uses their video board again, but this time to remind fans and opposing visitors of all the past Tarheel greats…”Fans love seeing the faces of some of the all-time Carolina greats such as Jeff Saturday, Julius Peppers, T.J. Yates, and Giovanni Bernard.” Excuse me, but wasn’t Lawrence Taylor a Tarheel?

Awww hell...

Okay, enough of that exercise. Here’s what we know as fact: they once had a coach with a cool name like Carl Torbush. That’s a tackle football coaching name right there. Say it with me...Carl TORbush! If your coach is named TORbush you tackle a damn ball carrier to the ground or you don’t bother going back to the sideline for fear of the TORBUSH WRATH.

But UNC fired him and replaced him with a guy that has a baseball coach’s name - John Bunting. There is absolutely NO goddamn bunting in football. None. The equivalent of bunting in football is punting...from the 30...your OWN damn thirty. That’s just weak. Very extremely weak. Very.

And now they wear a fedora. He's the one that has that cute new fangled offense with the pretty pass protection and the quick screens. Buncha gus bus finesse bullshit if you ask me.

Which is why we run the damn ball. Look it, this norcareliner defense is like a colander. And not the one made of iron that weighed twenty-eight pounds and your grandma used for forty years through both the Great Depression to drain navy beans as well as through the second World War to make the neighbors a warm, home-cooked meal while the men were off shooting goddamn Nazis out of the sky. No this is a colander you buy at a Dollar Store and you get change back and then it melts because the water is too hot and it’s made of plastic. Very, very thin plastic.

Yep, there are holes all through it. Both the small holes that were there when it was manufactured as well as larger ones that are the result of shitty coaching by grown men wearing baby blue pants with matching baby blue blouses. And they refer to their clothes as outfits. Yes...outfits. So effin' cute!

Whatever helps you get through your miserable day cupcake.

So for us it’s not rocket surgery. You hand the ball off and chew that clock and wear their sorry Zinfandel ass out before the end of the first half.

Home...away from actual home. No Athens tomorrow. Sorry. We’ll have to wait another week. But we ain’t going far; this is still SEC country. Forget that the game is played in Tech’s backyard. The last time we lost to those pansies in Atlanta I was still in school and George Bush was president...yes, Daddy Georgia Bush. Because NO! As a matter of fact I don’t recognize that “loss” in 1999 because Jasper’s knee was down goddammit! Between the moment his knee hit the turf and that Al Ford bastard blew his disdainful whistle George O’Leary had time to add three bullet points and two more degrees to his resume.

Yet I digress...

"Why can't our power forward tackle 27??"

This is the landscape where basketball remains a backdrop until January, dammit! Football is our hard tack and bourbon is what forces it down the gullet. Meanwhile in Chapel Hill…

“Oh dear Percival. I must say these Georgia Bulldogs are rather braggadocious with their barking and other animalistic behaviors that I’ll spare mention of in front of our better halves. Would you like that I procure another pound of Beaufort D’ete for our pregame table? Nothing charges the ole gridiron battery like a gruyere and a mellow merlot for good measure! I say!!”

WTF? Seriously. What. The. F**k? Look, I know about as much about french cheese as I do UNC’s African and Afro-American Studies Program. Which is to say if I could throw a ball in Chapel Hill I could get an A in the course. And to be fair, I didn’t know Jim Harrick Jr. had the credentials to teach the subject. But I do know that you can’t let these sissyass-britches come up in here and pretend to be superior when they’ve been handing out A’s for decades to point guards and wide receivers that are now selling Toyota Carollas all the way from Raleigh to Wilmington.

But that’s none of my business because the NCAA certainly isn’t interested...

Instead we need to set our own table. And the perfectly blunt assessment after an entire offseason is this table is a GOTdamn mess. Most of y’all wanted to start the meal with a fork and the rest feel safer with a knife. That’s all fine and good except you seem to have forgotten that YOU WILL EAT THIS GODDAMN MEAL THE WAY THAT COACH KIRBY SMART TELLS YOU TO!

I don’t care if he puts my old English 102 professor in the first huddle tomorrow. Yes, the fancy dude with the starched pinstripe button down and the matching navy sweater with the sleeves cuffed. Yes, talk about Mr. McPrissy Britches. But you know what? Never saw him wear baby blue. Never saw him draw up some weak ass screen pass when his running back was gaining six yards a clip.

And I damn sure never saw him wear a fedora.

The point is you, me, my mailman, the guy at the office that reheats fish for lunch in the microwave, the kids’ algebra teacher, the lady in the produce section at Kroger back in March that saw your Georgia cap and decided to weigh in with her thoughts on Jacob Eason, and also the guy at the beach this summer that cornered you for a half hour next to the low tide to explain away his expertise in tackle football...none of us...NONE of us know shit.

While he's smacking a damn gator Kirbs says,"Time is short 
so I'll get right to the point...support your
team asshole. Be a team player or GTFO!!"

We’re all the same damn people that cheered with joy when we heard Schottenheimer was gone. And we’re the same damn people that nodded our heads in approval when Coach Smart hired Jim Chaney. So what’s changed? Really, what makes us think we can dictate which quarterbacker takes the field first? What makes me more qualified than an actual real life footballing coach? These guys haven’t even taken the sideline in their first game with a McG signed paycheck, yet we can’t help but second guess them like we wrote the damn book on how to wear a headset in the SEC.

“But...but Eason played so well at #93KDay Bernie!”

STFU dumbass. He also didn’t need to worry about getting his ass sacked either. Your own tired ass could complete a pass or two if you had anywhere between seven and twenty seconds to step into one.

Please. I’m sick of it. Let’s stop sniffing the Krazy Glue tube and start acting like we have just an ounce of goddamn sense. Jesus. Put down the tweeter and pick up your dignity while I stop bitching and start barking. It’s time y’all. It. Is. TIME!

No (zero, none, nada) more days left on the countdown calendar. No more hours left to pick our own damn butts.

The Tarheels are coming. We need to put a fat ass red clay stain on those baby blues. Go Damn Dawgs!

Now, let us bow our heads… Dear Lord God Almighty and your Southern Saint Lewis Grizzard, please don’t let these northerners slander our grits and unsweeten our tea pitchers. Give Mr. Chubb gaping holes a’plenty and let our kickers be true. Amen.

Go Dawgs y’all!

Karma, kiss my ass.

Look, I've been doing this blog here since September 2008. And we have nothing to show for it except some misguided clicks, poor spelling, swear words galore, and a couple of "gator" bowls.

So...if a little change brings unprecedented prosperity, then...well, I deserve some measure of credit.

(Not really. I know I'm just some asshole with a keyboard...)

Anyway, let's try something completely different. And see what happens!

"You'll shoot your eye out kid!"

So news broke of Julian Rochester and Chad Clay getting arrested on felony counts of having a weapon in a school zone and criminal damage to property, and we immediately wonder how Smart's Law Enforcement Jimmy Williamson Appreciation Day went so wrong.

But UGA emailed the press shortly after mentioning that it was a BB gun the two freshmen were toying with that lead to the trouble.

My first thought, did I ever have a BB gun while matriculating in Athens? Too long ago to remember. But connecting the dots in this story I'm sure if I did have one I never used it to shoot at something in between study sessions for Poli Sci 101.

My second thought leads to punishment. Smart said that details are still emerging. But you can expect Tracy Rocker is more than fed up about his defensive linemen getting into trouble. Hell, he may go so far as to make Rochester wear Aunt Clara's bunny suit on the sidelines against North Carolina.

Julian reflects on his Red Ryder
carbine-action, 200 shot, range model air
rifle with the compass in the stock.

Unpacking the Richt firing

I have a great way to honor the Coach Richt Era of Georgia Bulldog football. I should have it ready late today or tomorrow. Not sure you'll enjoy it as much as I have putting it together. But it has certainly helped me focus on his importance to this program, both on and off the field.

Because of the format I'm using for that post, some things I wanted to say are getting left out. But they're important enough to bring up as I sift through social media, my own feelings, and my own experiences.

First off, the only people that can piss me off more than gator fans, are Georgia "fans" that won't even acknowledge facts. It's like they're so caught up in specific stats (and to be perfectly fair, their own factual evidence) and their own viewpoint, that they can't even recognize what this man meant to the program and the University and the community. You would think that they'd all be new to Georgia, but some of these guys are my age. They should remember what it felt like to lose to Auburn consistently and lose three in a row against Tech. I mean, you'd think Mark Richt kicked their puppy or something.

Next, and here's where I think I'm truly in a minority, you can support the program first and foremost while also believing that Richt shouldn't have been fired. I see all these Facebook groups and Twitter accounts that, at least on the very surface, represent a group of people that put the man himself above the program. That's as dangerous as it is wrong. Don't get upset that Richt was let go just because you love the man. Look, I love him too. But he ain't hurting. We've made him wealthy beyond his dreams and he's going to make some other program better off and the world a better place too. Get upset if you're like me and feel that after what he's built, the man had earned the chance to see at least one more season of full financial and administrative support. More importantly, we had earned the chance to see that.

Last, is anyone else feeling down about how this played out and saying goodbye to someone you've grown to admire for the last decade and a half, yet excited about the future? I don't care if I'm alone there as well. But if you feel that way too, I want you to know that's okay as well.

Hey y'all, Go Dawgs!

Discussions on the table

Repeat after me..."Program first. Always."

So much temptation to spout off about "December decisions". So much gravy there y'all. But, there's a game this week. I don't care if it's Richt last game, next to last, or the next of a hundred more. Let's join hands and focus together.

They beat us last year. That was awful. Remember?

The AJC's Mark Bradley, Jeff Shultz, and Paul
Johnson celebrate 'tween the hedges.

Discussions not on the table until at least supper time Saturday:

1. Schoddy gotta go! Sure, I was just talking about how this is Richt's worst hire since he promoted fourth and Willie. But we can talk about this later. Trust me. TRUST ME! Refocus point: how can we move the ball against this terrible defense? Is Keith Marshall finally healthy? Does our schoddy OC have the stones to bend ol' turkey neck over and make him gobble?
2. Pruitt is done. Defense has played lights out of late. Let's just turn our heads away from whatever it was he may or may not have done last month and focus on stopping this vaunted option offense. Refocus point: how can we create turnovers for our schoddy offense? How can Leonard Floyd and Jordan Jenkins improve upon what they did last week?
3. Richt is done. He owns these bastards. Whether you like the man or not, you owe him the support of rooting and cheering and believing and barking and kicking their ass yet again at Historic Mark Richt Field. Refocus point: get your head out of your ass.
4. We're going to lose anyway. Refocus point: 1) you're at the wrong blog again dumbass. 2) you're getting real late for your jump onto the Auburn bandwagon. 3) you're tater tots are burning and Michael Wilbon's mom would like a word at the top of the stairs.

Discussions that are on the table with the stuffing and the gravy and the turkey leg(s) and the pumpkin pie and the handle of bourbon and the sweet potatoes and the stuffing again and the fork you forgot to use at the in-laws' table and your wife is glaring at you again:

1. Why we should always beat Tech and why this is an important game despite what you just read on twitter and the dawgvent and your second cousin that took 12 semester hours of classes on North Avenue's facebook feed.

We beat Tech. We do it TOGETHER!! Because if we don't, we're no better than they are.

Not much left to say, except y'all enjoy some family and friends the next couple days, don't patron any business that forces employees to work during a God honest Holiday, and I'll see you back here Friday morning. And also, don't be a dipshit. Go Dawgs! 

Oh, and repeat after me again...Program first, always. ALWAYS. Beating tech is good for Georgia. Period!

Me too Sterling. Me too.

A tweet can cause is to sigh deeply.

Sterling Bailey on going to Auburn for 1st time since '13 ending: "We left something over there. I still think about it from time to time."

— Marc Weiszer (@marcweiszer) November 10, 2015

Perhaps it can motivate as well.

Sunday's Thoughts on my knee jerking

Special teams - We punt into the endzone but can't kickoff into it. WTF?

Defense - Tennessee did exactly what we knew they were going to do. Is the Butts-Mehre DVR broke? Do I need to send a copy of the Florida-Missouri game in? And the tackling was pee-wee poor.

Offense - Only accounted for 17 points on a day we lost our star running back on the first play from scrimmage. That's a mixed bag as there were some great plays and some awful ones. But we're not doing much to get playmakers into space. There are times I feel like it's still early September and the playbook is only a few pages long.

Emotion - We played with little to none. Was that a deliberate 180 because of the pre-game warmups before the Bama game? I don't know. But I don't like it.

Where does Richt look to right the ship on a season getting tossed around the stormy sea? I'd start with emotion.

Friday Misery - the one where Dawg fans don't drink whine

ATTN: the weekend's hashtag is.......(drumroll....)..... ......  ...........#JazzHandsOnCheckerboard

Don't get your panties in a wad now, but I'm sitting this one out. For those of you who are going, be sure to pay attention during pregame when they retire Derek Dooley's pants. Surprised it didn't take them longer to get the shit stains out.

And I'm also hearing they'll commemorate the signature win loss of the Butch Jones Era at halftime by retiring the official "Butch Please 2-pt Conversion Chart". Not sure why the chart is laminated, or that there's even a chart at all since the only words on it are "Go for won. #brickbybrick".

If your mind wanders though, take some time to ponder this - what the hell is up with Tennessee quarterbacks and their expansive foreheads?

On today’s episode of wOrD PLaY!!..

If you rearrange the letters in the phrase “ain’t no smoggy smoke on Rocky Top” you get “Wendy’s drive-thru pulled pork sammich”.

Butch might be slang for “rugged manhood” but it is also Latin for “fake juice fail”.

A Prius in Knoxville = getaway car. Add a BB gun on the floorboard = #ThugLyfe

Pig Howard spelled backward is “we’ll miss the speed with which you fumble through our endzone”. Or if you prefer acronyms - TTFNPIG.

Put the name Jancek or Willie in a wordfind and they’ll always fall to the bottom. Diagonal. And backwards.

BONUS ROUND!!!! - -

-Christmas present DOES or DOES NOT = giving your daughter a hickie? (think hard y'all)

-Heinz IS or IS NOT a barbeque sauce?

-See Dick run. See Jane run. See Sean Jones scoop and score!

-Bill Bates is to Herschel as a horsefly is to ________________.

A. steamroller B. windshield

C. WWII era M18 Hellcat tank D. All of the things that kick a horsefly's ass

STRAIGHTEN UP YOUR BROKE ASS STANKY LEG!!

Sometimes I swear we snuck into some Knoxville frat house and drank up their shelves of boxed fermented grapes.

"My shoe is untied."

"They shoulda left Lambert in."

"I'm hungry."

"I'm tired of losing big games."

"Why can't we beat Alabama? I hate that you guys. I REALLY hate that."

"This rain is really getting me all wet."

"They shoulda put Ramsey in sooner."

"My sweet tea is too sweet."

"Oh Look! They're doing that dancing thing!"

We've become a DawgNation of whiners - "I don't like the way Coach Richt walks." We bitch and moan about every little thing - "Did you notice they don't play any songs from before 1972 over that loudspeaker. It's all new age crap." We spend an abundance of energy trying to find something unique to complain about - "If Lambert would lace his right cleat a little tighter the ball would be easier to grip. 'Specially in the rain."

"Oh LOOK! A squirrel!" - chases squirrel around yard until dizzy, passes out, wakes up with leaves in mouth, eventually remembers his Dawgvent password, logs back in

Vomit.

I don't mind (and even understand) the frustration. But we need to have a solution or two for every time our lips part ways with some whiny ass thought. We need to offer some idea, some small notion as to how the situation could be improved. We need to change our underwear y'all.

If you don't like the quarterback depth chart, start a petition to have four more years of eligibility. Then start another one that forbids players from entering the NFL draft until they're 25. That way Aaron Murray would be in his third senior season. (Hey Honey...check my math on that.)

If you don't like burnt toast, adjust your toaster's settings. 

"Brick by brick and box by box. Rocky Top!"

If you don't like having a sore ass, either stop shoving a funnel up there or move to Knoxville.

If you're so hung up on losing a game that you haven't worn deodorant all week and you've forgotten your kids' names, maybe now's a good time to take up candle making. If you're so pissed off at the world that you'd "BOO!!" you're own damn team, it's time you got fitted for that straight jacket or move on to a team that plays on Sundays.

We talk too much about history. (OH&BTW, that's something I warned about last Friday AHEM!). We need to live in the NOW. We need to pay attention to the road in front of us before we run right into a HillBilly Hoedown and get our nose broke. We need to take our eyes off the rear view mirror before Bama beats us twice.

We need to be some goddamn Georgia fans and not a bunch of sissies that can't keep from picking the Fruit of the Looms out from our crack. Tennessee stands before us slack-jawwed and droopy-eyed. Punch em right square in the mouth and watch them crumple into a pile of brick dust.

THAT is the task at hand. THAT is what WE do. Don't wait for them to blow another lead. We don't need other teams' blueprint because we brought our own gotdamn blueprint - let Floyd loose and run Chubb all damn day!

Folks on rocky top "get their corn from a jar". But tomorrow they get their ass handed to them on a silver platter.

Please bow your heads...dear Lord, the Baby Jesus, and Larry Munson, please let Keith Marshall run free. And don't let Josh Dobbs' ugly rub off on 'Zo Carter when he gets all those sacks tomorrow. Go Dawgs!