WLOCP - 4th & 3 Dudes, episode 28

In this week's episode, we have a recap of week 9, which was an off week for both the Dawgs and Cord's Beavers. Then we delve into the coaching carousel and talk about this weekend's showdowns.

Link, share and subscribe. Most of all, let's go beat the gators! Go Dawgs!

Some links from mentions in the show:

• the Haynes King article by David Hale and Dave Wilson
• 4th & 3 Dudes YouTube channel, and/or Spotify
• Kiffin's "Velvet Ditch" tweet

Digesting the WLOCP - the bad, the good, and the HAVOC

Let's get the bad out of the way. Carson Beck had another awful start. He continues to struggle connecting with targets and overall doesn't look polished like he did towards the end of last season. The interceptions were baffling, to be honest.

The defense struggled in the first half and clearly missed Jackson and Aguero. The Gators should not have gotten that last field goal to end the half. Our secondary followed their motion and left a weakened weak side over-matched.

That's it. That's the bad. The defense returned to form when Jackson and Aguero were given their helmets back and released from SEC officiating purgatory. Florida didn't amass 200 total yards of offense until that last touchdown drive midway through the 4th quarter.

Bobo called a great game, balancing it between managing through Beck's rough start and losing Etienne. Frazier stepped up into the role well, and Cash did his usual Cash things. So the loss of Etienne was troubling, but not devastating by any means.

And Hello! Peanut! 

We are all Peanut fans#GoDawgs | @DwightP_2024 pic.twitter.com/ee2ZPAVmNm

— Georgia Football (@GeorgiaFootball) November 4, 2024

Saturday was probably the best game our tight end room has had this season: blocking, route running, and catching. That's encouraging!

Woodring and Thorson had great days, but until that bad snap/hold Florida was having an even better day at special teams.

I watched the tv version last night and was surprised to hear Herbstreit say the Georgia fans were not into it. In the stands I felt the opposite was true. Going back to Kirby's words to the fans after the Auburn game, I feel like Dawg fans have only gotten louder and dug in deeper behind the team.

And having a couple great defensive outings has helped. You take a play like Daniel Harris made, that brings a lot of noise from Georgia fans. Sacks, solid tackling, meeting the ball carrier at the line of scrimmage, CJ Allen leaping in anticipation of a bad pass...just HAVOC in general dissolves any perceived separation between those in red on the field and those in red in the stands.

Let's end with Beck. I'm sure you are hearing it too. No one knows more than Carson that he needs to be better. The fact that he's had three interceptions in each of the last two games and we've still managed to win both by two touchdowns is both amazing and nerve wracking.

But if you think he's not our best option by a wide margin, you're just not paying attention. Many coaches would've pulled the quarterback after that third interception in the early moments of the second half. And let's be honest, Beck could've had four by that time!

But Kirby did not pull him. That tells me Beck was still our best option to win the game. That being said, in the television replay I could see Kirby getting less "hand holding" with 15 and more firm in the "it's time to step up" message as we entered the final frame.

And let's be fair, Carson did step up. He was 11 for 11 in the deciding final 15 minutes of the game. 

I may spend another post on our quarterback later in the week, but for now let's acknowledge the fact that we've won four straight in Jacksonville. Something that we haven't been able to do since the '80s!

Go Dawgs! 

the Friday Misery says FTMF!

"We need a miracle!" screamed Dorsey Hill, now fortified by more than collards.

"Holding pigs for my dad to castrate was quite a challenge. I can't say that helped prepare me for football, but it sure did remind me a lot of sacking Steve Spurrier." - Bill Stanfill

"Hey Stevie...BOO!"

With your bright orange shirts and your sissy blue britches, you can go to Hell you sonsabitches! Gators...Gators...how'd ya like to bite my ass?!

How much do I hate florida? Turn the toaster oven to 500, throw it into the center of a thousand suns, and then into the molten lava center of a box of pizza bites.

the legacy of Willy Napier

On the day of November 28, 2021, Napier was known for bringing success to the Sun Belt Conference's UL-Lafayette. He was known as a solid recruiter, and was replacing known counter-recruiting aficionado - Danny Mullen. It seemed a thoughtful pivot for the bull gator intelligentsia.

Also, Billy had turned that ULL program around. They made bowl games in all four of Napier's seasons there as he lead them to a 40-12 overall record. Could he be the full package for florida? And would that aforementioned intelligentsia give him the space and time to right the ship that Muschamp, Sharkdaddy McIlwain, and Mullen had steered into jagged rocks?

Recruiting has improved, which is to say the current gator coaches engage in it and recognize its importance. But (current Georgia backup QB Jaden Rashada) is currently suing Napier and the Gator Guard Collective for failing to stand by their NIL commitment of $13 million and change. It's the first suit of its kind.

And for any gator fan that has stumbled from their single-wide/meth lab over here? When I type "suit" I'm referring to a legal action, not the fact that your 15 jersey with the sleeves ripped off matches your frayed edged jorts.

So in summation, it's been and still is rocky water in the swamps around Gainesville. Ya hate to see it! Where does the SunBelt Billy legacy lead? A win tomorrow could warrant it more time on the gator sideline. A loss might find it at the bottom of the swamp chained to a concrete block.

a Hate as old as time

Gator family, or alligatoridae as it were, have been around since well before Steve Spurrier returned to Gainesville. I'm talking the Eocene epoch, like before they evolved into eatin' boogers. Man came along roughly 29 million years later. Many species of alligatoridae are now extinct. So despite the age difference, the overall record in this series is almost unfathomable - 8 billion humans and nearly a billion dogs to roughly 3 million embiggened lizards.

Why? Well, all scientists agree (even the ones on campus in Gainesville wearing their lab coats backwards) that the alligator evolved much more slowly than mammals and even birds.

I know, shocker right?! These are the reptiles whose fans clap as if their left hand is on fire. Have you ever seen an alligator wearing jean shorts? No, me neither. Then again, I guess jorts are cheaper than alligator skin outerwear.

According to their team fanpage Wiki, in 2010 after outlasting the Dawgs in overtime 34-31, their fans "were found to gather in large numbers for group courtship, the so-called 'alligator dances'." Egad! Sounds like a scene from a late night Cinemax flick.

No thank you! So despite all the millenniums of evolution (mostly on our part fellow Dawg fans), the goal remains the same.

Beat.

Florida.

of note

Did you know that during the years of Prohibition, Georgia dominated this series 6-2-1? Which proves that a florida tackle football team is no better when they are sober.

I believe I took this pic prior to the 2017 WLOCP. On one hand I took it because I have two daughters, and this is not mine nor their mother's impression of "chivalry". But I also took it because...screw you florida douche ass punk! Be a man and carry the case of beer! Jesus, it's not a toothbrush or, Heaven forbid, a non-fictional account of College Football prior to the 1990s!

I imagine it went down something like this:

"Hey babe, let's go catch that bus and get to lil Dickie's tailgate. And can you carry the beer? This bad ass lanyard and my Skoal Bandits are really weighing me down."

"Well, you made me pay for them, so I guess it's only right."

Back to reality. Danny Wuerffel ain't walking down that tunnel tomorrow. More to the point, Trevor Etienne ain't gonna be wearing a helmet with the cute cursive print on it. Prohibition is long over. It's time to work those corked bottles, snap back cans, twist tops and shot glasses. It's the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party! It was a metal, steel chair. With about a five inch cushion! JAWS was about a shark, not a gator. Monthly parole is no longer a undergraduate major, the Urban era is done. FTMF! That's what my coach said. One bit, two bits, three bits ain't gonna get you shit tomorrow! Lindsay RAN so Munson lit the cigar. Your fans throw meth raves and your players throw cleats. You're so poor, you couldn't keep Cam Newton on the roster. You're closer to a circus than a College Football Playoff. To give a nod to ol' Dorsey again, "I haven't worked since Texas, and I haven't slept since Clemson. You expect me to go back home when we play Ole Miss in six days!??" God IS a Bulldog!

Now let us bow our heads...dear little baby Jesus, in the words of Dan Magill, please smite these florida Philistines and keep our ice cold and our Dawg hearts warm. In the name of Nat Hudson, Robert Edwards, Dick Sam IV, and Nakobe Dean...Amen and Go Dawgs!

Hate week, florida edition - 4th & 3 Dudes

I'll let you be the judge, but I don't think I exuded enough hate.

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Mid week feelings on the WLOCP

We're getting close! As I cross over the Trout River each day and putter towards MLK, get closer and closer to taking that exit instead. Hope all y'all traveling down in the coming days drive and fly and boat safely. The weather is good this year. I think we'll head into the game in the low 80's, so it could hot sitting in portions of the stands. But overall a very pleasant weatherly outlook.

As for the game:

• I like that we are healthier than we have been in a month or so. Getting Tate back is big. Sounds like Mykel will still be on a play count. On their side of the field, they have a lot of playmakers listed as questionable - RB and especially wide receiver. Most of the real game experience is still available though; the exception being senior RB Montrell Jackson. They've done pretty well with freshman Jadan Baugh toting the rock.
• Here a few days out it just feels like a game that starts slowly before we really lean on them. So it could be close at half, but I like our interior lineman on both sides of the compared to theirs.

I enjoy this week for the social media posting too. One of the greatest Dawg fans I know, Billy goes old school with this post:

And Greg came in with the full video experience. Go Dawgs!

A video that never gets old. “Screw Florida and the mule they came in here on!”. Erk Russell ‘1980 pic.twitter.com/9vJXns7w9d

— 𝐺𝑟𝑒𝑔 - 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑜 𝑒𝑎𝑡! (@Dawgsfan4ever) October 29, 2024

Let's re-visit a florida gator nightmare sequence

Nama shared this last night. What a game!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Row Sixty: A Georgia Football Podcast (@rowsixty)

We happened to be sitting behind Nolan Smith's grandfather. He busted a knuckle celebrating during that fumble return. So I went home with a bloody polo, but beyond overjoyed!

The longest two and a half minutes of Dan Mullen's career. And precipitated one of Kirby's greatest halftime speeches (at least to our knowledge) where he implores the team to "make them fucking quit!"

I can't wait for Saturday!

the Friday Misery doesn't wear chaps

Hey Beevo, keep your dadgum ivoryish bovine protrusions away from our doggy!

steered clear

Seriously, why is that thing on the field? I've heard many raise the question, but have yet to hear a true answer. When Ralphie visited Sanford he was on his best behavior. I don't think his handlers even had to sedate him. I mean he ran on the field without trampling Joe Cox. Thank God!

But if this is the same Texas mascot that was at the Sugar Bowl a few years ago, give him a horse tranq for God's sake!

And I don't even know if Uga is travelling. I sure wouldn't if I were Boom and knew what that ornery two-ton sumbitch tried against Que. Give that good boy a tummy rub and let him just nap through the pre-game from the comforts of the Seiler sofa.

(UPDATE: Charles says Boom will indeed be safe in Savannah this weekend.)

when the secondary is a primary concern

Deeeeep.

Breath.....

Okay, it was uneasy then uncomfortable then unfathomable to watch our secondary get torched time and time again Saturday night. I get it, that was not fun at all. Offense was eating up yards and putting up points, but the defense just couldn't make ol' Missy State quit!

It starts, in my humble never been a tackle football coach's opinion, with the pass rush. I was a little, just a little, too hard on the secondary on Tuesday. Upon further reflection, every time we sent a blitz they had the correct call. And it went for a lot of yards if not a touchdown.

We just couldn't get our hands on the kid. And that starts in the trenches. Tomorrow we have to be able to generate a push and at least get some hands in Ewers' face. We made Miss State one-dimensional early. They wanted to run the ball, but we wouldn't let them.

Here's a dude that can GATA!

And while that eventually turned on us when they started to pass, we need to do the same tomorrow night. Yes, it's hard when Mykel isn't 100%. It's hard with Mondon sidelined. But these kind of games are won up front.

Now everybody...yes, even you pea brains in the back still whining about Kirby's forearm shiver. Let's all get into a three point stance...that's it...get your ass down Poindexter! Okay, now. Right arm up ready to chop wood, and...GET AFTER THEIR ASS!!

egos are especially bigger in texas

Gather around longhorns, and put your 10 gallon learning caps on. You are officially in the SEC now, so you have to act right. Yes, even though you were named after a steakhouse chain. And no, most of us don't want you around here anyway. And it's not because we're afraid of you. No, the decisions were and are made above our paygrade.

So listen here, stop whining every time an opposing fan gives you the horns down. Yes, we know it hurts your feelings and we saw when the Big12 front office enabled you like a green-faced toddler that doesn't wanna eat strained peas.

Grow a pair. Instead of putting a replica of a bull's scrotum on your trailer hitch, try loosening your girly chaps and find your own set. This is the SEC son! We can joke about Vandy "blowing the Admiral", and Carolina's choking chicken, and still have some modicum of respect for each other. Yes, we bark at perfect strangers. Yes, Florida claps like the graduating class for the directionally challenged. Missouri goes on the road...to play UMass! And don't get me started on Tennessee's Tour de Franzia or their depressing locker room mantra:

Narrator voice: "It was true. It could not be found."

Taunting, trash talk, turning Parliament Funkadelic's P-Funk hand signal upside down...it's all part of the fan experience. It's expected. It's understood. (And yes, I understand Auburn is more of an exception. But trust me, they're worse than a toddler with strained peas in his ears.)

Now, proudly pat that SEC patch on your jersey and understand you are now playing in the ELITE playground. No more plastic primary colored fake shit. I'm talking solid wood foundation with steel bars. I guess what I'm saying is, if the slide in our playground doesn't chap your ass, then an inverted set of fingers shouldn't either.

Let's all circle up and pray...take off your cap and let's see your pretty-boy haircut Arch! There we go...Lord, please protect these men tomorrow night as we continue to pray and look for ways to support hurricane victims across the southeast. And please, pleeeeaase! Let us get Ewers jersey dirty. Even after 8:50pm. Because we know it's ALWAYS 10 TO 9 IN TEXAS!! AMEN and Go Dawgs!

Bonus - this week's 4th & 3 Dudes episode

the Friday Misery is home for the Holidays

“I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.” - Ignatius Reilly

John Kennedy Toole’s protagonist was pretentious, arrogant, and bloated - both by brain as much as stature. But in times like these…I just wish Mr. Toole had more than one novel to delve into.

Crimes by Committee

Because if you replace just a few words in the quote, it explains our state of discontent these last few days. 

century Committee

occasional frequent

cheese dip Old Fashioned

There we go! Because a gluttonous group of glory holes can’t have it both ways. Best or most deserving…? Can we add another subgroup here - cheaters or non-cheaters? How about GOATs or wannabe-GOATs? Oh wait, they actually covered that one pretty well.

No, I’m not going to harp on it too long. Because you’re tired of rehashing it too. But to punish a team that did everything they could do, won every game including their conference, but because their defense wouldn’t be as good without its star injured quarterback…sorry ‘Noles. And to reward one team SO much for beating your week to week #1 as to elevate them fours spots, all while dropping said #1 team five spots??

That’s enough. My brain is reeling again.

I’m just thankful to have one.

On the other hand, pass me a pacifier

We sure got greedy quick didn’t we dear Reader? I seem to recall in the not too distant past, a time when we would’ve given an appendage just to be in last Saturday and Sunday’s discussion. And not like a Mr. Mays’ pinky digit either. Like a full on, non-dominant or dominant, God-given limb!

Sorry momma, but them aughts and such was Hell!

So yeh, I knew when I woke up Sunday and recalled the final SECCG score, that we had about as much chance of making it into the College Football Championship as Bama did of converting a 4th and 31 for a tuddy on the final play of the game on the plains as an internet wanderer has of going surfing for an hour without stumbling on another 7-8 articles about the NFL’s new wonder couple. 

So, like you most likely, I was resigned to stop whining and reflect on the unprecedented 29-0 run. What a time! We brought back a trophy and Bama-Covid from Indy, and just kept rolling! How many games were there the last couple seasons when the team was not playing to their standard, that we thought we’d actually lose? At Missouri, nah. Homecoming for Kentucky, nope. Hell, the regular season closer against Tech with an interim coach had my 1990’s self in awe!

Peach Ball dropped wide short!

It wasn’t until last year’s Peach Bowl that we finally broke a sweat! Whew.

And then this season? Can you imagine being down at half to the gamecocks and not being bent out of shape? Two weeks later on the Plains…okay, had to get on our knees and pray to dear Ol’ Munson’s Ghost that Abuurn’s secondary got a sudden case of dyslexia and thought that was OWBRES lining up in the slot.

Again, whew!

Anyway, all that to say it’s been quite a run Dawg fans! And despite what those kissin’ siblings up on rocky top, and those toothless reptiles down in the swamp might think…hell, throw in the 2023 SEC championship gumps…just like Kirby told ‘em, “We ain’t going NOWHERE!”

Now, please bow your heads…dear layin’ in a manger Baby Jesus, please keep the lights bright this Christmas. For both those with 5 stars and those without. (Don’t let the tithing plate keep passing you by Vandy.)

Enjoy the Army/Navy game ya filthy animals! Go Army! #beatNavy

Epilogue

Yes, I found the keys to this thing somewhere around the intersection of Inspiration Ave. and Got a Lil Time on My Hands Cir. I’d like to keep posting somewhere between frequently and weekly. But most likely we’re coasting into a “let’s see how this goes” time period.

Full disclosure, we have moved to coastal Georgia and I won’t get to as many games as I used to. With the move, a new gig, a rebuilt engine and a cracked tooth, I managed only two this season. But rest assured we watch every game, relish any game we can get in Jacksonville and any opportunity to tailgate with our old crew, as well as see some of y’all OG readers in red and black!

Now I’m off to clean some things up around here. Somehow since I last logged in the spam filter caught tens of thousands of spam comments. Blessing and a curse and all that. So I’ll first try and get commenting figured out, but it’ll be regulated to some degree to start with. 

Until next time, I’m putting the keys in my pocket this time. Then I’ll text the daughters to remind me of how to drop on of those “pins” from my iPhone so I can keep finding that intersection. Go Dawgs!

"Coach, did you hear Bernie may be bloggin again?"
"Oh he is is he!"

the Sunday Misery is moonlight through the pines

"Muscle Shoals has got the Swampers..."

Love me some Skynard. But this week, like no other, I prefer just an old sweet song.

My tell-tale Dawg heart
In elementary school, teachers invited us to the front of the room to either show or tell. You had an option to show the class something that was important to you, or tell them something that was important to you.

Can you guess what I usually chose?

In 1972 my parents moved to Athens GA. I was two and a half years old. I didn't move away until I went off to college.

In my grade school years I remember passing the railroad tracks on the east side of Sanford and seeing it full of empty beer and whiskey bottles plus the occasional worn-down recliner on the way to Sunday School.

After the National Championship in the 1981 Sugar Bowl, I remember all of the billboards around Athens featuring the Junkyard Dawgs and the phrase "Hunker Down"!

Somewhere around 1983, I remember the house that was built adjacent to the Dooley's home near the intersection of West Lake Dr and Milledge Cir. The joke was that Coach was building it for Herschel. I was almost young enough to believe it.

Later, I went to Cedar Shoals High School. I was a couple years behind Athens Good Samaritan Bryant Gantt. He's the guy you've seen on the Georgia sideline probably since the Donnan years. As a lifelong fan turned employee of the University, he's on his way to becoming the only contemporary I know that is on a trajectory that legends like Coach Dooley and, dare I say, Coach Magill were on decades ago.

In 1988 I graduated high school at Stegeman Coliseum. The same Steg I used to (occasionally) skip Wednesday night choir practice with Chip to see Durham's Hoop Dawgs play.

In the Fall of 1989 I completed my transfer from LaGrange College and enrolled at UGA. ("Still in peaceful dreams I see, the road leads back to you.) It was what I have sometimes affectionately referred to here on the blog as my "first sophomore year" of college. It was also Goff's first year as head coach.

In 1990 Coach Webber's Diamond Dawgs won the College World Series. At this point I had been to (at least) twice as many baseball games on campus as I had football games. I bet a majority of today's freshman don't even know what or where Foley Field is.

Beauties.

Also in 1990 I went from being on Academic probation to Honor Roll. A feat Coach Goff, unfortunately, could not replicate. I eventually graduated in 1993. He was fired in 1995. After the similar up and down trajectories of our UGA careers, I got a diploma and he got Zaxby's. Since it was Guthrie's that got me through all those years, I still say I got the better separation package.

In 1996, at Coach Donnan's debut they gave out t-shirts. But we lost to Southern Miss 11-7 and I saw a dude take our a lighter and burn his new souvenir before he even left Sanford. Sidenote - I think Kirby was a sophomore on that team.

In 1997 I married Jenn, the biggest, most badass Dawg fan I know. Our first dance was to a little tune called Georgia, by Ray Charles.

Also in 1997 I cried after a football game for the first time when Donnan's Dawgs beat Florida. Well, they didn't beat them so much as they whooped their ass until the rules stated that they had to stop.

In 2000 I went back to UGA to become what we affectionately refer to as a "Double Dawg", so I had a student ID for both Donnan's final season as well as Richt's first.

In 2002 Jenn and I began our lil Dawg family. Nothing cuter than a girl in pigtails wearing Georgia red!

I documented most of the remaining years in this post-Richt firing post. I don't want to bore you down an already beaten path, but I would like emphasize that all the way through the Richt era I strengthened friendships with friends like Nama, Fred, Joe Waterloo, Cord, and their wives and families around Georgia football.

Undefeated Tailgate Crew

Like you I've also made many friends around tailgates like Tanner, Hillary, the Wrangler, Dustin, Doherty, Matt, and their wives and families. Saturdays in the fall just aren't the same without them.

Thanks to social media I got to meet Robert and Kerri plus her husband Barry out in Boulder in '09. I also met Tony on that trip, on a bourbon aisle of a local liquor store of course. On the concourse right before Ralphie ran onto Folsom Field, Ben screamed at me and we yelled "Go Dawgs!" together for the first time.

On other trips, UGA events, and the occasional Drive By Truckers concert I've met other Damn Good Dawg fans like Mackie, Krisi, Jen from La Jolla, Buddy, the Thinking Bulldog, Groo, Kit, Jake & April & Bryan, Sorrow & Trevin, DentalDawg, Chase, Andrew, Brad, Sandy, Angie, Scott from the Boro, Paul Westerdawg, John aka the Oconee River Rat, Tony & Russ, Jason, and of course the Eternal Redcoat Brett.

I've shared a ride to Columbia SC with Salty to share some beers with Ben, only to suffer through the worst beat down I've seen our Dawgs take.

After the Dawgs' win in Jacksonville Derrick, Colby, and Eddie helped me sacrifice my car. Next year we're going to find a different way to celebrate a WLOCP win.

Even through all the ups and downs, the relationships have held me true.

OUR tell-tale Dawg heart
That's a really, really long way of pointing out that we all have a story. It's moments like this, before your team plays its biggest game in decades, that we as fans tend to reflect on how we, personally, got here.

As the old saying goes, it's not the destination but the journey that's important. Today, here on the eve of the 2018 College Football National Championship, I respectfully disagree. It's both the journey and the destination.

It's the moonlight through those Georgia pines. It's the old sweet song that keeps bringing us back each and every August.

We've all worked through our own moments of fear and trepidation to get here. We've all hugged perfect strangers in the stands of Sanford and other stadiums in the Southeast and beyond when some player wearing that most magnificently beautiful helmet made a play. We've all buried our heads in our hands more often than we've raised them to the Heavens.

And here we are. It started in our veins, it coursed through our heart, and brought us to our feet!

Tweet Champs!

We've stood together in agony. We've put our arms around each other in desperation. We've traveled the nation and drank towns dry. We've suffered through coaching searches and injuries and dropped passes and also getting passed on by the national narrative.

But Kirby's team has punched its own ticket. It's been a fabulous ride...

2017's Final stanza
...but it ain't over. This magical season just had to end with Alabama. Like no other the Tide have stood between us and greatness the most often and the most resolute. They held us five yards short. They've beat us down twice in our own stadium in the last nine years.

And you may have heard recently that our coach is their former assistant. While the national media lazily tries to draw similarities, we need to remember that Kirby is quick to point out the differences. Tucker's defense is more like Junkyard Dawgs than Saban Crimson clones.

After all, sheep are for Tenersee "farmers".

Yes, this season has to end with Alabama. And come Monday night (or very early Tuesday morning) there's no reason the winner can't be Georgia. After all, the Tide had to fight their way in. They are still trying to prove they belong. The national analysts keep saying "It's an all SEC final!". But only one of us is the conference champion. They may like the cut of the Tide's jib, but Saban failed to win his own damn division.

Meanwhile some keep saying "well goshdarn whatever happens happens and beyond a Rose Bowl berth this season is just gravy".

Is that you? Are you satisfied? Is that defeatist attitude something our coaches and players would endorse? Is that why Fromm set the edge for Sony last Monday night so that you could post your #RoseBowl excitement on bookface and scream with glee just so he and Chubb and Zo and Bellamy and Dominick could have the chance to friggin' lose their final game of their Georgia Bulldog career? Is that why Lorenzo Carter finally came back down to Earth earlier this week after hovering endlessly over the Rose Bowl turf to block that damn kick?

Dude, your sadness makes Alanis Morisette want to make another starving dog commercial. Get a gotdamn grip!

We're Georgia and we belong right where we are. They're the ones that need to prove they belong. They're the ones that're bringing their cousins to Atlanta...as dates. They're the ones that have a complacent fan base. They're the ones with a coach that's spent 20 years on AARP benefits.

Let's bring this home. Let's complete this journey! Our destination has been the same since we became Dawg fans! Our goal hasn't wavered since Bellamy stripped sacked that Domer in South Bend! Our focus has been steadfast since the blood coursed through the veins into our heart and brought us to our feet!

Truly, I don't know if we'll win tomorrow, but I can't think of one reason why we can't. We've come this far, we've followed our own paths. For 37 years we've turned our heads towards the Southwest corner for the Battle Hymn until we've developed a crick in our neck. We've joined hands and raised our four fingers and most recently a phone's flashlight to beckon our own inner Glory Glory!

I don't know what the future holds, but I know it's bright and I only want it brighter. Like, NOW! I want the confetti to drench and nearly drown Nick Chubb. I want to see Sony make #JazzHands and snow angels on the Mercedes-Benz floor. I want to see that gap in Zo's smile as he hoists the trophy.  I want to see Bellamy holding the ball he stripped from Hurts with two minutes left on the stage as he accepts the MVP award.

I want to hug my kids with a championship hug. I want my wife to know the joy that she's been been screaming and longing for all these years. I want my friends to feel the joy that I know they've all earned ten times over. I want you, my loyal and eager Reader, to enjoy the long and joyous smile of a truly satisfied Georgia Buldog fan.

Glory Glory, let us bow our thankful heads y'all....dear Lord, we thank you for the opportunity to play in Atlanta one more time. Please let Roquan find many a ball carrier and Wynn raise Chubb to your Heavens at least one more time! In the name of Herschel's Separated Shoulder and Munson's Metal Steel Chair, Amen! Go Dawgs!

#KeeptheMainThingtheMainThing

Rose Bowl - could time of possession be the game's biggest factor?

If we can agree that this Rose Bowl isn’t likely to be the high scoring affair that Sooners have gotten used to with Mayfield at the helm of its offense, and if we can agree that the Georgia coaching staff is likely to want to slow this game down and limit the Sooner possessions as much as possible, then we might start to look for 2017 games for each team that could serve as a crude, yet convenient barometer for what each team wants to avoid.

Never fear, I did just that last night.

October 14th, the Red River Shootout, Oklahoma 29   Texas 24. (And yes, that’s considered low scoring by their standards.) Time of possession is pretty even with the Sooners possessing the ball for just under 32 minutes. Here’s a recap of the highlights:

What I see is a lot of big plays breaking down (for both offenses really) to the point where the quarterback and his playmakers have to improvise. Both quarterbacks do a remarkable job of moving the pocket, using their feet for both time and yards (points), and simply waiting for the secondary to break down to the point that a receiver was open or there was room to run.

In the end Baker made one more play than Ehlinger. Otherwise it might have been the Longhorns running out the clock at the end instead. And in the end Texas surrendered 174 yards on 39 carries. The Longhorns were essentially beaten by Mayfield’s arm because they weren’t effective enough in stopping Trey Sermon and Rodney Anderson on the ground.

November 11th, Iowa State 38   Oklahoma 31. The Cyclones handed the Sooners their only loss, and ISU too held the OU just below their season average in time of possession. Unlike the Longhorns though, the Cyclones were able use enough screens, score late, or play some defense late to hold off another Sooner rally.

There’s no question that Georgia’s secondary should provide a more difficult task for the Heisman winner and this Sooner offense. But the last thing we want to see is Tucker’s defense struggling to balance when to rush extra men and when to drop them back. Because Mayfield is the type of quarterback that will expose a defense that is playing on its heels.

And he’ll do it with ease.

Baker dominated the Buckeye midfield logo. What a champion!

If 2017’s version of the Red River Shootout and the loss to the Cyclones at home are the types of games Oklahoma wants to avoid playing again, then without question Georgia wants to avoid what happened on the Plains about a month ago even more.

November 11th, the Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry, part one, Auburn 40   Georgia 17. This was, obviously, the Dawgs’ worst game in terms of controlling to game’s momentum and possessing the ball - 26:54 to 33:06. (We only held the ball for 25 minutes in Jacksonville, but that was all you needed to whip the gators’ ass this year, so…)

The Tigers were undoubtedly the more physical team at the point of attack. They gashed Tucker’s defense for 237 yards, and made it feel like double that.

However you feel about the Big 12 being a finesse league and full of soft defenses and cute passes, make no mistake that this Sooner o-line is legit. They’ve got a Heisman winner that has helped them win some awards and gain some recognition. Plus they’d love nothing more than to contain Georgia’s pass rush and open up holes for their running backs in front all those NFL scouts that will be out in full in Pasadena.

I like the fact that our offense could really complement our defense well on this grand stage in the Rose Bowl. Fromm will definitely have to make some throws, but there should be plenty of yards to gain on the ground against a defense that is 40th nationally in rush defense.

Hand the ball off. Tick tick tick tick tick tick...Keep the Baker man cold on the sideline as much as possible.

Go Dawgs!

the Friday Misery wants a Standing O!!

Prelude

"Just consider it an ice cold purse Babe. You're
doing great. Go Gators!"

While they mix their vodka and Monster energy drinks, we’ll be pouring some bourbon comfortably over ice. They’ll chase their Four Lokos with Pepsi...or vice versa, I have no idea and does it really matter anyway? They’ll make their girlfriends carry their beer. They’ll be in orange clapping as if their entire arms are encased in cement. We’ll be in red and black, ready for a handshake and a pat on the back. In the immortal words of the Greatest Bulldog ever, Coach Magill, “They are the Florida Philistines.” They are a perfect unnatural blend of rudeness, crassness, and base immorality. They will tailgate at crosswalks, Burger King bags in each hand. Meanwhile, we’ll raise a tent, sit a spell, and commence to sharing stories, such as what our barber said during the off week haircut about Jake Fromm, or what our neighbor heard from a friend of a cousin’s tennis partner that is in the Mary Beth Smart carpool rotation. They’ll dump ice into the cardboard Miller Lite case because a styrofoam cooler is a whole $4.99 at the gas n’ sip where they bought their Skoal bandits and pork rinds. Nearby, your lovely wife will adorn her newest bloody mary with a Phickles Pickles pickled okie.

Despite the overt disparities, everything will seem normal. Relaxed even. As Grizzard quoted a local after the 1980 win, “It’s the annual celebration of the repeal of Prohibition!” Yes, it’ll be good to be back in Jacksonville, our annual Fall, midseason retreat.

Then suddenly, it happens...

Under an overpass, average florida fan in awkwardly short jorts and a Tebow jersey with the sleeves cut off strolls up to a young Georgia fan waiting with his dad to cross the street - “Welcome to florida bitches! Hope you like the taste of our ass later this afternoon! Go gators!!”

The young boy turns to look up at Average Gator Fan Man and responds, “Thank you sir, my dad and I are both sorry that you have to live here in this awful swamp of humidity and bad life choices you call a state. And we hope that one day you’ll manage to save up the $56 so you can finally finish that GED course. Enjoy the game!”

The dad smiles at the jorted one as they cross the street. Meanwhile the florida fan stands stupefied momentarily, then turns to his sister and asks, “What the hell’s a GED?”

Hate is not a strong enough sentiment.

The word itself has too few letters to sufficiently explain the eternal fire that burns inside of us, fueled by years of having to share a stadium with those knuckle dragging, mouth breathing, dim-witted cretins. They are pathological losers, especially when their team wins the game. They are sociological anomalies. Centuries from now anthropologists will be dumbfounded by the gator fan’s lack of class, unwillingness to learn simple tasks (such as grooming or eating with utensils), inability to adapt, ineffectiveness at contributing anything positive to its community, and their otherwise pervasive ability to offend those around them.

A gator fan is what you get when you introduce a WalMart clothing clearance rack with a meth-addled brain. It is sexless. It is devoid of any redeeming value. It is lacking any single quality that would make an ordinary person want to interact with it. It is insolence personified. It is a magnet for immoral behavior thought patterns. The gator fan isn’t the person your mother warned you about because your mother is too nice of a person to even think that such a vile, degenerate douchebag like the gator fan could possibly exist.

I would complain about this gator fan's behavior in front of the young
boy perched on dad's shoulders, but obviously the dad has no qualms.

Cases in point

Exhibit A: Normal person takes their toddler for a photo session after dressing the boy in his Sunday best. Gator fan doesn’t bother to wipe the oreo crumbs from the kid’s mouth, but makes sure the miniature Tebow jersey is straight and the kid’s middle fingers are raised before the photographer snaps the pic.

Exhibit B: Normal person eventually develops past the third grade mentality of teasing everyone about everything. Gator fan sees an elderly lady drop a cantaloupe in the produce section and commences to shouting irreverent and disgusting names at her then grabbing his genitals aggressively and chanting “Go Gator!”

Exhibit C: Normal person needs money for a new laptop so he saves up until he has enough. Gator felon swipes bank cards like they’re apples on a tree and heads to the student union for a spending spree. (Hey Corrinne Brown, that rhymed! Go Gatuh!)

We owe it to our children to prevent the spread of this classless race of sub-humans. Be a good parent, a good neighbor, a good citizen that wants to see advancement and happiness in the community. Don’t let children become gator fans. Again, especially your daughters.

Kirby’s STAND in Jax

Kirby, dude, I’ve bought in. I hear you coach and see you coach and I believe. I’m following your orders. I’m not into national narratives and I don’t give a shit about college football playoff scenarios.

The CFBOMG!! Playoffs are in January. Today is the 27th of October. Tomorrow we have Georgia-Florida, the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party by God! That’s the only thing on my mind. I don’t care how Notre Dame is doing because I haven’t thought about them since I woke up on September 10th.

You wanted it louder in Sanford and I gave my voice. You wanted a work week and I haven’t pressed snooze once. The focus is one day, one rep, one play, one drill at a time. You want to accomplish a goal it must be earned through preparation and dedication.

The next step towards that end is to beat the Florida Gators. The fog that envelops this game for Georgia is heavy. There’s always something - dropped passes, weird cold fronts, missed tackles, bad bounces. For the better part of the last three decades in Jacksonville, success has been few and far between. Netflix could devote an entire season of Stranger Things to Georgia’s experiences in Jacksonville Florida.

It needs to end Kirby. It needs to end tomorrow.

The sporadic victories that we had in the Donnan and Richt eras weren’t big enough to change the tide of the series. 1997 was sweet, sweet revenge for years of taking Spurrier’s jabs. But 1998 just reminded us that our cocktail is rarely shaken nor stirred. 2005 should’ve been Urban’s first taste of defeat in the series, but propped up by crutches, Shockley could only watch his team lose a heartbreaker. As incredible as 2007 was, 2008 was a complete kick in the crotch, followed by an endless chorus of “F--- YOU GEORGIA!!” as we rode the escalators down...down...down.

Famed fraternity mediator Ron Zook left Florida with a 2-1 record in the WLOCP. Famed shark humper Jim McIlwain is 2-0 thus far. A 10 point underdog in 2014, famed sideline Hulk impressionist William Muschamp started a freshman at quarterback and the gators racked up 428 yards on the ground in route to a 38-20 upset.

DickSamIV...crusher of gator will to compete

Kirby, I say all that to illustrate how tired we are of playing second fiddle down there. What is your stamp on this series going to be? Are we one day away from putting an epic beat down on these swamp lizards, or just another chance at coming up with more excuses as to why we can’t win this game more often.

Your team has plowed through the likes of Tennessee, Vanderbilt, and Missouri. Hell, you probably put the nail in the coffins that are the Jones and Odom tenures experiements at their respective schools. McIlwain needs to spend the fourth quarter scratching his head. We need to walk into Everbank tomorrow with the better prepared team, the one that is more focused and determined. They spent the week talking the talk. We need to walk out of there having walked the walk.

We need this win tomorrow. Not just for you. Not just for me. Not just for this season or the next. We need it for mankind. And when you ask those guys in the post-game locker room to stand up if they’ve beaten florida, we want a STANDING OVATION!

Now, please bow your heads...dear Lord Baby Jesus, please clear all lane closures on I-95 so we can zip down there and zip right back out after Wynn raises Chubb in the air after his 7th touchdown. And please don’t let those lizards slip no roofies in our cocktail. In the name of Nat Hudson, Lindsey Scott, Robert Edwards, and of course Lewis Grizzard and his ol’ pal Dorsey Hill, Amen!

Go Dawgs!