Happy National Goal Line Stalker Day!

No. 34 is 55 years young today! How I miss that glorious tear away jersey.

Annual Bowl Pool - Festivus is back!

In the long storied history of the blog's annual bowl pool, I've never won. Maybe the seventh time is a charm.

Regardless, we're getting the pole out of the crawl space and meeting at the Costanza's for dinner after the Airing of Grievances. Click the link and the password is "JazzHands". Then simply create your entry and join Kramer on The Strike line.

For you noobs...a historical catch you up. Please make your checks out to The Human Fund.

What makes a Cajun Ragin'?

Don't tell Kirby, but I'm extending the 24 hour rule before we get real serious about the next opponent because yes indeed I actually do remember Nicholls State oh Lord Jesus can we please have nice things? 

Last night I was reminded that we opened with UL Lafayette in Aaron Murray's first game back in 2010, as well as this tailgate video Nama cooked up...with plenty of Tabasco.

Go Dawgs!

"He doesn't care for auburn!"

What follows has zero (0) footage of The Bagman, Zero.

Coach Richt in motion

Was going through some notes last night and realized I'd left a couple things from last week in the notebook. Nothing important or wordy to add. Just some videos to close out an era.

First off, Richt stands up to a local radio asshat after 2012 SECCG.

I had this Vine from the SEC Carwash this summer up throughout the season. Not sure why I find it so humorous. It's just a classic.

And you probably saw this one making the rounds yesterday. Nice curtain call. Go Dawgs!

Sixth Annual Bowl Pool - The Feats of Strength

Previously known as #Festivus4TheDawgNus, this bowl pool is the only one you'll find that is brave enough to drag the Festivus Pole out of the crawl space and cheers uncontrollably at the sight of Sony's Jazz Hands.

For you lifers, sorry about the name change. As I set it up, ESPN told me the name for that group had already been taken. Personally, I suspect the title may have been intercepted. But that's just me in my 2015 dark place talking.

Enough of the melodrama, here's the deets: click the link below and enter the password, create your entry as well as your entry's name; the bowl selection is "straight", so you're only picking winners (no spread and no confidence points to negotiate); feel free to share the link (preferably through this blog post, or look for the tweet and/or bookface posts. Then just sit back and watch how badly I beat everyone!!

CLICK HERE TO ENTER

PASSWORD = thehumanfund

If you're unfamiliar with the celebration of Festivus you are still allowed to enter my bowl pool. But you first must watch "The Strike" episode in its entirety (check your listings for TBS "Seinfeld" reruns) or simply use his clip to get you started.

Friday Misery - "propelled by some mysterious drive"

A few things before I call an audible.
1. This was a hectic travel week.
B. The several paragraphs for this post I did manage to write were chop blocked garbage.
4. Y'all know already I want to win this game.
And C. I've grown tired of being that guy standing on his lawn yelling into a tornado to get of my lawn.

So today, something different. I mean, only two of you are actually at home instead of in a line at a Wal-Mart to save $50 on a 27" flat screen, and have internet connectivity, and aren't in a food coma. Meanwhile, the family and I have about 500 miles to cover between my in-laws and my birthday bourbon. So, let's chat! Most of I-85 has decent cell signal.

To participate you must be over eighteen years of age, you have to watch the video (NSFW) below as it is today's theme song, and you have to have already read every single #FridayMisery in its entirety. Or, at least a half of one.

And please, send in your qualified comments/questions. Preferably in the comments below, but you can also tweet one to me with #FridayMisery tagged (for disclosure and publication approval) and I'll find a way to add it.

Now, some narcissism, some OCD. (again, NSFW)

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What? You need inspiration? C'mon man. Let's beat the enginerds! Go Dawgs!

Auburn week - early thought on the offense

Not that I know anything about offensive strategery, but we need to get Keith Marshall and Sony Michel on the field at the same time. As I said last night, I was pleased to see the "Wild Dawg" formations and how it utilized some of our greatest offensive speed in Godwin and Michel. I would assume we might even see them throw the ball some this Saturday on the plains.

Maybe. Just a thought.

Another one is to just take Lambert out of the huddle instead of splitting him out wide. Let Michel option to Marshall. And let Godwin and Mitchell speed sweep and aid in the misdirection of the defense. We're not utilizing #4 and #26 enough and it's clear the coaches have little to no faith in our quarterbacks' ability to stretch the field vertically. So do everything we can to stretch it from sideline to sideline.

Another reason why we should give the ball to Marshall more - he's better than Michel between the tackles. Sony gets there so fast. The blocking is virtually the same as we saw for Chubb, but no back in America has the vision Chubb does. Running Sony into the line has bursts of several yards. Use Marshall more on just some of those and he'll break one open...like we've seen in Opelika before.

Humpday Hilarity - Emma?

Even in a digital world, is paper truly dead? (h/t Mac)

Friday Misery - the one where Dawg fans don't drink whine

ATTN: the weekend's hashtag is.......(drumroll....)..... ......  ...........#JazzHandsOnCheckerboard

Don't get your panties in a wad now, but I'm sitting this one out. For those of you who are going, be sure to pay attention during pregame when they retire Derek Dooley's pants. Surprised it didn't take them longer to get the shit stains out.

And I'm also hearing they'll commemorate the signature win loss of the Butch Jones Era at halftime by retiring the official "Butch Please 2-pt Conversion Chart". Not sure why the chart is laminated, or that there's even a chart at all since the only words on it are "Go for won. #brickbybrick".

If your mind wanders though, take some time to ponder this - what the hell is up with Tennessee quarterbacks and their expansive foreheads?

On today’s episode of wOrD PLaY!!..

If you rearrange the letters in the phrase “ain’t no smoggy smoke on Rocky Top” you get “Wendy’s drive-thru pulled pork sammich”.

Butch might be slang for “rugged manhood” but it is also Latin for “fake juice fail”.

A Prius in Knoxville = getaway car. Add a BB gun on the floorboard = #ThugLyfe

Pig Howard spelled backward is “we’ll miss the speed with which you fumble through our endzone”. Or if you prefer acronyms - TTFNPIG.

Put the name Jancek or Willie in a wordfind and they’ll always fall to the bottom. Diagonal. And backwards.

BONUS ROUND!!!! - -

-Christmas present DOES or DOES NOT = giving your daughter a hickie? (think hard y'all)

-Heinz IS or IS NOT a barbeque sauce?

-See Dick run. See Jane run. See Sean Jones scoop and score!

-Bill Bates is to Herschel as a horsefly is to ________________.

A. steamroller B. windshield

C. WWII era M18 Hellcat tank D. All of the things that kick a horsefly's ass

STRAIGHTEN UP YOUR BROKE ASS STANKY LEG!!

Sometimes I swear we snuck into some Knoxville frat house and drank up their shelves of boxed fermented grapes.

"My shoe is untied."

"They shoulda left Lambert in."

"I'm hungry."

"I'm tired of losing big games."

"Why can't we beat Alabama? I hate that you guys. I REALLY hate that."

"This rain is really getting me all wet."

"They shoulda put Ramsey in sooner."

"My sweet tea is too sweet."

"Oh Look! They're doing that dancing thing!"

We've become a DawgNation of whiners - "I don't like the way Coach Richt walks." We bitch and moan about every little thing - "Did you notice they don't play any songs from before 1972 over that loudspeaker. It's all new age crap." We spend an abundance of energy trying to find something unique to complain about - "If Lambert would lace his right cleat a little tighter the ball would be easier to grip. 'Specially in the rain."

"Oh LOOK! A squirrel!" - chases squirrel around yard until dizzy, passes out, wakes up with leaves in mouth, eventually remembers his Dawgvent password, logs back in

Vomit.

I don't mind (and even understand) the frustration. But we need to have a solution or two for every time our lips part ways with some whiny ass thought. We need to offer some idea, some small notion as to how the situation could be improved. We need to change our underwear y'all.

If you don't like the quarterback depth chart, start a petition to have four more years of eligibility. Then start another one that forbids players from entering the NFL draft until they're 25. That way Aaron Murray would be in his third senior season. (Hey Honey...check my math on that.)

If you don't like burnt toast, adjust your toaster's settings. 

"Brick by brick and box by box. Rocky Top!"

If you don't like having a sore ass, either stop shoving a funnel up there or move to Knoxville.

If you're so hung up on losing a game that you haven't worn deodorant all week and you've forgotten your kids' names, maybe now's a good time to take up candle making. If you're so pissed off at the world that you'd "BOO!!" you're own damn team, it's time you got fitted for that straight jacket or move on to a team that plays on Sundays.

We talk too much about history. (OH&BTW, that's something I warned about last Friday AHEM!). We need to live in the NOW. We need to pay attention to the road in front of us before we run right into a HillBilly Hoedown and get our nose broke. We need to take our eyes off the rear view mirror before Bama beats us twice.

We need to be some goddamn Georgia fans and not a bunch of sissies that can't keep from picking the Fruit of the Looms out from our crack. Tennessee stands before us slack-jawwed and droopy-eyed. Punch em right square in the mouth and watch them crumple into a pile of brick dust.

THAT is the task at hand. THAT is what WE do. Don't wait for them to blow another lead. We don't need other teams' blueprint because we brought our own gotdamn blueprint - let Floyd loose and run Chubb all damn day!

Folks on rocky top "get their corn from a jar". But tomorrow they get their ass handed to them on a silver platter.

Please bow your heads...dear Lord, the Baby Jesus, and Larry Munson, please let Keith Marshall run free. And don't let Josh Dobbs' ugly rub off on 'Zo Carter when he gets all those sacks tomorrow. Go Dawgs!

Nick Chubb vs the 585lb squat

From Lucas Rogers of BulldawgIllustrated...

Nick Chubb squatting 585 like it's nothing! https://t.co/QLIFwc4pxO

— Lucas Rogers (@LucasRogersBI) July 24, 2015

Damn.

"Strikes and gutters, ups and downs."

Hey look! All this down time and I still remember how to embed a vid.

Back when I told y'all I was slowing things down here I didn't expect things to get to such a crawl. Not going to apologize of course, it's just that suddenly life got up and got busy. What have I been doing while slacking off on blogging this offseason? Since you asked, changing jobs is one...lots of projects around the house...said goodbye to a 16 year relationship with our old water heater, and all I got as a parting gift was an insurance claim...watched all of Sons of Anarchy...

However, I do have some things working. I should have a Georgia football related book review up in a day or so. Joining Weiszer and Page on their Bulldog Bytes Podcast later this week. And hoping SEC Media Days will provide some blog fodder. Actually, has it ever not?

And to be perfectly honest, the down time has been nice. The feeling the need to write something each night to post the next morning had gotten to me. Things will pick up in August as camp breaks and the season looms nearer on the horizon. In some way, it will pick up around here as well. Just not at the break neck speed of a five star blogger.

I think Rivals has downgraded me to a two star. Which is about right when you consider my forty time.

Humpday Hilarity - "It's a trick Gen. Sherman!!"

God, I miss Grizzard. And I know you do too.

You're my boy Greg Blue!

Happy Birthday to the Magnificent De-Cleater himself!

Conley catches our attention, again.

I won't copy the entire letter here, mostly because I'm sure you've read it by now. But when I absorbed Chris Conley's words and reflected back on his career at UGA, here's the sentence that resonated the most with me:

"If my example has reached just one person and encouraged him to be better, I have accomplished so much more than I deserve."

A self-proclaimed "2-3 star" that came to campus with a wimper by recruiting standards, but leaves in a roar after having giving so much on the field. And yet even more off of it.

Blutarsky is right, it's as if Damn Good Dawg will never be enough to describe 31.

Godspeed and GATA Chris.

Happy Demarcus Dobbs Day!

He's the only Dawg in the fight. But I thought this video was pretty funny. Enjoy. (h/t Rex)

There's no place like home.

Realize I'm late to the party (been a bit busy trying to find the CFB Playoff consolation game on ESPN).

But dude, no. Just...no.

Georgia is in the process of lining up a neutral site nonconference football game in Atlanta in an upcoming season, athletic director Greg McGarity said on Monday night.

“I think that is something that will be in our future,” McGarity said on the “Bulldog Hotline” radio show. “I’m not sure how quickly. Maybe sooner than later. Those are all things that I think are good for our program to be in Atlanta. I think there’s definitely a good chance that’s going to happen sooner than later.”

How is it good for Georgia to play a game in Atlanta? You know, as opposed to 60 miles away...at home?

I know I've been hard on the ol' athletic director of late. With good reason. But we were just getting back around on speaking terms. There are men making a profession of coaching tackle football at Butts-Mehre that are getting paid commiserate to their peers now. We've come a long way since Bobo flew off into the sunset.

And now that weasel wants me to ride MARTA again? In August? To quibble with scalpers?

And then there's this:

"With the guarantee that goes along with those games," McGarity said, "you can more than make up what the revenue would be for missing a home game, at least for the institution."

Well. As long as the fat cats and dipshits get their cash, screw the hotels, motels, restaurants, stadium employees, liquor stores, Waffle Houses, local charcoal industry, not to mention the poor miserable bastards like me that just like to go spend a Saturday in Athens as opposed to Atlanta, elbow to elbow with hobos, freaks, corrupt councilpersons, and transplanted yankees from <University X>.

Eff it dude. (nsfw)

Humpday Hilarity - I'm spinnin' dreidels...

Partly for my kids that absolutely hate it when I "dance" to Shake it Off!. But mostly for everyone that loves a good parody, especially during the Holiday Season.

"Where's your Christmas spirit? An eye for an eye!"

Don't let the tinsel distract you. Only five more days to get your entry into the bowl pool.

#Festivus4TheDawgNus
password = thehumanfund

And another fake charity was born onto this day...

"1980 was a pretty damn big year."

Lindsay Scott, speaking the truth. If you know of someone who hasn't added 1980 Dawgs: The Inside Story of the National Championship Season to their DVD collection, I would once again like to highly recommend it. Here's a trailer to whet your appetite.

For more information including how to order a copy, visit 1980 Dawgs.com.