Talking season blues

Still reeling over Sunday's Failure at Foley. Coach Johnson has me ever hopeful. But we have to be able to find better pitching than that. Ugh.

But a CWS run was a needed break from CFB talking season. It's a tough time to be a fan. Gone are the days when you just had to worry about how many days were left until kickoff. Now there's that, and all of the many and varied opinions about what is best for the sport we so dearly love.

Coach Smart took aim last week at the transfer portal. And rightly so. Like him, I hold an SEC Championship in very high regard. And while his staff and players were preparing for the 2024 SECCG, they were also dealing with players, both publicly and privately, readying to jump ship.

Can your Coach Goff era mind even imagine such a thing?! The playoff bracket hadn't even been dealt with and players are looking for "better" opportunities elsewhere.

Let's be honest with ourselves. We know Kirby Smart isn't leaving Athens for the NFL, much less any other program. But I can totally see the 24/7/365 recruiting of both future and current players, managing all of the egos, NIL deals, etc....driving him away. And I wouldn't blame him.

Speaking of the CFB playoff bracket, we do see one positive change. Unfortunately the talk of expanding the format from 12 to 16 seems to gain more traction, but at least they have fixed the seeding problem. Now the top four teams will get the top four seeds (hard to believe it took even this long to figure that out). 

Many years ago I wrote here that I just wished the SEC would secede from the NCAA and have it's own championship. Why does it need the Atlantic to Pacific conference or that diluted mixture of midwestern powerhouses and downright wannabes? Bring a nice cupcake in mid-season, keep any cross-conference rivalries if you want. Then make a 10 game gauntlet by GOD! schedule and rake in all the Mickey money you need want.

Oh well, just some words to dream by...

I am excited about the 2025 version of our Georgia Bulldogs that is shaping up. I bet Kirby already has the right message for them to start the season. Keep striking through those summer calendar days, then let's get after that ass!

Friday's Miserable Meatloaf - Lemme introduce you to Beecher

I first met him several years ago. Maybe as many as ten. Honestly, I don't remember. But I know it was before this here blog started puttering upstream along The Internet. And I know it was after my second stint through UGA, which puts the meeting somewhere between beating Arkansas for the first SECCG and that time we drank all the beer in Tempe.

Speaking of beer, I was in a bar downtown having one and this guy comes in like a runaway train. By that I mean his entrance was a chaotic event that miraculously evaded complete and utter catastrophe an incidental death. An action as simple as opening a door and entering a room instantly became a calamity of flailing arms and legs; glasses were tossed into the air creating various flight paths for the beer, whiskey, and margaritas they had previously contained; a seeing eye dog panicked while aiding in the transition of his owner from table to restroom; napkins and swizzle straws multiplied in mid-air like rabbits on a dewy April lawn; in the corner a jukebox abruptly stopped playing the second chorus of Layla; and a waitress lost all manner of control of her language just as the room became otherwise deafly silent.

"GODDAMNIT BEECHER! YOU CAN'T F***ING BARGE THROUGH THE MOTHERF***ING DOOR LIKE A GODDAMN HYENA!!"

She yelled this at the height of her tumult through the air having tripped over Beecher's leg (or maybe it was his arm) which had propelled the tray of drinks toward a large table of thirsty patrons. After making sure the seeing eye dog didn't leave his owner abandoned and then helping the waitress to her feet, I offered a hand to pull this rangy, awkward stranger up from the floor.

"Thanks mister. At least I didn't spill beer in Rowena's hair this time. That really pisses her off."

"Not a problem. Let me get you a cold one. Looks like you could use a moment of stationary rehydration."

As he drank from the frosted mug, I marveled at how strangely tall Beech was. If he was six feet and a half, roughly 74 inches of that were his legs. Which might explain where all the beer went if just one of those legs were hollow.

We sat and chewed the fat for what seemed the whole afternoon, all the way through Happy Hour. Then moved from the bar to a corner booth where Rowena took our dinner order, surprisingly, without a single f-bomb. Somehow, in some way, Beecher had been forgiven for causing what surely amounted to six unhappy customers, $50 of broken barware, two and half tables of soggy pub food, and a black lab with post-traumatic stress disorder.

And that's how I met Beecher O'Callaghan.

Today's Ingredients
- Supposedly, there's like just over 200 days left until college football in Sanford begins again. Nothing is more miserable than this cold, melancholy, heartless winter we refer to as The Offseason.
- Personally, I've been biding time Raylan up in Harlan County. And also with Tuco and Mike and some skater dudes, as well as the world's best lawyer. The only one that can argue an executioner down from the death penalty to six months of rehab. Saul Goodman.

- And hey! The Hoop Dawgs are doing swell! Just in time for a visit from Bruce Pearl and those Auburn whateveryoumaycallits.
- And baseball starts this weekend! The Diamond Dawgs take the field in the shadow of a newly renovated Foley Field against the Eastern Illinois Panthers. PING!!
- From the Lies and other Sexy Half-Truths file, Blutarsky finds new Atlanta Falcons linebackers coach Dan Ulbrich still on the UCLA recruiting trail.
- Over at The Lady Sportswriter, Kimberley wonders if the Terry College of Business could swing Roquan Smith's decision in UGA's favor.
- Congrats to Marc Weiszer of the ABH on getting some recognition for his hard work. (h/t Emerson)
- At Dawn of the Dawg, Michael Collins asks a popular question - Is Georgia football underachieving or just unlucky?
- Assuming a competent SEC officiating crew (ahem!. Ok, I'll wait for the laughter to stop....)...Greg Poole sees where the new rule for linemen being downfield would've changed the outlook of the 2013 Auburn-Bama game.
- Lastly, stay cute Rutgers.

If you're a fellow Heathen heading to the Rock Show tonight at the 40 Watt, let me buy you a drink. Better yet, buy me one!

The reason I wanted you to meet Beecher today is wide and varied. Of the many characters I've created over the years, he's the most simple, honest, kind-hearted, complex, awkwardly amazing, and down to Earth. He's never been on a beer commercial, but I believe him to be the most interesting man in my favorite college town.

Ten or so years ago I had intended to get to know him better. I aimed to tell his stories to the world and let them chuckle heartily while being humbled. But I've neglected ol' Beecher. Partly due to time constraints, sure. It's a burden on your free time being a hotshot blogger with at least four and up to as many as twelve readers. But mostly I've neglected Beecher O'Callaghan because it was just too easy not to start something when I wasn't sure where it would lead.

Now, for better or worse, I'm gonna go see where that road leads.

No, I'm not leaving. Not in the least. Any morning I wake up and have a fresh thought to share or a rant to righteously impart, you'll find it here. Hell, maybe I'll even share another tall tale from the O'Callaghan memoirs here or there. But other than that, my pauses and stops along the way towards autumn may linger a little longer than usual.

To be honest, part of me says it's really none of your business and you probably don't care. Which means there's no real reason to post this diatribe at all. But I've grown fond of my readers here. Mom and Pops raised me to treat others as you'd have them treat you. So just don't be too alarmed if the posts gather some dust in between themselves. As Beecher'd say, "All we are is dust in a breeze." Guess he's not much of a fan for Kansas' music. Regardless, that breeze is aiming this writing vane towards that hole in the wall bar in downtown Athens. Rowena's handing us a mop and telling us to clean that shit up.

Stay upright and true amigos.

Bernie

Tuesday's Meatloaf - of fees and Fezziks

[Half of this post has been sitting in the oven for awhile. And I just didn't quite finish it (again) Sunday night. So to keep it from being terribly overcooked for yet another week, you get a very rare edition of Tuesday's meatloaf. Enjoy!]

-------------------------------------------

Hello this is Bank of American Corporate Greed in America, how may I direct your call to someone who can actually pretend to give a damn?

Well, what happened was I was going to the grocery store on Christmas Eve to get some last minu...

via

One moment...[insert Nickelback muzak]....[it's actually better this way I think]....[wonder if muzakians are Canadian too..] ...

Good afternoon. This is Chalonda. How can I disappoint you today?

You charged me a fee for someone else's bad check. I'd like that money credited back to my account.

I'm sorry sir. It's ours now and we're keeping it. You should be more careful who you take checks from in the future. Can I interest you in a Money Market accou...

He was a kid! Stranded on the side of the road with no gas. I gave him a ride to the gas station and gave him some money. Did I mention it was Christmas Eve?!!?

Sir, he didn't have $20 in his account to cover his reimbursement. Maybe you can be charitable with your cash, but we're going to bill his bank for every cent we can. Now, how about that...

It was Christmas Eve DAMMIT! I was being nice and now you're penalizing me for it?

Yes. Is there anything else I can not help you with today sir?

Okay. I guess just one thing. How much is the fee for closing my accounts?

...[insert Nickelback muzak]....

Yes. It's definitely better this way. Here's a plate reader. No fees added.

Today's Ingredients
- First up, Emerson covers a wide variety of red and black topics in this post, hopefully the first of many On the beats.
- Not a great start this weekend for the Diamond Dawgs, especially the pitching staff. But this is a nice preview to the season and its expectations by MaconDawg.
- After the latest NCAA tune-up, Blutarsky revs the HUNHcycle engine.
- Speaking of slowing the game down, if you haven't already, be sure you catch Spencer Hall's A Very Bielema Valentines Day before the roses wilt.
- Over at Georgia Sports Blog, PWD runs down the odds of Fox's re-energized team making the NIT. And Tyler looks at just how Fox out-coached the guy that'd rather placate Marshall Henderson's ego than his wife's libido.
- Hoop Dawgs looks at the player at the center of this hardcourt resurgence - Charles Mann.
- Bulldawg Illustrated has a nice Q&A with new Georgia Bulldog offensive lineman Dyshon Sims' mother.
- Kimberley looks a little closer at the defensive end that flipped his commitment to Georgia over the weekend.
- Good weekend for former UGA golfers. Congrats to Bubba, Harris English and friend of the blog Brian Harman!
- Lastly, just wanted to make sure you caught this Valentines Day themed post by Garbin. Just another great read you will not want to have missed.

Heard about this pic (or one similar to it) on the latest 1Beer1Song podcast. Being a longtime member of the Brute Squad fan of the movie The Princess Bride I felt compelled to catalog it here.

That's just fantastic. Unfortunately, they don't sell this shirt any more. Which is clearly not fantastic. Oh well.

But if there's another thing Fezzik taught me other than how to rhyme away the time, it was that it's important to encourage one another. Whether you're futilely throwing punches at a man twice your size or wiggling your finger after being mostly dead all day, it's important to recognize good effort and good progress. And here in the middle of February, when the height of the off season is still nowhere in sight and the journey seems to only get longer with each passing day, I just want you to feel you are doing well.

Keep it up! I believe in you! At least you didn't get your 

degree form Auburn! You look great in that Halocaust cloak dude!

It's also a time when a college football heavy blog can get pretty difficult to keep afloat. But you should know I've got some exciting developments on the horizon. And I've also been compiling a list of important off season topics we should discuss at length and ad nauseam and to the nth degree as well.

So stay tuned. And until then, here's you fork Reader. Have a great Tuesday!

Bernie

More Strict-lin

Folks. The Scott Stricklin era officially began yesterday. The coaches and players took the field which gave the media a chance to get a peek into what's been going on since the new regime took over earlier this summer.

Stricklin collaborated with his strength coach, Ryan Gearheart, who came with him from Kent State, to begin the change. Gearheart has instituted a football-like environment in the weight room, facilitating daily competitions between players. That has created a new energy in the locker room that second baseman Nelson Ward said has been lacking for a couple years.

“Now instead of dreading going to the weight room we’re looking forward to it, looking forward to trying to beat somebody each day,” said pitcher Pete Nagel, who missed last season due to Tommy John surgery.

That's just one small part. The players also talk about the differences in the rules and expectations and the general feeling overall. Good read. Perhaps sophomore Sean McLaughlin put it best:

“It was definitely just a different ball game once he stepped in here."

So, what'd I miss?

Spent all day yesterday reading up on things. Of course, some of what happened while I was away I caught through some twitters and some email. But yesterday was my first real chance to catch up. So here goes.

Of course, there were a few commitments for the 2014 class. Friend of the blog Jason suggested I stay in Costa Rica for the benefit of recruiting. Unfortunately, Coach Richt did not return my requests for money. That really bummed the wife out...

Alas, the Dawgs may not need such drastic measures. Getting Chubb, Parrish and Park added to the commitment list last week sets the momentum for what could be another good summer for Richt. Even though it's hard to get excited about something that's not official for several more months, there's no denying that the positive news catches other recruits eyes. And Kipp Adams does a great job of outlining ($) the top prospects that Richt is still after in the upcoming class.

Freshman Reggie Wilkerson will be out this season after tearing up his knee. The early-enrollee was expected to compete at cornerback some this fall as well as special teams, especially after a good spring.

New diamond skipper Scott Stricklin was unable to lure away his Kent State pitching coach Mike Birkbeck, who chose to remain as the Golden Flash's pitching coach.

Next, Florida had a player was arrested. But it wasn't anything serious like an invalid license or anything. So I don't think it interrupted any AJC Sports department meetings. Don't get Chippy!! Still, this isn't the kind of leadership Muschamp wants from his probable starting middle linebacker. Hopefully the judge asks Morrison to state his name before the case is thrown out.

Tennessee has found a neat way to avoid having to add up any bowl expenses...fail more classes!!

Johnny Manziels wants out of College Station, even though he loves it so, but not before his twitter followers walk in his shoes. I'm as yet unclear as to which high profile sporting event they will need to meet him at to complete such a request. Stay tuned.

I also want to say thanks to Marshall for the kind words. Y'all should check out his writing at The Piedmont Chronicles. Good stuff, especially for you local history buffs.

Stricklin ready for the challenge

It shouldn't be lost on us that Georgia's new baseball coach left his alma mater to take over our struggling program. And by this quote from his introduction yesterday you can already see he embraces challenges.

Stricklin has a catcher’s background and has been a pitching coach, so pitching and defense will figure heavily into his philosophy. Since the NCAA toned down bats, the three-run home run has diminished in importance in favor of the bunt and hit and run. Stricklin plans to use small ball but hesitates to call himself a small-ball coach.

“If you go back and watch that game at Kent State when we beat Oregon in the regional final — I’ve watched it several times, it’s fun to watch — we got a leadoff walk, a sacrifice bunt and a bloop single and we go to Omaha,” Stricklin said. “I don’t necessarily say that we play small ball. There’s times to bunt. But there’s times to hit and run. There’s times to steal bases. Putting pressure on defenses and keeping defenses guessing is important. If they know what you’re doing, it’s a lot easier to defend.”

Stricklin's challenges won't start and end with trying to beat Vanderbilt and South Carolina. He's already thrown into a fund raising campaign to renovate Foley Field as well as evaluating his roster against this week's MLB draft, which starts today.

And a tip of the cap to Coach Perno for reaching out to Stricklin. Things didn't work out the way we'd hoped under Perno's watch, but there's no question that Perno is a Damn Good Dawg.

Around campus this morning...

Quick look at the headlines this morning brings some news to stir into your coffee. First, Scott Stricklin as the new baseball coach is official. I think this is a great hire. The more you read about this guy the more it sounds like McGarity went and got the right guy to turn around the program. Again, it's not going to take much.

"Scott Stricklin is a tremendous hire for the University of Georgia; he is a guy who has had a lot of success as a head coach, taking Kent State to the College World Series and perennially has had one of the best and most talented teams in the Midwest," said Baseball America executive editor Jim Callis. "He's got a background coaching in Georgia and in the SEC at Vanderbilt. As a Georgia alum, I was thrilled by the hire as well."

But we need to continue to keep a watchful eye here as Stricklin starts to round out his staff. If he can convince Mike Birkbeck to come to Athens as well and take over a talented yet raw pitching staff, things will look even better around Foley Field. Birkbeck has been putting top draft picks into the MLB draft, but could stay at Kent State as Stricklin's replacement.

Former player Jonas Hayes has been named as Kwanza Johnson's replacement. This has been expected for a few weeks and comes as welcome news for older fans of the program. Hayes should do a good job for Fox. He'll almost certainly work with big men as well as try and lure young talent to Athens (although there's not a whole lot of recruiting to be done in the coming year unless more spots unexpectedly open up). Yes, Hayes was an easy choice here. Looking forward to seeing what he can do developing players and recruiting for Fox.

Is Kenarious Gates Richt's "most indispensable offensive player"? I don't ask that as a slight against  the very versatile big man here. But I'd personally give the nod to a fifth year quarterback or a sophomore sensation at running back.

Speaking of football, tomorrow a limited number of single game tickets to North Texas and Kentucky will go on sale at GeorgiaDogs.com.

More on the coaching search

Was digging around and found this video chat where the guys from Baseball America discuss Perno's dismissal and the coaching search that is developing. Interesting that they agree it is one of the top positions in the country, but just aren't sure how much money will be invested with the hire.

Ron Polk ain't walking through that door again

Nor do we need him to. Despite just releasing its coach from his contract yesterday, Georgia baseball is in a good position to bring back a winning tradition. The current roster is stable. The recruiting grounds are near and plentiful. And the program has a history of success. The park has even had some recent upgrades. (Although it could stand a full overhaul, that's a post for another day.) Still, all in all it's not a bad place to manage a college baseball team. And, there's the draw of being able to not only play against the Southeastern conference, but also in nearby professional parks like Turner Field and Coolray.

Additionally, the HOPE Scholarship program allows the coach to utilize his roster more efficiently and work around the limitations of the 11.5 cap. A smart kid with talent can still get a full ride at Georgia without the coaches having to award a full point towards his glove. That's a huge advantage against Georgia's competitors.

All of them really, except for one. Danny Hall arrived at Georgia Tech just as the HOPE Scholarship was building walls around the state of Georgia keeping its top tier graduates in. Hall has flourished on North Avenue during his 20 years, mainly because he's a good coach and a great recruiter. Perno was doing a good job of keeping up and even pulling ahead before things turned in a different direction. He was an aggressive recruiter. When it was working, the results easily followed. When it wasn't, the wheels came off.

All of that to say that despite the absolute nightmare that was this past season, this baseball team can be a quick fix. A large part of the squad that absolutely embarrassed their in state rival is back. They're also the team that didn't back down from Vanderbilt last month, a team that had one of the best seasons ever in SEC baseball. Georgia will get Nagle (P), Stephens (C) and Welton (OF) back next season after losing them to injuries for the duration of 2013's schedule. Key components are in place to turn things around quickly. What's not in place is a coach.

Enter Greg McGarity. The still fairly new athletic director at Georgia who has not had to make a big hire as yet. He's replaced a coach in three women's sports thus far: volleyball, golf and gymnastics. Unlike those coaching searches, this one will define him in the eyes of many alumni and fans. As Tyler points out, this is the guy that will likely lead the search to find Mark Richt's eventual successor. There's also a decent chance he'll be looking for a new hoops coach as well. We're going to learn something about how he conducts these searches and how well he sells the University of Georgia.

Will he enter those future searches on the firm ground of having jump started his baseball program back on the road to success? Despite the last few years and despite the need for better facilities for the program, the head coaching job for Georgia baseball is still one of the elite spots in the nation. Will McGarity treat it as such?

Who will replace Coach Perno?

McGarity acted swiftly and dismissed David Perno yesterday. Now he'll begin the search for a candidate that can bring the program back to the level Georgia enjoyed in Perno's earlier years.

Aaron Fitt at Baseball America has a pretty comprehensive list of coaches that may or may not be on McGarity's radar. The real question on Georgia baseball fans' minds is how aggressive we'll be in pursuing a proven coach. And that's why I like Fitt's list. He has a number of hot head coaches' names as well as some assistants that may be ready for a big step up.

The Card's Dan McDonnell is 258-128 in Louisville.

If Georgia wants to make a major financial commitment, it might start by approaching some of college baseball’s most successful established head coaches, like Louisville’s Dan McDonnell, Virginia’s Brian O’Connor, TCU’s Jim Schlossnagle or Kent State’s Scott Stricklin. None of those coaches would be an easy hire, but Georgia has the resources to shoot for the moon. Mid-major head coaches like South Alabama’s Mark Calvi, UCF’s Terry Rooney, Samford’s Casey Dunn, Mercer’s Craig Gibson, Illinois State’s Mark Kingston or College of Charleston’s Monte Lee could also make intriguing targets.

Or the Bulldogs could try to land the next O’Connor, Tim Corbin or Kevin O’Sullivan—all of whom were can’t-miss prospects as assistant coaches who have been hugely successful in their first head coaching stints at major-conference schools. If Georgia decides to take that route, it figures to look at North Carolina’s Scott Forbes, Virginia’s Kevin McMullan, Arkansas’ Todd Butler, Mississippi State’s Butch Thompson or Mississippi’s Cliff Godwin.

Inserting the obvious pun here, I'd love to see our AD swing for the fences. As Fitt mentions, there's no shame in getting a top assistant that has proven his value to college baseball both on the playing field and in the recruiting fields. Fitt mentions Brian O'Connor for a reason. He spent years as an assistant proving his worth before getting the job in Charlottesville. And that move has paid off in spades for the Cavaliers. O'Connor has been named ACC coach of the year three times and national coach of the year twice.

For me, it's just easier for McGarity to go after a proven head guy. All he has to do is open the check book. Georgia is fertile ground in recruiting with excellent talent coming from both the Atlanta area and south Georgia. Plus, the head coach at Georgia enjoys the added bonus of being able to utilize the HOPE Scholarship to manage the roster. That's like printing money in terms of being able to fill out a roster with talent without strapping your program's scholarship counts.

Will McGarity make the big move and try to lure one of these proven coaches to Athens? Or will he settle in on a safe name and save some money? Either way, we're about to learn something about our baseball program and our athletic director.

Diamond Dawgs give Perno one last win over gators

It was a special afternoon at Foley yesterday. Chance Veazey and Johnathan Taylor were back on the field for Senior Day and the Dawgs took the series against Florida with a 9-2 win. And very swiftly attention turned towards the future. That's what happens when you only outpace Auburn to stay out of the SEC cellar and miss the tournament.

On the one hand, the team will be talented and experienced next season. Replacing Kyle Farmer will be a challenge, but for the most part the roster will stay intact. On the other hand, we're facing a coaching search in the coming weeks. That's all but assured.

Even if you're not a baseball fan, it will be important to keep a close eye on how McGarity handles the program. This will be the biggest hire and interviewing process for him during his tenure as Georgia's athletic director.

As for Perno, his legacy will always be strong at the University of Georgia. How many coaches get a chance to lead the program for which they won a national title on for 12 seasons? How many coaches have to lead a program through not one but two career ending spinal injuries to key players?

Diamond Dawgs fall to gators

Florida rallied in the ninth of a close game at Foley. Coupled with Missouri's win against Kentucky, this officially eliminates Georgia from the post-season SEC Tourney.

“It was a longshot coming in and we knew it,” Georgia coach David Perno said. “It’s just been one of those years. Maybe that win on Tuesday (14-13 at Georgia Tech) was something that we can hang our hat on. They’ll finish the right way. These guys will keep playing the right way. We’re obviously disappointed but we’re playing good baseball. We’re just not scoring enough and making mistakes at the wrong time.”

Georgia and Florida play game two of the series tonight at 7pm. We'll likely go with freshman right-hander Sean McLaughlin on the mound. The final game of the season will be at 2pm on Saturday. Then it's just a matter of when the new coaching search begins.

Just like football!

Diamond Dawgs take the series against Tech for the first time since 2007 and win a game at Russ Chandler for the first time since 2004 with an extra inning 14-13 victory. It was much more dramatic than the Turner Field blowout last month, but we'll take it.

“Our season hasn’t gone the way we’ve wanted it,” Georgia first baseman Jared Walsh said. “But anytime you can win the series against Tech, it’s obviously a blast. We definitely had ambitions when we first came over here to get a win. It didn’t look good the first couple of innings. But we held on.”

Walsh, who missed two games last week after his father died, figured heavily into Georgia’s late-game offense. His RBI double scored Hunter Cole to tie the game 8-8 in the seventh after Georgia had trailed 7-0 going into the fifth. Walsh hit a two-RBI single in the eighth to give Georgia its first lead of the game at 10-8. Then Walsh added the game winner in the 11th inning when his sacrifice fly brought home Curt Powell. 

Perno's squad returns home to face Florida this weekend in the season's final series.

Monday's Meatloaf - but at least my name's not Michael F. Adams

Time to address the elephant in the blog space. You’ve been very kind to keep your questions at a distance while I mourn this loss, this abject failure that will tarnish my legacy as a Georgia Bulldog and UGA alum for years to come. I appreciate your consideration. Let’s muddle our way through this shall we?

(steps up to podium wearing wrinkled golf shorts, his Lebowski t-shirt, wife’s terrycloth robe complete with cheese puff dust and UGA slippers. Readjusts vintage ray-bans and speaks uncomfortably into microphone…)

"Who's the guy outside in house slippers
with a bullhorn?"

If you come here often and/or are one of the unlucky and incredibly misguided souls that follows me on twitter, you know that I launched a campaign to become Prez Adam’s successor. It’s been a longtime ambition of mine, dating all the way back to the time the office of the president was disgraced by a pair of high water lady jeans swinging a leg unathletically in the direction of a rubber ball. In the years since I have been laying in wait, readying myself for the time in which I could restore order to our beloved campus. I planned to put grits back on the menu. I was going to bring morale back even faster than the Timberpond fella brought sexy back. Y'all would be invited to my box at Sanford…anytime. Because that’s where I would live. It has a shower right?

Anyway. It was to be a dream come true. Out with the old fat yankee; and in with the blogger that has wifi and a half empty highball. So long you pestilent pig; hello you long lost Athenian with hundreds of dollars of unpaid parking tickets. Hand over the checkbook you money grubbing freeloader; here’s the key to the executive bathroom Mr…ahem...President Bernie.

But lo, it was not to be. A number of semi-egregious and somewhat shameful transgressions led me to withdraw my candidacy, albeit quietly and with little to no CNN coverage. I will enumerate some of these sins below in an effort to purge myself of the foul taste and the errors of my ways. But before I did that I wanted to thank you for your support and beg y'all to give incoming President Jere Morehead your full support. He may not be able to blog, play cornhole, swill bourbon from the still, cook a grilled cheese sandwich, operate a blender, skim wifi, eat a grilled cheese sandwich, bark, tweet, pour a Guinness correctly, nap on an Orbit bus, or crush souls with his air guitar the way that I can. But he is our new president. And his name isn’t Michael Adams. 

Amen.

Today’s Ingredients

- Speaking of that guy, Blutarsky will miss Adams' penchant for administrative douchebaggery. Although I think he typed that with his tongue in his cheek.
- BigRedBaller catches up with one of Georgia's newest commits - Jeb Blazevich.
- Evidently Tyler spent the last four days with Mel Kiper and a Costco-sized can of hairspray. He runs down the first three rounds, the last four and the undrafted free agents.
- Lady Sportswriter looks at Baccari Rambo's past and future after being selected late by the Redskins.
- More draft stuff from CCRider as he grades out the first round. Have to agree that the EJ Manuel pick by the Bills and the trade up by the Falcons to get Trufant are two very big mysterious decisions.
- Yesterday Mother Nature was kind enough to replace the Hogs' brooms with umbrellas.
- I was about to call bullshit on this piece by Spencer Hall as I was travelling through Grayson GA this weekend, but then I realized that yes...their Blockbuster Video is going out of business too.

Some of my most trivial and unilaterally embarrassing transgressions, ladies and gentlemen. Exposed to you like an English bulldog rolling around on his back next to the famed hedges, I bear to you my soul and only ask that you not hold these sins against my family. They are but innocent bystanders here, as they unpack the boxes that were marked for the presidential estate and let loose the dreams of living between Sanford Drive and East Campus Road. Just above where the trumpet sounds and Dawg hunkers down.

Some of these may seem overly cryptic. Most names were redacted because I enjoy using the word redacted out of context.

He's a little bit taller. But other than that...

*My second junior year at UGA I broke the rope on the Chapel Bell, injured my leg on a rusty nail and had to get a tetanus shot. *After all these years, and considering myself an Athenian, I still don’t particularly care for most of REM’s music. Plus, having met them, they’re assholes. Except Peter Buck. He casually acknowledged my presence.  *I once resorted to dangerous levels of taunting mixed with intense hatred and grotesquely high levels of alcohol in the blood stream, embarrassing myself and my school for telling a Vandy fan to bark like a Dawg. I mean, it’s Vanderbilt dude. Let it go. *This one time, at band camp… *South Carolina peaches are better than Georgia’s. (Dear God that hurt out loud.) *I never had sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky, even back when that seemed to be the popular thing to do. *I have a filthy vocabulary and recently had to pay a fine for absolutely no %$#!@ reason.  *JASPER’S KNEE WAS DOWN GODDAMNIT!!! *During my first sophomore campaign I was caught taking sandwiches out of Bolton Dining Hall one Friday evening. I was on the five day plan, not the seven. This made for some intense hunger pains on Sunday nights while Homer chastised Flanders about not drinking Duff beer. Still, I knew it was wrong. *In yet another Chapel Bell incident Fred, Nama and I were scolded by undercover UGA cops pretending to make out for ringing it too late in the evening. WTF? *I hate gators too much. And yet not enough. Both at the same time. I’m flawed people. Turn your heads in shame. Please! *Recently, while on a boat, I molested a mic stand while singing Jesse’s Girl. (Mrs. Bernie is so lucky.) *I’ve worn orange inside of Clempson’s Death Valley. I was very young and it wasn’t my fault. But it was real and it happened. (Shit. Someone please stop me!) *While touring Italy, I photographed David in all his glory even as the guards screamed at me “NO FOTO! NO FOTO!” In my defense, duh! I don't speak Italian. Can't they recognize a tourist taking pictures in a museum? *Later I also posed as David in all my own glory. But I was not accustomed to drinking fermented grapes. Still, this is my burden to carry for my lifetime of agony. *Never once did I invest money with Coach Donnan. That’s "guarandamnteed". *Lastly, and most painfully, while enrolled at UGA my GPA once rose to a level higher than my BAC. Oh God! The shame!

Come to think of it, that might be why I graduated so early after only eight years.

So there it is. A festering wound exposed with one rip of the band-aid. Take a good long look people. Cast your judgmental eyes upon it and pretend that you have no such wound of your own. As the philosopher once said "Hating people will engage themselves in hating behavior, repeatedly." While I'm proud of each one of these acts individually, collectively they have lead to this much deserved and costly consequence. Forever I will be known as the guy that failed to replace the lying, cheating bastard as UGA President, all because I rarely manage my drunk and don't care for "shiny happy people". With the office of president within my grasp, my past came back and ripped it from my clutch before I could cross the goalline. I'm so sorry y'all. I so totally Jordan Reed'd this whole campaign. I can hear Gary Danielson and Uncle Verne countlessly recalling my epic failure.

Quoth the raven, "You suck dude. Eternally."

Well, until the day Morehead gets caught pulling some semblance of a Damon Evans and my alma mater needs a leader to step in. Of course, that Kyle King guy probably will be out of weblogging rehab retirement by then. Anyway, here's your fork Reader. But no napkins today. I used them all to try and clean up this mess.

Bernie

Perno's Diamond Dawgs celebrate Nat'l Spank an EngiNerd Day

Sorry about yesterday. But glad a fire has been lit. Holy crap!

17- zip!! 

Perno's diamond gets rougher

I think Tyler hit on the key point in the sudden dismissal of Diamond Dawg JT Phillips over the weekend. This has to have been the second or third (or more) time the kid had run afoul of Perno's guidance, right? This wasn't a reactionary kick to the curb as the result of a dismal season. Surely.

But we can't be sure. Perno was just cryptic enough in his comments to keep us guessing (around the five and a quarter mark).

My guess would be that Perno is making an example of the kid here and trying to get the attention of the team. I'm not saying there wasn't cause for the consequence Phillips received. There must've been, and the charges the kid is faced with are serious. But just listening to that interview and especially this quote - It’s probably why we’ve sputtered as much as we have because we’ve probably had some guys that haven’t been with us. - says it all: Perno has lost the team and is trying to get them back. Like most any sport, if you lose the attention and the effort of just a fraction of the roster it is enough to send the record into a tailspin.

The result with Vandy, one of the country's best teams, was mixed. So it's hard to read too much into the effect this news had in the dugout. The Diamond Dawgs took one of three but probably could've at least threatened to win the series. In short, the series started out great, but Saturday evening and Sunday were horrific.

With a 4-14 record we are in the cellar and hoping to avoid being mathematically eliminated from the conference tourney in April. Hopefully Perno's message sparks a run with four remaining series to go: Arkansas, Tennessee, South Carolina and Florida. 

One thing's for certain, it won't be easy. But then again, nothing has this season.

McGarity shares some perspective

If you're like most Georgia fans, you're watching AD Greg McGarity a little closer these days. The basketball team is coming off a disappointing season and lost their star player to the NBA. And the baseball team is mired in a season long slump that follows a disappointing 2012 campaign. Even for those who only concern themselves with football, decisions being made right now regarding these two programs could tell us a lot about our athletic director.

And these two links give us a glimpse into that and more. First, Emerson provides the state of the basketball program heading into Fox's fifth season. There's a distinct parallel to the manner in which McGarity is handling it here as compared to after the 2010 football season with Richt. In a word, improvement.

Improvement. During the course of five minutes Monday, McGarity used that word seven times, and he used “improve” twice more.

“It’s like any other program: You look for continuous improvement. We do not, with any coach, set any type of minimum wins, things of that nature. Coaches have enough pressure on them anyway,” McGarity said. “And, even if you ask the coaches, they would probably say the same thing as far as continued improvement. That’s the challenges that lie ahead with every sport. How do we improve every year, how do we get better.”

And for an even deeper look into the thought processes for all things UGA Athletics, here's Anthony Dasher's Q&A with McGarity prompted in part by reader questions. It covers basketball and baseball pretty thoroughly as well as other off season topics surrounding an indoor practice facility, recruiting, funding and student seating at Sanford.

"Facilities are not holding us back from anything. I can promise you that. I just came back from UCLA and I've seen their facilities. I've seen Stanford's facilities. Trust me, they're not winning national championships strictly because of their facilities. Facilities have to be nice and functional. I've seen a lot of facilities at tremendous campuses and in some cases you're asking yourself how are they getting it done because their facilities are not as nice as school A or B. It all gets down to people, it all gets down to relationships of people, coaches and it all gets down to having a great institution that's got a great academic reputation which ours does. Facilities are important, but no way are they the end all."

Personally, I think McGarity hits the nail on the head as far as facilities. Too often people just want more fancy things to look at when the purpose they would serve is minimal. As for people, I'm hoping we see the improvement our AD alludes to as his barometer in determining coaching success/failure. It's a safe way for him to deal with turmoil in those two men's programs today. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Monday's Meatloaf - Can I get a damn ruling? PLEASE!!

Sometimes things just don't measure up. Regardless of any inherent complexity or simplicity of use or time-honored functionality, you eventually arrive at the conclusion that something is still amiss.

I went to sleep Friday night with my golf world in working order. I woke up Saturday morning and it was upside down. Granted, I don't understand the rule book, but as a casual golfer I just need to know that hitting the ball into the lake three times affords me a free hole to just butcher at will. "I DON'T NEED A DROP AREA! I KNOW I CAN HIT IT ACROSS THIS THING. GIVE ME ANOTHER BALL."

You can't double eagle with a 4-wood without
ignoring the rule book Gene.

More importantly, this knowledge affords me peace of mind that once a year when I tune into The Masters. I can rest assured that everything is taken care of and all of the rulings are crystal clear to those in charge. All that is left is to sit back and enjoy a figurative level playing field for all of the golfers on the literal unlevel playing field.

But Tiger's beautifully struck yet unlucky shot on 15 Friday changed everything. More directly, the officials' inability to handle the situation changed everything. And even more directly, when even my own dad was puzzled by what happened my golf world turned completely upside down. My dad was born on a golf course and is my walking rule book for whenever I hit a ball into the lake for the third time.

If he can't sort out the details and explain them to me in weekend hackers' terminology, well...it's all been a sham. We've been bamboozled! The whole mess is a complete farce.

On one hand I'm revoking every penalty stroke I've ever taken. On the other, I know I'm not a scratch golfer. As any body of water that I have ever tried to hit a dimpled ball over can surely attest.

Today's Ingredients
- I mean, check out the exchange in this piece between Luke Glover, an official and Bernhard Langer. 
- “Bernhard asked, ‘What if this whole area was covered with leaves, does that mean it would be unplayable?’” Glover recalled, “and at that point (the official) said it was OK to go ahead and play it.” Wow.
- There's something very Divinci Codesque about today's Curious Index. At least in terms of how Run Home Jack brings the news of Dave Didion's new job.
- As we talked about earlier, today marks an important period for Georgia recruiting. Kimberly updates us on a top tight end.
- Is there anything more underhanded and pollen-filled than spring shenanigans? Blutarsky found some Clempson players undercover at the GDay game. Unknowingly, I returned the favor this past weekend.
- Good news on the diamond, Tyler says the Dawgs are not eliminated from the SEC Tournament. The bad news is that we may not be able to say that much longer.
- Women's tennis....SEC champs! And the men, having sewn up the regular season title last week, head to Oxford for the tourney as the #1 seed.
- Greg discovered some NFL draft prospects acting like they're an 1980's rock band or something.
- Lastly, things are really getting weird at Florida coaching meetings. you have to give Joker the edge here, but this is quality Instagrammmming by Pease.

With something as archaic as The Renowned and Royal Rules of Golf being reduced to just a collection of odd suggestions - When addressing your ball, wink twice with your right eye if you intend to play a fade and three times with your left if you intend to Bubba that ball to death! - I decided to dig a little deeper into the Official and Outlandish Blogging Handbook: a guide to make your internetting smartter. What I discovered was both exotic and expertly simple. Turns out, I've broken every commandment with which this weblogging world was founded upon.

1. Don't ever write about Auburn doing ANYthing wrong. Because when they're wrong, they're also right. It's senseless to point out ANYthing even remotely contradictory to this point.

   

   Aniston is always looking to drive up Google
   page ranks. God bless her body of work.

2. ANYtime you type the word "solidarity" it must be underlined. ANY. Time.
3. Adding pictures of scantily clad women is strongly encouraged. This improves Google ratings for your site. Especially if the picture has little to nothing to do with the blog's topic.
4. Al Gore invented the internet, but Houston Nutt recruited him to do it. So he deserves at least an asterisk reference somewhere in each post. Preferably after a semi-nude picture of Lennay Kekua.
5. Excesssssive typppping doesn't cause carpal tunnnnnel. Chewing gummm while typpppping causes carpppal tunnnnel.
6. Whenever you click the spell check button before posting a computer generated electronic mail message is sent to your third grade teacher. She'd like a word with you before recess.
7. Stealing content from other websites is neither encouraged or discouraged. While the internet was founded by incredibly smart and driven people, it is maintained and managed by lazy folks with cheese dust on their t-shirts. Majority rules. Solidarity.
8. Shoes are optional at all times. But pants are strictly forbidden at ANY time.
9. The word ANY must always be in all caps, and preferably followed at the end of the sentence with multiple (more than three but less than twenty two) exclamation points!!!! !
10. When your blog achieves its own Wiki page, stop and start over again. You've clearly done something wrong. Or maybe too incredibly awesome.

There are 4,294 more rules, but I'm sure you're hungry and tired of reading. Plus, #799 clearly states that you must keep posts as brief as possible. And this is already a long par 4. Here's your napkin. Shirt stains are a two stroke penalty. Maybe.

Bernie

Where's the bottom?

Eight straight losses. Shut out for the first time all season. 8-16 overall. 0-6 in the SEC.

Home and home with Clemson this week. Then a road trip to Lexington. Perno thinks it might be a good time to get out of town and hints that some changes to the lineup may be in order.

Monday's Meatloaf - of fatherly pride and ponytails

We stepped up to the registration desk and I could sense her uneasiness. I've only known her for eight years and 55 weeks, but I know she tenses up in new situations. Especially ones with new faces in new places; surely a character trait I evidently passed down to her. So I put my hand reassuringly on her shoulder, the way a dad does when he knows his kid is the least bit uneasy, and I wondered if she picked up my uneasiness as well.

Because like me, she's also pretty intuitive.

Flag football combine, event 2, distance throw, grade: A+

Months of negotiating had lead us to this point. Of course all of the discussion about playing football had been in private, for the most part. She kept insisting on tackling somebody. And I kept insisting she start with flags on her hips.

It's not that I'm afraid of pads on her shoulders. She can hold her own, trust me. It's just that flags seems the reasonable and logical step. When I first offered that a trail had already been blazed for female place kickers she insisted that she'd be a "quarterbacker" or a linebacker at UGA instead. I quickly recalled it is not in a father's best interest to sell his own daughter short. Ashamed, I quickly told her she could be anything she wants to be, a phrase she and her sister hear about every day from their mother and myself. After all, we'd much rather them reach for the stars than the storm clouds underneath.

So there we were, a year and a half later. Me standing by my promise and her standing at the desk where we knew the question would be raised. I cringed before he even asked. "Okay young lady, are you here for cheerleading?.....(long pregnant pause as the jersey and cleats she's wearing catches up to him)...or flag football?"

"She's here for football," I announced, louder than I had anticipated.

The rest was easy; even easier than the countless minutes of catch in the backyard, the neighborhood games and even the indoor Madden '13 matchups. Yes, as expected, she let her arm and her legs and her knowledge of the game do the talking once we were out on the field. Her pass had a tighter spiral than any of the coaches. Her routes were confident and sharp. She didn't like the cone drill because she didn't get to run it with a ball in her hands - "What's the point of that Dad?" But by the end she had made her point.

Should this experience prove too little of a challenge, I won't push her to continue if she doesn't want to. Just like I won't lower the bar because she's a girl. As far as I'm concerned the most important step is already behind us. And we took it together. Nothing against cheerleading, but she does enough of that on fall Saturdays.

Proud to be her daddy. Her mother, sister and I are pretty sure she will be the best one on the field. Regardless, I have already proven to her that while the world stands and waits for their opportunity to believe in her, I'm already at the front of the line.

Today's Ingredients
- MARCH MADNESS IS HERE!!!!!1 And we're not in it.
- But Tyler has the pool heated up. And here's a link to Kerri's #FBWD pool for you tweeps. Password is "Twittah".
- Hoop Dawg has a season wrap up in a lot more words than I can express.
- And Daugman sums up my thoughts exactly on our early exit from Nashvegas.
- Greg has some communication he'd like to impart, from the line of scrimmage.
- From Blutarsky: Animal husbandry. Cousin lovin'. SEC nuptials. Sometimes they're closer than you think. Maybe that explains WarDamnTiglesmen.
- Dawg Haus looks at the 1984 clash 'tween the hedges of Georgia and Clempson.
- Meanwhile, Kimberly wonders who ya got for the season opener.
- The GymDogs finished the regular season with an impressive road mark.
- Diamond Dawgs...swept out of College Station.
- And the Men's Tennis team took care of the Gamecocks yesterday in Athens.
- Lastly, in case you missed it, make sure you craft beer drinkers catch my talk with Kevin at College Football Zealots. We even sneak in a little spring football talk.

So how was your St. Patrick's Day? Did you end up face down?... in a pool of your own green vomit?...in the middle of Savannah?...with nothing on but a ratty pair of green silk boxers?...three sizes too small?...

I didn't. I mean there were some moments when I guess it was touch and go. I did attend a beer fest after all. And spent a good part of yesterday comparing and contrasting Irish brewing techniques. The products of those techniques that is.

But I think the highlight was eating most of the weekend's meals outside on the patio with the family. There's just something about getting back to nature after being frozen over by these harsh Georgia winters. Like I said Friday...

Y'all have a great Monday. And rest assured I'll let you know when my daughter is signing autographs. Until then, here's your fork. Go on and get after it!

Bernie