Friday's Miserable Meatloaf - Lemme introduce you to Beecher

I first met him several years ago. Maybe as many as ten. Honestly, I don't remember. But I know it was before this here blog started puttering upstream along The Internet. And I know it was after my second stint through UGA, which puts the meeting somewhere between beating Arkansas for the first SECCG and that time we drank all the beer in Tempe.

Speaking of beer, I was in a bar downtown having one and this guy comes in like a runaway train. By that I mean his entrance was a chaotic event that miraculously evaded complete and utter catastrophe an incidental death. An action as simple as opening a door and entering a room instantly became a calamity of flailing arms and legs; glasses were tossed into the air creating various flight paths for the beer, whiskey, and margaritas they had previously contained; a seeing eye dog panicked while aiding in the transition of his owner from table to restroom; napkins and swizzle straws multiplied in mid-air like rabbits on a dewy April lawn; in the corner a jukebox abruptly stopped playing the second chorus of Layla; and a waitress lost all manner of control of her language just as the room became otherwise deafly silent.

"GODDAMNIT BEECHER! YOU CAN'T F***ING BARGE THROUGH THE MOTHERF***ING DOOR LIKE A GODDAMN HYENA!!"

She yelled this at the height of her tumult through the air having tripped over Beecher's leg (or maybe it was his arm) which had propelled the tray of drinks toward a large table of thirsty patrons. After making sure the seeing eye dog didn't leave his owner abandoned and then helping the waitress to her feet, I offered a hand to pull this rangy, awkward stranger up from the floor.

"Thanks mister. At least I didn't spill beer in Rowena's hair this time. That really pisses her off."

"Not a problem. Let me get you a cold one. Looks like you could use a moment of stationary rehydration."

As he drank from the frosted mug, I marveled at how strangely tall Beech was. If he was six feet and a half, roughly 74 inches of that were his legs. Which might explain where all the beer went if just one of those legs were hollow.

We sat and chewed the fat for what seemed the whole afternoon, all the way through Happy Hour. Then moved from the bar to a corner booth where Rowena took our dinner order, surprisingly, without a single f-bomb. Somehow, in some way, Beecher had been forgiven for causing what surely amounted to six unhappy customers, $50 of broken barware, two and half tables of soggy pub food, and a black lab with post-traumatic stress disorder.

And that's how I met Beecher O'Callaghan.

Today's Ingredients
- Supposedly, there's like just over 200 days left until college football in Sanford begins again. Nothing is more miserable than this cold, melancholy, heartless winter we refer to as The Offseason.
- Personally, I've been biding time Raylan up in Harlan County. And also with Tuco and Mike and some skater dudes, as well as the world's best lawyer. The only one that can argue an executioner down from the death penalty to six months of rehab. Saul Goodman.

- And hey! The Hoop Dawgs are doing swell! Just in time for a visit from Bruce Pearl and those Auburn whateveryoumaycallits.
- And baseball starts this weekend! The Diamond Dawgs take the field in the shadow of a newly renovated Foley Field against the Eastern Illinois Panthers. PING!!
- From the Lies and other Sexy Half-Truths file, Blutarsky finds new Atlanta Falcons linebackers coach Dan Ulbrich still on the UCLA recruiting trail.
- Over at The Lady Sportswriter, Kimberley wonders if the Terry College of Business could swing Roquan Smith's decision in UGA's favor.
- Congrats to Marc Weiszer of the ABH on getting some recognition for his hard work. (h/t Emerson)
- At Dawn of the Dawg, Michael Collins asks a popular question - Is Georgia football underachieving or just unlucky?
- Assuming a competent SEC officiating crew (ahem!. Ok, I'll wait for the laughter to stop....)...Greg Poole sees where the new rule for linemen being downfield would've changed the outlook of the 2013 Auburn-Bama game.
- Lastly, stay cute Rutgers.

If you're a fellow Heathen heading to the Rock Show tonight at the 40 Watt, let me buy you a drink. Better yet, buy me one!

The reason I wanted you to meet Beecher today is wide and varied. Of the many characters I've created over the years, he's the most simple, honest, kind-hearted, complex, awkwardly amazing, and down to Earth. He's never been on a beer commercial, but I believe him to be the most interesting man in my favorite college town.

Ten or so years ago I had intended to get to know him better. I aimed to tell his stories to the world and let them chuckle heartily while being humbled. But I've neglected ol' Beecher. Partly due to time constraints, sure. It's a burden on your free time being a hotshot blogger with at least four and up to as many as twelve readers. But mostly I've neglected Beecher O'Callaghan because it was just too easy not to start something when I wasn't sure where it would lead.

Now, for better or worse, I'm gonna go see where that road leads.

No, I'm not leaving. Not in the least. Any morning I wake up and have a fresh thought to share or a rant to righteously impart, you'll find it here. Hell, maybe I'll even share another tall tale from the O'Callaghan memoirs here or there. But other than that, my pauses and stops along the way towards autumn may linger a little longer than usual.

To be honest, part of me says it's really none of your business and you probably don't care. Which means there's no real reason to post this diatribe at all. But I've grown fond of my readers here. Mom and Pops raised me to treat others as you'd have them treat you. So just don't be too alarmed if the posts gather some dust in between themselves. As Beecher'd say, "All we are is dust in a breeze." Guess he's not much of a fan for Kansas' music. Regardless, that breeze is aiming this writing vane towards that hole in the wall bar in downtown Athens. Rowena's handing us a mop and telling us to clean that shit up.

Stay upright and true amigos.

Bernie

UGA Days announced

Check the calendar for a coach in red and black near your neighborhood.

Per the Alumni Association:

The University of Georgia is once again hitting the road to bring the Bulldog spirit to alumni, friends and fans around the Southeast.

From April to July, UGA coaches and administrators will travel to seven cities, sharing their insights into UGA’s upcoming athletic seasons and the latest news from campus. Attendees will also learn more about local UGA Alumni Association chapters and how to become involved.

Each stop on the UGA Day Tour will bring delight to UGA fans of all ages – you won’t want to miss out on the action.

Registration for each stop on the tour will open on this page in March.

If you are interested in serving as a sponsor for UGA Day, please click here for more information.

Go Dawgs!

Bauerle and UGA breathe sighs of relief

The gist is Bauerle found to have operated beyond his realm as a coach in providing and attempting to provide academic benefits for a student athlete and not "promoting an atmosphere of compliance". But the university doesn't suffer any probation as a result of the findings. Overall, that's a win-win as Bauerle keeps his job and UGA Swimming and Diving can continue to compete freely.

Although they will do so without Bauerle for the next nine meets during his suspension. Here's the link to the ruling and here's the ABH writeup by Fletcher Page.

Tuesday's Meatloaf - of fees and Fezziks

[Half of this post has been sitting in the oven for awhile. And I just didn't quite finish it (again) Sunday night. So to keep it from being terribly overcooked for yet another week, you get a very rare edition of Tuesday's meatloaf. Enjoy!]

-------------------------------------------

Hello this is Bank of American Corporate Greed in America, how may I direct your call to someone who can actually pretend to give a damn?

Well, what happened was I was going to the grocery store on Christmas Eve to get some last minu...

via

One moment...[insert Nickelback muzak]....[it's actually better this way I think]....[wonder if muzakians are Canadian too..] ...

Good afternoon. This is Chalonda. How can I disappoint you today?

You charged me a fee for someone else's bad check. I'd like that money credited back to my account.

I'm sorry sir. It's ours now and we're keeping it. You should be more careful who you take checks from in the future. Can I interest you in a Money Market accou...

He was a kid! Stranded on the side of the road with no gas. I gave him a ride to the gas station and gave him some money. Did I mention it was Christmas Eve?!!?

Sir, he didn't have $20 in his account to cover his reimbursement. Maybe you can be charitable with your cash, but we're going to bill his bank for every cent we can. Now, how about that...

It was Christmas Eve DAMMIT! I was being nice and now you're penalizing me for it?

Yes. Is there anything else I can not help you with today sir?

Okay. I guess just one thing. How much is the fee for closing my accounts?

...[insert Nickelback muzak]....

Yes. It's definitely better this way. Here's a plate reader. No fees added.

Today's Ingredients
- First up, Emerson covers a wide variety of red and black topics in this post, hopefully the first of many On the beats.
- Not a great start this weekend for the Diamond Dawgs, especially the pitching staff. But this is a nice preview to the season and its expectations by MaconDawg.
- After the latest NCAA tune-up, Blutarsky revs the HUNHcycle engine.
- Speaking of slowing the game down, if you haven't already, be sure you catch Spencer Hall's A Very Bielema Valentines Day before the roses wilt.
- Over at Georgia Sports Blog, PWD runs down the odds of Fox's re-energized team making the NIT. And Tyler looks at just how Fox out-coached the guy that'd rather placate Marshall Henderson's ego than his wife's libido.
- Hoop Dawgs looks at the player at the center of this hardcourt resurgence - Charles Mann.
- Bulldawg Illustrated has a nice Q&A with new Georgia Bulldog offensive lineman Dyshon Sims' mother.
- Kimberley looks a little closer at the defensive end that flipped his commitment to Georgia over the weekend.
- Good weekend for former UGA golfers. Congrats to Bubba, Harris English and friend of the blog Brian Harman!
- Lastly, just wanted to make sure you caught this Valentines Day themed post by Garbin. Just another great read you will not want to have missed.

Heard about this pic (or one similar to it) on the latest 1Beer1Song podcast. Being a longtime member of the Brute Squad fan of the movie The Princess Bride I felt compelled to catalog it here.

That's just fantastic. Unfortunately, they don't sell this shirt any more. Which is clearly not fantastic. Oh well.

But if there's another thing Fezzik taught me other than how to rhyme away the time, it was that it's important to encourage one another. Whether you're futilely throwing punches at a man twice your size or wiggling your finger after being mostly dead all day, it's important to recognize good effort and good progress. And here in the middle of February, when the height of the off season is still nowhere in sight and the journey seems to only get longer with each passing day, I just want you to feel you are doing well.

Keep it up! I believe in you! At least you didn't get your 

degree form Auburn! You look great in that Halocaust cloak dude!

It's also a time when a college football heavy blog can get pretty difficult to keep afloat. But you should know I've got some exciting developments on the horizon. And I've also been compiling a list of important off season topics we should discuss at length and ad nauseam and to the nth degree as well.

So stay tuned. And until then, here's you fork Reader. Have a great Tuesday!

Bernie

Airing of Grievances - on Coach Richt's polarity

Any and all posts in regards to the state of the Georgia football program (in this space at least) start with one eternal stipulation - program first, always. During off seasons such as the one we're seeping into here, the two poles are almost always Mark Richt fans and Mark Richt haters/detractors. Everyone else (aka, the vast majority) kind of gathers around and chirps in. I'm going to be quite honest with you: those of you that support one guy blindly because he runs the program "the right way" are just as dangerous as those who say the man can't win because he spends Sunday mornings in church.

Frankly, both arguments are lazy and out of focus. With that out of the way, I had a few paragraphs laid out for this, and I may still post that. But I feel a need to be direct and concise at this point rather than overly wordy and assuming. So here are the essential questions I have for both camps.

If you want Richt gone:

• Why do you trust the guys in Butts-Mehre to make a significant improvement with a hire? What gives you faith in their abilities? What leads you to believe that their commitment to success on the field matches that at the Bookstore registers?
• Would you be more happy with a national title next season followed by a short/medium/long era of insignificance?

If you're perfectly content:

• Why? Seriously, why?
• By your estimation, what does Richt need to do to get his team to the next level of the national picture? Answers can range from just lucky bounces of the ball to larger scale changes in some way.

Feel free to add questions that I may have overlooked. And before I turn it over to you completely, I'll just say that I'm one of the ones that still believes Richt can get us to where everyone wants to be - winning on the national stage. Laugh at me all you want for continuing to live in the past, but he was depressingly close to making everyone content and supremely satisfied last season. But I fall well short of just saying I'm going to support the guy because he's given us 13 years of consecutive bowl games.

Airing of Grievances - UGA Athletics Apathy

On Saturday Jameis Winston will win the Heisman. Up until a week ago he remained under at least some shroud of controversy. Other programs used the opportunity to tout their own offensive star as an alternative Heisman pick. A program we consider a neighbor even parlayed their halfback's shining championship moment into (at worst) a glamorous trip to New York City this weekend. Meanwhile, we have a guy that dedicated four years to playing in Sanford, collected nearly every SEC quarterback record, and had to literally be dragged off the field in his final home game.

And yet it was some South Carolina sports writer from Charleston that had to beat the drum for Aaron Murray. Embarrassing.

Would Murray have won the award? No. But you know what? Tre Mason is getting a trip to the Downtown Athletic Club and will put Auburn's football program on grand display in primetime. Aaron was in NYC earlier this week collecting yet another National Football Foundation award for UGA. His "vacation" could've been extended a few days. I mean, couldn't we define Murray's career as "outstanding" in its "pursuit of excellence with integrity"? Wouldn't the last couple of weeks have been a great time to blast the media from coast to coast with nuggets and factoids of Aaron's good works in the community as well as stats? Stats such as - against four of the BCS' top teams this season Murray amassed 14 total touchdowns and over 1300 yards passing. Is there anyone else that can boast those kind of numbers?

No. But I'm sure Butts-Mehre was way too busy getting ready for the next tackle football game...in January.

Our complete and total lack of carpe diem when it comes to things like Heisman campaigns (because in all honesty we should have been promoting two candidates starting in June in the very least) and sticking up for the players on the field when officiating and NCAA rules fail them is astounding. We have an eternal take it easy as it comes attitude. Forever willing to accept our lot in life. Hoping for the future while getting kicked in the crotch by any and all comers.

Additionally, go ahead and explain away the rematch with Nebraska in the upcoming Gator Bowl as old Bill Snyder throwing himself a hissy. But also ask why we don't have anyone that can dictate the selection procedure with authority? Who is representing Georgia's best interest? You think Chris Burnette and Artie Lynch came to the University of Georgia wanting their last game, their last trip on the bus with their teammates, to be against a team they played 12 months earlier? Who is going to bat to make sure these players get what's best for them?

I'm only asking because UGA continually promotes our athletic programs as above certain standards and doing things "the Georgia way". Yet it is a mere casual observance to fancy from a SkyBox. A simple play toy to enjoy several times a year instead of a business to run, market and promote.

Embarrassing. Dawg fans deserve better. And the University of Georgia's athletes certainly deserve better.

Monday's Meatloaf - "Off and On" day is HERE!!

"Get OFF the sofa and On the field! Run Run RUN!!" - Erk Russell

Coach Richt,

Congratulations on the advent of another new season in Athens. Glory awaits us again this fall as you and your team stand at the precipice of summer camp. We're eager to cheer you as you run onto the field...or casually stroll. Whichever. Easy on that new hip man.

I wanted to let you know that I will unfortunately not be able to attend tonight's function at the Gwinnett Center. Doggoneit! Life is happening and I just won't have a chance to swing by and hobnob with you and the others.

I know, I know. I was so excited back in March and even offered up my own backyard (an offer that still stands actually) as an option for UGA Day. But you know how things are when you're kinda a big deal. When you walk down Prince Ave. in mid-afternoon, that's kinda the way it is for me around these parts. Pulled every which way and the other. You know.

So my apologies. Please tell Greg and Jere to go easy on the scotch and give Coach Stricklin my sincerest welcome. I'll see you in Clempson in a few weeks. But if you need any help during practices you can hit me up on the twitter. I'll come running.

And of course, if it runs late tonight you are welcome to stay here at "Bernie's House of Estrogen". Do you prefer Italian linen or Egyptian cotton?

(AP Photo)

Later dude.

Today's Ingredients
- Congrats to Big John! And to all who were able to survive another ho-hum three sets/three tiebreakers kind of win.
- As we draw closer to the 2013 tackle football campaign, I hear more and more chatter about Jay Rome having a break out season. Kimberley shares her thoughts on that very subject.
- Steele ranks the positions and Blutarsky breaks it all down in terms of the opener.
- Some reason for optimism regarding the 2013 defense from Garbin.
- Corbindawg would like Richt to "pop" Kolton Houston into the starting lineup September 7th.
- Tyler spinning the hits with this "oldie goldie".
- If you missed it (like I did), Macondawg looks at the biggest disasters in UGA Athletics the last 20 years. Luckily me spilling two stadiums cups of bourbon and Coke at the 2010 USCe game didn't make the ballot.
- In need of some Dawg porn today? Try Andrew's post on Aaron Murray that includes some wicked highlights.
- Remember when I told you about T Kyle King's new book "Fighting Like Cats and Dogs"? Well, I got mine in the mail. Have you ordered yours yet?
- Lastly, you'll recall last year when we used Erk's motivational calendar to prepare us for the 2012 season. Thanks to Scott, we'll have another one begin to make an appearance later this week. GATA. Always.

Build a BIG neck!

So yeh, camp opens tomorrow. Football is finally upon us! Sure there's still 33 days to wait for the toe to meet the leather, but for hotshot bloggers this is like Christmas Eve, or walking out of the classroom after your last exam before spring break, or your 21st birthday, or your first visit to a strip club, or your 21st birthday at a strip club, or shopping...for a new tv!!

It was a long, arduous and, to be quite honest, awkward off season. There was a lot of hurt and pain and "what might have been" to swallow and digest. We all ran out of Tums before the calendar hit February and we just wallowed in our own self-pity and loathing. Some of you haven't even showered since Christmas. C'mon now.

But tomorrow the sun rises on new opportunities. The horizon will fill with aspirations and goals aimed at building on last year's success. You trudge along, stumble, learn and keep moving. From Woodruff Practice Fields we'll get updates about which defensive player is making strides towards the top of Grantham's empty depth chart. Some freshman will spark message boreds to fire off unbridled enthusiasm. Perhaps if we're lucky, a scuffle or two will break out between some linemen.

Buckle your chin strap Reader and stop hanging your head. Time to get after it. Here's your fork!

Bernie

Monday's Meatloaf - Nixon's Minions to open for the White Russian Hackers

11:59pm - mix up a "Caucasian": ice to the rim, two parts vodka, one part Kahlua, one part milk
12:01am - discover that Netflix no longer streams "The Big Lebowski"...YGTBGDKMMFers!!

 It really tied the room together.

12:03am - compose scathing email to Netflix higher ups, incidentally click "Save" instead of "Send" and forget about it...
12:05am - discover that I'm hungry and prepare an advanced tactical move on the pantry
12:21am - clumsily complete tactical maneuver, retreat towards sofa
12:22am - rediscover that "The Big Lebowski" is no longer available to stream on Netflix
12:27am - begin another scathing email, sigh deeply but with a sense of accomplishment. Scratch myself while checking Twitter.
12:28am - piss off the edge of the deck and smile whimsically at my apparent grasp of the world
12:31am - decide to rewatch the Washington episode of "Drunk History"
12:41am - while laughing hysterically at Nixon's dumb ass, discover Lay's Sweet Southern Heat chips crumbs on my Drive By Truckers t-shirt. Curse. Much too loudly.
12:42am - Moan. Also too loudly. Lower volume on the remote by pressing the channel up button. Fall into the bottom a bucket of misery where I can't find the show I was watching and become increasingly convinced UVerse is a communiss organization corrupted by Nixon's minions
12:43am - decide Nixon's Minions is the best name for a punk band I've had since Jimmy Carter's Nutskins
12:47am - finish "cleaning" off my shirt
12:52am - begin search for lost remote.......
2:22am - wake up and take my clean shirt upstairs to brush my teeth and stuff

Today's Ingredients
- I'm certainly no Mark Emmert, but it appears to me that Spencer Hall has sufficiently investigated the FIU nekkidities.
-  Blutarsky looks at a concern that has been developing for quite some time. Also, it's good to have someone like Dr. Courson on staff.
- I've never seen Tyler in a Jeter jersey but I join him in dropping the ESPN channels from my cable package denouncing Colin Cowherd as one of the ones that was probably blathering about Tiger yesterday even as Phil was finishing one of the more remarkable rounds of golf ever seen.
- ICYMI, a terrific read about how Aaron Murray has managed his major and his quarterbacking/team leadership duties. DGD.
- DavetheDawg wraps up the Lamont Gaillard commitment succintly. And with a poll. Also, Chris Wilson is the next governor of Georgia. Probably.
- Andrew discovers that Clempson is good at math. Kind of.
- Terrific read by the ABH's Bowers on how Coach Diaz has made the UGA Tennis program a consistent powerhouse.
- And lastly, another great read by Garbin as to why the recruiting process is so fickle and confoundingly frustrating.

Verify our range to target. ONE ping only.

5:21am - awaken to relieve myself and pat myself on the back for remembering to let the dog out
5:23am - back in bed, wonder if I actually did let the do.....zzzzzZZzzz...
7:23am - roll over, moan
7:38am - awaken refreshed with a pulse, turn phone on and begin search for my shorts
7:38 and a half - phone alerts me to 24 new emails
7:39am - "TWENTY four new emails!! That's abuncha shit right there. Something hazza be up witf that...ugh..."
7:40am - read email from GMail team alerting me that some douchebag in Russia compromised my account and that my password was automatically changed but that I should change it again HELLO DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT WE HAVE TYPED TO YOU AT 3:33 IN THE FRIGGIN' MORNING?!??!?!
7:42am - read email from Google Team again but now with the understanding that they are not actually a Navy Seal Team operating from the middle of the Black Sea.
7:47am - Finally realize that my email has been hacked. Shit.
7:59am - Oh. OK. So this means EVERY contact has been exposed to some type of link telling them to lose weight, send their life savings to eastern Nigeria and satisfy their woman by enlarging their...
8:00am - OOOOOOhhhhhMMMMMMyyyyGGGGGGGooooDDDDDD!!!
8:01am - 8:32am - cry uncontrollably in the fetile position with my shorts half on while enjoying the cool temperature of the bathroom tile is a mixed bag of Life Blows and You Ball So Hard Bro.
8:33am - finish fastening my shorts into an acceptable and semi-fashionable position
8:35am - compose BookFace and Tweet of apology to those who suffered from my horribly inept password, that is now "MenudoRULZ!!"
8:36am - 12:31pm - wait for my Mom to text to see if I'm okay.

Moral: Netlix is communiss bastards that sell your password and killed Donny. Life sucks, but you're not dead yet so don't throw ashes into the wind.

And also don't make White Russians at 11:59am.

Bernie

Schmitt named Female Athlete of the Year

Five time Olympic medalist Allison Schmitt has been recognized as the SEC's top female athlete.

At the 2012 Olympics in London, Schmitt won three gold medals, one silver medal and one bronze medal. She became the first Georgia swimmer ever to win an individual gold as she claimed the 200-meter freestyle title. Schmitt also anchored the victorious 800-meter freestyle and 400-meter medley relays. She came in second in the 400-meter freestyle and placed third on the 400-meter freestyle relay. With six Olympic medals (including a bronze from the 2008 Games), she ranks first all-time among Georgia swimmers. Following the Games, Schmitt owned one world record and four American records in long-course meters.

The Canton, Mich., native returned for her senior year and helped lead the Lady Bulldogs to the NCAA and SEC titles. She won the NCAA crown in the 200-yard freestyle and helped the 400- and 800-yard freestyle relays notch victories. At the SECs, she picked up titles on the 200-, 400- and 800-yard freestyle relays. Schmitt earned the Honda Sports Award as the nation’s top swimmer. She is attached to one American record and two U.S. Open marks in short-course yards.

Schmitt is the fifth Georgia student-athlete to earn SEC Female Athlete of the Year recognition, joining golfer Vicki Goetze (1992), basketball player Saudia Roundtree (1996), swimmer Kristy Kowal (2000) and gymnast Courtney Kupets (2009). 

An honor well deserved. Thanks for coming back Allison and thanks for another great season. Go Dawgs!

It's slow, but it's news

Not a whole lot going on of course. But the best May days are the quiet May days. The more time the headlines spend on gardening tips and reality TV gossip, the more it means the guys of autumn Glory are handling themselves according to their coaches' wishes.

But there's still this and that to tend to. There is still tidbits of actual news and then some that is just invented for our own flights of fancy. Unless you're going to checkout available NFL odds and betting lines while fighting off mosquitoes, these nuggets might pass the time pretty well. Even Mark Emmert, up there on his NCAA throne, might give them a casual glance before sending more sample cups to Ron Courson.

In related news, the #FREEKOLTONHOUSTON petition needs a few hundred more signatures. CLICK HERE to add yours. Then pick up your tardy slip from the front office.

So Ty Flournoy-Smith is leaving before I even learn whether he prefers the hyphenated version of his name or not. I keep seeing it presented both ways, so I'll just type one of each version to keep this paragraph balanced. Although that development is not shocking, it is intriguing in terms of the roster and future recruiting. For the 2013 season we'll have a senior (Artie), a sophomore (Rome) and a true freshman (Jordan Davis). For the class of 2014 we've already secured a commitment from one of the nation's top tight ends in Jeb Blazevich. Another target, Herschel Walker's nephew has since committed to Clemson. Also, Richt gave a casual mention that Ty Smith might even end up back in Athens after a stint at what is looking like Georgia Military College. So it'll be interesting if Richt and his staff decide to pursue another signee for the next class. Undoubtedly, they'll wait and see a little more of what they have in Davis and what Rome does with his second season.

As the Athletic Board meets in St. Simons, the dead horse was arisen from his grave topic of an indoor practice facility came up again. Then short of it: Richt wants one, but doesn't think we really need one; meanwhile McGarity would rather invest in building a car dealership outside of an Amish community than an indoor practice facility. Those are my words, not his exactly. Some advice for Richt, if anyone asks about an IPF, just start reeling off statistics from the 2012 WLOCP. You'll always fare better in that direction, promise.

It took three sets in each match, but Georgia's own Lauren Herring and Maho Kowase both advanced to the next round of the NCAA singles tournament. Herring will meet Southern California's Zoe Scandalis tomorrow and Kowase (who fought off a math point from UC-Irvine's Kristina Smith and forced a tiebreaker) will take on TAMU's Christina Sanchez-Quintanar.

Back to football, CBS announced some initial time slots for a few games in this fall's action. Naturally, the Georgia-Florida game will be in Uncle Verne's lap. The two dates for the double-headers are October 19th (noon and 3:30) and November 9th (3:30 and 8:00).

Lastly, if you're setting off any fireworks for your Memorial Day celebration this weekend, confine your dog. He's gonna wanna do his job.

via meme-meme

Tennis update

In better news, men's tennis aced Oklahoma yesterday 4-1 to move on into the quarterfinals of the NCAA Tournament. Third seeded Georgia will play Pepperdine, the same team that ousted them last year, at 1pm on Saturday.

Georgia (25-4) is into the quarterfinals for the 10th straight year and has now won 16 matches in a row and 20 of the last 21.

“We feel good,” Georgia coach Manuel Diaz, who has led his team into the NCAA field of 64 in each of his 25 seasons in Athens, said in a news release. “Oklahoma was ranked as high as No. 5 in the country and they have a very good team. They’re well-coached. This was a great victory today and we earned it. It was physically and emotionally draining and we look forward to getting some rest and bouncing back.”

Meanwhile the ladies take on Clemson today at 1pm, also in Illinois. If they can dispatch the Tigers the way they did Winthrop and Arizona State last weekend in Athens they'll advance to the quarterfinals as well. You can follow all the action at GeorgiaDogs.com.

Dawgs dispatch Binghamton soundly

Coach Diaz's men's tennis team opened NCAA play yesterday with a 4-0 thumping if visiting Binghamton. Behind the freshman Ben Wagland, who was stepping in for a senior who left the team earlier this week, the Dawgs made quick work of the opening round and will face Northwestern today at 3pm.

“Usually we struggle a little bit more first match of the NCAAs after a couple weeks of inactivity, but guys have practiced hard and the guys have got a great sense of focus, so we played a pretty good match,” (Diaz) said.

Singh leaves team

KU Singh, Georgia's top singles player has left the team just days before its NCAA tourney run begins. While the university's press release gives little insight, there are others who aren't too surprised by this development.

Insiders in Athens are not exactly shocked by this, with signs of discord surfacing earlier this year. The 22-year-old from India, who had transferred from Illinois after a brief stint there in the spring of 2011, did not travel with the team to this year's ITA Team Indoor for undisclosed reasons. The timing is obviously unfortunate however, especially given the loss of Nick Wood to an ankle injury shortly after the Team Indoor.

Diaz is doing his part to keep the team focused on what matters:

“This is a very close group and today they’re closer than ever,” Diaz said. “Our program will continue to stress teamwork, togetherness, and playing with our hearts for each other, as it always has. We are united and are moving forward in a positive manner.”

Reading a bit between the lines, Singh wore out his welcome and Diaz chose to move forward without the star player rather than risk putting one player ahead of the team. Regardless of what happens this weekend, it seems it was the best for all involved.

Georgia begins play Friday afternoon against Binghamton.

---------

Post edit: Singh left of his own accord. Coach Diaz sheds some light on what looks like an individual player that never quite accepted the team concept fully.

Monday's Meatloaf - gettin' salty, again

Ok, so maybe I was overly insensitive towards Mr. Oliver Saturday. Perhaps it only proved that I'm still not over that loss to Alabama. Don't get me wrong. The self imposed "king" of college football is still a first rate idiot, but I need to move on. That all happened months ago.

Pass the salt. I'm reopening the wound.

Water under the bridge. Get over it Bernie!

Ok. I hear ya. In an effort to move myself forward, I'm self-imposing a deadline of sorts. I'm sick of scrolling through my DVR list and seeing that SEC Championship game sitting there, both beckoning me and taunting me at the same time. "C'mon Bernie...fire it up and relive the heartbreak all over. Don't you want to see Tree run back that blocked kick again? Let's do this."

Sometime before next week's meatloaf I will rewatch this game. And then I will delete this game from my digital television recording device. I will wash my hands of it and refuse to carry the burden of it into the summer. I would like to go to the pool without Quinton Dial mercilessly blindsiding me into the deep end. I want to go to the beach without Coach Saban cramming six extra scholarship vacationers into my car when the rules clearly set the limits with the number of functional seatbelts available.

I'm going to aim for this Thursday. If you would also like to crap this thing out and flush it, feel free to join me. I'll certainly live tweet it and attempt to monitor my alcohol intake sufficiently.

Or not. And if anyone is chummy with Oliver please invite him for me. Perhaps he can sit beside me and relate the story of meeting David Greene as a 9th grader and trying to move him to defensive end. I love that one.

Today's Ingredients
- If you're not ready to close the door on spring yet, Ching has the wrap up ready for your fine toothed comb.
- And DavetheDawg has fifteen talking points for your perusal.
- Tyler faces off against the nine game SEC schedule that has picked up momentum recently.
- Paschall has a lot of nice quotes (link corrected) from Grantham and Richt on the 2013 prospects.
- This time next year we'll be defining Aaron Murray's legacy. Blutarsky helps frame our reference point entering his final season.
- Similarly, Kimberley wonders if Murray can shut up the haters.
- Kelin wants to welcome you back to his blog.
- A late rally helped lift the softball team over visiting LSU 10-5.
- Run Home Jack finds the Lou Holtz Kithing Boothh in the trash heap outside of Notre Dame's athletics facility and Nick Saban photo bombing a grad's picture. (Nope, not an actual football player.)
- Lastly, for you St. Simons readers that I love so much, Buddy relays this message: the island now has a growler shop! Welcome Webers Growler Factory!

At this end of the loaf we have a pompous high school track star blatantly taunting competitors as he blazes towards the finish line. So glad they caught this kid in the act of such unsportsmanlike behavior so that his self-aggrandizing act could cost his whole team the glory they had earned. Well done you governing body of fat Texas bureaucrats. Way to stick it to em good!

As you let that simmer Reader, here's a napkin. Go have yourself a Monday!

Bernie

Tennis draws announced

As expected, the men's tennis team will host a regional to open play in the NCAA Tournament. They'll kick things off next Friday against America East Conference winner Binghamton. Joining them in Athens will be Wake Forest and Northwestern.

"It's extremely rewarding for the guys [to host first and second rounds]," said head coach Manuel Diaz, who has guided the Bulldogs into the NCAA Championships in each of his 25 seasons. "They've put in a lot of work and had some great results this year. We are pleased with where we are, but we know we have a big challenge in front of us beginning with Binghamton. We know we can't look past anybody. It's the postseason now and we are only as good as we play today."

To hear Coach Diaz speak about the competition and the focus heading into the tournament as well as freshman Ben Wagland and sophomore Nathan Pasha - CLICK HERE. For the complete bracket, click here.

Meanwhile the women will also play host as they take on Winthrop in round one, with the winner playing either Oklahoma or Arizona State in the second round.

Georgia is 7-5 all-time against the Cougars, last facing them in 1997, a 9-0 win. This season, Georgia posted a 7-0 win over Clemson in Athens on Feb. 26 to take a 23-19 lead in the all-time series. Georgia is 2-1 all-time against Arizona State with the Sun Devils winning the last meeting 5-4 in 1997.

"It's exciting to know that you're going to be playing your first two rounds at home," said head coachJeff Wallace. "It's a huge honor and its great to be in your backyard playing at the Dan Magill Tennis Complex. You can't overlook anyone. They've all had good years because they're in the NCAA Tournament so we're just excited to get that first one going."

FOr video commentary - CLICK HERE. To see the complete women's bracket, click here.

Tennis draws announced today

via georgiadogs.com:

The NCAA will announce the fields of 64 for the upcoming Men’s and Women’s Tennis Championships tomorrow, Tues., April 30. The men’s selection announcement will begin at 5 p.m. ET followed by the women’s announcement at 5:30 p.m. Both will stream live on NCAA.com. 

Complete team brackets – including regional round sites – will be posted on the official NCAA websites (www.NCAA.com and www.NCAA.org) after the completion of the show. The fields for the individual singles and doubles portion of the tournament will be announced the following day, on Wed., May 1. 

First and second round regional action will be played May 10-12 at 16 campus sites. The later rounds as well as the individual singles and doubles tournament are set for May 16-27, to be hosted at the University of Illinois’ Khan Outdoor Tennis Complex at the Atkins Tennis Center for the first time in history.

For what it's worth, the men finished the season ranked 3rd behind Virginia and UCLA. The women are also 3rd behind North Carolina and Florida.

McGarity shares some perspective

If you're like most Georgia fans, you're watching AD Greg McGarity a little closer these days. The basketball team is coming off a disappointing season and lost their star player to the NBA. And the baseball team is mired in a season long slump that follows a disappointing 2012 campaign. Even for those who only concern themselves with football, decisions being made right now regarding these two programs could tell us a lot about our athletic director.

And these two links give us a glimpse into that and more. First, Emerson provides the state of the basketball program heading into Fox's fifth season. There's a distinct parallel to the manner in which McGarity is handling it here as compared to after the 2010 football season with Richt. In a word, improvement.

Improvement. During the course of five minutes Monday, McGarity used that word seven times, and he used “improve” twice more.

“It’s like any other program: You look for continuous improvement. We do not, with any coach, set any type of minimum wins, things of that nature. Coaches have enough pressure on them anyway,” McGarity said. “And, even if you ask the coaches, they would probably say the same thing as far as continued improvement. That’s the challenges that lie ahead with every sport. How do we improve every year, how do we get better.”

And for an even deeper look into the thought processes for all things UGA Athletics, here's Anthony Dasher's Q&A with McGarity prompted in part by reader questions. It covers basketball and baseball pretty thoroughly as well as other off season topics surrounding an indoor practice facility, recruiting, funding and student seating at Sanford.

"Facilities are not holding us back from anything. I can promise you that. I just came back from UCLA and I've seen their facilities. I've seen Stanford's facilities. Trust me, they're not winning national championships strictly because of their facilities. Facilities have to be nice and functional. I've seen a lot of facilities at tremendous campuses and in some cases you're asking yourself how are they getting it done because their facilities are not as nice as school A or B. It all gets down to people, it all gets down to relationships of people, coaches and it all gets down to having a great institution that's got a great academic reputation which ours does. Facilities are important, but no way are they the end all."

Personally, I think McGarity hits the nail on the head as far as facilities. Too often people just want more fancy things to look at when the purpose they would serve is minimal. As for people, I'm hoping we see the improvement our AD alludes to as his barometer in determining coaching success/failure. It's a safe way for him to deal with turmoil in those two men's programs today. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Men Tennis -SEC Champs!

Impressive run this weekend to add a tournament trophy to the regular season one. Freshman Ben Wagland was named tournament MVP.

Go Dawgs!

Monday's Meatloaf - Can I get a damn ruling? PLEASE!!

Sometimes things just don't measure up. Regardless of any inherent complexity or simplicity of use or time-honored functionality, you eventually arrive at the conclusion that something is still amiss.

I went to sleep Friday night with my golf world in working order. I woke up Saturday morning and it was upside down. Granted, I don't understand the rule book, but as a casual golfer I just need to know that hitting the ball into the lake three times affords me a free hole to just butcher at will. "I DON'T NEED A DROP AREA! I KNOW I CAN HIT IT ACROSS THIS THING. GIVE ME ANOTHER BALL."

You can't double eagle with a 4-wood without
ignoring the rule book Gene.

More importantly, this knowledge affords me peace of mind that once a year when I tune into The Masters. I can rest assured that everything is taken care of and all of the rulings are crystal clear to those in charge. All that is left is to sit back and enjoy a figurative level playing field for all of the golfers on the literal unlevel playing field.

But Tiger's beautifully struck yet unlucky shot on 15 Friday changed everything. More directly, the officials' inability to handle the situation changed everything. And even more directly, when even my own dad was puzzled by what happened my golf world turned completely upside down. My dad was born on a golf course and is my walking rule book for whenever I hit a ball into the lake for the third time.

If he can't sort out the details and explain them to me in weekend hackers' terminology, well...it's all been a sham. We've been bamboozled! The whole mess is a complete farce.

On one hand I'm revoking every penalty stroke I've ever taken. On the other, I know I'm not a scratch golfer. As any body of water that I have ever tried to hit a dimpled ball over can surely attest.

Today's Ingredients
- I mean, check out the exchange in this piece between Luke Glover, an official and Bernhard Langer. 
- “Bernhard asked, ‘What if this whole area was covered with leaves, does that mean it would be unplayable?’” Glover recalled, “and at that point (the official) said it was OK to go ahead and play it.” Wow.
- There's something very Divinci Codesque about today's Curious Index. At least in terms of how Run Home Jack brings the news of Dave Didion's new job.
- As we talked about earlier, today marks an important period for Georgia recruiting. Kimberly updates us on a top tight end.
- Is there anything more underhanded and pollen-filled than spring shenanigans? Blutarsky found some Clempson players undercover at the GDay game. Unknowingly, I returned the favor this past weekend.
- Good news on the diamond, Tyler says the Dawgs are not eliminated from the SEC Tournament. The bad news is that we may not be able to say that much longer.
- Women's tennis....SEC champs! And the men, having sewn up the regular season title last week, head to Oxford for the tourney as the #1 seed.
- Greg discovered some NFL draft prospects acting like they're an 1980's rock band or something.
- Lastly, things are really getting weird at Florida coaching meetings. you have to give Joker the edge here, but this is quality Instagrammmming by Pease.

With something as archaic as The Renowned and Royal Rules of Golf being reduced to just a collection of odd suggestions - When addressing your ball, wink twice with your right eye if you intend to play a fade and three times with your left if you intend to Bubba that ball to death! - I decided to dig a little deeper into the Official and Outlandish Blogging Handbook: a guide to make your internetting smartter. What I discovered was both exotic and expertly simple. Turns out, I've broken every commandment with which this weblogging world was founded upon.

1. Don't ever write about Auburn doing ANYthing wrong. Because when they're wrong, they're also right. It's senseless to point out ANYthing even remotely contradictory to this point.

   

   Aniston is always looking to drive up Google
   page ranks. God bless her body of work.

2. ANYtime you type the word "solidarity" it must be underlined. ANY. Time.
3. Adding pictures of scantily clad women is strongly encouraged. This improves Google ratings for your site. Especially if the picture has little to nothing to do with the blog's topic.
4. Al Gore invented the internet, but Houston Nutt recruited him to do it. So he deserves at least an asterisk reference somewhere in each post. Preferably after a semi-nude picture of Lennay Kekua.
5. Excesssssive typppping doesn't cause carpal tunnnnnel. Chewing gummm while typpppping causes carpppal tunnnnel.
6. Whenever you click the spell check button before posting a computer generated electronic mail message is sent to your third grade teacher. She'd like a word with you before recess.
7. Stealing content from other websites is neither encouraged or discouraged. While the internet was founded by incredibly smart and driven people, it is maintained and managed by lazy folks with cheese dust on their t-shirts. Majority rules. Solidarity.
8. Shoes are optional at all times. But pants are strictly forbidden at ANY time.
9. The word ANY must always be in all caps, and preferably followed at the end of the sentence with multiple (more than three but less than twenty two) exclamation points!!!! !
10. When your blog achieves its own Wiki page, stop and start over again. You've clearly done something wrong. Or maybe too incredibly awesome.

There are 4,294 more rules, but I'm sure you're hungry and tired of reading. Plus, #799 clearly states that you must keep posts as brief as possible. And this is already a long par 4. Here's your napkin. Shirt stains are a two stroke penalty. Maybe.

Bernie

Monday's Meatloaf - debts as yet unpaid

So today's a guy's birthday. It's a guy I know. He might even dwell among some of you that read the words that are posted here. He definitely resides amongst those of you that have an address within the DawgNation.

When I first met Joe Waterloo he spoke a different language. Although we were both in the process of matriculating at the University of Georgia he was from somewhere far to the north. Like beyond Charlotte. Even past Richmond. Yeh, way up there.

Shoulda played Preston
Jones more...

But we took him in and showed him what grits were, we explained to him how to talk right (even though he didn't listen) and we gave him one of the greatest gifts a college football fan could ever receive...Ray Goff.

You see, love of southern college football can sometimes be earned too easily. But at other times it must be given sacrifice after sacrifice before it is earned and given back. And this was the case with my southern Maryland friend. He suffered. He fumed. He waited for his time to be repaid. Much like many of us. Except that many of us had understood and had the faith instilled in us at a young age.

But Joe Waterloo only had hockey, frozen tundra dog-sledding...and the occasional crab boil.

Today's Ingredients
- Once again, congrats to the men's tennis team for finding their way to the top of the SEC!
- Lots of GDay reactions today.
- One of the rising stars is James Deloach.
- Ching talks defense.
- Here's Blutarsky's observations from GDay. I wonder if that first play from scrimmage was one a fan sent in.
- Leather Helmet Blog finds Chris Mayes is a big dude.
- The offensive line is taking shape, but still faces challenges says Paschall.
- And Emerson takes a shot at the remaining questions of the spring.
- Garbin reminds us that those Gators, they do like to embellish.
- Run Home Jack is ambivalent about Joker Phillips having Photoshop.
- And vineyarddawg updates us on the Corvallis regional for the GymDogs.

So, my favorite Joe Waterloo story (that I can share) started innocently enough. T-Bones on Baxter was having a special on beer. You bought a mug and got as many refills as you could drink. If you had been privy to the discussion prior to our arrival you would have surmised that it was just going to be a nice dinner with a steak on the plate and a couple of cheap Killians Irish Reds.

Warning: not conducive to
billiards, or wagering.

But something happened between the time in which we were seated and the time at which the check arrived. It seems Joe Waterloo and I had not only been over-served, but we also had enjoyed one, two or three mugs more than our companions. So since we were not able to control our mouths no more than we would be able to control a motor vehicle, we were rescued by Smitty, who lowered his truck's tailgate so that we could stumble in for the ride back to campus.

But before we even crossed Milledge we had a great idea. Tate Center was open and would surely have several tables open since most students were busy preparing for their finals the next day. It was the kind of idea that brought both excitement and joy to our feeble and addled brains. The kind of idea one can only grasp once he's had a few too many refills in the course of a couple hours. And not surprisingly our friends were fully supportive. Although perhaps they were just anxious to get rid of us.

So we found ourselves surrendering a couple of bucks and our student IDs and then stumbling to the table we had rented. Shortly thereafter it was easy to realize that everyone that was at the Tate Center pool hall that evening was watching us - two drunk fools trying to coordinate pool balls into a rack all while attempting to talk trash. You know, saying things like "Imgonna phlish u sunzbitch...hjulp."

The rest is rather...fuzzy. But I do believe we managed to finish one game in which we bet $1000 on the outcome. And it only took an hour and 28 minutes to finish. About four minutes into it was when we both realized how bad of a decision it was. I mean hell, we still had to walk back up Baxter. And study. Evidently.

Joe Waterloo won the game. And I never paid him the money. Which is why today I'm wishing him a happy 21st birthday!! You're finally legal bro! And the next time we won't have to translate for the waitress whenever you order.

Go Dawgs! So..which of the rest of you bastards is next? Rack em up!

Bernie