the Friday Misery is not feeling entitled

They blew up the place where your five yards short was born. So I don’t know why everyone keeps talking about it. Are you the kind of husband that gives his wife the same gift every five years? Are you wearing the same shirt today that you wore back then? Did you save the last three cups of milk from December 1st, 2012 to tailgate with tomorrow outside the Benz?

Put your History books down. The bell rang and there’s a new sheriff in town.

The Official SECCG entrance exam

Step off Trebeck! This is my show. Contestants, please remember to phrase your answers in the form of a correct answer.

1. Which number is greater, Matt Lauer’s creep factor or the number of Auburn mascots?
2. Which has a bigger mouth, Mr. Ed or Cam Newton?
   
3. Celebrity quotation: who said it? … “We beat the dog crap outta them didn’t we?” ...Gus Malzahn or Mike Vick??
4. Per capita, which city’s teenage boy population takes more cows to their high school prom, Pakistan or Opelika?
5. Greatest running back of all time….Herschel Walker...or the Goal Line Stalker? (I’m sorry, Bo who?)
6. What one item do Auburn area Costco’s and local supermarkets stock more frequently than all other items combined?
7. Is it Plainsmen or Planes’ men?
8. Eric Ramsey is to cassette tapes as Cam Newton is to _________?
9. Greater man, Vince Dooley or Pat Dye?
10. Please spell your name here —-> _____________.

Answers: 1. Ironically, Lauer by a long shot. Congrats National Broadcasting Company Creepshow. 2. Cam. But, have you ever seen the two of them in the same room? At the same time? Hmmmm…. 3. Both answers are correct! But Vick has paid for his crime. Gus, you’re next dipshit! 4. Opelika up until 2010 when there was a sudden surge in goat dates and Pakistan took the lead. 5. Yes, even the Official SECCG entrance exam has a freebie. 6. Toilet paper. What else? 7. Who gives a shit? 8. Church Steeples. Also, bagman is an acceptable answer as well. We’d also accept sleaze bag, laptop thief, panderer of attention (aka attention whore), outfit pimp, Pimp of Cheese, misogynistic asshole, whiny ass loser, eternal three year old, and of course Fairley’s shower partner. 9. Son, it ain’t how you start it’s how you finish! Patty shouldn’t even be mentioned in the same sentence as St. Vincent. 10. If yu jist rote a “X” than u cuddint git ntwo UGA. Wur dam eegle!

Comparing apples to some other apples

Of course I considered going back to re-read my post prior to the 2012 SEC Championship Game. It’s still one of my favorite Friday Miserys of all time. Honestly. So it would make sense to at least give it a cursory glance.

But as I reflected back on how I felt back then to be in that position, as well as what I thought I could remember about my words that came forth from my keyboard before that epic GA Dome battle, I realized the vast differences between then and now.

Back then I remember feeling like it was our turn, it was our time. I’d be willing to bet there is an air of “Hey, we’re due!” in that post. I was eager to see our team stand up to the nation’s darling, the straw that stirs the college football postseason drink, the mighty Saban’s minions vs our talented squad of hard working Dawgs.

Yes, I felt it was our time. In other words, I felt that 2012 team was entitled to the national title game as a reward for a hard fought season. I felt those players, and by proxy us as fans, were even destined for it.

I don’t feel entitled to anything today. Sure, that 2012 team came so very close to earning it all. Nothing was going to be handed to them on that field, on that day. We knew that going in. Alabama gave us their best effort, as expected, and the Dawgs nearly stood taller in the end. Nearly.

But despite that near euphoric moment five years ago, I don’t feel entitled to anything today. I certainly don’t think that’s Kirby’s message. In fact, I know so.

"Hey guys, I read the quarterback's eyes, broke on the route,
and this is what I earned!"

We can argue at a later date as to whether the 2017 SEC East champions are better than the 2012 SEC East champions. It’s a little too early to gauge that honestly right now, other than to say that the 2012 team had a more competitive geographic environment to do work in. But at this point in the season, I do feel it’s safe to say that this team has worked harder than any other Georgia team in recent memory.

Some of you may bristle at that last sentence, but bear with me. You have to remember that those 2012 seniors were a foundation that had grown into men together under one regime. They were a group that had been to the SEC Championship game together the year before.

This 2017 team that will vie for the SEC crown against Auburn tomorrow is in their second year under a new head coach. Some of them have had more than three different position coaches since they left high school. They finished last season with five losses.

They lost to Vandy at home. They needed a late field goal to beat Kentucky. They lost to Tech.

Georgia Tech.

And they responded in the off season by lifting more weights, by running more reps, by pushing each other even further, and by buying into what the coaches were selling even more. Then they laid absolute waste to the SEC East this year. From the end of the Georgia Tech game in Athens last year to today, this team has grown leaps and bounds.

After losing to Auburn three weeks ago Kirby said that this team will be remembered by how they respond. Well, they’ve responded by beating two lesser teams soundly. That’s resiliency.

That’s the kind of resiliency that sees its quarterback go down in the early moments of the season and says, “This is just the next obstacle.” That’s the kind of resiliency that finds a way to force a turnover late on the road against the storied Notre Dame Fighting Irish.

It’s focus in the eye of the storm. It’s taking a punch and steadying yourself instead of falling. It’s not just Georgia. It’s the new breed. It’s not preparing yourself for the professional Sundays. It’s facing the here and now with a low growl and leverage against the man in front of you.

You want more? You need more?

Well, the pressure is on Auburn. They set a bar I don’t think they can continue to clear. Their coach used his mouth to write a check that his team can’t cash. Gimmicks are cute, but just like two-ply shitpaper dangling from trees, mall Santa candy canes, and Bobby Lowder’s checkbook, they’re a dime a dozen.

The pressure is on Auburn. Compared to three weeks ago, they’re trading in roughly 40,000 fans for a nice dinner in Buckhead and what they hope will be a front row spot on Finebaum’s show. They’ll bring their Walmart jeans and anti-Bama signs/slogans/chants, still clinging to the only bowl they truly care about.

Bless their hearts. We beat our state rival and calmly boarded the buses for home. Auburn fans will still be talking about beating Alabama last week when the cows’ calves’ calves come home in 2028.

Erk telling his captain Ros the best way to GATA!

Georgia knows their mistakes. Tucker and Pittman and Chaney have taught and coached and revamped just for this moment. Bellamy and Dom and Zo didn’t come back to lose to the same plain men twice in one season. Chubb and Sony can shoulder the reins; their thighs only get heavier as the fourth quarter wears on. Then, “Oh hey there Mr. Swift! C’mon in!”

Georgia has the talent. We also have the depth. And both are rested and ready. While Bama was separating shoulders Saturday evening, Swift and Herrien and Clark and Muckle were iced and ready for Monday’s practice. Fromm, perhaps the only player to show his true composure in the fourth quarter three weeks ago, has been patiently waiting for a moment to shine on this kind of stage.

Tomorrow is time. It’s not time to go through warm-ups and stand there ready to be handed a trophy. Tomorrow is time to earn every yard, fight for every first down, challenge every ball carrier. Tomorrow is only our time if we make it our time. Kirby’s crew ain’t coming to claim what we believe is rightfully ours. He’s coming to put his players on a field for the opportunity to prove they’re worthy, prove they’re ready.

It’s “your time” if you wait in line during recess for a swing on the playground. It’s “your turn” if you have successfully traversed the queue before finally getting to ride Space Mountain at Disney World. You’re entitled to take a seat and say “WEEEE!!!!”

I don’t want a swing and Space Mountain is just turns in the dark at a high rate of speed, like an Indy 500 during a solar eclipse. I’m ready to see to the finish what these Dawgs started Labor Day weekend. Are you ready? Are you going to just stand there with your hand out, or are you going to shove it into the turf, bend your knees and get your hips set to drive through whoever, whatever is in front of you?

It's SEC Championship weekend baby! And these Dawgs weren't bred to be hunted. Now bow your heads...dear Lord, please don't let these tigersmenplaineagles hoard our Charmin over the weekend. And may our Savages run as rampant as our running backs run free. In the name of Uga V and Auburn's own four sport letterman, the late, great Erk Russell! Amen!

"Get a BIG neck."

Since everyone showed up by Sunday evening and camp began successfully forthwith, your Georgia Bulldogs have earned a preseason ranking of #15!

"It’s the sixth straight year Georgia landed in the top 25 in the first poll, but has finished unranked in two of the last four seasons in 2013 and 2016."

To avoid finishing unranked again, our offense line is going to have to be much better (because it can't possibly be....nevermind, not going to even finish that thought). To go from #15 to top four, our playmakers are going to have to stay healthy well past that Autumn visit to Neyland Stadium's zombie hillbilly turf of the walking dead apocalypse.

Anyway, thought I'd just off the ol' blogger password and say "Hey!" and whatnot. And also remind everyone to keep following their Erk calendar!

Go Dawgs y'all!

(click to enlarge)
h/t Mac...h/t Kid Terrell

Friday Misery - the one where Jake Ganus has more tackles than Jacob Eason

(due to time constraints, we join this episode of the Friday Misery already in progress…)

...and you can’t resist the temptation because you obviously live by the seat of your tired ass pants and have absolutely zero impulse control which means you’ll take any chance to stray from the task at hand which is to beat...

Oh look! A squirrel!!

...Georgia Southern.

Who really gives a shit what the AJC thinks Coach Richt’s picture with his quote prized recruit unquote really means? Who cares a good gotdamn how many eggs he had in his omelette?

And you too, Mr. Guy with the Glass Half Full. I can do my own math. I can even add without my fingers. So yes, I know the possible win total for the season without even asking my 13 year old for any help carrying the one.

And yet, I don’t care.

I don’t.

Really.

I just don’t.

You’re all wishing away the season. Hell, some of you blew out the candles on it long ago. It’s going to be a night game in Sanford and all you care about is whether or not Richt shook some kid’s hand firm enough. You’ve got such a damn hard on for some teenage boy that you won’t even bother recognizing any of the ACTUAL GEORGIA RED BLEEDING SENIORS WHO HAVE GIVEN TIME AND EFFORT AND GUTS AND ACTUAL GOTDAMN LIMBS FOR THIS PROGRAM. I don’t give a shit about your ifs and buts candy and nuts. You know why? Because this time next year you’ll be aiming that bulge in your pants towards some other seventeen year old.

You sicken me.

Georgia plays Georgia Southern.

Tomorrow.

Night. 

They will actually play a football game!

Isn’t THAT the reason we love this time of year? Isn’t THAT the reason we Hunker Down? Isn’t THAT the reason we care so damn much?

Jake Ganus stepped in with one more season of eligibility. His own school turned its back on him and he said “Fine, I’m going to Athens to tackle some other assholes in the wrong colored helmets. I’m going to play for Georgia where they want some damn players, and where they need some guys like me that have a big ol’ motor and a willingness to bring bad intentions once the ball is snapped.”

And he’s not the only one you’re turning your back on. Ganus isn’t the only DAMNGOODDAWG you’ve already forgotten as you log onto your message bored and plan out just how Coach [insert any name from the sublime to the ridiculous] is going to get your new quarterback SEC ready. No, you’ve also turned your back on Quayvon and Jordan Jenkins and John Theus and Kenny Towns and Sterling Bailey and Chris Mayes and James Deloach and Jay Rome and Hunter Long and Marshall Morgan and Josh Dawson and Devin Bowman and Collin Barber. You’ve forgotten all about guys like Malcolm Mitchell and Justin Scott-Wesley and Keith Marshall and Kolton Houston and what they’ve sacrificed to make this team better.*

I’m just tired of all the asshats and their thumbs that smell like poo. I’m tired of people forgetting the love of the game because they’re too butthurt over October to wear their colors through the highs and the lows. I’m just miserable at the thought of a DawgNation divided against its own team just because some “fans” are too simple-minded to give a shit about what matters. What really, really matters

IMPORTANT:

It’s November 20th, so CLICK HERE for a MAJOR recruiting UPDATE!!!!1!!1

(you’re a dumbass)

Now, back to actual football...

We’re favored by 14. How can we possibly score enough y’all? How? We needed our smallest player on the roster to score 12 points on his own last week just to beat lowly Auburn. This is Georgia Southern. The program that ERK built with his own hands. The TEAM that will walk into any stadium and play anybody. They’re going to come in here tomorrow night with a full roster - not just the sixty something players they’ve been allowed the last few they’ve visited - of players wanting nothing but to kick our ass. They’re not in the hunt for a moral victory. (That’s the team we play next week.) This is Georgia Southern and they intend to win a tackle football game. The Eagles are going to run run run run pass run run run run run run pass run run run run run run run run run run run. This is going to be an ugly game and we’re going to need to be loud.

STAND UP DUMBASS WHEN YOU READ THIS!!!

I said we’re going to need to be loud!! We’re going to need to be early for our seniors. We’re going to need to be OUR team’s 12th man. We’re going to need to be ready to pick them up when they’re down. We’re going to need to be ready to lift them from goodness to greatness with our voices. We're going to need to #RaiseTheFlag and #LightUpSanford.

Please bow your heads....Lord, thank you for Quayvon's Facemask, may it rest in peace, and all the other seniors on our roster. Please forgive our shortcomings and deliver unto us one more win in Sanford this season. Amen and Go Dawgs!

*I know I forgot some. Lo, I too am imperfect.

"Screw Florida and the mule they came in here on!"

Seen this gem making the rounds today as a way of remembering Coach Erk Russell. I'd be remiss if I didn't add it here.


Erk Russell Wins the Game Ball in 1980 from The UGA Vault on Vimeo.

God bless Erk! GATA! (h/t Heath)

August 29th - the Hereafter

You're either with us or against us. 

Seven days. 

Go Dawgs!

August 15th - "Dogs will play without Dicks."

All Georgia fans love Lewis Grizzard. So of course Erk would use the greatest headline in sports history as a way of motivating his players while also throwing his old linebacker with the unique name a bone.

If you're unfamiliar with the background to this reference you MUST IMMEDIATELY STOP READING THIS AND WHATEVER ELSE YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING THAT'S IMPORTANT AND WORTHWHILE and click here for Catfish and Cornbread's post from several years ago. And don't slack off before the comments. Because that's when the real fun story-telling begins.

(Also, please don't let their masthead picture sway you. They stopped updating back when we were all excited about that guy coming to Athens. Really miss that blog.)

August 6th - Think BIG today.

Getting closer y'all. How's your gameface coming along? If you give those practice headlines too long of a glance, run two big miles. There will be no easing into the season a month from now. Go Dawgs!

It's August and Erk just ripped another page off the calendar.

My first instinct was to drop a hype video or one of those highlight montages here for today. But I think I'd rather keep things simple...clear headed...except for maybe a few drops of blood.

Yes, I think it's time to get a big neck.

Open the door and take a whiff. That's August sunshine in your face this morning. If you want the team to keep their minds right, set an example. When most of the SEC elite players were at PCB during spring break, Nick Chubb was back in Cedartown working out with his high school. That's old school. No fake juice. No rap-induced hype video. No half-assed effort to raise the bar back up.

Just another day to get better. 

Erk's Legend of MamboGook

As relayed before...

Erk Russell always had a way with communication. Otherwise "GATA!" would've never been born from GTAA, Georgia Tech Athletic Association. Or whatever the hell.

So when the lesson turned to gap integrity, Erk used this story of Mambo Gook to communicate the importance of being where you're supposed to be, doing what you're supposed to be doing. "If you think you're coming my way, that's the wrong hole brother, because you ain't gonna make nothin' here."

So, with that in mind...as promised.

The "Mambo Gook" story goes like this: A young Georgia Tech engineering graduate had been working in the oil fields of Saudi Arabia for around six months. He was about to go stark raving mad because the only women that he had seen in Arabia were those dressed in the long gowns with the veils covering their faces. The women were not very friendly at all. As a matter of fact, he hadn't spoken to one since he had been working there.

He had been used to the feminine pulchritude of Peachtree Street in Atlanta and missed that scenery and his feminine companionship more than anything else. As he was sitting in the little bar at the golf course there in Saudi Arabia, he happened to be seated next to one of the local sheiks.

This particular sheik had spent some time in the United States and conversed with the young engineer as best he could with the little English he could speak. As they sipped on their drinks the young engineer expressed to the sheik that he liked everything fine, except he really missed the feminine companionship that he once enjoyed back in Atlanta. The sheik could get enough out of the conversation to understand what the young man meant. He promised the engineer that he would have, from his harem, one of his wives waiting for him when he got off from work the following afternoon.

Well, the young engineer hustled and worked through the day. He could hardly wait until quitting time. As he approached his tent, he saw this woman standing out front with her long gowns and veil. He figured that she knew why she was there and he surely knew why she was there, so he wouldn't waste any time. He picked her up right there at the tent flap, rushed her inside, threw her down on the cot and commenced to making wild, passionate love to the woman. Immediately she began to shout, "Mambo Gook," "Mambo Gook." She repeated that over and over and over again. The young engineer figured this was an Arabian expression of ecstasy.

Well, it didn't take too long for the young man to finish the first round and as soon as he relaxed his grasp, the woman still screaming, "Mambo Gook," ran through the tent flap and disappeared across the desert, continuing to scream, "Mambo Gook."

The next day the young engineer and the local sheik had made arrangements to play golf and the young engineer wanted a chance to thank the sheik for his courtesy of having the woman there. As they played the first hole, the sheik hit a magnificent shot, straight to the green, the ball hit, bounced and rolled right into the cup. It was a great golf shot and the young engineer wanted to express the greatness of that shot with something more than the usual, "Nice shot," or, "Great shot." The thought of the Arabian expression of ecstasy occurred to him, and he said, "Mambo Gook, sheik, Mambo Gook.".

The sheik turned to him, looked at him with amazement and said, "What do you mean, wrong hole?"

-  pages 50-51, from Erk: Football, Fans and Friends 

The Railroad Track Crowd hated Tech, therefore, so do we.

A salute to a bygone tradition.

Erk hated Tech, therefore, so do we.

From the words of his players, remembering the greatest college football coach to ever blow a goddamn whistle.

I know I've slacked off this week. But before you leave for Sanford Stadium, make sure you read the Legend of MamboGook, which I'll repost here shortly. 

Erk wanted to beat Tech more than any other. If you can't feel that, please stay home.

Guys like Mac hate Tech, therefore, so do we.

I see you there, wallowing in your own misery. Feeling sorry for yourself because Missouri is going back to Atlanta. Some of you are even mad at Arkansas, even though we were first and goal late against Sakerlina...even though we were up 7-0 in the first quarter in Jacksonville.

Wipe those cheap ass tears dumbass. We've got Tech tomorrow!! Our seniors deserve better than your weak, sniveling, pathetic sobs.

I'm an old guy, but young enough that I need to be reminded of a certain rivalry's importance. Mac was kind enough to oblige.

My love with the Georgia Dawgs began way back in 1957 with me attending my first Georgia football game...I was 8 years old.  Our neighbor would load up his Ford station wagon with some 12-14 boys from Cobb Street and off we would go to Athens.  If you were under 18 years of age, you could get in Sanford Stadium by purchasing a high school student ticket for $1.00...sat in the GG section...the Green Grass hill where the flagpole is today.   Even sat on the railroad tracks a few times. I have been attending UGA games for 57 years...have not missed many...even in my Marine Corps years was able to get to many...once all the way from Okinawa.  In this season of my life, I realize I don't have that many football seasons left...but I will always pull for the Dawgs.

57 years has taught me to dislike Auburn and Florida and South Carolina and Tennessee but I genuinely hate Georgia Tech.  And with my memories of the Tech games...I always think of Coach Erk RUSSELL...G.A.T.A.  and  TUCK FECH...Erk was and will always be the original Damn Good Dawg!!!

That's the key. Time teaches us to hate other football teams. Clean Old Fashioned Hate is born right here in our hearts and grown from Georgia's own red clay.

Go Dawgs!

"We are going to be something different and give the same effort."

Yesterday I mentioned how successful Pruitt's 4-2-5 look was against Missouri, but that going into Little Rock it would likely be something different. Take it away Ramik:

Georgia will be seeing a totally [sic] offense, than it did in Columbia, Missouri. While Missouri runs many four and five wide receiver sets, Arkansas often lines up with two and three tight end sets. 

And even though Missouri was held scoreless, the members of the defense know that it is a new week and a new, different opponent.

“It’s a new week. We barely looked at Missouri,” Wilson said. “They are a physical team, but with the game plan we got this week, it’s gonna be fun for us.”

"Get a big neck."

While Georgia came out with a three-safety defense against Missouri, this week’s defense figures to be more conventional,  given the opponent. Wilson knows that the defense is going to have to adjust, while still putting up results similar to Missouri.

“We are not the same defense that is gonna come out every time,” Wilson said. “We are going to be something different and give the same effort.”

When summing up the matchup between Arkansas’ rushing attack and Georgia’s rush defense Johnson also was brief.

“It is going to be an all-out fight."  (via R&B)

I especially like the "same effort" part. And given that Arkansas is first in the league in rushing the football, it's gonna be a Mambo Gook kinda night in Lil' Rock.

Erk and the legend of "Mambo Gook"

Erk Russell always had a way with communication. Otherwise "GATA!" would've never been born from GTAA, Georgia Tech Athletic Association. Or whatever the hell.

So when the lesson turned to gap integrity, Erk used this story of Mambo Gook to communicate the importance of being where you're supposed to be, doing what you're supposed to be doing. "If you think you're coming my way, that's the wrong hole brother, because you ain't gonna make nothin' here."

So, with that in mind...as promised.

The "Mambo Gook" story goes like this: A young Georgia Tech engineering graduate had been working in the oil fields of Saudi Arabia for around six months. He was about to go stark raving mad because the only women that he had seen in Arabia were those dressed in the long gowns with the veils covering their faces. The women were not very friendly at all. As a matter of fact, he hadn't spoken to one since he had been working there.

He had been used to the feminine pulchritude of Peachtree Street in Atlanta and missed that scenery and his feminine companionship more than anything else. As he was sitting in the little bar at the golf course there in Saudi Arabia, he happened to be seated next to one of the local sheiks.

This particular sheik had spent some time in the United States and conversed with the young engineer as best he could with the little English he could speak. As they sipped on their drinks the young engineer expressed to the sheik that he liked everything fine, except he really missed the feminine companionship that he once enjoyed back in Atlanta. The sheik could get enough out of the conversation to understand what the young man meant. He promised the engineer that he would have, from his harem, one of his wives waiting for him when he got off from work the following afternoon.

Well, the young engineer hustled and worked through the day. He could hardly wait until quitting time. As he approached his tent, he saw this woman standing out front with her long gowns and veil. He figured that she knew why she was there and he surely knew why she was there, so he wouldn't waste any time. He picked her up right there at the tent flap, rushed her inside, threw her down on the cot and commenced to making wild, passionate love to the woman. Immediately she began to shout, "Mambo Gook," "Mambo Gook." She repeated that over and over and over again. The young engineer figured this was an Arabian expression of ecstasy.

Well, it didn't take too long for the young man to finish the first round and as soon as he relaxed his grasp, the woman still screaming, "Mambo Gook," ran through the tent flap and disappeared across the desert, continuing to scream, "Mambo Gook."

The next day the young engineer and the local sheik had made arrangements to play golf and the young engineer wanted a chance to thank the sheik for his courtesy of having the woman there. As they played the first hole, the sheik hit a magnificent shot, straight to the green, the ball hit, bounced and rolled right into the cup. It was a great golf shot and the young engineer wanted to express the greatness of that shot with something more than the usual, "Nice shot," or, "Great shot." The thought of the Arabian expression of ecstasy occurred to him, and he said, "Mambo Gook, sheik, Mambo Gook.".

The sheik turned to him, looked at him with amazement and said, "What do you mean, wrong hole?"

-  pages 50-51, from Erk: Football, Fans and Friends 

Glad one of our Damn Good Dawgs relayed this story to our defense earlier this month. It will prove useful later today, and the rest of the Saturdays that follow.

Go Dawgs!

Erk Russell and the hereafter

Two more days. Use today to get a BIG neck and run a BIG mile!

"NO DEPOSIT, NO RETURN!" - Erk Russell

Practice starts today. Camp opened and iPads were dispensed. Now it's grind time. And what better way to start than with a look at one of Erk Russell's infamous August calendars. (Here's last year's. And many thanks to Scott for sharing the one below.)

In 1982, while Georgia was preparing for an opener against Clemson again, Russell was busy starting the Georgia Southern program from scratch after 40 years of dormancy. No real surprise that he incorporated a method he'd used in Athens to motivate his players and raise the bar each and every day.

When GSU hired Erk, Lewis Grizzard is noted for commenting - "When they landed Erk Russell, they got themselves a franchise." And right on cue, in just the Eagles fourth season and just their second as a full NCAA member, Erk lead Georgia Southern to their first national title.

Erk Russell was a master motivator. We should remember him at all times, but especially in August. Because no one could get a team in shape mentally and physically like Erk.

Click for larger version

Monday's Meatloaf - "Off and On" day is HERE!!

"Get OFF the sofa and On the field! Run Run RUN!!" - Erk Russell

Coach Richt,

Congratulations on the advent of another new season in Athens. Glory awaits us again this fall as you and your team stand at the precipice of summer camp. We're eager to cheer you as you run onto the field...or casually stroll. Whichever. Easy on that new hip man.

I wanted to let you know that I will unfortunately not be able to attend tonight's function at the Gwinnett Center. Doggoneit! Life is happening and I just won't have a chance to swing by and hobnob with you and the others.

I know, I know. I was so excited back in March and even offered up my own backyard (an offer that still stands actually) as an option for UGA Day. But you know how things are when you're kinda a big deal. When you walk down Prince Ave. in mid-afternoon, that's kinda the way it is for me around these parts. Pulled every which way and the other. You know.

So my apologies. Please tell Greg and Jere to go easy on the scotch and give Coach Stricklin my sincerest welcome. I'll see you in Clempson in a few weeks. But if you need any help during practices you can hit me up on the twitter. I'll come running.

And of course, if it runs late tonight you are welcome to stay here at "Bernie's House of Estrogen". Do you prefer Italian linen or Egyptian cotton?

(AP Photo)

Later dude.

Today's Ingredients
- Congrats to Big John! And to all who were able to survive another ho-hum three sets/three tiebreakers kind of win.
- As we draw closer to the 2013 tackle football campaign, I hear more and more chatter about Jay Rome having a break out season. Kimberley shares her thoughts on that very subject.
- Steele ranks the positions and Blutarsky breaks it all down in terms of the opener.
- Some reason for optimism regarding the 2013 defense from Garbin.
- Corbindawg would like Richt to "pop" Kolton Houston into the starting lineup September 7th.
- Tyler spinning the hits with this "oldie goldie".
- If you missed it (like I did), Macondawg looks at the biggest disasters in UGA Athletics the last 20 years. Luckily me spilling two stadiums cups of bourbon and Coke at the 2010 USCe game didn't make the ballot.
- In need of some Dawg porn today? Try Andrew's post on Aaron Murray that includes some wicked highlights.
- Remember when I told you about T Kyle King's new book "Fighting Like Cats and Dogs"? Well, I got mine in the mail. Have you ordered yours yet?
- Lastly, you'll recall last year when we used Erk's motivational calendar to prepare us for the 2012 season. Thanks to Scott, we'll have another one begin to make an appearance later this week. GATA. Always.

Build a BIG neck!

So yeh, camp opens tomorrow. Football is finally upon us! Sure there's still 33 days to wait for the toe to meet the leather, but for hotshot bloggers this is like Christmas Eve, or walking out of the classroom after your last exam before spring break, or your 21st birthday, or your first visit to a strip club, or your 21st birthday at a strip club, or shopping...for a new tv!!

It was a long, arduous and, to be quite honest, awkward off season. There was a lot of hurt and pain and "what might have been" to swallow and digest. We all ran out of Tums before the calendar hit February and we just wallowed in our own self-pity and loathing. Some of you haven't even showered since Christmas. C'mon now.

But tomorrow the sun rises on new opportunities. The horizon will fill with aspirations and goals aimed at building on last year's success. You trudge along, stumble, learn and keep moving. From Woodruff Practice Fields we'll get updates about which defensive player is making strides towards the top of Grantham's empty depth chart. Some freshman will spark message boreds to fire off unbridled enthusiasm. Perhaps if we're lucky, a scuffle or two will break out between some linemen.

Buckle your chin strap Reader and stop hanging your head. Time to get after it. Here's your fork!

Bernie

Clearer picture of "Erk", the movie

The Banner-Herald's Chris White gives us a bigger picture so to speak of the movie that Beau Turpin has undertaken. It can't be easy to cast a movie about Erk Russell, much less develop it to suit the needs of every one of the man's fans.

I think this sums it up nicely:

“So far, we’ve had everyone’s blessing, and we’ll be doing a lot of shooting in Athens, at the university with the majority of it filmed in Bulloch County and some in Savannah,” Turpin said. “All of it will be shot in Georgia, though, and I don’t think there has been a movie on this scale that has been shot about Georgia, in Georgia and by Georgia filmmakers.”

Turpin is hoping the impact goes even further than the state lines, though.

“We want this to be a blockbuster hit and to really inspire people, make them cry, make them laugh and make them want to get up and run out on the field and hit somebody,” Turpin said. “It’s definitely more than a sports movie.”

Just as Erk was so much more than a coach.

Erk statue update

Since the news broke over a year ago, Dawg fans have been coming here for updates on the statue being made and erected outside Paulson Stadium on the Georgia Southern campus. And here we are just a day away from the unveiling.

For more info on the finished product (as well as a sneak peak at it) you can click here. We may not ever get the man enshrined in the College Football Hall of Fame where he should be, but the next time I'm down near Statesboro I'll definitely be dropping by to visit a long time friend...one more time!

Friday Misery - don't get Mambo Gook'd

(BTW...Gurshall just reeled off another 12 yard gain in Jordan-Hare. Bobo yawned.)

And now back to your regularly scheduled misery....

Tortured, uneasy feeling
Still uneasy about this game. The common expression this week has been something along the lines of "I hope we can avoid injuries." Yes, definitely. But isn't that a goal every week? Instead I wonder how focused we are and how prepared we are to face a team I would classify as a trojan horse cupcake. Usually when there is an FCS team on the schedule you can prepare for just a smaller, less athletic version of yourself.

Georgia Southern is a machine. And one that works in a different manner than most all of the others. Which makes them especially dangerous. Most of their players don't have all the "stars" that guys in the mighty SEC have, but they have more than enough "want to" and "hustle". And experience. No, they're not the same team that put a shit stain in Uncle Nicky's tightey whiteys last season. But they know as well as any team in America what it takes to win football games.

Holy shit Southern! Pass the goddamn ball. At least once...

I remember when we played these guys in 2000 when they had the original Adrian Peterson. We won by what appears to be a comfortable 29-7 margin, but that kid ran for what seemed like 780 yards. And that was just the first half. And the next week Quincy smoked a bowl, jumped up and down pregame and then threw 780 interceptions against South Carolina...in the first quarter.

But I digress....

These Eagles will put a scare into us. Take that to the bank. I'm predicting a tense halftime that eventually brings about an arduous third quarter that somehow relents to our depth and talent. But nearly a 40 point spread? Really? No, put away the sportsbook. The points are too much if you ask me.

Gap integrity
Defensively, tomorrow is about discipline and keeping the Eagles in long yardage. I summarily reject the notion that this is a "tune-up" game for some clean old fashioned hate next week. Seven days from now we will have spent two weeks preparing for this offensive scheme - the cut blocks, the option reads and the misdirection. As it stands right now we've only spent a handful. So tomorrow will require focus.

Or, in the man's own words:

The "Mambo Gook" story goes like this: A young Georgia Tech engineering graduate had been working in the oil fields of Saudi Arabia for around six months. He was about to go stark raving mad because the only women that he had seen in Arabia were those dressed in the long gowns with the veils covering their faces. The women were not very friendly at all. As a matter of fact, he hadn't spoken to one since he had been working there.

Frying fish..no time for talking to sheiks.

He had been used to the feminine pulchritude of Peachtree Street in Atlanta and missed that scenery and his feminine companionship more than anything else. As he was sitting in the little bar at the golf course there in Saudi Arabia, he happened to be seated next to one of the local sheiks.

This particular sheik had spent some time in the United States and conversed with the young engineer as best he could with the little English he could speak. As they sipped on their drinks the young engineer expressed to the sheik that he liked everything fine, except he really missed the feminine companionship that he once enjoyed back in Atlanta. The sheik could get enough out of the conversation to understand what the young man meant. He promised the engineer that he would have, from his harem, one of his wives waiting for him when he got off from work the following afternoon.

Well, the young engineer hustled and worked through the day. He could hardly wait until quitting time. As he approached his tent, he saw this woman standing out front with her long gowns and veil. He figured that she knew why she was there and he surely knew why she was there, so he wouldn't waste any time. He picked her up right there at the tent flap, rushed her inside, threw her down on the cot and commenced to making wild, passionate love to the woman. Immediately she began to shout, "Mambo Gook," "Mambo Gook." She repeated that over and over and over again. The young engineer figured this was an Arabian expression of ecstasy.

Well, it didn't take too long for the young man to finish the first round and as soon as he relaxed his grasp, the woman still screaming, "Mambo Gook," ran through the tent flap and disappeared across the desert, continuing to scream, "Mambo Gook."

The next day the young engineer and the local sheik had made arrangements to play golf and the young engineer wanted a chance to thank the sheik for his courtesy of having the woman there. As they played the first hole, the sheik hit a magnificent shot, straight to the green, the ball hit, bounced and rolled right into the cup. It was a great golf shot and the young engineer wanted to express the greatness of that shot with something more than the usual, "Nice shot," or, "Great shot." The thought of the Arabian expression of ecstasy occurred to him, and he said, "Mambo Gook, sheik, Mambo Gook.".

The sheik turned to him, looked at him with amazement and said, "What do you mean, wrong hole?"

-  pages 50-51, from Erk: Football, Fans and Friends 

The message is...gap integrity should never be compromised: "If you think you're coming my way, that's the wrong hole brother, because you ain't gonna make nothin' here." That and the life of an engiNerd is lonely, then pathetic and then lonely again.

But the first message is what is crucial. Stand your ground Dawgs. Survive and advance, then let's ring the Chapel Bell! Once again in the words of the legend - "There ain't nothin' like being a Bulldog on Saturday night - - - after winning a football game!!"

GATA y'all!