Post-Kentucky - The Facts of Life

Great SEC win on Saturday. It was Homecoming. The band played a lot. The game was in control early. And few if any injuries.

So another great day to be a Bulldog!

via

On offense, not much went wrong except for a couple interceptions. Gunner seemed in sync and had nearly 200 yards passing while averaging 6 yards per rush as well. Bowens led the way on the ground, Frazier looked good bouncing back from that critical fumble against Bama, and Walker looked good late. McCray also got some runs from non-short yardage situations.

Defensively we looked more in sync as well. Much more. Last week Jon Smith had Brent Rollins on Dawg Dispatch and they talked about how this roster as a whole is not filled with NFL talent like years past and how that is an adjustment for a coach like Schumann. So I was watching Saturday through that lens and it really made sense. We're not as fast to the ball in spots, and Saturday we got our first sack of the season by a defensive lineman - Nnamdi Ogboko. We are who we are and that's just the facts in 2025.

If anything it's something to watch. Coaches are going to have to work extra hard to make sure they have the right guys in and the right plays called on defense. It worked on Saturday as we gave a struggling offense an opportunity to continue to struggle. Kentucky limped to 225 yards passing and only had 45 yards on the ground. Their second touchdown came late against guys trying to gain some on field experience. (And to be fair, that probably wouldn't have had a chance to happen without a Puglisi interception.)

Special teams had a couple mistakes, like a block in the back on a Branch return. But had its usually stellar moments like a Thorson punt downed on the 1 yard line by Humphreys, who just batted it out of bounds instead of trying to field it and potentially letting it leak into the endzone.

Yep, great day. Onto Auburn!

Digesting Kentucky

With a couple of nights to sleep on it, the fog has cleared and I think we see what Saturday night in Lexington actually was - a road win in the SEC, even when we had an off night.

So I think the best way to translate this from my brain to a page on the web, is to use pros and cons. Let's dive into it starting with the good.

Pros

• The defense wasn't at its usual prowess in tackling, but stood up to the test with a depleted defensive line. For the fourth consecutive game they have not given up a touchdown. And looking back, we can all agree that to do so on Saturday night would've meant a loss.
• Jalon Walker's night doesn't show up enough in the game stats. But man oh man, what a night he had!
• Tyrion Ingram-Dawkins earned every bit of his Co-Defensive lineman of the week honors.
• Special teams had a good night when we needed them to have one. Thorson averaged nearly 50 yards a punt and had three inside the 20 yard line. Woodring connected on both FG attempts.

Cons

• Beck had an off night. As much as some would lay the offensive woes completely at Bobo's feet, I suspect a lot of the inability to find an offensive rhythm is on our quarterback's shoulders. It's a new era with helmet communication. At 15 seconds on the play clock Bobo's mic is turned off. There were several plays where Beck just didn't check into a pass and went with a run into a seven man front. Weird, and not something we're used to from the last few years as there was little to no drop off in line of scrimmage adjustments from Stetson to Carson.
• That being said, the play calling was very vanilla. Which is a good point to remember, Kirby determines the game plan. And I can see (clearly) a scenario where he tells Bobo to save pages of the playbook for the gauntlet that starts in Tuscaloosa.
• The bend but don't break defense was just enough, but the lack of contain on Vandergriff is definitely a point of emphasis heading into a matchup with the country's best dual threat quarterback. BVG made use of space for big gains. Milroe can turn yards into actual touchdowns.
• More than Bobo and Beck's play calling, the blocking overall should receive a failing grade. And let's give a nod to Kentucky's game plan and their players for having a great game. On our side, even before Ratledge went down, the OL was not in sync. In short, they were dominated for much of the game. Especially in run blocking.
• And our wide receivers and tight ends didn't fare any better. That screen pass to Frazier for -5 yards saw both Delp (who usually runs a clinic in downfield blocking) and Lovett whiff. Not good.

I think that's enough of that. It's time to take the win and move along. 

With games like this, I always attempt to view it through Kirby's eyes. It was a ugly win ahead of a bye week, with a huge game in Tuscaloosa up next. Use the extra week to sharpen up. Iron on iron. Go Dawgs!

the Friday Misery isn't scared of blue cats

/checks calendar

Full moons. Jason Vorhees' hockey mask. Walmart parking lots. Presidential elections. Snakes. Sharks. Women driving in the left lane on the interstate with one hand on the mascara brush and the other holding their triple non-soy half-caff mocha latte. Black cats. Hell, most cats! They freak me out man!

Those are some things to be afraid of. A blue cat trying to shoot a three point shot with a football from their own 25 yard line.

Nope.

the Bourbon Trail's Tales

The Keeneland crew!

So yes, we've taken to venturing up yonder in the spring. Keeneland is an amazing venue, where memories to be made are ripe for the picking. Taking pictures with our ladies all dolled up. Chris trying to herd us like a group of 8 year olds a full year off their hyperactivity meds. Kelley nerding out over the race bulletin. Heath and I getting absorbed into a bachelorette party for pictures against the rail. Tommy Guns nearly leaving a winning ticket worth hundreds behind!

Just lying there. Next to a puddle mixture of bourbon, melted ice, champagne, and a hint of Tommy's homemade cologne. 

There was also the first time I went up for a Georgia/Kentucky tilt. Celebrating the win with Tony's crew, we were about to run out of bourbon. So Wayne and I walked stumbled up to the local CVS's liquor aisle to replenish. 

Yes you read that correctly.

Shorter versions: early morning conversations in the snakes at Buffalo Trace, waxing your own bottle in Loretto (not a euphemism), Bluegrass Tavern, bundled up for a noon kickoff and sitting next to the Redcoats!

from business decisions, to game time ones

The writing was on the wall for both Brock Vandergriff and Jamon Dumas-Johnson: the 3rd string QB wasn't going to have significant playing time, and the former starting middle backer was seeing it significantly diminish right before his very eyes. So they packed up and caravanned up to the Blue Grass State.

CJ Allen on a previous kitty hunt

It was the right decision. Probably still is for both. JDJ is off to a good start. Vandergriff struggled mightily against the Gamechickens, but that Kentucky O-line is terrible. Like swiss cheese that has aged poorly. I mean, they were so bad you could see their mommas leaving the game early. They were so bad I hear Stoops made them attend classes this week. They were so bad, their professors sent them back! Oof.

That's bad. But there was a moment earlier in the week when I thought, why shouldn't Stoops start (checks notes) Gavin Wimsatt at quarterbacker. Our coaches and most of our players don't need tape on their former player and teammate. 

Things Bernie types that make you go "Hmmm...". But for our side we know what's what. Beck and his boys bring their pimp walk to Kroger Field, while CJ Allen uses his helmet communicator thingy ma-jig to direct blitzes and the what-nots.

We held these guys to under 200 yards last season, with just 50 something rushing. I for one believe there's a chance to do something even worse to these kitties tomorrow night.

Another game time decision...24 point spread? Wow. That's a LOT!

"Thank you sir may I have another?!"

Screw it! Lay the points! I don't know if Vandergriff starts but he sure as shit ain't finishing! Go Dawgs!

An Old-Fashioned Don Draper

Remember when Kentucky was sexy, they were trendy. They beat the florida fightin' gators in the swamp after a 300 year drought and suddenly the "Wild"cats are hot shit on a tin roof. They had "super talented Will Levis Dungarees slingin' the rock. LOLOL!! They were who Tennessee is now - the team people want to pick in the summer so they might look like they know something come falling leaves season.

Turns out, these so called "experts" think 12 personnel is code for sneaking an extra player onto the field. Their dad was a knuckle-dragger and their very own are starting to need some bactine and band-aids. They're chasing the spotlight when they are meant for the dim lighting in mom's basement.

Because the truth is, these Wildcats are staler than that half pack of Marlboro Reds that has been lodged in between seat rows of Kroger Double Fuel Points! Stadium section 222 since the late '90s. After A&M slammed the door on him, Stoops whined in the off season about Wildcat fans stepping up with some NIL money, but for his tackle football players this time. Then he rewarded said fans by losing the SEC opener, at home, to Shane Beamer's travelling cluckers.

Wildcat football donors are so pissed they're diggin up old VHS tapes of Tim Couch and Coach Mumme's days to get them through to basketball season. 

Now, please remove your snap back caps and bow your heads...Dear Almighty Lord, please generously provide our backs room to roam free and Beck the time to spread the wealth. And not just the NIL kind. In the name of Rex Robinson's whatchamacallit, Amen!

the Friday Misery converses with the internet idiocy

It's short, but it's sweet. So grab the remote and let's dive right in! Because on this episode of “Conversations After a Loss”....

The Internets

1. “...and we all knew this would happen. We all knew Georgia would implode like this and what we thought was a magical season is actually just another flop and we’ll back our way into that Independence Bowl again because we can’t have nice things and oh have you seen this video of a chimpanzee cooking pop tarts in the microwave with the foil wrapper omg it makes me laugh so hard…”
2. “9-4 season. Not much better than last year to be honest.”
3. “So we need to beat Auburn or Bama, and then hope that…”
4. “I hope we do implode. Kirby needs to go back to the coordinator level. Hopefully we can get <INSERT NAME OF HOT MESSAGE BORED NFL COACH> before it’s too late!
5. “Lost a recruit. Whoa boy, here we go again.”

Reality

1. “Dude, we lost one game. Got our asses beat for sure. But all of our goals are still ahead of us.”
2. “No, are you high? We’re 9-1. Put down your crack pipe for one minute and sort through some facts okay?”
3. “Nope nope nope nope! Stop right there. What we need to do is beat Kentucky. That’s step one partner. Step two, beat Tech. Then we worry about Bama or Auburn. Get back on the winning run and the rest will take of itself.”
4. “Shut. Up.”
5. “If you believe for one second that we’re on a recruiting downtick, well, it might be time to go back on your meds.”

"I believeeeee I can fly!!" (via ABC Sports)

1+7+17+24+27 = 2017

Senior Day, the home closer if you will, is always a time for reflection. And when I think about all of these seniors, I’ll call back to that day that those mentioned in the subheading stood in front of the media and explained why they were staying in Athens for their senior season. Regardless of the final W-L record, regardless of whether we win the SECCG and make it into the CFB Playoffs, this season has been made possible by their leadership.

When you think about it, it’s really because of them that we haven’t had one home nooner this season. What a blessing!

And to be honest, how the team responds after last weekend’s loss will start with the senior leadership as well. I think they’re going to finish strong. I think Kentucky’s not going to know what hit them. I think Christian Payne gets sent in to throw a block and next thing you know there’s #JazzHands all up in our endzone one last time. Then there’s Wynn raising Chubb to the Heavens next to the Hedges one last time. And God I hope there’s a blindside sack by Bellamy and that beautiful oblong spheroid pops free then Zo scoops and scores that damn thing!

Lord have mercy! How ‘bout them Dawgs y’all! So please let us bow our heads...dear Lord, can we please see a Parrish or Sanders or Davis pick one more time? Maybe also followed by one last glimpse in Sanford of Wims soaring to some ungodly height to catch that ball before returning to the earth with six points? Thank you, and please bless all these Dawgs in their future endeavors. Once a Dawg, always a Dawg. How sweet it is! Amen!

Will the biggest factor for Saturday’s game even be on the field?

The largest crowd Kentucky has played against was in Columbia when South Carolina beat lost to them 23-13 in front of 82,000. For the rest of their games they’ve played in front of an average of less than 50 thousand people.

In fact, here’s a look at the crowds they’ve faced on the road other than that loss to the Gamecocks:

- at Southern Miss, 22,761
- at Mississippi St., 58,963
- at Vanderbilt, 27, 346

The Sanford crowd was notably subpar against the Gamecocks. In the seniors’ last game between the hedges, I hope we manage to lift their spirits while crushing Kentucky’s will. If so, it could be quite a special day in Athens.

Are the fans ready to get behind the team? I think so. I’ve heard a lot of complaints about the backlash following the Auburn beat down, naturally. Many are especially upset that some took Miami’s win just as hard as our loss.

I get it, but I really think there’s a very small minority out there that can’t see that both Coach Richt and the Georgia program are better off after the split. I think most can see the results Kirby is bringing in in terms of recruiting energy and game preparation. I also think he has the leadership in him to help the team see that loss Saturday and turn it into something to build upon late.

Now, if the game were today there might still be a hangover from the plains, both with the players recovery and especially in the fans’ spirits. But I think by Saturday everyone will be ready to put that game against Auburn behind them. Nothing heals the wounds from a loss like that like getting out there and drawing first blood.

So bring the noise! And go Dawgs!

"Never quit attitude"

The Reel: Georgia vs Kentucky from Georgia Football on Vimeo.

the Friday Misery is wheels up

A very busy week started with another Jax hangover and just spiraled from there. Suddenly it's Friday morning and I've got to get the car loaded for the Bourbon Trail.

Speaking of wheels up, I do have this though. Watch Tony Milton knock a wildcat on his ass so Greene could hit Edwards deep.

Greene to Edwards for a great 42yd TD catch! Dawgs beat Kentucky in route to an SEC Title! #InTheUGAVault #GoDawgs pic.twitter.com/hoeV8GSr5G

— The UGA Vault (@TheUGAVault) November 3, 2016

(h/t Groo)

I hope you can join us. Shame we have to travel that far north up 75 to get a night game. But it should be a beautiful time up in Kentucky, unless you're an ice cube. Hopefully alls well that ends well on this road trip.

Go Dawgs!

Kentucky, rewatched and revisited

I've had a chance to rewatch the televised version and wanted to share a couple thoughts.

First off, give the coaches and players credit for a total team effort in beating an SEC opponent soundly. I admit, the 10-3 halftime score had me a little worried even though our defense appeared in control of their depleted offense enough to control things. In what had to a monumental week of distractions, everyone focused on the task at hand and gave the fans a very welcome result for four complete quarters.

Speaking of the fans, we were definitely a subdued lot. That came through on the broadcast even more than in person. Still, the turnout was better than I expected. It was a late arriving crowd, but Sanford filled in pretty well.

The highlight was certainly Marshall's touchdown reception. For a coordinator that has struggled mightily with red zone play calling, that screen pass was the perfect selection. The blocking was perfect, especially on the edge where Malcolm Mitchell not only locked on his man long enough to set him up for THE STIFFARM OF THE CENTURY, but he also kept his position enough to force a difficult angle on another Kentucky defender.

From there Marshall took care of the rest. Great speed to turn the corner and powered through towards the pylon with nimble footwork and perfect product placement of the football (all the way down to the Georgia G showing on the endzone replay camera) for the replay officials to correct the call on the field.

The only nit to pick on the defense was some poor tackling at times. That needs to be emphasized and cleaned up the next three games especially.

Special teams. Until pooch kicks are outlawed, we will not rest easy my friend.

Lastly, the reason this post is over 24 hours late is because of this - how in the world did we not have that gamplan for Florida? I can't wrap my head around that level of egregiousness and inept game planning. Faton Bauta has taken a lot of criticism since Jacksonville, some of it carefully and appropriately worded, some of it out of Fran's mouth. However, if we utilize those simple read options with Bauta at quarterback, and allow Godwin and Michel to stretch the field laterally, the 2015 edition of the WLOCP is a different game altogether.

I'm bewildered. And I'd be lying if I didn't admit that took much of the shine off of what was otherwise a great day to be a Dawg.

Friday Misery - I can't drink you away Georgia

It’s been a long week. You’re a hotshot blogger. You’ve got to meet a deadline. Literally six or perhaps even fewer people are depending on you to amp them up with some Kentucky blue flavored misery. And the only thing swirling in your head are the rumors in the air.

“Pruitt took a dump in Coach Richt’s F-150.”

“McGarity is looking for his balls again.”

“Schotty is thinking of voting for Hillary.”

So yeh, you’ve got nothing.

Then...a text from Hank and a few minutes later the wife cues up a YouTube video from the CMAs...boooooom!!

Let’s do this y’all.

“a thousand proof don't change the truth”

I can’t quit you Dawgs. You could tell me that you once saw Richard Tardits paint his toenails pink. Or that you used Mudcat’s car to give Chubb a ride to Knoxville. Or how Robert Edwards drank Gatorade before the 1997 WLOCP. Orange gatorade. Hell, you could spend your last, dying breath telling me how Herschel actually thought the ball was pretty heavy after all.

Don’t matter. I mean, did I falter when a Dooley wore orange britches? Did I even waver when they turned Pollack into a bulimic Finebaum coattail-rider? Nope.

UGA is in my double helixes. Georgia Red courses through my superior vena cava. No amount of bat shit crazy can make me turn my back on you. You're both the symptom and the cure for my insanity. When the sun comes up tomorrow you can find me doing the same. I’ve been all in since before Joe Waterloo introduced me to Mr. Boston and I’ve been singing Glory Glory in Nama’s shadow since Preston Jones was battling Greg Talley for snaps. The proof on the bottle doesn’t fuzzy my vision and the seal is never cracked without your blessing.

I love you Georgia Football. Like a moth to a flame, I will search you out through all the fog, the mist, and the bullshit. We’ll live together through the highs and the lows, we’ll survive together through the AJCs and the THCs. I can be the Laurel to your Hardy, the Moe to your Curly, the Hunker to your Down, the Baba to your O'Riley. I can’t wait until we meet again tomorrow and turn our gaze towards the Southwest corner. I’m looking forward to hearing the crack of the pads against the backdrop of another Saturday afternoon in Athens.

Pass the glass Georgia Football. The week has given me a pounding on my brain, but the next round is on me Dawgs.

BIG TEAM, little pricks

Lemme cut right to the chaser.

Guy in the Kroger fast lane checkout with the florida walmart jersey...you can shut your mouth, please and thank you. I like the way your kid disgracefully shakes his head whenever you open your trap. But yeh, shut up.

And whoa boy, Fran Tarkenton….you can most definitely shut your gotdamn mouth. Faton Bauta has more dignity and school pride in one of his pinkie fingers than you could find in any of your beloved checks. The next time you feel it necessary to borrow a shock jock microphone to steal the spotlight so you can throw MY team under the bus, please come on by the house so I can set your shit straight once and for all.

Yes, and anyone else that would like to self-aggrandize or show off their pretentiousness or publicly self-gratify theirowndamnself, you can shut it too. And if you have any trouble with that directive, I have a house full of women that can slap that shit eating grin off your vainglorious face. You’ll blame your Saturday lackadaisicalness on the rain tomorrow, an irreverent stark contrast to Tanner’s crew that’ll have their mudboots in place before dawn. Then there’s those of you that won’t even realize it’s raining because you never even leave your mother’s basement where you have our coach’s face set up as a dart board that you use as your only means of daily exercise. It’s lazy, and poor, and ill-mannered, and cocky, and very Sakerlina-ish to pile on when the team is down just to hear your own whiny-assed Franny voice. It’s low-rent, cut-off jeans extraneous noise to squeal like a little bitch when the players are preparing to play the next game. You’re just a low-blow, talk show ho if you get anything out of throwing the team under the bus you drove into town while honking the horn with the hazards on.

Get a life Tark. Either come out from behind that microphone and speak up like a man, or go back to Minnesota until your balls freeze off once and for all.

Been saying it all week, but it’s time to play football instead of playing on the internet like children. Tomorrow it’s no more message boreds and twitter and innuendo and speculation and scenarios and rumors and soap operas and low budget drama. It’s time to crack some skulls that aren’t our own. It’s time to see just how down our hunker can get. It’s time to set aside this mess we’ve made and sit at the big boy table.

It’s time to be men about our business. It’s time to tee it up between the hedges. Let us pray...Dear Lord, we’ve feasted on ourselves for weeks. Please help us to put down the fork and raise our voices in unison. Also, please help Schotty spell t-o-u-c-h-d-o-w-n correctly. Amen.

Converting third downs for bowl eligibility

Schottenheimer's offense is coming off a season low in converting third downs after managing just 16% against Florida. Georgia is now next to last in the SEC - 31%. Kentucky is 12th in the conference in opponents' third down conversion rate - 42%.

Something has to give. I mean, right?

We haven't scored a touchdown in nearly six handles of bourbon (that's like my metric system). Most of you that are reading this are here for some commentary on a millionaire's job security. Perhaps find a different blog to read for about a month. 

This is a young team that needs the extra practices. How do you get practices in December? You become bowl eligible. How do you become bowl eligible? You score touchdowns. How do you score touchdowns? You convert third downs. How do you convert third downs? 

Glad you asked.

- You run the damn ball. If the legs of Sony or Douglas or Marshall or our new punter or our old punter get you down the field, don't throw the ball. Run it. RUN IT!! The fans will thank you. The offensive line and the quarterback will thank you. Most importantly, the scoreboard will thank you!

- Speaking of Keith Marshall, he's not his old self. Sure. But you know what, lemme throw this number at you - 5.33. That's his YPC against Florida. That's awesome! Sad part is he only had three carries. He's got fresh legs. Use them.

- Speaking of using them, here's an actual drive chart for one possession (the only possession of the game that saw #4) in the second quarter - Marshall rush for 9 yards, Marshall rush for 5 yards, screen pass to Marshall for 5 yards, Marshall rush for 2 yards...then on third and two, after #4 had gashed them for 14 yards on Theus' hip, Bauta is sacked on a pass play for -3 yards.

- Run the ball. RUN IT!!

- Utilize 26 too. Malcolm Mitchell is better than anybody Kentucky has. Seems like a no brainer, but then again he was better than Florida's defense too. There's not a rule that a receiver can only run routes. Especially when he's your biggest weapon.

Go back and look at the number of passes called on third down, regardless of distance. Schottenheimer's lack of confidence in the running game is staggering.

Every game is gonna be a struggle from here on out. Pruitt's defense will have it's hands full against Georgia Southern and Tech, but should match up well against Kentucky and Auburn. However, they can't be asked to be on the field every couple minutes of game clock. 

And you avoid that by...(say it with me)...converting third downs.

Sunday thoughts on the Commonwealth bounce back

In many ways this game shows you all you need to know about the 2014 Georgia Bulldogs. Flawed, often to a fault, but incredibly talented. And from the outset it was way too much of the latter for Kentucky to expose enough of the former.

- You can't start this without talking about Isaiah McKenzie. The opening kickoff was as much about great blocking as it was McKenzie's speed. But that punt return showed both his elusiveness and his ability to create seams.
- Mason had about as good a day passing the ball as one could expect. Comes at a good time too as we want him entering the showdown with Auburn confident. 13/16 and four touchdowns will do just that.
- And Brice Ramsey carries a nice mop, going for 80 yards on 5/5 passing with a touchdown.
- Even as the fans were calling for Gurley's return in the stands, anxious for the running back's return, it was impossible to not appreciate what Nick Chubb has done during the four game suspension.
- I ask you, what's more impressive, his five touchdowns, the 671 yards or the 102 carries? There's probably no correct answer. But that was fun to type out.
- Which begs the question, does Gurley start Saturday?
- Defensively, the intensity was there and that led to much better tackling. Probably most impressive was that they held Towles to 139 yards through the air. And a lot of that was coverage.
- If there's something that Pruitt is pointing to its Kentucky's 81 plays from scrimmage. That can't happen next week.

About to hit the road for home, so that'll do for now. Nice road win to wrap up a brutal span of time away from Sanford. It'll be good to be home. Real good.

Go Dawgs!

Just met a UK lineman

Two keys to a win over the Wildcats

Cold, cold day here in Lexington. But the Dawgs need to come out hot.

1. Run the ball. A lot.

2. Get back to winning the line of scrimmage. 

David Andrews' ankle deserves its own key. He's crucial to both 1 and 2. Defensively, we just need to be Georgia and show them why they're Kentucky, eternally a basketball school. 

"Because I don't want to get soft."

Tomorrow is the Wildcats' Senior Day.

"Because I don't want to get soft," said the 6-foot-4, 264-pound defensive end to whom that word does not typically apply. "But it's going to be real emotional, and my parents are going to be here. It'll be an emotional game for the coaches, too, because this will be our last time playing with them in Commonwealth. And the fans, all our fans, this will be our last time seeing them in Commonwealth.

Yeh, I can totally see this not helping us. That's the misery in me right now. Suddenly really, really glad this is not a night game. Especially when you factor in the fact that they'll not only be playing for their mommas, but also this:

A victory over 17th-ranked Georgia would extend Dupree's college career by one very significant game. The Wildcats (5-4, 2-4) have to win one of their last three regular-season games to qualify for their first bowl game since 2010. Dupree, the Southeastern Conference's active leader in career sacks, has never experienced the postseason.

I've said before, this ain't your daddy's Kentucky tackle football team. Mark Stoops has a more talented bunch than we're used to seeing. But they're not as deep as they need to be yet. Georgia's job is to expose that.

Friday Misery - "Theodore Donald Karabatsos...Good night sweet prince."

Jacksonville is dead. Sure as shit y'all. Now, it may come back to life in some alternate time frame, or universe, or even a college football season. Maybe. But right here, right now, in this particular moment, it's dead. Its ashes are blowing in the wind. The prayer/eulogy/drunken mumbling has ended.

In other words, the WLOCP (version 2.014) would like you to move on dipshit. And below you will find your complete guide. It takes you from the lowest of lows to some semblance of peace and order. It may be wrought with words and context and links considered grossly unsafe for work environments, but it'll get you outta the gutter Dude.

And then we crashed.
Humming along to the Creedance in our tape deck, notice something suspicious on the periphery and then BOOOOOOOOOOOM!

What the hell just happened? I mean, things were rolling along smoothly without much worries to the contrary. Maybe we weren't quite footloose, but we were fancying our groove man. Out of nowhere, blindsided by what should have been a mere deterrence, a casual glance, a simple safety check on your six. Then quickly, without cause or reason, escalates into a chaotic, reckless, fretful dumpster diving mission.

Say what you want about the tenets of epic road trip swings, but they appeared to be an ethos, a means by which the nation had bound together and stood ready to take on all remaining formidable foes. 

(Voice within my head..."Don't be fatuous Bernie.")

Now, here we are with a burnt hole in our chinos, spilled beer all over the front seat, floorboard, as well as some dive bar on St. Simons Island, and listening to "Heartbreak Tonight" on endless repeat. Ugh. Eff. Me.

Our brain is rattled, perhaps from the self-medicating, or maybe we brushed too hard against DuBose's ego. There's no way out and everything we reach for is somehow beyond our grasp. Trapped. Alone. Confused. Surrounded by a bunch of goddamn nihilists and we're pretty sure Donny is dead and Brandt sure as shit ain't walking through that door. Richt is saying one thing. Ramik is saying another. And all Marshall wants is some fucking lasers. Jeezus!

No way this jalopy can make it to Lexington. No damn way dude. Can you not read the internet boreds? Have you not heard the twitters? Whatever or whoever set this whole shitastic sequence in motion is much bigger than some Malibu Chief of Police. It goes beyond a head coach losing control of something and everything. It's even bigger that the darkest, mostest evil and mostest vile dealings of a double secret agent, codenamed "Will".

Ironic isn't it? Will. Because we have none man. No. Just sit here. Let's accept our fate and be done with it. If we live to see Christmas we'll all go bowling man. Then we'll swing by the offseason and invest in a new rug.

^^^^^^ Once had beers with Erk Russell and John Wayne ^^^^^^

Strikes and gutters.
/cues "Dead Flowers"
/orders a cold one
/prepares to reflect

"Howdoyado Dude?"

There's always something peaceful, serene, and so goddamn chill about The Stranger. He exudes quiet, introspective, all-encompassing confidence. He never forces himself on you, just sits there waiting for you to notice that you need his voice, his guidance, and his wisdom. He waits for you to be drawn in by his moustache, and once you finally tear your eyes away from it and engage him he's not going to belabor the point that Donny is dead and run the risk of reducing you to a weepy, ball of raw emotions on the floor of a bowling alley bar.

In fact, he doesn't say much of anything, yet he communicates everything. "Life ain't over Dude. Glad to see you doing well." Yup, he's glad to see that you're abiding and shit, takin' er easy for all them sinners. Yeh...and again...of course, he was sad to see Donny go. But he's already looking forward to catching you later on down the trail.

And friend, that trail leads us to Commonwealth Stadium tomorrow. Better or worse, healthy or wounded, ready or with your stupid drunk jock strap down there around your ankles. Dumbass. So go tell Cynthia to take care of her own goddamn pomeranian and Bunny to blow on her own goddamn toenails. Dude, it's time again to play football. Football.

Football. RIP Donny. RIP Jax. RIP my second liver. RIP GODDAMN GUTTERBALLS!! Let us pray...Lord Baby Jesus, please help me set the edge and Pruitt's dudes to conquer the Bourbon Trail. Or vice versa. Cuz that'd be cool too man. Amen.

Wildcats' O-line looking for confidence

Coach Stoops' was not happy in the days following Kentucky's loss to Missouri last weekend. And his tirade still resonates as the Wildcats prepare for Georgia.

"We just need to grow up and play big-man football instead of just, like, little-boy football," Mosier said, paraphrasing his coach's speech. "His message was grow up and start playing disciplined."

That goes for everyone after an all-systems failure in the Wildcats' third consecutive loss, but especially for an offensive line that has hit a rough patch in conference play. Kentucky (5-4, 2-4 SEC) has allowed 25 tackles for loss and 12 sacks in these last three defeats.

The Cats now rank 108th nationally in sacks allowed and 112th in tackles for loss allowed this season.

Whoa. I mean, whoa. Saturday alone, against Missouri, the Wildcats gave up three sacks (-24 yards) and nine tackles for loss (-38 yards). And it's not just problems after the ball is snapped either.

But at right tackle, despite also generally playing pretty well, Jordan Swindle continued his baffling trend of false-start penalties. He now has eight in nine games.

"It's a frustrating deal for him," line coach John Schlarman said. "There's a fine line. You say too much and then it's in the forefront of his mind and it takes away from other aspects of his game. You say too little and then all the sudden it happens and everybody freaks out. So it's just something we have to get him over.

"I know that Jordan Swindle's going to get that fixed, and it needs to be this week."

No pressure kid. All in all this is shaping up to be one big key to the game, especially after Georgia's defensive front played so poorly in long stretches against Florida. Something will have to give. And I'm all for Kentucky's O-line gaining its confidence...next weekend when they go to Knoxville.

Kentucky will start a freshman running back

Looks like the Wildcats are turning to Stanley "Boom" Williams at running back.

The new Kentucky Wildcats depth chart is out with a huge matchup vs. the Georgia Bulldogs coming in Week 11.

True freshman running back Stanley “Boom” Williams is the No. 1 RB on the newest depth chart. True freshman Garrett Johnson is also now one of the four No. 1 receivers.

Stanley has earned his nickname back in Lexington. (VIA)

Now, I don't how true this depth chart remains throughout the week preparations. When I first saw this yesterday I figured that JoJo Kemp kid we'd heard so much about after their game with South Carolina was injured. Kemp had a field day in the fourth quarter against the Gamecocks, albeit mostly from the Wildcat formation. But I can't find any injury news on Kemp, who despite still leading the team in rushing has seen his carries dwindle to next to nothing the last few games.

Perhaps they're sending a message to the older running backs on the roster. More likely, this kid Williams has earned this chance. He's a four star talent out of George Walton Academy over in Monroe that Kentucky offensive coordinator never really considered redshirting.

A four-star recruit according to the 247Sports Composite, Stanley "Boom" Williams quickly silenced any talk of a possible redshirt season during his first preseason camp at Kentucky, though offensive coordinator Neal Brown declined to call him "Boom" until he earned the name on the field. In his second collegiate game, Williams scored on a 53-yard touchdown run. He briefly gave Kentucky the lead in overtime vs. Florida with a highlight-reel 25-yard touchdown catch-and-run in which he cut back across the entire width of the field. After the game, Brown finally acknowledged Williams had earned his "Boom" nickname.

So at least as of this morning, sounds like we might see a motivated young running back going up against a defense eager to prove the Florida game was a fluke.

Sunday's thoughts on mourning a win

Because seriously, College Football won't give us anything this season without taking a knee ligament as a sacrifice. It's absurd the ways in which she torments us, even as we celebrate as complete a win, and compete a football game as we've seen in quite some time.

Damn you College Football. Damn. You.

- Just sick to my stomach all over again for Murray this morning. You mean to tell me his last pass in Sanford, and probably as a Georgia Bulldog altogether was a tipped pass interception? That sucks. Makes me violently depressed.

- I just keep seeing him go down, force himself back into the huddle, angrily unsnap his helmet on the sideline, force himself back onto the field and then being carried off. He was supposed to enjoy a second half celebration as Mason guided things the rest of the way. He was supposed to direct the band again and make his victory round post game. Damn. Just damn.

- Moving on, this was a complete effort. It was a beat down. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Todd Gurley is a grown ass man. Able to fly when needed. And Lord help the poor defensive back that stands between him and his goal when he gets a full head of steam, unabated through the line of scrimmage.

- Mason looked really good in relief. Plays with the confidence you'd expect (and want) from an experienced back up. Couple of throws looked like he waited a bit too long for them to develop. But the line gave him plenty of time to work through his progressions.
- Defensively, I think you start with turnover margin. For just the third time this season we won the turnover battle, gaining three fumbles helped that effort significantly. The defense played with speed and intensity. Causing fumbles (even when Kentucky seemed content to help matters) is a sign that there was no let down after Auburn.
- Kentucky only managed 10 total first downs, was three of 12 on third down efficiency and gained just 211 yards. You take away Dyshawn Mobley 69 yard jaunt and this was a total dominating effort.
- That said, the missed assignment on the Wildcats' touchdown run is a glaring example of what makes preparing for Georgia Tech on one week such a daunting task. They live off plays like that where they wear you down and get one missed tackle or a safety out of position, boom.
- Sorry for getting off track there. This post is designed for celebrating this win. And we should. The seniors had a great game: Lynch with two touchdown catches and even Murray was on his way to another record setting performance before he had to leave.
- And Garrison Smith...wow. Two sacks, two forced fumbles, seven total tackles. This from a guy who usually saves his best game for the season finale against Tech, this is a very good sign.

And now we move on to Tech! It was a great Senior Night overall. Crowd was good. Students lead the way again too. It was a good way to close down Sanford until next April's GDay. GO Dawgs!

Gameday Kentucky

It's bad when you get taunted by your youngest for not giving enough attention to Kentucky, or as she says...KenSucky.

So anyway, here goes.

The first thing we have to do is stay aggressive on defense. Empirical evidence suggests this young defense plays better loose. Let em run. Take the leash off. The wildcats are not expecting it, so who knows. Shaq may house another pick.

Give Gurley the ball and then watch Murray pull Stoops pants down. Over and over and over and over again.

Snap. Set. Kick. Easy peasy.

Lastly, kick the ball as deep as Morganly possible on kickoffs.

That is all there is. Just remember, be in your seat by 6:30 at the latest or everything that preceded this sentence is for naught.

Go Dawgs! #KenSucky

Wildcats only 80 proof

I thought Forrester put it best when he said this -

Dear Kentucky -- your bourbon is better than your basketball team. Celebratory@MakersMark drink!! #UGA #UK#dawgsontop

GATA! Thanks to all who showed up and sent the "sea of blue" streaming out into the Athens night earlier than they anticipated. Now, hopefully Bama's five buckets short!

Go Dawgs!