Friday Misery - scheduling Spurrier's menstrual cycle

Quick calendar check to start things off today....whoa, still 486 days weeks years until football starts. Hope my liver survives that long. (pours another drink...opens iPad's internet webbing app...sees coaches are menstruating over schedules...again...)

Ok, so the SEC has teams that can play tackle football even better than Reese Witherspoon can operate a Ford Focus' door handle with a blood-alcohol content of roughly six white wine spritzers. But some of these same teams have coaches whose panties get wadded up at the mere mention of having to play anyone other than Tennessee or Auburn. I'm certainly no Slive apologist, but that guy gets blamed for pissing in kool-aid more often than the Pope wears a funny hat.

Uh oh. Stevie...can I get a Kotex from ya hon?

On the one hand, I understand. No one really and truly wants to line up against Alabama. Sure, I can talk a big game about it and the Georgia BY GOD! Bulldogs can back that shit up for fifty nine minutes and fifty five seconds. But given the choice, most would rather their teams play in Starkville or Lexington. They’d even prefer to get bent over a raging pot of jambalaya by a swamp festered troglodyte in the Red Stick over sixty minutes of Saban’s tiny little feet prancing around on the opposing sideline.

Also, it’s become common knowledge that if you win the SEC your reward is likely a consolation game in a very warm clime.

“Gimme the easy road Commish!”

“Let a computer figure it out Slive!”

“Georgia gets to play Ole Miss and we have to try and beat LSU. Waaaahhh!”

“Oh crap, I think I’m bloated again.”

On the other hand, you know who doesn’t need a tampon and a bitch session to look over his team’s schedule? Mark Richt. Granted, he learned long ago not to complain about where and when games are played; he seems much more content in Jacksonville these days. But he takes what he’s given and goes on about his business of being more of a coach and less of a Franklin Covey sales associate.

“God bless y’all! Someone tweet some glory to God.”

“Can’t wait to sloppy kiss Kathryn in Jax again!! Go Dawgs!”

“Sure hope we can keep Georgia Tech on the schedule. Oops. Think I just butt dialed a recruit. Gosh darnit! Sorry ‘bout that Commish.”

Look. I’d love to be able to play as many SEC teams as possible. Only getting to Oxford once in a blue moon would really make this Dawg grumpy. Not being able to see Gurley stiff arm an Aggie to the dirt during his career would really suck. And yes, not getting a chance to visit the Tuscaloosa Updykes every so often would be a shame as well.

But I’m not going to get all crampy over it. This is football ladies. If your string is showing, you need to put the calendar down. Because you’re making me wish the Mayans were right.

Jarvis and Tree go in round one

For the first time since 2005 Georgia had a defensive player taken in the first round of the NFL draft. The Steelers selected Jones at 17 and Alec Ogletree was taken by the Rams at 30.

For Tree the message is simple: off the field problems made a number of teams back off of giving him first round money. Understandable. As I said earlier, the key for Alec will be to earn that second contract both on the field (which we know he can do) as well as off of it.

For Jarvis it's a little more perplexing. This year's draft is not stocked with tons of playmakers - guys that can make a difference when the game is in the line. Continually we heard this week that teams should be looking at his tape more than worrying about his Pro Day. But pick after pick last night, teams passed him up.

The good news is that Jones is going somewhere known for having great defenses. He should fit right into what Pittsburgh does defensively, more so than the edge rushers taken before him.

No onto rounds two and three tonight.

Sheldon Dawson - switching gears

The sophomore from Memphis is poised to be the field corner opposite Damian Swann this fall. Before injuring his hamstring he had Georgia quarterbacks scratching their head this spring.

via

Although he didn’t play much as a freshman last fall, Dawson certainly has the ability to do it. The multi-position athlete received mixed reviews from the various recruiting services, but was actually listed as the top overall prospect in Tennessee by two of them. That athleticism showed up some last season with Dawson contributing mostly on special teams, but now that he has had time to learn his role in Georgia’s defensive scheme, his playing time should expand significantly on scrimmage downs. 

As Dawson reminds us, he hasn’t locked down a starting job by any means, but a strong spring and impressive speed and coverage skills make him a player worth watching in Georgia’s secondary. 

I see a lot of similarities in Swann, who stepped in last season to fill some big shoes in the secondary, and Dawson who will try to do the same this season. Their similar in terms of size; both have the height that our defensive backs lacked for so many years under Martinez. And they both can make big plays. Of course, a lot of big plays in the secondary start with pressure up front. Hopefully our new front seven can create some opportunities for Dawson that Swann saw last season.

Some Thursday forecasting

Looking back at some recent headlines and ahead for what may come...

Ken O'Brien is an asterisk for being drafted
ahead of Marino. But he was 8-7 lifetime
against the Hall of Famer.

• I think Schlabach had it right when he said it doesn't really matter what they call the four team playoff in 2014. The real question is which city we'll be in when the SEC begins dominating this new format just like the old. Smart money says Arlington Texas on January 12th, 2015.
• floriDuh coaches pasting pics on the internets has been fantastic. I bet Les Miles is chomping at the fescue to get in on the act. Perhaps LSUFreek could give him some artistic pointers.
• So Coach Richt and all his predecessors' have combined for ZERO wins against North Texas and App State. Yet by August 31st we'll be a LOT more concerned about a Clempson Tiger program we've owned 41 times out of 62 meetings.
• What's something you won't get from the top online betting reviews? A contrite Gene Chizik. He's "not one to dwell on the past and look at all the 'what-ifs' and things of that nature" but I'm sure he's reflecting quite nicely in his pool of buyout cash.
• Lastly, tonight begins the NFL draft. I watched the 30 for 30 special "Elway to Marino" the other night. It encapsulates everything I find intriguing about the draft: big time players behind the scenes making decisions about big time players on the field. After the 2013 installment ends this weekend Georgia coaches will be able to point to several more players that made their dreams come true by way of Athens GA.

Go Dawgs!

Perno's Diamond Dawgs celebrate Nat'l Spank an EngiNerd Day

Sorry about yesterday. But glad a fire has been lit. Holy crap!

17- zip!! 

Eat fresh quarterbacks

SUBWAY announced that top NFL draft pick Jarvis Jones, is their newest Famous Fan. To initiate him to the family, the brand unveiled a life-size food statue of Jarvis made of Smokehouse BBQ Chicken. The 35lb bust made its way through NYC as Jarvis gears up for Thursday’s draft. Jarvis joins RGIII and Justin Tuck who are also part of the SUBWAY family.

I think this is the same pose he used before meeting up with John Brantley.

I'm not big on the sandwich chain, but it's pretty cool that Jarvis will now be on their commercials getting the same exposure that RGIII got last year. Hopefully this means they'll start adding more meat to their sandwiches.

Good on ya Jarvis.

Humpday Hilarity - Male Survival Tips

This could come in handy gentlemen. Personally, I was not aware there were options other than "Here, have some wine."

H/T Dad

Perno's diamond gets rougher

I think Tyler hit on the key point in the sudden dismissal of Diamond Dawg JT Phillips over the weekend. This has to have been the second or third (or more) time the kid had run afoul of Perno's guidance, right? This wasn't a reactionary kick to the curb as the result of a dismal season. Surely.

But we can't be sure. Perno was just cryptic enough in his comments to keep us guessing (around the five and a quarter mark).

My guess would be that Perno is making an example of the kid here and trying to get the attention of the team. I'm not saying there wasn't cause for the consequence Phillips received. There must've been, and the charges the kid is faced with are serious. But just listening to that interview and especially this quote - It’s probably why we’ve sputtered as much as we have because we’ve probably had some guys that haven’t been with us. - says it all: Perno has lost the team and is trying to get them back. Like most any sport, if you lose the attention and the effort of just a fraction of the roster it is enough to send the record into a tailspin.

The result with Vandy, one of the country's best teams, was mixed. So it's hard to read too much into the effect this news had in the dugout. The Diamond Dawgs took one of three but probably could've at least threatened to win the series. In short, the series started out great, but Saturday evening and Sunday were horrific.

With a 4-14 record we are in the cellar and hoping to avoid being mathematically eliminated from the conference tourney in April. Hopefully Perno's message sparks a run with four remaining series to go: Arkansas, Tennessee, South Carolina and Florida. 

One thing's for certain, it won't be easy. But then again, nothing has this season.

McGarity shares some perspective

If you're like most Georgia fans, you're watching AD Greg McGarity a little closer these days. The basketball team is coming off a disappointing season and lost their star player to the NBA. And the baseball team is mired in a season long slump that follows a disappointing 2012 campaign. Even for those who only concern themselves with football, decisions being made right now regarding these two programs could tell us a lot about our athletic director.

And these two links give us a glimpse into that and more. First, Emerson provides the state of the basketball program heading into Fox's fifth season. There's a distinct parallel to the manner in which McGarity is handling it here as compared to after the 2010 football season with Richt. In a word, improvement.

Improvement. During the course of five minutes Monday, McGarity used that word seven times, and he used “improve” twice more.

“It’s like any other program: You look for continuous improvement. We do not, with any coach, set any type of minimum wins, things of that nature. Coaches have enough pressure on them anyway,” McGarity said. “And, even if you ask the coaches, they would probably say the same thing as far as continued improvement. That’s the challenges that lie ahead with every sport. How do we improve every year, how do we get better.”

And for an even deeper look into the thought processes for all things UGA Athletics, here's Anthony Dasher's Q&A with McGarity prompted in part by reader questions. It covers basketball and baseball pretty thoroughly as well as other off season topics surrounding an indoor practice facility, recruiting, funding and student seating at Sanford.

"Facilities are not holding us back from anything. I can promise you that. I just came back from UCLA and I've seen their facilities. I've seen Stanford's facilities. Trust me, they're not winning national championships strictly because of their facilities. Facilities have to be nice and functional. I've seen a lot of facilities at tremendous campuses and in some cases you're asking yourself how are they getting it done because their facilities are not as nice as school A or B. It all gets down to people, it all gets down to relationships of people, coaches and it all gets down to having a great institution that's got a great academic reputation which ours does. Facilities are important, but no way are they the end all."

Personally, I think McGarity hits the nail on the head as far as facilities. Too often people just want more fancy things to look at when the purpose they would serve is minimal. As for people, I'm hoping we see the improvement our AD alludes to as his barometer in determining coaching success/failure. It's a safe way for him to deal with turmoil in those two men's programs today. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Jay Jacobs and the glazed doughnut

This reminded me of a conversation I once had with my mother:

Mom - "Did you eat the last doughnut?"

Me - "Nope."

Mom - "Think hard and answer carefully...did you eat the last doughnut?"

Me - (putting finger covered in doughnut glaze against temple) "hmmm....nope!"

I was three at the time. And even then I knew better.