Bernie Went to the Beach...

...and left the intern the passwords and keys.

If you've come by BDB for your weekly Friday dose of fun, Darren's in charge.

Well it all sounds pretty glamorous, but it's just business as usual here at BDB Industries.

The only instructions left were to clean up the microwave and post this video, Bernie's all time (non-Dawg highlight) favorite YouTube clip.

Enjoy. See ya Monday.

Mockery..?? Really, He Went There??

Dave Braine's lovechild had his wittle feelings hurt after a spade was called a spade by a congressman from Tennessee. Now, try to set aside your shock that we still allow the state of Tennessee representation in our federal gov't...and let's get to the task at hand.

Thad-Yo, aka Thaddeus Young, averaged over 14 points and nearly 5 boards for Paul Hewitt during the 06-07 season. In June of 07 he was drafted 12th by the 76ers. During his brief yet productive stay on North Avenue, Young was a management major.

Seems to me (at least thus far) Thad-YO!! has managed his life rather well. Enter Rep. Steve Cohen (D- Tenn), who says:

"(Young) could have gone straight to the

pros. I don't think he's going to be an engineer. It's just kind of a mockery."

After unwadding his panties, Coach (and I use the term loosely) Hewitt retorted:

"Saying a young man choosing to go to school at Georgia Tech, whether it's one year or four years, is a mockery, I just didn't think that was an accurate statement and I thought it was somewhat damaging."

Ok, damaging...I'll give him that. Although the statement in and of itself is much less damaging to the program than the contract Braine bestowed upon the "coach". But a mockery is what it is.

Personally, I see this as more of an NBA vs NCAA issue than a Hewitt v Cohen. That crappy excuse for a professional sports organization is devaluing college basketball by allowing stud athletes to use college programs as a farm system. On the other hand, maybe it's a good thing Lebron didn't go to college.

At any rate, get over it Hewitt...don't you have bigger worries? Like how to get the most mileage out of Derrick Favors...for just one season??

Monday's Margarita - Wastin' Away at the Edge of Seventeen

That's right...time for a vacay. And the meatloaf won't keep in the car all the way to the coast.

And this time we're taking the SEC commish. I mean, who could use a little R&R more that Mr. Slive? Blogging in the off season is not for the feint of heart. But running the SEC machine takes an astute mind, a phat checkbook and a large bottle of Alleve.

It's become quite apparent that for the HillBillys new head coach, reading and deciphering the NCAA rule book is as arduous a task as singing along with Stevie Nicks to a Fleetwood Mac song...word for word. Even if you have a set of lyrics in front of you....What was that she said? Just like a one winged glove....Huh?

H/T The Sporting Blog/LSU Freek

Sorry Laney...YA CAN'T DO THAT!!

Seriously, he either actually thought he could entertain recruits in his office while ESPNs cameras rolled or he thinks for each secondary violation he gets another year on his contract. And I bet a box of mason jars he blames the whole thing on Wendi Nix.

And all you overall'd toothless warriors - the our coach is gettin' us all kinds of attention routine is as old as the swimming schollies Bear Bryant used to give to 280 lb linemen. Cheatin' is cheatin'.

Sings a song sounds like she's swimming...what?

Simple recipe: mix then chill.

• Senator's update on the status of the Kiffin watch.
• After they both batted over .300 and launched 44 balls beyond the playing field, Diamond Dawgs Poythress and Massanari were named to the All Ping! baseball team.
• PWD found Rep. Corrine Brown after a grammar class, but still up to her old hi jinx.
• Are CMR and I growing apart? First the difference of opinion on the WLOCP and now he wants more cupcakes.
• T. Boone Pickens is a BIG money OSU homer, but he likes the Sooners better. Must've gotten hit in the head by one of his windmills...
• And Mike Gundy might be a man, but he's currently working pro bono.
• Speaking of being a man...if you're a Man vs. Wild fan, you undoubtedly tuned in last week to see Bear nearly meet his match in Will Ferrell. Entertainment Weekly has a top five moments from the show, including a clip. Unfortunately they left out the yellow snow synopsis.

Lastly, for all you Roger Federer is the best ever! people...gimme a break. That Spanish turd who tried to put the beret on Roger's gorgeous locks (Jenn's words) would've received a patented Sampras forehand long before that Rennie Curran wannabe security guard tackled him. R-Fed...he cowered and waited for an incompetent french security crew (talk about an oxymoron) to succumb the scum.

Game. Set. Match! Enjoy your new GrandSlamwich Roger. You lucked out, but to your credit...you took advantage of the situation when the stars aligned for you. Oui'Oui'!!

Stay tuned for the next episode of Man vs. Wild when Bear Grylls hosts John McEnroe, Stevie Nicks and KiffyBaby while surviving the recruiting environs of Pahokee, FL. Ms. Nicks translates the NCAA rule book for all while Mac calls the mayor blind...in so many words.

You'll know you've got the right channel when your hear Ol' Kifster say, "Reading is for losers and gas station attendants. I win! Let's all go to my daddy's house on ol' RockyFlop!!"

That and Bear eats the inner workings of the high school's fax machine. Awesome!

Salt or no salt Reader...have a great week!

Bernie

Greene Can Always Come Home

Reading over Hale's Catching Up with David Greene earlier this week got me thinking about a day...way back in...2004...'tween the hedges...

Some thoughts:

• not enough shots of Darth Saban
• Uncle Verne...is that you singing?
• I've got a picture of that second Greene to Brown TD autographed by each to my daughters
• Raiders obviously took pity on Jamarcus after watching film on this game...otherwise I can't explain him being drafted to another team that can't protect the passer
• Saban coaches DBs...??
• not enough shots of Saban
• Thomas Brown can obviously squat two LSU LBs if needed
• David Greene = DamnGoodDawg
• Saturday...October 3rd....2009....here comes the Hat

Have a Pollack-sized Saturday Reader. And if you play the lottery...45 and 16 sound like good numbers today.

Just sayin'.

When in Doubt...Eat a Doughnut

Doubt can be a bond as powerful and sustaining as certainty.

It's a line early in the movie Doubt. Seymour Hoffman and Streep lead a terrific cast; a lot of cinematography and dialogue instead of action, adventure. But overall, a great movie. 

And like all great movies, it got me thinking about college football. More specifically, the Dawgs.

A year ago, we were certain of our talent. The grandest dreams not only had CMRs crew in contention for titles, but had Stafford and Knowshon pitted against each other for the Heisman. 

Right up until a night in late September, certainty was nice and comfy.

This off season there is much that is uncertain. Sure, it helped allay some fears during the spring when Houston showed a tenacity for backfield disruption. But he's not following us to Stillwater.

And as nice as it will be to see a 5th year senior trot out 'tween the hedges as the QB, his claim to red and black fame came against a Colorado defense three years ago (h/t Mackie). And don't get me started on RBs who can't pick up a blitz...

Certainty can breed complacency. Perhaps a little doubt will create some hunger...some fire in the belly. 

Friday Feedbag

• We're gonna need to tidy up around here...Exhile's comin' home.
• Branden Smith committed to CMR before Nat'l Signing Day and didn't back down from that commitment. True to form, recently he refused to back down from the Great  Hale's questions.
• Just as decisive as his dad was in the pocket, Nick Montana is near a decision on his college choice. Jensen has the latest on his recruitment.
• Over at Bulldog Illustrated, Jeff Dantzler has comprised an All Donnan-Richt team and Vance has some good news for golfers who enjoy the scenery that Robert Trent Jones bestowed upon us..
• Dawgs play ball...but also crack the books.
• Get your remotes retuned before the SEC season gets into full swing. Finding the best college football games is gonna take a savvy surfer this fall.
• Mack of Blogging Pantsless fame is providing an opportunity for you to meet a really rich guy tomorrow.
• And in the best for last category, the Chicago White Sox didn't take long to realize that Gordon Beckham is show-worthy.

Without a doubt and with every certainty, Stillwater is only 92 days away now. So close, you can almost start to smell T. Boone Pickens' pit sweat.

Speaking of counting these Dawg Days of Summer down, be sure to click on over to Bubba 'N Earl's neck of the internets. They've got a countdown going that is sure to bring a smile to your face....daily. 

And before you go, be sure to grab your free doughnut - after all, it is National Doughnut Day. We'll celebrate anything in the name of carbs and sugary sweetness.

Much to Homer's delight.

Bernie

Backfield Battles

Stumbled across this article from enemy territory (h/t bhenry). For Okie State fans, I say let them worry about Jeff Owens...I don't blame them.

But for Dawg fans it begs the question: which position battle are you most worried about, RB or QB? Naturally, when two stars like Stafford and Moreno take all of their TDs and yards to the NFL, it's gonna draw questions all around.

But, for my bottle of antacids...I'm much more concerned about replacing Moreno. Cox is a fifth year senior and has taken the keys from Stafford with a calming influence. His leadership has been evident since September 23, 2006....

CMR has been effusive in his praise of his senior signal caller. And I would expect to see some sets installed primarily for Gray's athletic ability as soon as Stillwater.

I say let the green rub off the freshmen's horns from the sideline this fall. They can carry a clipboard, sport the crew cut....let their canine teeth grow in some more.

But replacing Knowshon is gonna be much more problematic. While Cox won't have a wealth of game experience to draw from on September 5th, he'll certainly have much more overall relative to whoever is in formation behind him.

Logic says a committee approach is in order....but most fans (and coaches) would like to have one feature back; a set of legs to depend on down the stretch and in a pinch.

Feel free to weigh in. Talk...er...type is cheap. But it's all we got right now.

Mack Brown's Phone...

...will be getting quite the workout the next several months. 

The highly recruited RB out of Martin Luther King HS in Lithonia is shaping up to be the Dawgs' top target at the position for the upcoming class. Yesterday, Marcus Lattimore of Duncan, SC trimmed Athens from his list of destinations.

That should bring Brown to the forefront of the Dawgs' recruiting. It appears the gators are the favorite for the Under Armour All-American. 

Here's a summary of Brown and here's TotalUGAs latest story.

Monday's Meatloaf - Weaselin' on a Half Tank of Gas

Well, it's not a convertible and it hasn't been driven by Angelina Jolie's dad...but BDB has a new company car.

Seinfeld - Jon Voight's '89 LeBaron

You know it's time to trade in the old truck when part of its appraisal hinges on how much gas is in the tank. Luckily I had just put a half tank in the previous day, which allowed me to weasel with the weasels a little more.

And while I waited on them to agree on exactly how much under wholesale they were going to give me the car for, I wondered why Arkansas always hires its football coaches off of the used car lots. Think about it: Lou Holtz...Bobby Petrino...Houston Nutt...all had to be great car salesmen. They all have the right mixture of sleaziness and talkability.

I'm thinking Danny Ford's more like a tractor dealer. Bein' a hayseed and all....

Oven's almost preheated. So mix these up and let em get to know each other a while.

• Lots of action from the diamond this weekend. We'll start with the guys, who owned Ohio State Friday, but then fell to host team FSU Saturday to get thrown into the losers' bracket. That is where Ohio State exacted some measure of revenge Sunday, giving the Dawgs a flat tire on the Road to Omaha.
• Meanwhile the women were within a handful of runs of punching their ticket to the Women's CWS finals against the gators. The dream ended too soon...
• Luckily, both Coach Perno and Coach Lu have young teams that earned some valuable experience. Let's hope that carries into Spring '10.
• The Track and Field team found Greensboro quite accommodating during the NCAA Regional Championships.
• Wanna know which UGA mens coach has the greater metabolism, Richt or Fox? Hale is on it.
• Jon Knox is transferring to GMC for academic reasons. Good thing Bryan Evans has locked down that safety position.
• Who better to explain what an NCAA kicker goes through as he approaches the ball than Rex?
• I have a mental picture of this year's Phil Steele with post-it notes sticking out of it at all angles and a bottomless coffee mug on the Senator's desk...
• Big shout-out to Bernie's mom as she is now hours away from retirement. Papa Bernie says he'll give it another year. I guess then the real fun will begin. So enjoy it while it lasts mom!

To wrap things up, I feel the need to apologize to all those commuters who grew frustrated with me driving 50 in the right hand lane these last few months. It was out of necessity, but you won't be bothered again. 

Despite being forced to change lanes and go around me, you always took the time to shoot me some props. And I appreciate that about as much as those timeouts Slurban took back in early November. Perhaps one day soon I'll be afforded the opportunity to return the finger...er...favor.

It's a Monday Reader. Let's make the most of it!

Bernie

Saturday DawgNews

Turns out, Ohio State brought a bag of softballs to Tallahassee. 

The Diamond Dawgs exploded for season highs in runs, hit and total bases on their way to 24-8 weather-delayed butt whoopin'. They'll take on the host Seminoles today at 4pm (tv ESPNU, radio 960theRef).

• UGAs Track and Field is heading into the weekend tied with Tech in the NCAA East Regional up in Greensboro. Note to readers: always stand behind junior Chris Hill when he's throwing the javelin.
• Mark Bradley has us losing four games this fall...one of which is to NATS. We're meeting at 9pm to go roll his house. Bring at least two rolls of TP and a healthy dose of angst.
• Damon Evans is bringing home a BIG wad of cash from Destin.
• Lastly, you may have heard that Erin Andrews wants to wear skimpy outfits and dance around on a reality tv show. Over at Blogging Pantsless, Mackie has you set up with a useful list.

If you have a spare couple a hours and just love being outside in the yard...my lawn could use some attention. Preeesheeate it!

From Destin With Love...

SEC coaches were destin'd to make some headlines...

Master planner, Laney "Cookies" Kiffin showed up at the league meetings with bells on. Turns out making an ass of himself and a mockery of the program with the guts...er...idiocy to hire him was all part of a grand scheme. 

I won't rehash the quotables for you, but it basically boiled down to: I make plan. Make Daddy happy.

So when the voWels are floundering in SEC East obscurity, our dear hillbillys can thank Al Davis for setting this scheme in motion. In related news, KiffyBaby also asked media members if they would like to buy some beachfront condos with indoor plumbing in Knox County.

What an oxymoron. The good news in all this is that Corch Meyer is as ornery as toddler slinging peas. Not in the cute YouTube way either. More like the I just cleaned the floor and this brat is painting it green kind of way.

If you're a parent...you get that.

Friday Feedbag

• Long overdue, but congrats to Nama for finishing last weekend's SCAN Foundation's 5K Run/Walk. If Bernie hadn't used a well hidden Segway half-way through, Nama would have easily walked away with (another) free-t-shirt. 
• So what's worse that losing you're cheatin' coach to college roundball's most storied program?...being that storied program.
• Diddy...sit on these hot coals for a little while longer.
• It took nearly two centuries, but Georgia Sports Blog found a way to celebrate gamechicken athletics.
• Weiszer discovered that CMR feels a little "weird" at the head of table this week. Spurrier reportedly tried to sit in Richt's chair, but SEC bylaws reserve it for a coach who actually has a QB on roster. 
• Lots of great stuff from Hale this week as he clearly has made the most from his travel allowances. He's got a good blog post on how (vastly) different CMR and Slurban are when it comes to handling criticism, a piece on what it's like to prepare for a daunting schedule (something floriDuh's coach knows nothing about as well) and a great interview with '09 signee Jordan Love.
• As for next year's recruits, TotalUGA has two (free) reports on a couple of stud GA players.
• The WLOCP has been a hot topic for the crapfest that is the AJC the past month. CMR is now mum. This Bulldog Illustrated post about sums up how I feel. 
• Outside the hedges, spring sports' post-season play has commenced. The women's softball team dropped their opening game in the CWS out in Oklahoma City. Perno leads his team out of the dugout today at noon. And the men's golf team is surviving the new NCAA format up in Ohio...barely.
• And Exhile has discovered that NBC thinks John Salley is actually a celebrity. Supposedly, the former tech hoopster even took his own entrance exam for the reality tv series.

I made my usual $5 weekly donation to GA 

Lottery funds last week. Since I am typing this still under the weight of a mortgage, you can surmise that I also made a donation this week. 

But, as luck would have it I found a genie's lamp last weekend and my first wish was granted.

It was hard to focus through my fly eyes, but I was able to see Slive throw two empty tylenol bottles at the Mouth from tha Outhouse, yelling This is what you've done to me!!  The SEC head honcho then handed out some serious benjamins before I had to skedaddle. That reptilianTweebot lover was eyeing my perch on the wall while showing his tongue.

I sure do hope Charleston Southern School for the Blind Nuns scores a touchdown on those gators.

Oh well, better shut this down before I get pulled for another BUI. Enjoy your weekend Reader. Whether you earned it or not.

Bernie