Lane Kiffin Finds Four More Pointing Back at Him

...well, just three for now.

Tennessee has self-reported another secondary NCAA violation. And you thought the weekend would manage to play out without Mike Hamilton having to speak to his golden toddler, again.

The Times Free Press is reporting that KiffyBaby mentioned recruit Bryce Brown by name on a radio show interview Friday morning. Mike Slive's newest speed dial addition called Brown "a great player."

Brown is arguably the nation's highest rated recruit and has yet to sign a national letter of intent. In fact, the Wichita, Kansas native has yet to narrow his choices down to playing in college. The former Miami commit has a half dozen colleges still after his services. But the RB has not ruled out turning pro in the CFL.

We began the week wondering just how much of a dumbass Lil' Kiff was. To his credit he is doing the best he can to answer the question for us.

Stay tuned reader. This is the tip of the iceberg. Bernie's finger is on the pulse. It's reading that there's more to follow...

Train Wrecks and Rope Belts...a match made in heaven

I've never actually seen a train wreck as it happened. I guess I've seen pictures of one after the fact; a mixture of tragedy and chaos. 

But the one that is happening north of us in Nutsville is really, REALLY hard to take your eyes away from for more than 12 hours. KiffyBaby is writing checks his offensive personnel will not be able to cash.

I keep getting this mental picture of a schoolyard where four big kids are playing and one little brat with a mouth the size of his Diddy's resume is darting around to give each kid more than his fair share of annoyance.

At the time I get the image, the schoolyard is well supervised. The teachers let the brat know when he's crossed the line too far, but it does little to shut the trap. And yet the bigger kids' resolve (albeit tested) grows steadfastly.

Eventually school will let out. The rules will change. And so will the score. Hillbilllys beware: enjoy your coach's mouth while it's not swollen and bloodied.

Friday's Feedbag

• As I clocked into ESPNnews last night I was thrilled to see that there was some NCAAF news coming, right after it cycled through MLB and NASCAR. But I was surprised when the news was that CMR had defended his staff's in-state recruiting practices against KiffyBaby's mindless regurgitation about Marlon Brown's grandmother.
• Is that really news? I had listened to the audio earlier in the day and had read the AJC article covering it. What it amounted to was basically a no comment from a coach taking the high road. Garner went a little more in depth, but it was basically the representatives of an esteemed program not stooping down to the level of the latest circus in town.
• The Mutha of all networks seems a little too enamored with the cotton candy coming out of Philmer's replacement.
• I'll give ya another warning: if you're not clicking over to Jeff Owens' blog daily, you're just an idiot. Get it together, the off-season's no time to get lazy. He's mixing in some great Q&A's with some mindblowing editorials. It all adds up to a vivid look into the life of the student-athletes we spend so much time barking for.
• For some video of 95 talkin' it up, here's Hale's work up.
• You could really sum up the headlines the last few weeks with two words: drugs and Kiffin.
• I'm going to have something a little more in depth on steroids later, but I just can't shake this bewilderment.
• I applaud the possibility of "reinstating" Hammerin' Hank as the HR King. It has been a rare moment of admiration I've had for Bud Selig. But...
• Selig and MLB baseball turn their heads while players stacked and as they come clean there are overtures of possible consequences. MLB cheers heartily and reaps the reward of beefed up regular season HR derbies, then gives a tisk tisk when players get caught in a corner with an empty syringe. Hmmm...
• RidgeDawg over at GeorgiaBulldog.com provided this link earlier this week. It's a great read on Herschel by Joe Posnanski. It's a doosie though, so make sure and carve out a good sized lunch break for it.
• I have to admit I may need to lift my personal strike against reality TV shows and watch Celebrity Apprentice when 34 goes into Trump's board room next month.
• Felton is leaving behind some success. As Chip Towers reports, the former coach made remarkable strides towards cleaning up the team's act in the classroom. Unfortunately, passing grades and classroom attendance didn't translate into Ws on the hardwood. But at least the players we have now are earning their grades.
  
• Speaking of roundball, as the team fights with each other and turnovers take the place of points and assists, undoubtedly the new coach will have an uphill climb. Going o-fer with a bunch of bruised eyes and egos will not make this job appealing to some candidates not named Desperate, excuse me...Knight. 
• These kids need to get it together. As WesterDawg wrote, Hermann and the rest of the staff deserve better as they face personal and professional changes for themselves and their families.
• And what's up with Joaquin Phoenix? Caught a glimpse of him on Letterman. To borrow my wife's favorite quote from The Gladiator, "How do you like me now Meth-head?"
  
• Lastly, for you gentleman readers who have yet to make the plans for tomorrow's smoochie fest, Mackalicious has the hook up...or at least some advice for what NOT to do....no matter how tempting an $80 stuffed and tatt'd up bear might be.

Discussion topic for the weekend, what do you think is worse: Bratastic calling out the brass of the SEC and refusing to take heed or hillbillys thinking he's the best thing since mason jars? Seriously, I hope the distance between lil' Kiff's office and AD Hamilton's (whose name I didn't even know until a few weeks ago...what does that tell you?) isn't far. 

Cuz that carpet is getting worn out.

The King's Quote of the Week:

The Set Up - Chuck and Chernoff were deep in a discussion on steroids and why MLB chooses not to police it and why we don't have a test for HGH yet....

The Quote - "Why can't we test for HGH? I paused live television yesterday. I watched you cook something crispy in the microwave."

As always, it's good to be the King. Have a great weekend reader. BTW - I tried #10 off my Wednesday list. It took less than two minutes and I am happy to report....no orange!

Bernie

Sanford Saturday Withdrawals...and other ways to survive the off-season

The season is a month and a half into the books.

National Signing Day came and went.

So...what do we do now...??

Over 200 days until toe meets leather in Stillwater. That is much too long to twiddle ones thumbs and probably not long enough to complete the wife's to-do or else list.

Bernie feels ya. Below you'll find a carefully constructed guide for surviving the off season. (trademark pending)

1. Re-introduce yourself to your wife and/or other significant others. Assuming they are still around, take a moment to convey your appreciation that they understand their place in your priority pecking order.
2. With Mat Drills well under way, why not take the opportunity to make Coach Van Halanger proud of you as well. Join your local gym. Or kick it old school and follow Herschel's body sculpting 2 trillion sit-ups and push-ups a day. (Results will vary.)
3. Give the Diamond Dawgs a swing. They went deep at Omaha last season, but came up just shy of the warning track. So they are looking for a return trip this June. And what better way to spend a spring afternoon than listening to the clank! of aluminum?
4. Speaking of sports other than football, spring has to be considered Dawg time in the NCAA. With Yoculan's GymDogs making another run at a NCAA title and Diaz's netters doing the same, there are few programs in the nation as successful as Georgia.
5. If professional sports are more your style, then start a weekly chat to discuss the latest MLB players who have been outted as cream users. Or chart the NBA players who have the largest collection of tatts. Bonus points for cross-referencing the two.
6. G-Day game. It is set for April 11th. Great opportunity to catch a first hand look at the competition at RB, DB and to be Joe Cox's backup. Any DE who is healthy is likely to get plenty of playing time and Coach Searels will be trying on his new hat. As a bonus, if you are a Bulldog in Exhile you can watch the game on the mutha.
7. Start working on the menus for the upcoming season's tailgates. Westerdawg has his predictions for the '09 TV schedule if you want to prognosticate as to which games will be more heavy hors d'ourves and which will be more sit down and get greasy!
8. Read a book. Maybe two. Might I suggest Herschel Walker's Breaking Free or anything by Lewis Grizzard. That way you still get small doses of Georgia football without the risks of gluttonous over-indulgence.
9. Spend an afternoon going through the closets in your house to make sure that no garment, umbrella or other incidental colored orange didn't slip by you while you were playing cornhole, drinking bourbon and barking like a Dawg.
10. Speaking of orange, spend an hour or two a day on the HillBilly message boards disguised as an overall'd toothless wonder supporting the new head squealer. IMO - the longer KiffyBaby sticks around the better.
11. And speaking of volunteers...you could provide your assistance to the basketball coaching search. Start a petition around campus to demand that Bobby Knight be interviewed...oh wait...someone's ahead of you there. Maybe you could start one for Ron Jirsa.
12. Follow hockey. It's fast, physical and fighting is part of the game. Sure, it can be hard to follow at first. But if you can coordinate a ten hour tailgate before a night game you can spare a few brain cells towards understanding the art of fore-checking. And if the play of the Atlanta Thrashers doesn't inspire you, check out the Gwinnett Gladiators.
    
13. Take up a new hobby. Something like mountain climbing or scuba diving would be refreshing. Sofa surfing while collecting cheese doodle dust on your t-shirt would be easier to master. Pace yourself and always use caution.
14. Do daily drive-bys (the casual kind, of course) of Sanford Stadium to tide you over until the chickens visit in September. Remember when Greene and Co. made Saban look like an average Chan Gailey? Remember when the Cowboys came to town back in '05 with their much ballyhooed offense and the Dawgs but the beat down on them and the horse they rode in on? Good times... Just make sure not to interfere with authorized traffic.
15. And if all else fails, invest in a PlayStation and use the off-season to beat the living snot out of Tebow at least once a day. Yeh! How's that timeout feel Slurban?
    

Hope you find this helpful reader. If any of them work for you, please let me know.

I'm bored to tears.

Bernie

Miami to NOT Name Martinez Defensive Coordinator

Hurricane Willie Never Threatened

When Miami defensive coordinator Bill Young left Coral Gables on January 20th to return to his alma mater, a Miami Herald reporter stirred up the Athens and Atlanta area blogosphere by saying Georgia DC Willie Martinez would be on the Randy Shannnon short list.

And while fingers were typing...phone lines were, silent.

Even as Shannon hinted that he would be inclined to run the defense himself should he not find a viable candidate, Dawg fans who were filled with ire towards the embattled Georgia DC were volunteering to pack Martinez's bags. Seemingly oblivious to the truth before their eyes, they continued to spew forth stats as if it

was a foregone conclusion that CMR would look away as his good friend was lured away.

Shannon never even baited the hook.

According to sources (you know, the ones with actual relevant information), Miami is set to hire UNC's John Lovett as its new defensive coordinator. Shannon gets to maintain one personality, CMR keeps his staff intact and Hurricane Willie never produced more than a gentle rain shower. 

Lastly, it's interesting to me that Barry Jackson of the Miami Herald, the one who broke the Willie to UM story wide open (ahem!) wasn't the one to report on the John Lovett discussion.

Monday's Meatloaf - From Hawaii to the Peachtree Tavern

With Monday morning comes alarm clocks, a commute to work and bleary eyes. It also brings...meatloaf. 

Dig in. But clean your own dishes.

• I guess with yesterday's Pro Bowl, football officially came to an end for this season. As sad as that is, I couldn't tell you who won the game...
• Stacy Searels' reward for his loyalty was made public. Searels' promotion - he is now running game coordinator for the Dawgs. And it sounds like he and Bobo are really working well together.
• KiffyBaby not only sobered up enough to apologize to Urban (an apology that was as comforting as a visit to the proctologist), but also to apologize to a Pahokee HS football coach for basically accusing the town of not knowing how to use a fax machine and being a bunch of bassackwards gator lovers.
• What's it called when you prove your own point? Kiffykins continues to amaze...er...self-destruct.
• Hopefully you did your homework that was assigned on Friday and read Jeff Owens blog. His post on What it Means has been making Dawg hearts beat a little faster all weekend. I usually reserve this honor for players who have finished their play 'tween the hedges...but Jeff Owens = DamnGoodDawg.
• I'm glad to see that the headlines for Bobby Knight's next gig have changed zip codes. While they were here it was kinda like the fender bender on the side of the road. Nothing really to see, but we stretch our necks to take a gander anyway. Tuscaloosa may be the only campus big enough to contain the egos of both Knight and Saban.
• And if those headlines come back towards Athens, remember that that doesn't guarantee it is news. It's news if someone within Butts-Mehre is talking about it, not some 120 year old writer for the AJC. It's news if Evans requests to speak with Knight, not if some kid gets 200 signatures suggesting Evans speak with the General.
• In terms of the real coaching search, Westerdawg has a look at some puzzle pieces that would be in our favor if they fell into place.
• A-Roid proves he is a fraud. I'm sorry...it stops intriguing me when another name surfaces in the steroid debate despite MLBs very strong stance against performance enhancing drugs (tongue meet cheek). If the league does not test for it and therefore did not police it...well, something about making your own bed comes to mind.
• The bigger fraud is MLB.
• And speaking of drugs, Jamal "Dirty Bird" Anderson took the moniker to a new level in Buckhead this weekend.
• Now, I've never put anything in my nose that my doctor didn't suggest to me (and even then I was hesitant). And growing up, when Nancy Reagan advised me to "Just Say No!" - I followed suit. But I'm pretty sure that if temptation proved too strong to snort a white powder I had paid good money for...I wouldn't do it off of a toilet tank lid.
• I'm not sayin'...I'm just sayin'.

And with that, let's flush this edition. Check back later this week for some tips to surviving the off-season. Until then, whether it's the cream or the clear...please use responsibly.

Bernie

Steverino's Update

Turns out it was right under my nose...

Hot And All The Way up and went to Duluth. 

3117 Main St.

Duluth, GA

(770) 622-2110

Looks like the same menu plus some additions. Many thanks to Nama and Nick for the investigative assistance.

Gettin' Crunk With KiffyBaby

At an energetic throw down it was two in the morning and the party was still jumpin'.

I got me some seagrams and they got they cups, but Slurban he ain't chipped in. 

I just rollin down the street....

I know tha rules, G's up, hoes down...But me likey my gin and juice. 

(Slive - "Uh, try again PeachFuzz.")

Who listens to the words that I speak...I'm laid back in KnocksVill. It's kinda hard being Lane K-I double F. 

Turn off the light and close the doors. We don't love dem coaches.

I'm laid back...as I take a drink in the middle of the street...I'm gonna go build my fence.

Searels Smiles, Owens Blogs...Life is Good

Recruitin' Roundup

If you weren't there or haven't seen the video, here's the AJC's. It's long and I don't think there's a way to skip forward. So you might wanna sit down. I'd give you my video, but this guy stepped in front of me and set up his tripod, laptop and high tech Sony camera. My hand held Canon was no match for that.

Some Parting Shots From NSD:

• If you suffered through my journal, please stop by the BDB Gift Shop. There's a nice gift there as a token of BDBs appreciation.
• I like the comment from CMR that he doesn't try and pressure a recruit into a commitment when they reach his office. He'd rather them walk away and think that they should have committed.
• "If you're good enough to play you'll play. If you're the best you'll start." CMR on which signees could play.
• I saw Searels smile. Even while he was talking to the media.
• CMR is not in favor of an early signing period that would overtax his coaches. Prefers one that would allow kids who want to sign and don't mind foregoing official visits in season.
• David Hale has the hilarious story of Garner finally getting the opportunity to climb out of the doghouse after his comments last year.
• I guess we know which question Lame Kitten did NOT get right on his NCAA test.
• And I'm serious...if you have any info on what happened to Steverino's, please hit me up. Joe was just as appalled. He might just go ape-crap on us. Did it close down? Move to another location? Does the Jamaican Food restuarant that stands there now give it hot and all the way? Displaced Athenians like us need to know.

Miscellaneous

• Matthew Stafford's birthday is tomorrow. He's been busy inking an agent. Good choice picking Matt Ryan's. For an update of the NFL Draft as it pertains to this year's Dawgs, check out RidgeDawg's post with links to the latest mocks.
• Jeff Owens has a blog now. If you want to know why #95 enjoys thunderstorms or what favorite tv shows Rod Battle and Bernie share, you'll have to read. Stop being so dadblameLAZY!! I can't give ya everything.
• If you still believe that the General will march into Butts-Mehre anytime soon (you're an ostrich with your head in the sand), you'll be encouraged to know that he is still pandering for the job. And you'll also enjoy this video featured on Bubba ' Earl. But if you've ever been caught in a greeside bunker, you'll like this one more.

The King's Quote of the Week:

New Friday feature. Chuck Oliver of 680thefan cracks 'em off, BDB highlights 'em.  

The Set Up - Chuck and Chernoff got into a lively discussion about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and disagreed as to whether or not the other Golden Ticket bearers died in the story.

The Quote - "Well maybe you shouldn't drink from a chocolate river if you're a fat German kid."

It's good to be the king, indeed. Have a good weekend reader.

Bernie

KiffyBaby Gets Grounded

But Dad...Urban already has two championships...it's not fair!

So Slive reprimands the Tennessee Teenager for accusing subUrban of cheatin'. Lame Kitten issues a heartless apology and says he didn't intend to hurt anyone's feelings. I guess we know which question the new wet behind the ears coach missed on the NCAA test.

But what about the players who signed with Tennessee Wednesday? Don't they get an apology? You know, since their brand new coach with the cute name told a group of alumni donors Thursday morning that the kids he just signed were a bunch of losers. 

"Understand this class is far below the standards we have here and what will be here in the future."

Nice. About the only thing KiffyBaby has done right since he arrived in Hillbilly Land is pedal his tricycle to the end of the driveway each month to get his paycheck out of the mailbox.

The list of grievances grows nearly daily:

1. Accuses CMR of not paying attention to Georgia's home grown talent. CMR tells him he should mind his own damn bizness. Oh, and he also takes the top two recruits from the state of Tennessee for good measure.
2. Pounds his chest and claims to have grabbed the best recruiters from other SEC schools. Dude! You whiffed on Rodney Garner and the AllBarn assistant wasn't on the staff anymore.
3. When asked about Marlon Brown, he throws the kid's grandmother under the bus saying she was the reason Brown didn't stay in state.
4. Tells some breakfast eatin' overalls that the '09 class sucked, but the '10 class will be so much better.
5. And before his ass can find a pen to write the check, his mouth tells the teacher Urban copied off of his paper.

It turned out Kiffy just hadn't read the whole chapter the night before. More and more people are beginning to wonder if the peachfuzzed punk can read at all.

Bernie's National Signing Day Journal

Before the Ink Hits the Paper, the Rubber

Must Meet the Road

At the risk of boring you to tears, here is Bernie's NSD experience...

5:45 - alarm goes off, Jenn calls me crazy...again. Then goes back to sleep.

5:48 - Shower water finally warms up.

6:15 - Truck echos Jenn's sentiments...temperature is like, one.

7:06 - I nearly swerve off the road when word comes that Branden Smith is ink'd.

7:07 - Smith officially receives the Early Bird Award for the '09 class.

7:15 - Jessica at McDonald's gets my order correct. It's gonna be a good day.

7:23 - I see that Sons of Italy has moved to South Milledge...

7:30 - Park at Stegeman and begin to walk towards Butts-Mehre.

7:32 - My hands second the motion that I'm crazy...the temperature is like...three.

7:38 - I walk into BM right behind the paper delivery guy bringing in about 6 reams of paper on a hand truck. That should be enough right? Yeh...it's gonna be a good day!

7:42 - Successfully avoid the doughnuts.

7:57 - Officially hear the first of many Hurriance Willie rumors in the room.

8:00 - Damon Evans enters building. Bobby Knight nowhere in sight.

8:04 - Montez Robinson inks.

8:05 - Evidently CMR and UMs Shannon had handshake deal not to disrupt '09 classes with coaching moves. (Hey, just passing it along...)

8:10 - Read Magill's letter to the Augusta Bulldog Club back in '72. Reaffirms the fact that Dan Magill = DamnGoodDawg

8:16 - Jordan Love ink'd in as a Dawg. (Watchout for this sleeper)

8:20 - Shawn Williams' fax arrives. Video airs his highlights. Impressive.

8:23 - Again avoid doughnut table, but give in with the coffee. And Derrick Lott's letter arrives.

8:26 - Chris Burnette completes a calculus equation that should help him become Troup's 2009 Valedictorian. On his way to AP Physics he faxes his LOI.

8:31 - Arthur Lynch's fax comes from somewhere where it is even colder than Athens.

8:32 - Austin Long of Memphis signs on.

8:39 - Rumors in the room that Coach Willie is indeed Miami's next defensive coordinator. In other news, Bobby Knight agrees to let Dickie V be his chaffeur.

8:44 - Finish my examination of both Heismans in the building. I see no differences despite the fact that 40 years separates them. Impressive.

8:49 - Chase Vasser puts pen to paper. The kid has smarts and can play. Next Rennie..??

8:59 - Big Dawg Mike Woods brings his painted head into Butts-Mehre. No stocking cap for that beautiful bald head. GATA!

9:00 - Kevin Kopp and Kelin Johnson begin their show and analysis.

9:11 - Bobby and Dickie still looking for limo. Coach Willie still answering texts for CMR.

9:20 - Rantavious Wooten is ink'd. Highlights show him in the Wildcat...hmmm...

9:31 - Coffee and coke have kicked in. I'm juiced up! Better find the restroom..

9:34 - Pass by the doughnut table and there's still plenty. No thanks. Just some water.

9:52 - An official Coach Willie sighting. Still sunny outside and he's not wearing a poncho.

9:58 - Word spreads that for the first time in months, Reid held to his word for more than 14 hours and signed with Papa Bowden.

10:04 - Word also spreads that Stephen Hill has decided to block at Tech rather than catch at UGA. Is she putting out more doughnuts...??

10:12 - Room is really filling up. Second camera man sets up right in front of me.

10:13 - Wish I had brought a tripod...

10:21 - All-American Washaun Ealey delivers depth to backfield with a fax correctly dialed.

10:24 - Dexter Moody joins Vasser as another LB on UGA stationary.

10:25 - Not worried. But hoping Gilliard's LOI comes in soon before Reid drags him down to be another Criminole.

10:33 - Michael Gilliard's ink'd. Wahoo!

10:33:31 - Abry Jones completes the list of committed players to put pen to Dawg paper.

10:33:32 - Fans rumble about targets across the southeast skipping Senior English to spend time with a cake in their Media Center.

10:40 - Bryan McClendon joins Kelin in front of crowd and cameras. Mentions that Wooten is explosive. Hmm...

10:50 - Kevin Kopp announces that any cars parked behind Foley's left field wall are in jeopardy of being towed.

10:50:01 - Take a moment to pat myself on the back for opting to pay the $5 to park in the deck.

10:51 - Marian Mozingo grabs guy in crowd a gives him three cracks at some Dawg Trivia. Ward, Pollack and Bobo were the answers. I got two right, guy in front of mic got one. Although in his defense crowd goaded him into false Zeier answer.

11:00 - Second Evans sighting. Crowd listens for Vitale's mouth...nope, no sound of any ESPN to SEC job pandering inside these sacred walls.

11:10 - Coach Richt take the stage. Assistants and other staff file in behind him.

11:10 - 11:24 CMR will not answer questions about Toby Jackson for obvious reasons/Says he's pleased with completeness of class/Hopes to have a couple more, without mentioning names, specifically hints at Brown and Charles/Says he doesn't pressure kids to commit (those are just the highlights)

11:25 - CMR defers question about QBs to Bobo. He likes them.

11:35 - CMR defers question about new safety to Coach Willie. How fast is his 40? Fast enough. Love it!

11:40 - CMR defers question about Special Teams to Fabris. Nothing of consequence in the answer. But CJF seems grumpy.

11:45 - Coach Willie emerges from stairwell to show text to Coach Bobo. Door closes.

11:52 - Question and Answer ends.

11:55 - Bernie confirms that there are 7 doughnuts left.

12:10 - Surprised to see that Steverino's is no more...Ugh! Are you kidding me? Back to see Jessica...

12:55 - On Chuck and Chernoff, Jamie Newberg says there are rumors that Brown has eliminated KiffyBaby and that he believes Dawgs are the leader.

1:05 - Bernie makes it home in time to pick up his daughter from pre-K.

3:25 - On with Buck and Kincade, CMR is asked about WRs. He says we may feel better by the end of the day...

3:48 - Marlon Brown is a DAWG! Hellz Yeh!

3:49 - Orson Charles' phone rings....