Blitzkrieg in the Bayou

Portions of a letter from the Editor earlier this week:


Mr. Nama,

The hardworking, albeit distractable staff here at BDB would like to express our apologies to you as the runner up in last week's trivia. We understand you correctly answered the bonus question and then followed up with a terrific sudden death answer. However, the other contestant pulled the "Married to the Creator" Trump card, and the Burnette sofa is a lonely place. After 11 years of marriage, Bernie knows when to fold 'em and we hope that as a married veteran yourself, you will understand. Please accept this bonus link as a consolation and we look forward to your continued support of all things Blawg.


So ...........BDB readers, the winner is obviously Jenn from Lawrenceville. As luck would have it, last week's trivia was sponsored by Podere Le Caselle. Pick a week honey, I'll call Delta.


Last week's trivia results just prove that, with an imperfect system, controversy can happen. You know, just like with the BCS. The first BCS rankings were released Sunday afternoon and since then every college football fanatic, writer and coach has spent tireless hours poring over every detail. The humans love the Trojans, but the computers hate 'em. Is Ohio State making a move for a third consecutive BCS Title Smackdown? Could this be a dream season for JoePa? One where he could get a new hip and a BCS pat on the back?


None of that drivel here at Bernie's Dawg Blawg. It's LSU week ......which happens to precede the annual Border War in Jacksonville.......which happens to precede a trip to Lexington, which is of course followed by a trip to JurdanHair. (Deep Breath! .......exhale.) Then there's a bye week before Johnson's Jackets make their first visit to Athens.


You get the idea. There's much work ahead. Let's get busy!


I've been having this feeling in my gut the past week or so. Meals came and went and it was still there. We won Homecoming against Vandy and it only intensified, so I surmised that it had something to do with the Dawgs. I fretted and worried ....until finally it dawned on me. It was like the elephant sitting in the corner of the room that my psyche refused to address. Only when my mind came out of the fog, I realized there were TWO elephants. One was the fact that I am running out of reasons to predict Dawg victories. We've dominated two teams the last couple of weeks and yet the game wasn't over until the end. Perplexing. The other was the fact that this is BDB's 13th edition. I don't consider myself really, REALLY superstitious. My wife for instance will spend an entire quarter of a game adjacent to a concession line if she feels it is helping Coach Bobo focus. I don't go quite that far. But I do wear certain items of clothing to games if we are successful. I may adjust somewhat due to weather, but the basic outfit stays the same. Probably like you, my "black-out" attire has been retired.


But #13 coming just before LSU, that's hard to dismiss. From what I saw of their game against South Carolina the other night, LSU may not have all of the play makers they are used to having, but they are every bit of the physical team we have grown accustomed to seeing from our creole cousins. And "the HAT" is always innovative. Their big D-tackle Ricky Francois Jean Louis Jumbalaya (or whatever his name is) was out for the Carolina game and they found themselves thin, so they used four defensive ends on the front line. The result - 6 sacks, 7 tackles for loss against the chickens. I can't remember how many we had against the Visor, but I know it wasn't that many.


Nearly a year ago we all had penciled in Miles for the Michigan job; he stayed but Defensive Coordinator Pelini left for Lincoln. The LSYou defense is still very aggressive under co-coordinators Peveto and Mallory. And you can bet they wanna pressure our youthful big heftys. I expect they'll have their backers and safeties dialed up early and often to test Boling and company. I also expect Bobo to counter with some quick throws and a lot of I-formation to allow Chapas/Southerland and Moreno to help pass protect on second and longs.


On the other side, our D must prepare for one fairly inexperienced QB (Lee) who seems to have a talented arm. And they'll prepare for another (Hatch) who used his brain to get into Harvard, but used his SkyMiles to fly south as a transfer. Crowton likes to use Brainiac to create space with his legs, but he will pass on occasion. Both Lee and Hatch are still young in terms of SEC coursework, so I believe Martinez will throw multiple looks at the duo and try to pressure them into some mistakes. Crowton will counter by keeping our front honest with a steady diet of Charles Scott and Keiland Williams. But perhaps their most lethal offensive threat is one that barely towers over Mary Lou Retton. Trindon Holliday can run the length of the field faster than it takes us to sit down on a sofa. But at a meager 170 pounds, I think one shot from Rennie may just sideline Junior for somewhere between a few plays and an eternity.


My faithful readers, let's huddle up a minute ..........We're at a crossroads in the season, ladies and gents. In nine days we'll be heading home from Jacksonville. If we cross that state line with two more losses than we have today, we've gone from dreaming of going to Atlanta for the SEC Title game to the reality of possibly going to Atlanta for the Chick-Fil-A Bowl. If we split the games and go 1-1, we better hope that one win is against Florida if we're to have any chance at an SEC crown. With either of those scenarios unlucky #13 will have bit us good and the rumblings will have turned into grumblings in terms of what is ailing this talented team.


But I'm staring straight at the end of this 13th blawg and I'm smiling. I'm smiling cuz I have faith in another number ...... 7!! Stafford has yet to have a moment as a Dawg. We've heard the pundits point that out on occasion, despite his talent and NFL upside. He hasn't had that moment that other Dawgs have had to transcend their status as another scholarship player into a BullDawg of Lore. Greene had his moment early in his career. Before Munson made his Hobnail Boot call, Richt and staff called for P-44 Haynes. Now we see the replay every home game on the BigBoard. Greene had another at Auburn the next season when he hit Michael Johnson on 70XTakeoff to secure a shot at the SEC Title. Pollack - INT @ South Carolina. Herschel - placing his cleat marks on Bill Bates chest in Knoxville. Buck Belue - Lindsay Scott. 'Nuf said there.


And how about this one....Quincy Carter - he had a performance of a lifetime as a freshman in '98. He was on the road to Freshman of the Year honors in the SEC and he was on the road in ........Baton Rouge. He was near perfect in leading the Dawgs to an upset of then #6 LSU 28-27.


We've seen highlights of Stafford ripping his helmet off and running to celebrate with his team after throwing the game winning TD in OT to Mikey last year at Alabama. But this blawgger doesn't believe that was his moment. He has more talent than David Greene, he has a bigger arm than Buck Belue and he has a better head on his shoulders than Carter. But those and others have moved their name into places of Butts-Mehre where they will stay long after we're gone. #7 has made plenty of big plays, but Stafford's moment (I will argue) is still out there. And I think it shows itself sooner rather than later. Why not this weekend?



Dawgs 31


Crazy Creoles 13




Trivia brought to you this week by humble pie and boiled crow. They don't taste good, but it beats sleeping downstairs. Standing 4 feet tall, weighing nearly 200 pounds and valued at $10,000, this rivalry trophy is believed to be the heaviest of all rivalry trophies. What is its name and what two teams battle for the chance to (....ugh.....UGH!!....) lift it?



To those travelling to Cajun Country, beware of voodoo dolls and undercooked Boudin. And if given the choice of spending 10 seconds in Mike's cage or Rastlin' with Ti-Paul Jean Phillipe ......play it safe .......................choose the tiger.








Bernie

Vanderbilt victories are always weird.....

....but never very scientific.

First, a message from this week's sponsor, Forearm Shiver: the Great Equalizer.

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Pardon the bleary eyes. Between the game and an emergency meeting Sunday of the BDB staff, your humble blawgger has not gotten much rest. For the first time since its inception (well over a month ago), the BDB has a tie in its Trivia qustion for the week. Jenn from Lawrenceville evidently has her own research team at the ready and quite swiftly determined that Zach Mettenberger is UGA's other Elite 11 QB commit. She let her research staff have the rest of the day off and Chris Nama swooped in with the answer to the bonus question. Nama's success at BDB trivia has been well documented. So it came as no surprise that he knew Mr. Mettenberger's mom Tammy, is an admin asst for CMR.

Over an hour into the emergency meeting yesterday, Senior Chief Executive Financial Advisor Lisa suggested the prize be split. This set off a brouhaha as Chief Executive Lead Editor/Publishing Consultant Wyatt Donnelly was quick to point out that Jenn was first to respond and should therefore claim to prize. Lead Publicity Communications and Relations Advisor Gary Wallace sided with Wyatt's suggestion, pointing out that Mr. Nama only answered the bonus question. Janitor Chet Donnelly then threw his mop at Wyatt and yelled, "Those science experiments have fried your brain, ButtWad! The Bonus was the harder part of the (inaudible) question....(grunts)......(inaudible)......"

Afraid of the aggresive tone the meeting was devolving into, Lead Research Advisor Poindexter called on the head honcho himself. Bernie chastised the staff, especially Gary for wearing a bra on his head to the emergency meeting and decided to resolve the issue using a sudden death playoff question. So here's your cue Jenn and Nama, dig deep. The answer's out there somewhere: what is the name of Zach's father?

And now it is time to play another round of.............Good News, Bad News!

Good news - the Dawgs beat Vandy. Bad news - it couldashoulda been over by halftime.

Good news - the Dawgs only had 5 penalties this week.  Bad news - two pass interference calls (one VERY questionable, the other not so much) led to a Vandy score.

Good news - Stafford started really hot. Bad news - after starting 4/5, he seemed to lose a rhythm.

Good news - the D had two interceptions. Bad news - they left another handful on the field.

Good news - the O line created a lot of space for Knowshon to do his "thang". Bad news - another "big hefty" now getting coached by Ron Courson instead of Stacy Searels.

Good news - although my predicted final score was a couple field goals off, my overall assessment of what was to come was pretty accurate. Bad news - I take no special comfort in that.

Bonus Round - Double Bad News. Two arrests made early Sunday morning. Brandon Wood will not be joining his teammates in the Bayou. Vince Vance reminds me to renew my license next month.

Some thoughts from the Vandy game: I really thought the O line played well, but perhaps their greatest test lies in Saturday's showdown in Baton Rouge, cuz they like to "bring it", as my cousin Brooks likes to say. You continue to see some missed blocks, but it was nice to see them on a 2nd consecutive week, with the game in the balance late, grit their teeth, hunker down and shove some weight around. As for AJ Green, let's just take a moment to gaze into Bernie's crystal ball. AJ showed up on campus this summer. In a few months, he'll begin his first Van Halanger off season workout regimen. The kid is scary talented now, but with some muscle added to that frame - my oh my! He may be this year's most productive freshman receiver. This time next season he may very well be the country's best. The benefits are already suiting MoMass as Green draws more and more attention. Wonder who'll reap the benefits next year? (Marlon Brown - go ahead and commit!) And lastly, we saw Bryan Evans get pulled and Vance Cuff take his place. Evans was continually getting "picked on", especially close to the goal line on fade routes. He's given up 3 TDs the last two weeks. We heard the coaches last year (his freshman season) talk about how impressed they were with Cuff. Now's his chance to shine.

And one more "lastly", we seemed to blitz more against Vandy. And when we pressured Adams it either resulted in an INT, a shoulda been INT or a negative in down and/or distance. I sure hope it is a sign that Coach Willie is beginning to trust his secondary in more man coverage. Cuz we also saw that rushing three or four just isn't making the opposing QB sweat, at all.

Shout outs:

• Bailey Simpson and Beau Gilmore for being named UGA Homecoming Queen and King, respectively.
• Reshad Jones for a stellar performance, one Dawg fans had been waiting on from a kid who was once the nation's top recruit at safety. 
• The kid on River Road before the game who overthrew his buddy and subsequently landed his football into the solo cup of some Vandy fan. Classic! Even if it was an "accident". You'll get more than a shout out if you can duplicate that "accident" against a Tech fan next month.
• Terry Bowden for bringing national respectability to Yahoo! Sports with his insight and coverage of college football. 'Fess up! Raise your hand if you knew he wrote for Yahoo! before he gave Brother Tommy a forearm shiver - "yahoo style" last week? ..........no one???? Surprising.
• Knowshon. Again. The 172 yards he gained were impressive. But the 5 or 6 he gained after the "facial" he gave Ryan Hamilton of the Commodore defense were the most fun!
• DJ Shockley. Thanks for spending just a small part of your bye week with us as it is always a pleasure seeing you on the UGA sideline.
• And an early shout out to CBS for making the rowdy cajuns cut their revelry a little short this coming Saturday. A 2:30 kickoff should be much more pleasant for the Dawgs, and the fans that follow them down there. You know, as opposed to a 6:30pm start.
  

Hope to see you back here on Friday for the LSU preview. I stayed up past my bedtime Saturday night to get a look at the Tigers. Some parts of their win in Columbia were encouraging. Others......very, VERY disturbing.

Yours in red and black,

Bernie

Bernie's Dawg Blawg now accepting subscriptions. Unlimited access and bi-weekly delivery to your inbox. Act now while supplies last. Offer expires when Spurrier wins his next National Championship! Email clbernie@yahoo.com to start the madness.

In this week's episode......

.......Tony Romo asks Terry Bowden for a pink band-aid. And limps away with a headache.

Did I miss a memo? I wasn't aware that ESPN was switching their programming and becoming the Dallas Cowboys channel. Just when they started to back off their 24/7 coverage of Tony Romo missing 4-6 weeks, he decides he is going to play anyway. Joy! Then they start more non-stop coverage of whether this is a wise decision or not. Did Favre provide some vicodin along with his sage advice to Romo?

Oh!....did I mention Romo has a BROKEN PINKIE FINGER? With all the attention he's getting you would think he was something more than an average QB who happens to date some chick who tries to entertain people with her.....voice. If there's a plus side, the DCNN (Dallas Cowboys News Network) had to break up their coverage of another overrated athlete fighting with his babysitter (not his children's babysitter, and not his bodyguard...his own babysitter) in a drunken stupor and his punishment therein.

And all of this the week before the first BCS rankings come out in college football. It was enough to make me watch a minute and a half of that Dancing show.

There was a lot of news this week in college football, some of which ESPN mentioned on the little ticker at the bottom of the screen. Most newsworthy, Clemson canned their coach. I know the eventual headlines read he resigned, but only Momma Bowden believes that. And there was no shortage of people lining up to kick Tommy while he was down either. His former All-ACC QB threw him under the bus and then the kid's dad threw the bus in reverse. What an example for Jeff Harper to provide for his son Cullen. "When you get benched because you suck, blame someone!" Meanwhile the Thunder to the Tiger tailback tandem stood in front of a camera and wept......didn't really say much.....just wept. Captivating!

And if things weren't spicy enough, Bowden's own brother let things die down just a little before cranking up the bus again. I guess Terry (never one to enjoy not talking for more than the amount of time it takes for him to suck in some more hot air) couldn't stand to see his brother grab five consecutive days' worth of headlines so he had to throw his nickel's worth in.

Reached at his home where he was busy taking a bubble bath with his Auburn National Championship Trophy - PROBATION STYLE!!, Terry didn't mince words. "Diddy once benched me from our family Thanksgiving Day backyard game and put Tommy in at quarterback. I guess Tommy got what he deserved then. Yeh, I always say you gotta coach em real good, just like my Diddy." BDB then pointed out that his name is not on Clemson's short list of candidates. "Well they never really gave my brother much of a chance." He had ten years. "My Diddy said he shoulda gotten at least another game." He just lost to Wake Forest....again. "So'd my Diddy." Can you have a complete thought without mentioning your father? "One time back at Samford, we trailed Our Lady Sister of Mercy by 10. We had 4th and 1 from our own 13 yard line. I didn't even call Diddy. I kicked the field goal." Well, there you go.

Someone who has been mentioned as a Tommy successor is Bobby Johnson. He touched that rock at Clemson as a D-back and recruited the area well as Furman's head coach. He has lead the SEC's academic school to a torrid start this season. It says something to me when a school who has a history of just reacting to their own coaching changes comes out early Tuesday (before the ink was really dry on the headlines of Bowden's dismissal) and proactively says they will do whatever it takes to keep Coach Johnson. He helps sell the program, but more importantly to the school, he sells Vanderbilt University. Stay tuned!

Vanderbilt .........they're kind of like the kid brother. You push them around, beat them up pretty good on occasion, and consistently remind them that they are the kid brother and that they'll never be as big or as strong as you. Then puberty hits and it's a whole new ball game. For Vandy, puberty was the beginning of the Coach Johnson era. During his six years at the helm, they have always played tough. So tough that the Dawgs barely escaped Nashville with a win last year. In fact, we really snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. If a team runs away with a game against Coach Johnson's team, they likely have caught them when their depth was a serious issue. Vandy's first string, for the most part, can line up against anyone. Where they suffer is the depth behind those starters. After all, there's only so many southern football players with a qualifying SAT score for Vanderbilt.

BYU fell last night. It's a week the Dawgs could move up a notch or two in the rankings as we head for the "back nine" of the college football season. Many Dawg fans feel their beloved team is poised for a knockout, either on the receiving end or the giving end. You know - on the one hand you can see us falling flat and heading into Death Valley next week with two losses. On the other you can see us finally putting a complete SEC game together and blowing the 'Dores out. It is Homecoming week after all.

I guess I'll shoot the gap - this as a game that is close for three quarters. We'll enter the 4th with our fingers raised to the sky, staring at a 3 point lead. Somewhere in the final ten minutes we pull away with a Walsh kick or a Green TD catch. You know, a lot like last year.

Dawgs 27

'dores 17

This week's trivia: Aaron Murray of Plant Senior HS in Florida is the nation's top recruit at the QB position and is committed to UGA. I would say he is arguably the best 17 year old QB in the nation, but we all know that scouting high school recruits is an entirely objective process. Last night Murray broke his leg and dislocated his ankle after passing for over 200 yards in a little less than a half. He is one of two QB commits CMR has received for the '09 class. For this week's prize, name the other commit. Bonus if you can also explain this young man's ties to UGA.

Happy Homecoming! And remember to tune into ESPN next week for an in depth look at how botox has literally changed the face of the Cowboys.

Bernie

Rocky Top Domination....?????

After all of the interest in my little soccer team it is only fair that I bring ALL of my readers up to date on their success before we turn our attention to our favorite ample bodied Appalachian. The Big Green Machine was as successful on the field as they were remembering that we were the visitors this week and needed to wear the white jerseys for the first time this season. Still tired I guess from running laps all week after giving up so many goals against the Dolphins, the little sweeties gave up a number of goals to a big, physical group of girls that quite possibly may have Chinese versions of "tricked up" birth certificates. Soon our speed, superior skill and consistent coaching took over however. Final score - Capri Suns and pringles for everyone!

Emergency bulletin from Sanford: yellow flags are making the turf die due to lack of sunlight exposure!!

So we go from leading the nation in egregious offenses and total penalties to.......less of an egregiously penalized team. Eleven penalties for 76 yards. Still too many flags, even though two of them were self imposed. As a consolation, Tennessee was penalized 10 times for 96 yards. I went back and checked the video of the MoMass penalty. My first reaction was surprise that he was able to jump back up. Beurlein (CBS color commentator) disagreed with the call of helmet to helmet. In slow motion he may have a point. The bottom line is it was a vicious hit that evidently only knocked the breath out of our senior wideout.

But the most flagrant penalty came at the tailgate. Jenn is assessed the season's first roughing the Bernie penalty. But judging from the reaction, she will gladly take the penalty and the yards. OUCH! To be fair, I had just whipped her at cornhole. However, I did not foresee the consequences............

Back to the game. Well it certainly wasn't the blow out that was predicted here, but it was a win. The Dawgs had a chance to bring a smile to Johnny Majors' face by blowing the coonskin cap off of Phil "Et tu Brute" Fulmer, but red zone woes hurt the Dawgs, as well as those who bet on them to cover the spread.

As I checked the box score Sunday morning I promised I would not bash Bobo or Martinez since both the offense and the defense performed so well. Just a sampling of the stats: over 42 minutes of offensive possession, Tennessee possessed the ball LESS than 7 minutes the second half, 1 (uno) yard rushing for UT, 458 yards of total offense, 29 Dawg first downs to their 10. But can someone explain to me the fascination with screen plays so close to the goal line? You know, that fake screen to the right and then a quick screen to the left is nice and flashy.....when it works. Stafford has arguably his best game as a Dawg, but it was marred by two bad calls by Bobo - if you ask me. #7 couldn't have been expecting their defensive end to drop into coverage and has to throw that ball quickly as the play is designed. And the Eric Berry interception was just as bad of a call. Green was outplayed when he had about a 50/50 shot of scoring from the play's outset. For my money, I'd be less upset if we get into the red zone and settle for a field goal after handing it to #24 three times. Much better than a screen pass or a fade route.

And one more (mild) critique of the defense. They did remarkably well against the run, but how much of that was due to Tennessee's apparent disinterest in running the ball? We committed 8 or more to the run and forced Nick Stephens to beat us, we expected that. But Foster touched the ball 6 times, and half of those were receptions. He and Hardesty combined for 24 yards on 9 carries. I'm as proud of Martinez's defense as the next fan, they definitely showed an intensity that was lacking ....I don't know .......say, two weeks ago. But I'm not jumping up and down for joy at our success. Better, MUCH better offensive teams await.

In fact, if you look at the schedule ahead and the one behind, we definitely ate our dessert first so to speak. Nothing but well built, indigestible, Tempe cheeseburgers ahead of this team of Dawgs. And the injuries continue to mount. Saturday against the 'dores we'll start our fourth left tackle. Vance had done really well, and his season-ending injury will force Searels to ask the most commonly asked question in Butts-Mehre this season, "Tripp! What number do you want to wear this week?"

Shout outs!

• Blair Walsh for nearly outscoring the entire hillbilly offense by himself. Walsh uses yoga as part of his workout regimen and the results have been very exciting as he is 10 of 12 this season. Both misses I believe were beyond 50 yards.

• The entire O-line for punishing an exhausted defensive Tennessee front in the fourth quarter. 17 plays, 76 yards and 11 minutes. Impressive! Tennessee knew what we were gonna do and we did it anyway (until we got too close to the goal line).



• Knowshon. The man gets a lot of props and national attention. He certainly doesn't need a BDB shout out from the BDB Blawg. But you get what you deserve 'tween these hedges of cyberspace. And he absolutely leveled ... I mean LEVELED a UT defensive end at least twice. I thoroughly enjoy seeing a running back pull his weight in the pass protection department. I think NFL scouts enjoy seeing it even more....... Oops! Did I open up that can of worms again?



• And Adam Wynn for getting last week's trivia question right. Just when I thought Ainsley had dug up a stumper from her Daddy's library, Adam correctly identifies the Nancy Hanks as the train that transported Uga I and Sonny Seiler to Atlanta to watch Theron Sapp become The Man Who Broke the Drought. Contacted through Facebook in between study sessions on campus, Adam couldn't refrain from smiling as he commented. "Truly it was you're strong influence Mr. Burnette during my high school years that allowed me the opportunity to gain such knowledge into University of Georgia lore. I am always indebted to you." Of course I've taken some creative liberties, but you get the point. He is a fine student at a stellar academic and athletic institution and the benefits are inevitable.

Your prize is a special one Mr. Wynn. Lost in Mr. Hannon's adaptation of the events leading up to that game against the North Avenue Trade School, is the fact that there were three turkey sandwiches made by Mrs. Seiler back in November of '57. One for Sonny, one for Uga.......and one for you! (Allow 4-6 weeks for delivery, then enjoy!)

Have a great week loyal blawggers. Rest up. The road ahead is filled with adventure, ups, aches, pains, joys, monday evening quarterbacking, downs, fried dill pickles at Gnat's, cornhole, zone coverages, lots of travel, MRIs, yellow flags, sunday evening coaching, PBR and of course, leg tackles!

Bernie

No Shortage of Orange Overalls These Days

Yes.....times is tough in the land of ole rocky top. Pass the jug and the pork rinds.

I guess word of the BDB suspensions last week eventually reached Knoxville, by telegraph. By holding our offensive and defensive coordinators accountable for their part in the loss to Bama, I had no idea it would be such an inspiration to Fill-it-up Fulmer that he would start holding his players accountable for academics of all things. Two reserve linemen couldn't pull their Hillbilly Literature grade up to passing before travel arrangements had been made for Athens, so Fulmer left them behind. Let's hope the extra effort paid to this one class doesn't affect their grade in Appalachian Anthropology - a Study in the Dynamics of Shallow Gene Pools.

CMR was also evidently inspired by the BDB suspensions as he dropped two schollies this week for conduct unbecoming of a bulldog. Baldwin had already been suspended indefinitely and really wasn't much of a surprise. Hill had yet to catch a ball (that this blawgger is aware of) mostly due to injuries, after redshirting last year. It's never good to see a young man lose his scholarship, but on the bright side we're slowing making room for a full class for next year.

Dawg fans will once again descend on Sanford tomorrow afternoon in hopes of cheering for more than just their team's attendance. BDB's inside source says those black jerseys have been locked up like a prisoner in Johnny Cash's own Folsom Prison; who knows if they'll ever be seen again. One Dawg who we'll see more of is Brannan Southerland who returns after a second foot surgery. Chapas has certainly filled in admirably, but Southerland will be the offensive captain Saturday without having played a single offensive down this season. Tells me something about how much he is respected by the players and the coaches.

Another Dawg worthy of respect is Bruce Figgins. Saturday will possibly be his last game of the season, before (likely) electing for season ending shoulder surgery. With Chandler out this week, Tripp still learning to adjust his size to the position and White still on the smaller side of a tight end frame, Figgins will suit it up and play through the pain. Maybe a cortisone shot will help too.

Before we get to this week's prediction (to tell the truth I'm stalling until inspiration hits me...) I want to thank everyone for the outpouring of support for my little soccer team. The ideas for teaching them to leg tackle were as numerous as they were humorous. Devoted reader Paulie Walnuts even suggested he and Christafuh coach them up this week on how to make the other team sleep with the fishes........unfortunately this week's practice was rained out.

I know!! I was as stunned as you are. Soccer can't get rained out! Rain makes sports like soccer, football, curling, bossaball more interesting. Not to mention it would be easier to leg tackle on the slick surface. But evidently girls don't like their hair wet. Not to mention their Hannah Montana soccer shoes. All I can say is the first "cutie pie" to give up an uncontested breakaway, doesn't get a Capri Sun after the game.

OK....back to the gridiron. I'm relentless in my optimism for the Dawgs. I was the guy that predicted we'd surprise Spurrier's gators 'tween the hedges back in 1995. You know...when the visor hung 50 on us. Dumb, huh? Well not as dumb as putting a trampoline on a volleyball court.

But even without my half full glass, there are just some games that smell like a victory to me; this is one of those games. But everytime I begin to convince myself that we're about to serve a heaping helping of whoopass to the great big pumpkin, I remember last year in Knoxville; 2006 in Athens; and two weeks ago against Nick Satan's Tide. In 2006 we rolled into the locker room at halftime riding high. The second half was like getting a root canal without the goofy gas (Tennessee fans use Wikipedia .......ooops...sorry!..............use an e n c y c l o p e d i a to research this reference to dental care as I am aware that such a thing has become obsolete in your.....uhm.....neck of the woods). And last year the bus driver was the only one on top of his game. He drove us to the stadium. Not much else positive happened after that.

But there's that smell again. Do you smell it? It's not an upset. It's not the potpourri Jenn put in the half bath. It could be the bratwurst.......

But I believe the week off cures what ails us. I'm eager to hear the trumpeter in the southwest corner of the stadium. I wanna see UGA VII show a little spunk and piss on Fulmer's sneaker. I can't wait to feel the stadium erupt when Southerland bellies up from two and half yards for a TD. Oh yeh! It's more than a smell of victory now. I can taste it. Dawgs send the vol fans to their local flea market to sell their orange overalls, broken 8 track player and likely their coach's playbook.

Dawgs 41

descendants of their uncle and first cousin 14

This week's trivia is brought to you by Ainsley. I've challenged her to dig deep into Daddy's Dawg library for a doosie. She tells me we won't be disappointed. Take it away sweetheart.

"We love Uga! And we really don't like the yellow jackets. But in the 1950s they dominated the Dawgs and entered the 1957 contest looking to extend an 8 game losing streak for the Bulldogs. Theron Sapp scored the winning touchdown and has since been called The Man Who Broke the Drought. (you're doin' great honey!) Mr. Seiler brought Uga I to the game at Grant Field, but couldn't make it by car. He and Uga rode on a train and each had a turkey sandwich for lunch. What was the name of the train they rode on to witness one of the greatest games in Georgia football history?"

Nice work Ainsley. Now go tackle your sister. Big game Saturday morning.

See the rest of you 'tween the hedges!!

Bernie

How to teach a 4 year old to leg tackle......

Rookie blawgger mistake using my best Fulmer jokes during a bye week. But fear not Faithful Reader, I'm sure something spontaneous will fill the void that is.........that is.......ahhhmm......what was I saying?

Sorry if my mind is a bit more cluttered than usual. I was able to devote all of my mental energy this weekend to the 4 year old girls soccer team I'm coaching. Their progress since the beginning of the season astounded me! Sure, I proudly tell the parents and other more casual observers that it must be the superior coaching, but deep down I realize that is about as true as saying Coach Fulmer's fanny is just hot because of the extra spicy hot wings he ingested for breakfast. Tennessee - 2-3, 0-2...OUCH!! Word outta Knoxville is Fulmer hasn't had a Cracker Barrel tab comp'd in weeks.

Back to soccer.....practice is tomorrow and I'm wondering what to have the little Pele's in pigtails do. They scored like 20 goals Saturday. To make things more challenging, Ainsley's Anma and PawPaw will be in attendance this Saturday morning to see their little grandgirl take the pitch, or FIELD for all of you soccer novices (HEY! I'm no warm body type of peewee coach.......I study futbol history. And my wife/team manager also helps by keeping up to date with everything David Beckham....so dreamy!) Offensive drills seem too mundane for this crew of GOal getters. So I think we'll focus on the art of taking the opponent down with a combination of momentum, timing and four year old legs. You know! Let those other little girls in ribbons taste some turf. We may have scored 20 against the dolphins, but we gave up nearly 10. That's gotta stop before the 2016 World Cup.

And......back to (American) football. Some interesting articles seen 'round the net and in my driveway since we last talked. Probably my favorite was this one on Knowshon Moreno. Prior to the season I recall debating with Mr. Boston himself, Joe Luskus, on the likelihood that 24 would return for his redshirt junior season. His main point was that with all the talk this season of national championships and #1 rankings, really next season should be the season things really line up for the Dawgs. Two wild cards though...... Stafford and Moreno are both eligible to depart if they so desire. When the debate turned to Moreno, I was on the side on the fence that said he would not return in 09-10, assuming he had the kind of RS Soph season he had as a freshman. It's a lot easier for a running back to jump to the pros early and make a difference. And with another stellar season, it would seem a surety that Knowshon would be a top 10 pick, easy! Joe called me a dumbass - which is his soft-hearted way of saying Knowshon wants his degree and is on track for finishing after next year. Mr. Hummer's story seems to support that side of the fence.


In a separate conversation with Mr. Boston, he seemed cautioned that although the vOwels are lower than low, they always play TOUGH in the trenches. And......that's an area that didn't go so well with the last team we played. Fulmer may have trouble finding his whistle underneath all of the chicken bones (they really just write themselves folks....), but his linemen play a physical brand of football on both sides of the line. I've been able to see them play some and it seems like the reason for the record has more to do with their lack of difference makers. But the big guy is not worried about his quarterback, at least he's not mentioning it to the media.


And for all of you Erk fans, here's a piece on another Georgia legend now leading the Longhorn defense. Although Will Muschamp never played under Coach Russell, it seems the former D captain and four year letterman may have developed a knack for bleeding on the sidelines, just without the pounding headache from cracking his skull against a defensive lineman's helmet.


Trivia sponsored by Conner was, as it turned out, incredibly easy. I tried to discipline her for not putting her full effort into the task. She responded by saying, "Daddy!...you wrote that." Touche' my favorite first grader. TOUCHE'!! Things won't be so simple this week though, just a word of caution.........stay tuned.


Chris Nama elected not to take his lovely wife Christine to Krystal for their 10th Anniversary. It turned out to be the second best decision he made last week. He correctly determined that all four of the UGA retired jerseys belonged to running backs. Conner is tricky, just not tricky enough for our camel loving friend from Marist. Nama will receive a bonus this week for also listing the Legends' numbers, position and year retired. And then without missing a beat listed the jerseys Kiante Tripp has worn in his time at UGA. Incredible! Don't eat all of those cheese doodles in one sitting my friend.

Coming events: Friday's Blawg will contain an in depth analysis of the match up 'tween the hedges this weekend as the tick infested hounds stumble south for what has become an annual butt-kicking of our beloved Dawgs. Indeed...the last two years have been atrocious, but will this year's meeting end with a different result? You'll find the answer to that question and MORE, right here at Bernie's Dawg Blawg!!

To the bright side of the road......

Has anyone noticed that the Dawgs have not been penalized ONCE since Bama left town?

 YIPPEE!

We've trudged through a week after leaving Sanford with what amounted to very little dignity between ourselves and the other 90+ thousand fans. It has been difficult, but life has moved. I tried calling in indiferrent on Monday morning and my boss said I was as pitiful as one of Mimbs' punts on Saturday night. I was at my desk fifteen minutes later. 

The Dawgs still have all of their preseason goals at hand.....just a little out of reach at the moment. As we move from the darkened streets outside of the stadium last Saturday night to the well lit landscape that is college football in early October, we are reminded that it is wise to focus on the teams that stand in the way of a division title. We're 4-1 overall, 1-1 in the SEC, but we're 1-0 in the East. And.........exhale! Ahhhhhh! I told you that glass was half full.

But before we leave the national picture on the wall until later in the semester, I mean season.............ESPN.com published a Mock BCS Standings this week. If you're like me, you find these things interesting to look at and maybe even analyze if it "catches your fancy" that much. But I always come back to the issue of preseason polls. They're a joke! Why do we even have polls before the middle of October anyway? Around the time of summer two-a-days some coaches and media nerds (sorry Mr. Poindexter....) decide who are the best 25 teams in D1 football. Their decisions are based subjectively on who the teams have returning, which key players have been arrested over the summer and thus suspended for any crucial games, what the team's recruiting class looked like and how many times the coaches' faces have been on the ESPN family of networks since early January. It's like trying to decide which lane to sit in on the connector at 5:15pm in downtown Atlanta. Logic says the lane closest to HOV, cuz it's fast and sexy! But there are fewer (get ready!....subtle analogy to a difficult SEC schedule coming...) tractor trailers in that middle lane. And maybe you don't have a passenger beside you who can allow you to take the Pac-10 lane.......(ahem!).........HOV lane outright. Whatever the choice(s), you just sit there........

......waiting for the picture to clear up.

Anyway we're 7th in case you're interested enough, but not so much that you wanna follow the link. And while we're offering the loyal BDB readers links into cyber space here's one spirited blog from the junkyard. It takes a harsh look at some of the coaching decisions and inaction both leading up to and during the game against the Tide.

At press time, the team is heading their separate ways for a couple of days in search of some R&R. Below you'll find a sign up sheet for volunteers willing to work the downtown Athens area between the hours of 11:00pm and 4am this weekend. Don't want to lose any starters for the Tennessee game to those vindictive Athens-Clarke popo officers! The break does come at a good time as we are still licking our wounds from that.......nevermind.......we've put that memory to bed.....We're hurt! So bad that Kiante has just fashioned his 6th (you read right!)....SIXTH number as a UGA football player. He is off the O line and now is a tight end. In other roster 

moves, Hairy will take a turn on the leash next Saturday and UGA VII leading the band in hopes of stirring up some good JuJu.

I'm really anxious to see our intensity level against the Volunteers. Given the results the last two years and especially the showing against Bama, we should be ready to knock them in the teeth (the players mind you. If I had been referring to the UT fans collectively, I would have used the noun tooth, sing.) The previous two meetings for the Tennessee offense have been like Fulmer's visits to Golden Corral - a smorgasbord of gluttony that leaves nothing but cracked, slightly chewed bones and indigestion in its wake.

After that things really get tough. Vandy, Baton Rouge, Border War that is now an alcohol free event, the WarTigers, Wildkittens and back home for Georgia Yech! Yup, there are no easy wins left shoppers! Please check back next September when we go to Fayetteville to see Coach Petrino's successor, who should be introduced in the coming weeks once Petrino leaves the Razorback Nation for the Oakland Raiders.

Back on task..........the national (and some local) media is trying to "determine" the odds of UGA running the table the rest of the way. I refuse to lead my loyal reader (sing.) down that confusing path. Keep it simple Dumbass, or something like that. The East is the prize that we still have some control over, so let's take a look: 

• Florida looks vulnerable at this point but has a few weeks to step out of the soiled jean shorts and find another pair before they play us. 
  
• Tennessee really rallied for their great big pumpkin last year. However, they've started off much worse this year. Yes, things are interesting up in Knoxville. 
  
• Kentucky I have yet to see. From what I've read they sound improved on defense and surprisingly capable on offense. Maybe I'll catch their game against the Sabanites this weekend since I'm "off". 
  
• And Vanderbilt.....never an easy out and this year they look much better than last year. And what happened last year??? Oh! That's right, they had their cleats on our throats when Gamble forced that fumble. Coutu kicks it through and then hurries home to find his home burglarized. Rough night. This year could be worse....

According to the BDB Legal Department, the bylaws state that there are to be no shout-outs after a loss, only suspensions. I lobbied for one collective shout-out for the team for just coming back onto the field after halftime and the fans for staying beyond the opening drive, but to no avail. Evidently BDB budget could not withstand any potential legal action.

First suspension - the bama fan who knocked over Papa Nama's coke for not owning up to it. Now I've spilt my share of drinks in section 327 and I certainly know the punishment for such a transgression can be severe. But be a man!

Second - Defensive coordinator Willie Martinez, cuz Jennifer said so! Be a man! BLITZ!!

And lastly - while we're dishing on coordinators, Mike Bobo. Get the play in so Stafford can have some time to read the defense and work his magic!!!

......Ok, one more. I'm on a roll. Channel 2, Chuck Dowdle, Mark Richt....whoever changed the format of the Mark Richt Show.....it sucks! I like the new set, but I wanna see some plays as you talk about the game. Watching Dowdle ask questions and CMR answer them is like watching Tech play Duke; only entertaining if there's nothing else on.

Trivia this week brought to you by -Conner

Conner wants to know: Daddy mentioned Kiante changed jersey numbers. UGA has 4 retired jerseys in football. How many were NOT running backs?   First correct COMMENT wins.

Have fun twiddling your thumbs this weekend. Stay outta trouble and show up next week ready for a visit from the great big pumpkin!

Bernie

From the dark end of the street......

September 12th, 2008, and I quote:

So....we go to Columbia, then Tempe before coming back home for Bama. Based on what I've seen so far, we'll have a loss before we get to our bye week. Profetic, albeit innocuous, words from your favorite blawgger. Forgetting my prognosis just 15 days prior, at approximately 1:30pm Saturday I turned to my wife and asked her, "What is the best thing to come out of Alabama?" She grinned and prompted me to finish the old joke. "I-20." (Bah-Dum-Bum!)

Turns out I was wrong. Woefully wrong.

We woke up Sunday morning with reality staring us back in the mirror. We had gone to bed the night before hoping she would disappear into the late night shadows, proving that what we had just witnessed was a nightmare. But there she was with that subtle smirk, as if to say, "I told you so."

I drove my girls to church hoping the sermon would bring a better outlook than the eulogy given 'tween the hedges Saturday night. To set the tone for an uplifting beautiful fall day, I popped in some Van Morrison and turned up the volume a little. We sang. Especially Ainsley once we got to the 6th track, "Brown Eyed Girl". It's her favorite. Wonder why?

It used to be a loss like Saturday's would ruin my weekend. The scowl would last well into the next work week. But you can learn a lot from your kids. Whether you see it as they haven't yet learned the importance of college football in the south or that they just live in the now without the burden of being strapped to the misery of things that happen on the gridiron, you can learn a lot from them. So, like a street rat following the Pied Piper I fell in line behind Conner and Ainsley and began a routine that I was sure would bring not only solace, but answers. 

There are sooooo many questions though.....

On the plus side my Tivo got the afternoon off and quickly breathed a deep sigh of relief. It has been crazy tired from all of the Sunday afternoon rewinding (blip, blip!) and pausing and fast-forwarding (blip, blip!!). Digital video evidence of the whoopin' was deleted prior to going to bed Saturday night. I feared that keeping it on my "List" would only haunt me through the night.

Let's start with the good news.......(chirp!....chirp!) ........uhhh.........(chirp!).......umm....... the fans looked great!

Now let's plow through the bad. Strap up your boots! Penalties, poor tackling, poor play-calling, defense playing on their heels, penalties, poor game planning, some Bama fan spilled Papa Nama's coke, penalties, outclassed and out coached. Ugh! That was painfully cathartic! I'm not gonna dwell on each of these issues cuz I would be up all night and it would just be pouring salt into our wounds. 

But the penalties finally factored heavily into the equation that tipped the balance in the opponents favor. On the way home Jenn and I discussed the penalties, among other things. She challenged me that we had been this bad in the yellow flag area last year. I didn't remember it that way. So Sunday afternoon I decided to pay a little overtime to the BDB research staff and have them run the numbers. Senior BDB Data Consultant, Louis Poindexter, tells me the rankings are based on the number of penalties, not the yards.

2008 53 penalties for 437yds W-O-R-S-T ???????

2007 91 penalties for 760yds tied for 26th worst 11-2, 6-2

2006 78 penalties for 611yds tied for 41st 9-4, 4-4

2005 77 penalties for 697yds tied for 55th 10-3, 6-2

2004 94 penalties for 795yds 17th 10-2, 6-2

2003 119 penalties for 1032yds 5th 11-3, 6-3

2002 101 penalties for 879yds tied for 25th 13-1, 8-1

Miscellaneous: 

On a lighter note, Advisor Poindexter also tells me that the Dawgs are 101-3 against the Bye week in the school's history. There's something strange about the way he chuckled though as he clocked out this afternoon.....

On an even lighter note, Jenn and I faired pretty well as cornhole partners at the tailgate. Maybe now she'll join me as a tennis partner and put our undefeated (1-0) record to the test.....

Many apologies to frequent BDB reader, Chris "Jovi Rules" Nama. He won last week's trivia contest outright (sorry honey!.....) and BDB's editorial staff failed to catch that it was not mentioned in Friday's weekly prediction blog. Mr. Nama correctly recalled that Munson's famous "Hobnail Boot" call was the result of the play "P-44 Haynes". Well done Nama. Please follow the link below to claim your year's supply of Fat Tire brew!! And enjoy your VIP subscribership!

www.wemakecrappywarmbeerforyoutoleaveonthetable.com

Chins up Dawg fans. The sun has risen and College Gameday has left town. The memories will continue to frustrate us, but there are worse things that can happen to a team than losing to a quality opponent in September. And if you're like me you are looking forward to the weekend off. We can all breathe a deep breath. Friday's prediction blog will be replaced by a look at what's ahead for our Dawgs as we approach the halfway point in the season.

"Little baby take my hand, you can help me share this load......." 

Have a great week everyone.

Bernie