Baddest girl on campus

If you haven't already, meet Shelby Saponari. 

“She’s a really good player, a good skater,” said Gus Saponari, who also coached her on girls select teams. “She’s a head’s-up player. If you keep your head up, you can avoid some big hits.”

And deliver them. In her Ice Dogs debut, Shelby gave a hip check to a Gator that announced her arrival.

“He went flying,” she recalled. “I didn’t see how big of a hit it was. I heard how big it was. The whole crowd went crazy.”

Hockey wasn't available for me as a sport back in my formative years. But if it were, and it offered a chance to play with badass girls AND a chance to hip check gators, well, I would've given it a shot.

Lady Dawgs chop down Stanford

This is a great group of seniors intermixed with talented freshmen. And last night they played with all heart, defeating top seed Stanford 61-59 despite a slow start and great shooting by the Trees Cardinal.

Georgia overcame three major scoring droughts, including falling behind 9-0 to start the game, to oust the No. 1 seed from the Spokane Regional and end Stanford’s hopes of reaching the Final Four for the sixth straight year.

Jasmine James led Georgia (28-6) with 16 points, including a pair of free throws with 23.5 seconds left that gave the Lady Bulldogs a 60-56 lead. It’s the 11th trip to the regional finals for coach Andy Landers in his long tenure at Georgia.

Next objective: Monday at 9:40 vs. Cal-LSU winner for a chance at the Final Four. Go Dawgs!

Monday's Meatloaf - plugged back in

Getting my land legs back under me. It was really nice to get away, but the pile of junk on the desk only got exponentially bigger last week.

Of course at first the feeling of not being able to access internets, phone service and twitters was a little weird. But it didn't take long to just take a deep breath and use the iPhone as a paper weight...for all the receipts being charged to the room.

Sloth like Cecilth. Verry much likes CeCILLLLsth!!!1

Seriously, one bottle of bourbon listerine smuggled onto a ship isn't enough for even a two day cruise. Luckily our waiter knew exactly what we wanted as soon as we walked into the dining room. And Antonius will keep bringing the double Makers and ginger ale as long as you keep raising your hand. Which was a lot, and very necessary.  Especially to put up with some of the crazy characters they force you to eat with while floating along. Ol' DeWayne paid a pretty penny to get on the boat with his common law wife and spend five days trying to pick up Nascar from his cabin television. (A much prettier penny than he used to get those caps on his teeth...from his dental buddy's basement...just a guess...)

But DeWayne was easy to deal with compared to the Abuurn mouth breather that insisted Gene Chizzy could coach circles around Richt all day long. Plus he continually insisted we should have spiked the ball because he knows a ton of shit about football and wants to dump it all in my ear!! OMG dude. Go back and sit with your lovely girlfriend that somehow goes out in public with you while you sport a third grade education and only basic mastery of the English language.

Coach Ricktz nice guy and (blah blah blah) and Cecil Newton [insert ambiguous NCAA reference] and spikes the ball...BLAH BLAH BLAH!! Ugh. Plus all the spittle and violations of personal space. It was all I could do to keep Mrs. Bernie from kicking him in the Eric Ramseys and punching him in the Pat Dye.

Today's Ingredients
- For you beer drinkers, be sure and check out Kyle's recap of another event I swam through while away, Brewvival. Always a great beer festival. Always.
- Did you watch last night's SEC Storied? It's the one that covers the 2008 SEC Tornado Tournament. It was a great hour of reminiscing the craziness as well as some behind the scenes commentary on how they managed the whole thing.
- And Kevin noticed something I failed to while watching: the Miracle 3 episode of the series was dedicated to Kevin Brophy, former UGA player that died in a 2006 car crash. Nice touch. Very nice.
- Lots of news in UGA Athletics. Let's start on the hardwood where the men took down Tennessee much quicker than a bare-chested Bruce Pearl could.
- And Tyler wants the students to act like they've been there before.
- On the Lady's side, they (mostly) eased through their Senior Day tilt with Vanderbilt and now head to Duluth GA for the SEC Tourney. First round bye means they play on Friday night against the Auburn/LSU winner.
- Tickets for the women's tournament games can be purchased here.
- Perno's Diamond Dawgs swept UAB over the weekend, out-scoring the Blazers 33-6. They host Western Carolina Wednesday and Liberty this weekend.
- Of course the best way to get the scoop on what's happening in UGA Athletics is from NCT's Beyond the Hedges. Here's the latest edition.
- In case you missed it, Mr. Sanchez runs down what Richt and staff will need in the 2014 class.
- Speaking of which, in today's LHB recruiting thread BigRedBaller has film of the tall kid that spent time with Coach Richt at Saturday's practice.
- Lastly, would you like a copy of Bob Knight's new book...for free? The Lady Sportswriter might just have you covered.

So back in the saddle now. I'll have you covered without much interruption, at least for another three months when another paradise calls. Until then let's enjoy some of the finer moments Gene Chizik provided the Deep South's Oldest Rivalry.



Hey WarDamnSlothTiglesman...83 - 7!! EIGHTY-THREE to seven bitch!

Bernie

Monday's Meatloaf - Law and Order: rinse and spit edition

How many times have you been casually going through your daily motions and you wonder silently or aloud (depending on your own personal level of delirium), "How exactly would one come in contact with a dentist who murders people on the side?" Well, here's how.

And this part of the dentist drama murder mystery you just can't get from the book, the made for tv movie or the Dateline special that aired. Long time ago the wife and I were newly married and newly relocated to Atlanta-Surburbia. We were gainfully employed and one of the fringe benefits of such a status is of course, dental insurance. We found a guy with a practice nearby, made appointments. And as our dumb, shitty luck would have it, Dr. Corbin never even mentioned that he had long ago murdered his girlfriend while in dental school.

Corbin, seen here in retirment.

Understand, I'm not passing judgment here. The guy's on death row serving a life lengthy sentence. He's up to his top bunk mattress in judgment. And Lord knows I've never been in dental school while trying to maintain a relationship with a classmate. So I cannot speak to the unfathomable pressures that such a lot in life could entail. I'm merely explaining that Mrs. Bernie and I were never afforded the opportunity to comprehend the fact that the same hands that were grasping sharp instruments in and around our bicuspids were also the ones that pointed the gun carefully in such a way that the murder would appear as a suicide.

Moving on, as you have surely gathered by now, Corbin escaped Richmond County under a cloud of scrutiny and set up shop in Duluth GA so that he could put his murderous hands inside my mouth. (BTW, what does this have to do with Georgia football? Well, Corbin walked on to the team in the early 1980s with his twin brother. He had team pictures hanging in the waiting area but never spoke too highly of Dooley. Maybe Vince didn't floss much. I don't know that part.) Visits were never comfortable or easy, and I mean beyond the usual tension one feels at the dentist. Hygienists were always on edge, the secretary rarely answered the phone and Corbin grunted a lot. I think he used too much deer antler spray. But that's just a theory.

Things seemed stable, the guy even moved his practice into a nicer facility closer to where we lived. Even so, we moved our dental business in a different direction because Mrs. Bernie could never make an appointment for us as the secretary never answered the phone. Turns out she was fiddling around with Corbin's tools if you know what I mean. That's a theory too, but it's founded in the fact that the secretary was driving the getaway car when they nabbed him for killing his wife in the same way he had killed Dolly Hearn some 14 years earlier.

So how does this relate to the funny story I promised a few weeks ago on Gwinnett County Sheriff Butch Conway? Stay tuned.

Today's Ingredients
- Let's start off with some 'cruitin' stuff. Could Georgia nab Bama commit Tyren Jones late? ecdawg looks at some of the kid's highlights.
- Speaking of Jones, he was involved in some sort of fracas Friday night and will have surgery on his jaw today.
- Lady Sportswriter updates us on Davin Bellamy's recruitment.
- Emerson is listing the top recruits of the last decade for Georgia .
- Mat drills are back! Which means 30 days of reading tweets about the players throwing up!
- Nice road win for the Lady Dawgs yesterday in Lexington.
- And Kyle King points out that the Gym Dogs took down a big rival at Stegeman Saturday night.
- After a three game winning streak, Tyler is still cautious to say the least. And he points out why Tennessee on Wednesday will be a bigger test.
- Dexter Morant has left the football team "due to academic considerations".
- If you had not already heard, Richt went ahead and had his hip surgery Saturday. As for the NSD press conference on Wednesday, Felton says he's day to day.
- Lastly, have you seen the rare gem Garbin gave us yesterday?

So Corbin is awaiting trial in jail, where he will eventually plead guilty to two murders in exchange for a needle free end to his existence, and along comes this rich kid that steals a jet in Jacksonville FL to take some buddies on a drunken joyride. They land at Briscoe airfield in Gwinnett County and he's arrested like the little punk that he is.

Sheriff Conway, known to kill two
birds with one stone.

Should've been case closed. But the bond is pretty steep on that kind of thing, so for kicks and giggles the dad starts a war of words when his poor little pipsqueak has some problems with his gums (presumably from drinking too many Bartles & Jaymes at high altitudes, but likely from having just had his wisdom teeth out). The media took it and ran - Dad is throwing big words around and making accusations of mal-treatment in Butch Conway's jail.

Oh. Hell. Naw. Butch took the high road as long as he could from what I recall. But when he'd had enough he'd had enough. Reporters asked for a response and he gave them one. Let me paraphrase:

"Sheriff Conway, the defendant's daddy says his little boy needs his teeth flossed and cared for before getting to pick a toy from the treasure chest in the waiting area."

"Well, we happen to have a former dentist in residence. Perhaps they can be bunkmates."

Sweet Jesus. Where can I cast my eternal vote for this man? The casualness with which he says "Sit down mothereffer. Maybe that's how things are done in St. Augustine, but this here's Georgia. If your boy hadn't landed his gingivitis onto our airfield we wouldn't even know each other's names. So either make bond for the twerp or shut the hell up. I don't give a damn."

I'm not sure whatever happened to the jet setter Daniel Andrew Wolcott. But I'm not willing to go to those lengths just to get an appointment with Dr. Barton Corbin. Here's your fork Reader. Floss afterwards at your own leisure.

Bernie

Monday's Meatloaf - a Pepertual round Tuit

One of these days will be here one of these days, so why not now?

It's one thing to make accommodations for the pile of clothes we left on the floor, the one we continue to step around and over. Not to mention that broken mailbox, the toilet that always needs the handle jiggled and that deck board that needs to be tightened down. But what about real, daily interactions that always get the back burner? The phone calls and visits that get pushed back simply because we ran out of time before we laid our head down?

Wear it wisely, or
hide it carefully.

When I was a kid I remember finding a round, yellow button in my dad's tool box. On it was just four letters - TUIT. I'd seen it a thousands times probably, but one day decided I'd finally ask him what the heck it meant. I guess part of the reason I waited so long to ask was that I had this funny feeling that it might be something dirty or inappropriate.

Turns out it wasn't. Just palpable procrastination. "Oh that," Dad said. "That's for when I need to get around to it." He paused before checking to see if the humor had set in. It hadn't yet, but when it finally did I chuckled and wondered if mom knew he was hiding his round "tuit" somewhere she would never look.

Which proves that while we are the weaker sex, men can win a battle from time to time. But that's a lesson for another day. For today I'm giving each of you a round Tuit. Use it often and by all means use it wisely. And when not in use, hide it somewhere safe.

You're welcome.

Today's Ingredients
- First off, if you comment on the blog you should find that easier to do now. Especially if you use a mobile device. For some reason those weren't always posting, but I think I've got it ironed out now. Just click on Glory Glorys link once it loads. Your patience has been appreciated.
- The Lady Dogs won a defensive battle at Stegeman yesterday over South Carolina.
- But the men's team continues to find new levels of disappointment.
- In that regard, Tyler sees history repeating itself. Ugh. Truth cuts like a knife.
- Also, here's hoopdawg's reaction and roundup from the o-2 conference start. And evidently Daugman couldn't even watch.
- In the wake of the news that the Hokies courted Bobo, McGarity explained to Weiszer what the timeline will be for any assistants' raises.
- The Lady Sportswriter has the latest news on safety recruit Shaq Fluker.
- Great stuff from Emerson on Blair Walsh's turn around this season, all the way to the record books and the NFL Pro Bowl. And also catch this piece where Walsh says he'd be happy to talk to Coach Richt about how a special teams coach may or may not have helped.
- Lastly, happy belated birthday to friend of the blog, David Hale. Sorry we forgot.

Are you like me in that you get daily updates on who has been arrested in your zip code? Our county sheriff sends them to me via email each morning. (Speaking of Sheriff Conway, remind me to tell you about the time he used a dentist on trial for murder to shut a pesky parent up. If you live in Gwinnett, you already have a jump start on next week's meatloaf.) I originally signed up for this notification service to keep track of my sketchy neighbors potential dangers to my home and family. But it also provides occasional entertainment.

The hands of pepertuality.

And that is how I came to know of a young lady named Pepertual. Somewhere and sometime after MTv decided to change from a music video channel to a "reality tv" smorgasbord of loose morals and instant gratification (GET OFF MY LAWN!!) parents also started using their children's names as expressions of free speech and ways of hoarding attention. Sally became Shitheadra and Billy became HaHa Clinton Dix. And of course Earlene Jo Betty Mae became Honey Boo-Boo.

So Pepertual's parents never sniffed the first round of their 3rd grade spelling bee, but they still had a feeling that their darling daughter would gangsta hard 4ever. Perpetually you might say. Or maybe their aspirations were higher than that, believing that she would one day star on a season of "Real Housewives of Badderyless Watches" as the one that steals the completely organic scenes involving reckless driving of an electric vehicle and terroristic acts of endless identity theft. We know unique names on shows of that nature are more likely to spike the ratings, which in turn leads to B movie roles, nail polish endorsement deal$ and their own Wiki page.

Of course, now I realize that with a name that is attached to the likes of Madoff and Ebbers I have little room to cast stones at Ms. Pepertual. If I were a lawyer I'd represent her pro bono...once I got a round tuit of course.

Go have a Monday Reader. Stop perpetually slacking off.

Bernie

Monday's Meatloaf - Grizzard gives Gollum a riddle

The prophet Lewis Grizzard once said, “Will we one day get all our news from a computerized version of a newspaper, or radio or television?” Given that Aaron Murray chose social media via a computer or handheld device to make his big announcement last night, I believe this furthers the argument that Mr. Grizzard was some sort of deep fried, buttered down, sweet tea Southern prophet.

There's a peacefulness that I end each and every day with as I bend over each of my darlings and kiss their little foreheads while they sleep. It's a moment that makes me feel young and old at the same time: young in that it gives me hope and warmth to end the long day and look forward to the next, and old in that their bed gets a little smaller each night that I creep in.

Grizzard shown here with Twitter's
first prototype.

The best days are every day my friend. And so it's not lost on me that I used to start each day with some peacefulness as well. Before kids my world was much different, and the world as a whole was much different. A few weeks ago it was announced that yet another paper press would come to a halt. Forever. I'm not an avid reader of The Sporting News, but it seems like every week another newspaper ceases to exist, at least in its original form.

And when this news crosses my Twitter timeline, or is a small bullet on the side margin of a website I've navigated to, or reaches my electronic mail inbox somehow, I recall a time when I would start each day by walking to the end of the driveway, picking up the paper, retreating to a comfortable spot on my sofa, and reading it. I would start with the Sports section. And in the quiet of the early morning, before the world was graced with another sunrise and the only two people awake were myself and the delivery person, I would digest everything I both needed and wanted from this disposable news capsule. Then I would drive off to start my day with all of the knowledge I needed...until the next morning.

If the delivery person was late there was hell to pay. How dare the AJC force me to go into work less prepared to discuss these new fangled BCS standings than my colleagues. If I didn't know the latest names involved in the search to replace Steve Spurrier at Florida just because someone didn't double bag it on a rainy morning it was like going into the office half dressed. I felt vulnerable, exposed as an uninformed fraud.

Then slowly the news that hit the driveway was hours old before the words that echoed it were even printed. Eventually it became an easy decision to stop going through that motion each morning. The money we saved from canceling the subscription was probably used to fund half of our newborn's monthly diaper allowance. (Insert your own Atlanta Journal & Constipation joke there I guess.)

Part of this eventuality, this foreseeable certainty where every printed form of news goes the way of the dodo bird, gives me pause and forces me to reflect upon a simpler time. Especially during the holidays when I could turn on the Christmas tree and read about how my Dawgs had dismantled the Arkansas Razorbacks for the SEC Championship in the stillness of the early morning. But I'll trade that in for a quick check on the Twitter news feed and an opportunity to tuck my girls in any day.

The more things change, the older I get. And the closer their little toes get to the foot board. 

Today's Ingredients

- Could a Georgia quarterback transfer as a result of Murray returning for his senior season? Lady Sportswriter has an in depth look at where things are, and ecdawg also looks at the logjam at the position.

- hoopdawg looks at the hardwoord win over our nation's first president the other night.

- The Lady Dawgs couldn't withstand a second half surge up in Knoxville.

- Groo has a interesting (to say the least) look at where the running back situation stands today as opposed to last summer.

- Blutarsky wonders if the Big 12 is putting their playoff cart before the regular season horse.

- A lot of BCS stuff: Spencer Hall has a pictorial look at some Tuscaloosa SEC pride; Looks like Mr. Sanchez is watching tonight's college football season finale with Touchdown Jesus. Meanwhile, Tyler takes a look at the game with this preview.

- Most importantly, Kegs 'n Eggs has your 2013 BCS National Championship Drinking Game. Cheers y'all!

- True, hard to believe Chip Kelly turned down the NFL. But cocknfire points out the ways in which it is good for college football.

- Lastly, let this slip for a few weeks, but it is time to congratulate The Country Club at the Highlands for their work in kicking cancer's ass. If you're in the Richmond area you might be familiar with the VCU Massey Cancer Center. Good people, doing great things.

Filthy little Bagginses!

Is anything timeless any longer? If newspapers can stop pressing, is there anything that can't fall victim to Time's persistence?  As Gollum once riddled Bilbo:

This thing all things devours:
Birds, beasts, trees, flowers;
Gnaws iron, bites steel;
Grinds hard stones to meal;
Slays king, ruins town,
And beats high mountain down.

It is the conqueror of all. We all have felt that adolescent feeling of invincibility at a period in our development. Hell, I still feel it from time to time: my hair will never turn gray...oops!...I can play a game of two hand touch with the kids without spraining something...ouch!...Tech never beats Georgia...(waiting...) Well there was that time Jasper's knee was down so they cheated...

But I digress. All good things must come to an end. Whether it is the day as I place that kiss on their foreheads, or a Georgia football season that seemed lost but then was found. We just keep plodding through this thing called life. You can find me there anytime, right in between that bowl of buttered grits and that next glass of sweet tea. Just as our prophet once predicted.

Have a Monday Reader! And don't let Touchdown Jesus keep you up too late. Because news will break early tomorrow (probably via social media) that Saban is taking Frumpy's place. You don't want to miss that!

Bernie

Monday's Meatloaf - a local cougar brings Festivus Miracle!

Festivus has begun. I wasn't completely sure until I saw so many grievances being aired last night during the utter bullshit BCS show. I had come to accept the fact that we would be left out in the cold long before, but when I saw the matchups I really wanted to rain blows upon someone.

But I sense that we really need to move forward y'all. So this post is designed to be light, if not mildly entertaining and high in good things like sodium, random acts of curbside kindness and some trans fats. With all that being said...I don't like to brag, but...

Hot pickles, sexy sammich

When you have a birthday AND get your order in the Chick-Fil-A drive thru paid for by a hot cougar nice lady who has a clear, unobstructed rearview mirror, well...you know you're living right. Truthfully, I guess it's possible my mysterious lunch time "fan" was impressed as much by my Georgia vanity plate as my easy-on-the-eyes demeanor. After all, it was SEC Championship week and she couldn't have been a Tech grad, being a female and all. But hey, who're we kidding. The good Lord has blessed me with a lot more than a functioning keyboard and Blogger login credentials if you know what I mean.

And the dude at the window with the headset was just as taken aback as I was. Each time I insisted on paying him for my meal he just shook his head and said "She wants to provide you with a meal that's just as hot and made to order as you are."..."The lady in front of you already paid for your lunch sir."

What do you do at that point? Catch up to her car, force her to roll down the window and throw a wadded up $5 bill at her? Hire a private eye to check her license plate for any prior unsolicited acts of kindness? Get back in line so that you can pay it forward to that creepy guy in the royal blue Miata?

No, I just honked, waved and rushed home to tell the wife what had happened. After all, she needs to be reminded of the treasure that she has in her husband. I just wish I had ordered that peppermint chocolate chip milkshake. Mrs. Bernie loves those things.

Today's Ingredients
- So...did anyone have any more questions for Coach Richt?
- If you missed it earlier, the Huskers are already spitting kernels at us.
- Over at The Grit Tree Lugnut is working through the stages of disappointment like the rest of us.
- Nice to see Georgia fans aren't the only ones supporting Richt in defending his players.
- And if you're looking for a few rational thoughts on the "non-spike controversy", Chris Brown's write up is as thorough as they come.
- Surprisingly, Spurrier chimes in from his usual December armchair and disagrees with Richt.
- Groo has no regrets. But he does have a video of the team returning to hundreds of gracious students.
- The Lady Dawgs disposed of Tech on the hardwood yesterday.
- Have you "liked" the Herschel's Famous 34 Pub and Grill's BookFace page yet? If not, I urge you not to piss him off.
- Whoa. LA Tech thought there was a limo outside when they left the Independence Bowl at the alter.
- In the latest Curious Index, Run Home Jack might have an explanation for Bielema's recent weight gain.
- Lastly, isn't it about time the SEC seriously considered just seceding from the NCAA altogether? At least in football? Some of you lawyers out there need to work up a petition or something. That game in the Dome WAS the national championship game. At least in my mind.

So it's time to get the pole out of the crawl space. Festivus4theDawgNus is currently being prepped for its third annual run. AND THIS YEAR THERE'S AN ACTUAL PRIZE!!! No "fake donuts" this time around. Winner gets a bonafide Festivus t-shirt shipped right to your door. All you have to do is outscore everyone else at the table. More details will be forthcoming on Wednesday. For now, consider these rules carefully:

• watching every bowl game is neither necessary nor encouraged
• no bonus points can be awarded showing Mark May your feats of strength
• t-shirt does not come in Charlie Weis' size, which gives this pool a decided schematic advantage
• be careful with the lighting on the porch
• a perfect score for all 837 bowl games gets your name in the Bernie's Dawg Blawg banner for a whole week as well as a replica of Kruger's flask
• tinsel is strictly prohibited

So come back in a couple days and we'll kick this thing off in earnest. The bowls may be loaded with stale, distasteful matchups but that doesn't mean we can't make the most of them.

Have a great week Reader. And if you're behind me at Chick-Fil-A one day soon and find the super awesome blogger in the car in front of you paid for you to Eat Mor Chikin, don't read too much into it.

Bernie

Coach Landers in Destin

Coach Landers talks about the upcoming season and his time at UGA.

Monday's Meatloaf - Go Greyhound...once

I've aired some dirty family laundry in the past. I guess I'll throw some more out today. When you're the red and black sheep of the family, it's what's expected right? As a kid I spent many hours watching the trees pass by my car window. Mainly along Highway 78 down to I-20, and then on Highway 278 outside of Augusta as we went to my maternal grandmother's house in the South Carolina low country. It was a time for some intense reflection on life during an era of such national headlines as Watergate, the Iran hostage crisis and whether cherry or raspberry was the best Jolly Rancher flavor. 

One trip however was put into crisis mode when the family car, a blue 2-door Opel (still the best car Dad ever purchased while wearing sideburns) was in the shop. For you young whippersnappers, this was before Enterprise and Avis car rentals. It was even before OJ Simpson hurdled and flew through airports. We couldn't forgo a delicious bowl of my grandmother's hambone soup, just over some timing belt being shipped in from wherever the hell Opel's were made. So we went Greyhound: a non-stop trip from downtown Athens to Augusta where my loving grandmother would pick us up in her fully functioning 1967 Chevelle. Seamless transition right?


Not exactly. What follows are the facts as best my aging brain can recall them. My mom, little brother and myself crammed into two seats on the bus and I took the window seat so I could count the usual pines and oaks. The bus itself wasn't full, but I was just old enough to pick up the subtle cues from Mom that there were undesirable influences nearby.

Think this, except circa 1979

As in the back, where the "smokers" were confined. When Mom wasn't looking I peaked in between the seats for a glimpse and saw roughly 15-18 disgruntled, tattoed and otherwise dirty malcontents crowded into the eight seats where smoking was permitted. Things went just fine until Jeff had to use the bathroom, as two year olds tend to do about every 30-45 minutes. This general rule especially holds true on a bus where the only "bathroom" is lodged in between a motorcycleless division of Hell's Angels chain smoking filterless Camels and the f-word is the cleanest one in the vocabulary.


What did I do? Offered to take him myself of course. There was a wealth of information back there and I was anxious to get my ears and eyes on it. This was a rare showing of love and appreciation for the little brat that was summarily and immediately dismissed by the only adult on the bus with a full set of teeth. The alternate plan was to have him drop trow right there and piss into a Tommy Tippee cup, standing right there between us in row 8 of a Greyhound bus somewhere southeast of Washington GA. Words could not describe my embarrassment and there were not enough pine trees to divert my attention.  I was horrified as the kid voiced his own surprise and amazement way too loudly. I could even feel the gaze of the bus driver in his oversized rearview mirror. Oh. The. Horror. 


And that is the worst story I've ever heard about a trip on a public bus...until Watts Dantzler boarded one last Thursday. Damn. At least I had trees to occupy my attention. Watts just had lil Meek and someone's grungy Adidas.


Today's Ingredients
- Tennessee avoids a sweep by the Diamond Dawgs thanks to Williams. Everyone altogether now...Stella!!!!
- Here's Ching's baseball week in review.
- Hoop Dawgs looks at the recent schedule while reflecting on this year's tournament teams.
- Isner was not able to overcome Roger Federer yesterday but will still crack the world's top ten this week. Not to mention that he will take home $500K from Indian Wells.
- Lady Dawgs were bounced early in the NCAA Tourney yesterday.
- Weiszer outlines the top five questions entering spring drills.

Hunter Cole, round-tripper

- The writer Dawg fans "loved to hate"...Furman Bisher's passing is one of the many things ecdawg covers in today's Dawg Daily.
- Meanwhile Blutarsky finds a glaring omission in the AJC's obit.
- The next installment of Fletcher Page's Redshirt Diaries looks at Nathan Theus. ($$)
- CCRider's latest blend of politics and Georgia football includes step by step instructions for how to burn one's face.
- Over at College Football Zealots Kevin and his roundtable look at key position battles around the country entering the Spring.
- Lastly, cback tomorrow when David Ching of DawgNation sits down with us to talk about spring practice, which starts tomorrow!!


Took the youngest to Foley Saturday for an afternoon of HillBilly hate. She got to see Hunter Cole blast a pitch over the cedars into the parking lot. She ate a hotdog. And she witnessed a grown vol fan out-jockey a kid for a foul ball before promptly botching the catch. Typical stoopid fan in orange.


The highlight of her trip? Definitely hanging with Brian in the left field lounge and playing catch. She had taken her glove in hopes of catching a stray foul ball, but we evidently chose the wrong seats. Didn't matter much anyway once Uncle Salty gave her one he recovered from Friday night's game. Then they gave her instructions on proper throwing motions and catching technique. She soaked it in like a little sponge and has now added Olympic softball shortstop to her future résumé.


The highlight for me? Cole's homer...until I heard the words "Thanks for bringing me daddy, that was fun" from the backseat as we edged onto South Milledge after the game. She's a great kid. And I'll never let her ride a Greyhound. Which she can thank me for later.


Have a great Monday Reader. And if my mom and little brother are around, be careful before drinking out of a Tommy Tippee cup.


Bernie

On the air with Coach Landers

Coach Landers discusses the Lady Dawgs' season as they head into the SEC Tourney.

Monday's Meatloaf - taking a flying leap

Did you get some Funky Buddha?

It's almost Leap Day. I was just thinking as I type this that there's a LOT of people walking down some red carpet right now I wish would take a long leap on Wednesday. Maybe someone should start a petition that the Oscars are only to be held during a Leap Year. Save us from Hollywood's exercise in self glorification.


Anyway, just a thought. Perhaps I'm in the minority, as I usually am. This will be savory, yet short as I just got back from Charleston. Normally I would forgo the meatloaf prep on a Sunday evening like this, but it was just too great of a weekend to be a Dawg, especially a beer drinking Dawg in the low country of South Carolina.


I had the pleasure of attending Brewvival for the first time. I haven't been to a lot of beer festivals. But I've been to enough to know that it'd be hard to imagine one that is better than the one COAST Brewing and Charleston Beer Exchange put on each February. I'll have my official review up tomorrow. For now suffice to say I was blown away. I was among a record number of craft beer lovers to descend on North Charleston and taste what has to be some of the best brew in America. If there's anything better, it's well hidden.


And you know what goes great with beer, some meatloaf. Here are....

A little TO at the turn...

Today's Ingredients

• It truly was a great weekend for UGA sports. Where to start...??
• How about on the hardcourt with the men's hoops. Coach Fox's Hounds played a complete game and beat Florida 76-62.
• Should you want tickets for the regular season finale against lowly Carolina, you can get them here.
• Staying on the hardwood, Coach Landers' Ladies routed LSU yesterday. Maybe Bubba Watson should lend a hand more often.
• Coach Perno's squad now 7-0 after a weekend sweep of Winthrop.
• Great combine on Saturday it sounds like, especially for a former Dawg. Cordy Glenn's stock is up. Way up.
• In more pro news Weiszer reports that Boykin is setting up for UGA's Pro Day.
• Trinton Sturdivant is moving along. He's landed on his feet more than most while on the gridiron. Here's hoping he does the same in the "real world".
• Lastly, for all of you coffee drinkers that also like to support a red and black cause...how about some Freudian Drip from Jittery Joe's? Portion of the proceeds benefits the UGA Psychology department.

Hailing a cab is always a leap of faith isn't it? We were reminded of this a couple times Saturday as we made our way around Charleston. These guys that drive taxis get a captured audience on a meter and you're either subjected to their semi-amusing ramblings or their "creative route selection". Or both.

Bickle isn't a fan of Oscar either

Even as Scott pulled out his smartphone and checked the direction and "towardance" our middle eastern navigator was using to get us to the Brewvival gates, Punjab was insisting that he was using the best route to  get us to the event asap maximize his earning potential. He gave us his card as we unloaded so we could call when we "are done drinking your beers sir". But somehow I think Ben lost it. Unfortunate.


But the most entertaining ride was Saturday night getting back to the hotel. We crammed into 1995 Saturn owned and operated by "South Carolina's greatest non-matriculator not named Stephen Garcia" and he proceeded to tell us all the Cola bars where he used to score chicks*, especially the artsy bars. I think this dude leaped out of a psych ward sometime in the early 2000s and hasn't taken his lithium since. When I wasn't being force fed visuals of him hitting on chicks with long armpit hair and nose rings I was having visions of him taking us to his van down by the river to show us his collection of navel lint. Yeh, he was that kind of guy.


But he operated his motor vehicle just well enough to get us back to the hotel where Brook just happened to have some more beer. So, win win! And in a sense that allows me this opportunity to remind you that Wednesday is an extra day on the calendar to do so many things. You can start with hating tech, then you can do the world a favor, perhaps you can finish the day off by laughing a little harder at Auburn students' inability to spell. Regardless, fortify yourself with a hearty helping of meatloaf. Here's your fork!


Bernie
*I transcribed Mr. Schizo's loose terms here to keep this post as close to PG or PG-13 as possible.

Lady Dawgs beat LSU

On Senior Day, Coach Landers' Lady Dawgs earned a 3 seed by manhandling LSU in the regular season finale. They'll play next in the quarterfinals of the SEC tourney.

Monday's Meatloaf - Doppler Radars and Grammys Gone Bad

There's snow scheduled for tonight. And when I say the word scheduled what I mean is it is time for the local weather pundits to do their fair share to boost ratings while causing mass hysteria at local Krogers and Publixes across the state.

Snow even makes snowmen suicidal.

I hate snow. I live in Georgia for a reason and that is so I can enjoy some 70 degree afternoons 12 months of the calendar year. Snow is for people who drink "pop" and enjoy Howard Dean screaming. Howard Dean wouldn't know a bowl of grits from a Gallup poll's hard data. But I bet he can shovel a driveway in January.


Mrs. Bernie and I shoveled our driveway last January. I can report that it is good exercise. Other than that I hope to never have to do it again. Aside from the fact that it's cold and labor intensive work, I don't have the all the necessary tools to do it effectively. Namely, an actual snow shovel and clothing suited for sub-freezing temperatures. A transfer shovel and a pair of cold, soggy gloves must suffice. Again, I hate snow.


Back to the weather guys and their stoopid doppler weather crystal balls that can't predict the day of the week much less the amount of snow fall or even if it will actually fall at all. I think they're secretly leftover milk men from the days when milk was delivered door to door. They get a hankerin' every now and again to boost sales so they drop four letter words and malicious phrases like "snow" and "cold front" and "icy conditions".


Bastards. I hope their Valentine gives them a cold kick in the danglies.


Today's Ingredients

KCP coming of age

• Speaking of which, programming note: be sure to tune in tomorrow for our annual last minute Valentine's Day shopping ideas for that special Dawggette in your life.
• Another great win Saturday for the Hoop Dawgs in taking down a ranked Bizzaro dog squad on the road.
• Mr. Sanchez wonders where this team came from. Tyler thinks they were spawned from whatever came from Fox's mouth in Knoxville.
• Last week Coach Fox received a commitment from JJ Frazier of Ludowici GA. From Hedges to Hardwood takes a look at the much needed point guard.
• Interesting post by JHD on what happened with the ones that got away on NSD.
• Out in exile, Toothpick tells us who will eventually succeed Richt as coach at UGA.
• The deadline for Hartman Fund donations is Wednesday. And Garbin gives us a little incentive towards contributing. I mean, you wouldn't want to miss the next time the faculty goes bonkers.
• Hey engiNerds. Some shame dripped into your trombone there. 

Seen here visiting their favorite vacation
spot, Fulton Co Court.

The things I learned from Whitney Houston's life can be summed up as such: 1) I can't sing worth a damn, 2) I shouldn't use crack cuz it's bad for you and can ruin a good career and 3) Bobby Brown is a lot like crack.


As I was forced to watch hours of footage with "reporters" basically saying nothing except that she had passed away, it dawned on me just how much Houston had changed the landscape of how performers approach the singing of our National Anthem. She put that thing on another level. Ever since that 1991 Super Bowl lesser artists have either attempted to recreate that magic or just fallen on their face miserably before even memorizing the lyrics.


That's right, Whitney Houston could defeat flag burning communists too. With her voice, non-violently, with or without a symphony. But now we're forced to wait for the next voice that can transcend all others' talents. Just like her own once illustrious career, Whitney ain't coming back. Instead we're left with journalistic hacks that continually run the same file footage while "trying not to speculate" on the cause of death for this troubled star that had long battled addiction and may have last been seen by her boyfriend but was no where near her abusive ex-spouse. 


CNN and MSNBC anchors were once local weather persons, I'm sure of it. But you dear Reader, you're alright with me. Here's some meatloaf with 100% chance of a napkin. Cuz you're gonna need it.


Bernie

Lady Dawgs beat Vandy

76-63. Pretty in pink.

Monday's Meatloaf - pierced ears one day, mini skirts to follow

What could possibly be worse than working late on a Friday? Well, gather close and listen up.


I'm a simple man. I don't like french food and would rather young boys with an eye for my girls never darken my doorway. Now, some of you readers probably have some fine young men that are as well mannered as a boy can possibly be. Perhaps they even eat broccoli. Kudos to you and your parenting skill set, I have a beer in my beer fridge with your name on it. I have no real problem with your boy, honestly. I'd just rather not think of dealing with them around my house. Just keep them at your home, away from my gun and we can all continue to get along just swimmingly.

Almost as scary as Bernie's gun.

Sure, my girls aren't even out of elementary school yet; they're just beginning to enter into an age group considered "pre-teens". And for the most part they still think of boys as being made from snails, dirt worms and mud. In addition and according to dinner table reports, most of them eat their boogers and fart in public as well. Yet this phenomenon called "pre-teens" is like parenting teenagers while the training wheels are still on. There are no curfews or driving restrictions to argue over. But there is plenty of wardrobe differentiations and truly crappy music to toss household harmony out the window on its nearly deaf ear. Indeed, "pre-teens" are like miniature dobermans with baby teeth. Their bite isn't as painful or as lasting, but it can still scare the hell out of you.


Like a good dad I have paid attention to particular milestones that my children have accomplished as well as ones they are still aiming for. For instance, just last year they took their first steps as toddlers. And on Friday my oldest got her ears pierced. Yes, for those of you without the joys of progeny...it happens that quickly! And despite reminding the eldest that the set-in-stone-preestablished-age-for-getting-ears-pierced-is-TWELVE!! as recently as THURSDAY NIGHT after dinner, there they were when I got home Friday night...waiting on my approval. Her ten year old ears punctured and bruised by some "jeweled" adornment. As if there was anything I could do about it then.


Except threaten her within an inch of her life if she ever blares Miley Montana while arguing with her mother over appropriate clothing for Sunday School. If some part-time employee at the mall can put those damn things in, I'm quite sure I can get them out.

Today's Ingredients

• The Senior Bowl was Saturday. Looks like Boykin's injury wasn't as bad as originally thought.
• Although the Lady Dawgs lost to the Vols in hoops (again), the GymDogs and ladies' tennis enjoyed a good weekend.
• It's shaping up to be an exciting finish to the 2012 recruiting class. Socrates updates us on what we might expect in a couple days. 
• Never too early to look at 2013. And Chad Simmons says West Laurens LB Johnny O'Neal felt the love ($$) Saturday from Georgia coaches.
• In case you missed it, sUGAr falling finds that ClemPson commit Chad Kelly (spurned from the egotistical loins of Super Bowl runner up MVP Jim Kelly) is putting the "DO" in DOUCHE.
• News last week about some of Coach Donnan's victims in the ponzi scheme was despicable. Displaced Dawg relates it all back to his time at UGA, more specifically in front of Loran Smith's microphone.
• Can a man as big as Weis take the high road? Blutarsky tackles the question.
• You've got to be kidding me. A 17 year old girl has somehow managed to survive by subsisting on McDonald's Chicken McNuggets alone since the age of two. When I was two chickens still came from your mama's best frying pan.

Maybe I'm not such a bad parent after all. On the rare occasion that we take our kids to McDonalds they at least get the fish. That is fish right?

Anyway, it's time for Darren the Intern's weekly report. Last week he installed web cams along I-85 so we could monitor traffic in the not so congested Peach Pass lanes. It never made it to the front page of the AJC or the film at 11, but Governor Deal had an all out hissy fit. Darren even spent a few nights in jail. So this week he delivered his report hand written on toilet paper.

Hello Reader. Darren the Intern here. The Peach Pass lanes are a valuable asset to commuting travelers coming into Atlanta from Gwinnett County. They help commuters everyday reach their destination safely and expediently. What's more, the lanes provide non-stop access to...

Ok, well. It appears Darren has been tampered with and reprogrammed. But rest assured, if you're willing to pay to use something that used to be free, that lane is open with no waiting.


Speaking of waiting, not much of that left for recruitniks. This time Wednesday we'll be wiping the powered donut sugar from our faces and listening for the fax machine. Stop by tomorrow for a run down of what will be the blog's 4th Annual NSD Liveblog, including how you could win prizes just by visiting. But until then, here's a fork. Your lunch is ready to be pierced.


Bernie