Animals Gone Wild!

We got reptiles intruding, Munson working his "magic" and french kissin' pigs....

Work's been crazy this week with meetings and online courses verifying I am actually minimally competent, so I got a little behind. And evidently the tackle football game this fall between our beloved Dawgs and the pighogsoooeees of arKANsas is in jeopardy.

Evidently some dimrods south of the border have been tickling tongues with swine and hopping on international flights to spread the cooties that develop forthwith.

Amateur athletic events in Alabama have already been cancelled, largely due to the fact that the state's two mimeograph machines couldn't print the newspapers fast enough to spread the word. LordGod, please bless those people with televised pictures over the airwaves...SOON!!

BDB reached out to AD Evans for a comment on the developing situation and whether it would prevent Joe Cox and Co. from boarding a September plane to Fayetteville. His response came via the internets.

"Bernie...get real!!"

Many college football fans might interpret that statement two very different ways. But as a Dawg fan, there's really only one way to read it: Game on!

So pack your Dr. McDreamy masks Dawg fans. We're headin' to PigHog.....Kaaaachoooooie!

Friday Feedbag

• Imagine Jenn's surprise yesterday when she discovered our chocolate lab teleported himself to the other side of his invisible fence. Things were all wellAND good for Munson until he evidently forgot how to teleport back. (And I quote) YELP!
• Don't be too surprised...if Mensa accepted dogs, Munson'd be on the outside of that fence too.
• Props to Nama for pointing out to me that I missed what will soon be our next Nat'l Holiday: Less is Indeed Moore. Monday was Terrance Moore's last entry to the pages ofAllJackCrap. Dude dropped off the face of the sports world's least influential column and sent a ripple of discontent that was enveloped by a wave of HOORAYS! Michael Vick has no shot at an NFL 53 man roster now. 
• Everyone else, synchronize your crackberries for April 27th, 2010. We'll celebrate by all buying beers for Mike Campo, national hero and blog commenter able to cut pompous journalists down at the knees...using only a keyboard.
• The former Georgia stars may have enjoyed success at the draft last weekend, but neither could land the cover to NCAA Football 2010. Noops Dawg over at Dancing in the Endzone calls the decision into question AND has a prediction for who will grace deface the cover next year.
• TotalUGA reports on Coach Fox's first signee, guard Vincent Williams.
• Dan Magill caught up with John Isner, who turned out to be quite the UGA tennis historian.
  
• Seen a lot of draft breakdowns by conference and by school ...meanwhile DawgsOnline breaks it down by state. The state that proves to be the most talent rich this April may surprise you. Then again, it may not.
• If you caught Maria Sharapova dressing up Stafford this week, you may have also caught E:60's piece on some mutant bodybuilder. If you too were skeptical, you'll like this. That worthless freak and show deserve each other.
• Lastly...I've avoided it as long as I can...the gators come to town this weekend for a series against the Diamond Dawgs. Problem is the baseball team has been playing more like Perno's Pups recently. I guess by Sunday evening we'll know if this reptilian visit came at the best of times or the worst.

So, having escaped a virus this week that the national media assures us will be more deadly than Mr. Moore with a word processor and access to an Alabaman mimeograph, I settled in last night to evaluate the 135th Derby.

With supper club this weekend and Bernie on quite the streak, there's a reputation to uphold. First I used Wikipedia to assure myself that none of the colts in the field are regular pork chop eaters and then took a gander at the odds. 

I've been working hard on my street cred....and I've got a good feeling about the 30-1 pony in the first post. Gimme $20 on West Side Bernie to win. 

And pass the ribs...slow cooked to a perfect 160 degrees. 

Enjoy the Mooreless weekend Reader. God knows we've earned it.

Bernie

When pissed....RANT!

As we say on the tennis court, the ball was in their court. The NCAA had an opportunity to do what was right. Coach Richt had pushed for the chance to attend a scholar athlete's graduation. A graduation in which Chris Burnette would be recognized as his school's salutatorian just weeks before reporting to Athens as one of Georgia's prized new freshmen.

But instead of granting a harmless waiver and paving the way for CMR's trip to Troup Co., the NCAA decided to remain the ridiculously inept institution that it is. Worse, they said the decision would have swung the other way had Burnette made valedictorian.

WTF?!?

Denying a coach an opportunity to attend a graduation ceremony is asinine at best; to place the blame for the decision on the shoulders of an 18 year old kid who represents everything that is right about the term student-athlete is equivalent to guerrilla warfare...senseless, absurd, baseless.

I still stand alongside Michael Carvell in that CMR should attend Burnette's moment anyway. Take a stand for academics as the figurehead for athletics in the state of Georgia. Applaud a home grown stellar student and gladly accept whatever pompous, minuscule punishment the NCAA hands down.

This Dawg would gladly accept that infraction. Feel free to rant with me...it's an honest way to deal with cowardly acts of inhumanity. And it'll do until I can come up with something better.

Monday's Meatloaf - Always #1 on Bernie's Draft Board

Six total Dawgs drafted over the weekend. Bernie's name was not called, which is why he is still feverishly typing and not nursing a killer Dom Perignon hangover while poring over a playbook the size of the Old Testament chiseled into stone tablets.

I guess the only bad part about being drafted #1 by the Lions as their new franchise QB is that you have to trade your ride in for a Ford. That and they didn't draft an offensive lineman until the seventh round. 

Hope Lydon Murtha can protect the blindside.

While there was much speculation about Stafford and Moreno's decisions back in January, in the end they certainly made the right call. You may can argue that Asher should've stayed another season and tried to improve upon what turned out to be a third round selection, but the other two early entries couldn't have improved their stock much more, if at all.

To all Dawgs who went through the draft process, whether drafted or not....step to the front of the line today and get yourself a heapin' helpin'. This meatloaf is cooked to perfection.

• Lions' HC Jim Schwartz says the entire staff involved in the draft building process for the organization was sold on Stafford, "from the area scout, to the director of college scouting, to the general manager, to the assistant coach, to the offensive coordinator and the head coach." 
• Consensus made the Georgia QB an easy pick.
• Athens Banner-Herald has an update on some Dawg undrafted free agent signings.
  
• So Ohio State had nearly 100,000 people at its spring game. Given their record in big games, I guess that's like their own personal BCS Championship. 
• The Senator defends all college football fans who pay great attention to spring drills and games. I only add that at least our version of the game doesn't let a coin toss decide who holds the greater advantage in overtimes.
• Great Glory! Somebody step up and pitch for the Diamond Dawgs...SEC series in Oxford goes the way of the Rebels. Bats came alive until Sunday when they were stymied by Ole Miss All-American Scott Bittle.
• In better news around campus, the Womens' Tennis team collected their third straight SEC title with a 4-0 victory over Tennessee. The NCAA tournament selection show airs Tuesday, 5:20pm on ESPNews.
• Lastly, Brooks has a humorous look at this year's Mr. Irrelevant from Oxyclean University, where Michael Phelps holds an honorary doctorate in PR disasters.

Perhaps in response to BDBs criticism of the HillBillyLand program's handling of BJ Coleman, KiffyBaby issued a statement late Friday where expressed regret at the Coleman decision. As Blutarsky points out, these decisions are common this time of year, especially at the start of a new regime...or circus event as it were. 

But Junior Jackhole says at one point that the main reason the Coleman decision is regrettable is because he feels the young QB had made great strides in his short time with them.

That's right LaneyBoy, great strides towards making the other QBs on your depth chart look like the kind of signal callers the Visor has been signing up lately.

May wanna use a firm grip on that fork Reader. Those bites are quite hefty. And Mr. Stafford - Lloyds of London on the phone...returning your call inquiring about increasing your premium...???

Bernie

Sunday Headlines

Knowshon, Staff and MoMass go on the first day of the NFL Draft and plenty of deserving Dawgs laying in the rough, ready to be discovered as diamonds.....speaking of which...

• BryMass (no relation to Mo) hit three (that's - 3!!) HRs in Oxford, but the Diamond Dawgs fell victim to a late rally. Rebels even the series heading into Sunday's 2:30pm rubber matchup. 
  
• Good to know the large Rebel crowds aren't hurting the Dawg bats...but sure would be nice to win this series.
  
• TotalUGA has some good quotes from 24 on being drafted and the process/experience as a whole.
  
• And being in NewYorkNewYork didn't sway The Telegraph's Hale from getting some reaction from CMR on Saturday's Draft proceedings.
  
• Unable to recreate the drama of Friday's come-from-behind victory, the mens' tennis team fell 4-1 to Tennessee.
  

Gonna try to work in a daughter's soccer game in between more Dawg draft selections. Gotta keep up the rep as Dad o' the Year! 

WhaddaYa Have on Draft? Part IV

Where will Knowshon go?

With Stafford outta the way at #1, and looks at Byrd and Irvin in the books....the question many Dawg fans will be wondering this afternoon as the draft starts is exactly where their beloved energizer tailback will land.

Much has been made about 24's lack of breakaway speed. Much has also been made about how little that should factor into NFL execs' decisions. But there are two things true Knowshon fans know: he isn't the type to get too caught up in being passed over AND whoever does select him will get a big time player.

After all, what does it matter that a safety can run 24 down if the defender is laying prostate on the turf with two broken ankles? My opinion is that I doubt he falls any further than #21 where the Eagles are perched.

WhaddaYa Have on Draft? Part III

Matthew Stafford will become the first Dawg overall to go #1 in the NFL Drat since 1953 when the 49ers drafted UGA receiver Harry Babcock. So while the Bulldog Nation remains relatively spilt concerning the uber talented QB's accomplishments while in Athens, every Dawg can watch with pride as Stafford is the first player to walk across the stage today at Radio City Music Hall.

Brett Jensen at TotalUGA has some commentary up regarding Stafford's reaction. We'll need to wait a couple years to see if the Bobby Layne curse is officially over.

WhaddaYa Have on Draft? Part II

Stafford is getting lots of ESPN face time this week; I watched him sit down with Erin Andrews and play coy. A few minutes later it was confirmed that he had become richer than cheesecake. And while I'm glad he didn't pull a Brady and slideslideslide...I'm much more intrigued by some other Dawgs looking for a pro bone.

Earlier this week we looked at CJ Byrd heading into the draft. Today look is at Corvey Irvin who helped hold a depleted D-line together last season, starting 11 of 13 games. Irvin is ready to "seize the moment and embrace everything that comes (his) way". Some of the teams who've expressed interest in Irvin: Bills, Lions, Cowboys, Cardinals and Panthers. Hale had a sit-down with the big guy.

When his name is called, Irvin will be in Augusta with family and friends, not too far from his former teammate Byrd. Irvin's lack of significant D-1 playing time may hurt him some, but this great leader will be a welcome addition to an NFL team, as high as third, but likely no later than the 6th or 7th round.

It's Easy to Get Yourself in Quite a Pickle...

...when it's your surname.

Before I go spoutin' off big time phrases like civil disobedience and wrong-headed, I tend to use resources like the dictionary or thesaurus on my desk. If those don't work I just ask Jenn.

Honey, what's a synogomy for bark? I think you mean synonym (sweetheart). Try woof!

You may remember last week when the AJCs Carvellurged CMR to attend signee Chris Burnette's graduation speech. One development this week is that Burnette fell just short of being named his class' valedictorian. Another development was that an NCAA jackhole decided to open his orifice.

David Pickle is the NCAA's managing director of publishing. Which is to say he's about as important in NCAA land as the guy who bagged my groceries today is to my supermarket. Mr. Vlasic didn't like a writer urging a head coach to violate NCAA rules. To be fair though, it's hard to realize the governing body you work for has rules as dumb as doughnuts when your last name is Pickle.

And seriously...civil disobedience? Wrong-headed? 

Paging Mr. Pickle. We need all baggers to the front. All baggers to the front please!

Friday Feedbag

• My favorite posts of the week both come from the Senator's desk yesterday. First he warns us about a potential wardrobe malfunction while seated in Sanford. And secondly, he just reminds us that we had been warned.
• After a quarter century, Exhile's found someone that can adequately explain Star Wars as well as remind us why it's important to hug your kids as often as possible.
• Draft day is tomorrow. Stafford and the Lions seem really serious about each other. Meanwhile, Andrew Miller of BullDawg Illustrated has one final look at Knowshon before he's drafted out of a red and black uniform. Speaking of 24, The Telegraph's own David Hale was on hand for all the tweetosphere as the former Dawg addressed a gathering in New Jersey. (UPDATE: link to the Video Blog. That's a sharp lookin' shirt.)
  
• While some all stars enjoy the glitz and glamour of being selected on a Saturday, others will be hunkered down all weekend amidst friends and family.
• Bernie took a little time this week to plug for an upcoming event that is near and dear. If you missed it, CLICK HERE.
• Of course he also took the time to take in a game at Foley, where the Diamond Dawgshad better luck at home against Kennesaw State than they did on the road against Jacksonville State. The road trip continues today in Oxford. Hopefully the woes have not followed them there.
• The subtle nuances of a vodka cranberry may be lost on TotalUGAs Brett Jensen, but the man has the dish on some early recruiting news for the Dawgs in '10; both in the backfield and in the trenches. 
• BJ Coleman is leaving Rocky Flop because he feels pressured constantly by Coach O to take his shirt off. Reached late Thursday evening Coleman explained his decision to Bernie: "At first it was kinda funny that Ol' Man Kiffin kept forcing me to take drafts from his moonshine jug. But Orgee refused to take no for an answer. I began to suspect there were no longjohns under those overalls either."
• Bernie took it one step further and asked KiffyBaby why Coleman was buried so deep on the depth chart this spring despite the better passing numbers. After a  l o n g  and awkward silence only interrupted by swigs from his sippy cup,junior ignoramus piped up: "Crompton good. Daddy like."
• You spilled a little there kid.

Lastly and most importantly, congrats to Burnette for the classroom achievements. Fess up Reader, the closest you an I came to Valedictorian was the near fender bender in the parking lot before the ceremony.

And I'm glad Richt has applied for the waiver. I mean why forego breathing through your nose just because you're surrounded by a bunch of knuckle-dragging compliance freaks? While folks at the NCAA like Pickle are busy wiping the drool from their chins, Richt can be making a young man's special day even more...specialer.

Is that right honey? Specialer?

Bernie

Let's PLUG This In

I'm about as avid a runner as Chan Gailey was a winning coach. It's always a good idea until you get to the end of the driveway and realize you are only going to get further and further away from the comforts of beer, sofas...and A/C. 

I do enjoy the occasional road race however, and last year I found one that was as enjoyable as any other I've competed...excuse me, AHEM!...completed.

The SCAN Foundation raises much needed funds for Skin Cancer awareness and prevention. Its founder Marilyn Fry, organizes and produces an annual 5K Walk/Run in and around the Perimeter Mall area just north of Atlanta the Saturday before Memorial Day.

It's a great race for serious runners getting primed and ready for the Peachtree. It's also an opportunity for runners like me to reacquaint themselves with optimal heart rates, proper hydration and scenic views other than their television.

You may have heard about the event by way of Vince Dooley's voice on 680theFan as recently as Tuesday. If you are not familiar with Dooley's voice please kindly take your keyboard and smack yourself in the forehead. If you don't even know who I am talking about, please exit this blawg immediately.

When I listened to Dooley's radio plug last year I went straight home and signed up. And boyhowdy am I glad that I did.

They have dermatologists on site before and after the race for free screenings. The dermatologist who checked me out discovered a mole on my back that he recommended I have removed. It was what they call pre-cancerous, so I was not at risk...yet.

I don't have to tell any of you I'm sure that others have not been as lucky. Like Tiffany who bravely inspired everyone in attendance last year with both her words and her steps. Although she won't be able to inspire us directly this year, she will certainly be on our minds as we open up our checkbooks...and lace up our shoes.

So, save the date - May 23rd at 8am. 

Diamond Dawgs Ruffle Some Feathers

Athens drew me home for the first time in quite a while and I took the chance to catch the Diamond Dawgs in action. The Dawgs crossed the plate 11 times and needed nearly every one to hold off the Owls of Kennesaw State.

Post-game on the Perno Show the Dawgs' skipper sounded more than unsure who his bottom of the order should consist of as a complement to the murderers' row at the top.

Indeed, Poythress celebrated Jeff Keppinger's birthday by tying the former Dawg's record for roundtrippers in a game with three. Here's a professional video of his third dinger:

By now you are undoubtedly aware that I forgot my camera...sorry. The Dawgs 7 HRs put them on pace to break the school's record for HRs in a season, before the end of the regular season.

Always willing to embrace controversy, I took a seat along the third base side for most of the game, amidst the spooky Owl fans who had made the ride over. At one point in the 6th I heard one nocturnal fan who had escaped the aviary ask:  Do they play a full nine?

You betcha ya foul fowl. And we also wear jocks and cups at this level too! 

Must be a Cobb Snob. While the bottom of the lineup remains day to day, Perno seemed set on his bat boy...none other than Jared Poythress. Definitely good luck for older brother.

The Diamond Dawgs travel to Jacksonville State tomorrow night (first pitch at just after 7pm) and then travel to beautiful Oxford for the weekend. If you're not in the Jacksonville area tomorrow evening, you can catch all the action on 960theRef.

For a better writeup and better pictures, click HERE.