McGarity to step down, Spurrier rumored as next AD

Happy Mike Campo Day y'all!

Mike Campo releases new IPF renderings

Mike Campo, renowned architect from the firm Merence Toore and Assoc., has provided more details about the soon to be UGA Indoor Practice Facility, most notably that it should come at a cost under two hundred....dollars....two hundred American dollars.

Reached at his Statham GA office, Mr. Campo provided these details:

"I've worked on this non-stop since earlier this morning. I think you'll see these renderings show a functional, or at least a practical use of space. And yes, I've told Mr. McGarity that I could indeed keep the price tag under $200."

Pressed for his inspiration in this unique design...

"Well, I took my kids to McDonald's for breakfast before school this morning. Little Mikey was playing with this pile of straws instead of eating his hotcakes. When I turned to yell at the little brat for the fourth time I realized he'd built this tower that reached almost all the way to the ceiling. Boom. Genius!"

Okay...but what will the roof be made of?

"Like I said. We're still in the early stages. But Lil Lucy spilled juice all over her McMuffin wrapper. It seemed to hold pretty well against those elements. So that might give us a start."

Sounds pretty lightweight in frame. Aren't you worried about the wind?

"Yes. I've already told Coach Richt that his team might have to wear jackets on certain days. You know, due to the open air design.

Look, I've got to go. Bubba Wayne over at the trailer park has a noon appointment. He's building a new deck for Lucinda Earl!"

He hung up before I could ask if he was an Auburn grad.

---------

Addendum: The years have not been kind to the Mike Campo phenomenon. I should've suspected this. First, once Hale left Macon his old Dawg Extra blog became harder to bookmark as it auto-redirects to the Ledger Enquirer. The old blog was where I first discovered Campo. Now, the AJC has removed the original article (and subsequent comments that include Terence Moore getting duped) from its site. So, the only remaining evidence may be from my copy and paste job in 2013, which was actually copied and pasted from my first celebration of Happy Mike Campo Day in 2010 (albeit slightly embellished). 

If you're new to this April 1st tradition, I suggest you start there.

Friday Feedbag - shower discipline in Athens GA

First, my sincerest apologies for pranking some of you the other day. Second, be forewarned that it won't be the last attempt at Mike Campo'ing y'all. To make up for it, I figured we'd start the weekend with something to eat. This has been slow roasting for quite some time. So it should be quite savory.

From the WTF file comes a tale of two young lovers, both wild-eyed and head over heels for each other. Undoubtedly planning to spend the rest of their lives together. Without question the most innocent and genuine relationship in Clarke County. Pure and unabashed contentment. Relentless passion and unconditional devotion to one another.

Like Mr. Ward, Lil Dools doesn't believe in cutting corners in the shower.

They even had so much passion for each other's personal hygiene that they decided to shower one another with an amorous lather. Cleansing each other...rinsing...repeating. Conditioning their inner affections and staring deeply into each others gaze, they reached towards the soap dish at the same moment, and...

...did I mention they were both sixteen? And that they thought they were in the apartment (the one rented by the girl's step-father) alone? Yes, well what happened next you've probably heard about. The step-father came home, assaulted the recently well rinsed young man and was later charged with battery and cruelty to children.

Which is why I dropped it in the WTF File. No, I do not condone grown men hitting teenagers. Especially when said teenager is wearing nothing but his birthday suit. But if I were the boy's parents I would find it hard to press charges against Mr. Clinton Ward. But then again, I'm more of a believer in you reap what you sow. After all, Life has all kinds of natural consequences. And if you want to pretend to be an adult, you best be ready to defend yourself.

Nekkid or not.

Now, some links to chew on:
- Condolences to the guys over at Sports and Grits. RIP samdizl.
- If you haven't already, make sure you check out the Mark Richt artwork contest. I still torn between Patrick's and Holly's. But I give the edge to Holly for including Grizzard.
- Garbin takes some comfort in adding a lot of numbers to the history of the offensive line's production.
- Blutarsky finds it hard to feel any sympathy for Ricardo Lewis.
- Bobo is "rolling through a lot of guys" until the reinforcements come this summer.
- Poole tries to keep up with the pace of practice.
- Just started a new book with some Georgia flair - The Killing King of Gratis. Written by a an actual reader here named Jay Jackson. Y'all check it out.
- Thirty-three years is a long time to stay up so late. Goodnight Mr. Letterman.

Speaking of Two Young Lovers, let's wish em every happiness.

That's all from here ladies and gents. I'm heading to the coast tomorrow by way of a beer festival in Greenville. I'll be updating the blog here, but it will be between salted rims and fried seafood. Until we meet again kids, stay clean and don't share any staph infections.

Mike Campo fired as special teams coach

Working off a source whose name rhymes with Merence Toore, I reported a minute ago that a dude from central Montana had been hired to coach special teams for Georgia.

In a word, I was duped. Happy Mike Campo day y'all! Save some gas and ride a Schwinn!

"I've always thought Ken Griffey Jr
could really help UGA with
special teams."

Related posts:
- Last year's celebration
- The original Moore "article" from which a national holiday was born
- Hale brought it to our attention

Mike Campo hired as special teams coach

In a stunning development late last night, Coach Richt hired a little known high school assistant from Ismay, Montana as Georgia's new special teams coach. As yet it is unclear how UGA will fit Mr. Campo on an already full staff, or how the previously assigned special teams duties will relate to this developing situation.

Reached at his home last night, Mr. Campo sounded eager and enthusiastic:

"I'm thrilled. I mean, to go from doing the laundry of a bunch of 8th graders to managing punts and kicks and what not for a major program...Jeez Louise I can't wait to buy a pair of actual shorts!!"

Pressed for more of an indication as to how this move developed, Coach Campo added:

"Just crazy, crazy stuff. I was reading something called the AJC that was just chock full of comments about all the help Georgia needed with special teams. So I sent Mark Richt an outline I drew up for how to revamp all the punting and kicking for the Bulldogs and what not. Mostly highly technical stuff like having punters wear gloves and kicker people taking karate. Did you know there's no rule against punters using stilts?"

Incidentally, calls to Coach Richt and AD McGarity have not been returned. But that didn't stop Mr. Campo from confirming the news for us.

"Oh, it's a done deal. The contract was easy to finalize because I'm getting a base salary of $2 million per year, with $500,000 fines for every missed kick, blocked punt, or fair catch."

At which time I pointed out that Georgia is about half way through spring practices. When is this guy planning to start this special teams overhaul in Athens?

"Well. As soon as I can get to the General Store and pick up a map. I've never been south of Cheyenne. Has the snow melted down there yet?"

Oh boy.

Happy Mike Campo Day!!

Four years! Can't believe it's been four years since Terence Moore was so fantastically duped that the internet was changed forever. Well, that may be a bit much. But it was funny enough to remember fondly each year as the calendar turns to April.

Because in the spring of 2009 UGA was looking for a basketball coach. And Terence Moore, AJC typist and note idiot, was busy lobbying for Tubby Smith (okay, I get that Captain Obvious) or Craig Robinson (wuh? who?).

In April 2009 Craig Robinson had just finished his first season as Oregon State's head coach, going 18-18 and winning the College Basketball Invitational. Prior to that he'd gone 30-28 at Brown. Those sterling credentials aside, Robinson is also Barack Obama's brother in law. This point of fact alone clearly qualifies him to be the head coach at Georgia.

So Moore continued to type, much to everyone's regret. At least those with internet connection that could also read. Thankfully there was one person to intervene. Mike Campo.

Mike is not necessarily a real person. Although he could be. Or she, perhaps. But whoever Campo is he got the better of Moore and put him back in his place with just a few words, expertly crafted, on the Fools' most recognizable day.

Mike Campo 4/1/09, 11:38am - Mr. Moore, I am 12 years old and love reading your articles. I think they are great! Please keep writing and inspiring the youth like me to write!

Chief Craptastic 4/1/09, 11:48am - Mike Campo - Thanks for the kind words. Since you’re 12 years old, I’m sure you’ll change your mind several times in regards to what you want to do in life. But keep studying hard in general, and I’m glad you enjoy writing. The more you write, the more you’ll enjoy it, and the more you’ll develop your craft. Having the ability (and the will) to write effectively will help you in whatever you decide to do. So, Mike, keep listening to your parents and to your teachers, and you’ll be just fine. 

Mike Campo 4/1/09, 11:51am - Just kidding, your writing and opinions suck 

Chief Craptastic 4/1/09, 11:51-12:02pm - silence....

Mike Campo 4/1/09, 12:02pm - Sorry, my dad typed that. He doesn’t like you and says you are racist. i don’t know what that means. he want’s me to ask you when you are moving to another state? He says he’ll buy me a new bike if you go. Please hurry up and move far away. 

And scene. Excellent. It's a lot like "catfishing" just with a better 40 time and tackling skills. Moore took a voluntary buyout later that month. He now makes up shit for something called AOL Fanhouse. Craig Robinson, by the way, has compiled a 59-70 record since 2009. Clearly Damon Evans was drunk in not hiring him. Clearly.

But that's all conjecture. Today we celebrate the man (supposedly), the myth, the legend. Somewhere I hope Mike Campo is steering his Schwinn with one hand and drinking a raspberry slushy with the other. Perhaps one day we'll meet outside of the wires of the internets. Until then...

Happy Mike Campo Day!

Bonus material:

- original Moore article

- Hale weighed in with a response

- Williard's interview with Moore

Monday's Margarita - tequila > brownie

Greetings sports fans, from the sun drenched Atlantic coast. Don't worry, I'm not just here for fun and games. I'm also training the snowbirds of Ohio and Ontario to not sound like squawking chicken hawks when they talk.

I know we're all discouraged with the recent news. Richt's boat gets lighter and lighter.It seems like everyday there's someone else in trouble or leaving Athens. I'm not going to pump sunshine. I'm frustrated too.

But don't let a mistaken brownie or a couple spring transfers dampen your spirit for this team, this season. Voicing frustrations over the uneven playing field when it comes to drug testing is understandable. Shaking your head at dumb decisions is a simple yet appropriate reaction. But the reality is there's still guys working hard and competing for the right to wear the G 'tween the hedges.

Shortened list of ingredients today as I traveled pretty light. But mix well and be sure to tell your waitress if you want a salted rim or not.

Today's Ingredients
- Blutarsky wonders if there's more to these transfers than meets the eye.
- Rex has an opportunity if any of you want to show off your Georgia Glory.
- Patrick takes some time to rank the greatest tight ends to wear the G.
- Not the best weekend on the diamond as T Kyle King reports.
- ecdawg has some defensive highlights for you.
- Interested in a GDay Tweetup? You can talk to people in more than 140 characters.
- Hope everyone had a great April Fools Day. You didn't get Mike Campo'd did you?


Great day Saturday up in Suwanee. This year's beer fest far exceeded 2011's in both participation, organization and tasting. Shout out to Mary Kate, the other organizers, the breweries, the bands, the participants and especially the volunteers. Can't wait for next year!

That's all for now Reader. That's about the best I can do from this phone. I hope to have at least one more installment in the GATArchives this week. And I've got a Humpday Hilarity that I'm told The Senator may have previewed for you over the weekend. Unless I'm overrun by Ontarioanites in the Piggly Wiggly look for those posts and others later this week.

Squawking chicken hawks do love their bagels.

Bernie

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Happy Mike Campo Day!

 It's a yearly tradition, and always worth a good chuckle. Or as the young kids that ride the Schwinn bikes say..a "lol". It was born as a comment that rapidly grew to a life of its own. Today we celebrate that life. Today we all raise our glass to Mike Campo, the greatest prankster to ever take a dump on an AJC server.


Oh Terence Moore, how we miss thee! Let me count the ways:

1. (chirp...)
2. [insert reference to earlier article about how Mike Vick should be the next basketball coach at UGA]
3. (...chirp...)
4. extra space on newsprint to help new puppy owners house train their pets
5. [insert reference to Ken Griffey Jr's ability to split the atom and sell baseball tickets simultaneously]
6. water cooler chats across the ATL metro just aren't the same without lmfao'ing at your latest effort to make Mark Bradley look like a member of Mensa
7. (...chirp...)
8. .....
9. [deleted by a google bot for excessive profanity]
10. [obligatory reference to Barack Obama]

And now, without further adieu...let's officially call this meeting to order. First the reading of the exchange...

Three years ago today Terence Moore was still getting paid for his "journalism". On April 1, 2009 he wrote an "article" urging Damon Evans to make some calls regarding the Georgia basketball coaching position that was open at the time. To sum it up, Moore had half-heartedly moved on from promoting Michelle Obama's brother to endorsing Tubby Smith.

What ensued was hilarity, hijinx and near pandemonium in which a certain commenter baited the mental midget into sharing some knowledge of his craft. Here's a transcription:

Mike Campo 4/1/09, 11:38am - Mr. Moore, I am 12 years old and love reading your articles. I think they are great! Please keep writing and inspiring the youth like me to write!

Chief Craptastic 4/1/09, 11:48am - Mike Campo - Thanks for the kind words. Since you’re 12 years old, I’m sure you’ll change your mind several times in regards to what you want to do in life. But keep studying hard in general, and I’m glad you enjoy writing. The more you write, the more you’ll enjoy it, and the more you’ll develop your craft. Having the ability (and the will) to write effectively will help you in whatever you decide to do. So, Mike, keep listening to your parents and to your teachers, and you’ll be just fine. 

Mike Campo 4/1/09, 11:51am - Just kidding, your writing and opinions suck 

Chief Craptastic 4/1/09, 11:51-12:02pm - silence....

Mike Campo 4/1/09, 12:02pm - Sorry, my dad typed that. He doesn’t like you and says you are racist. i don’t know what that means. he want’s me to ask you when you are moving to another state? He says he’ll buy me a new bike if you go. Please hurry up and move far away.  

As Hale typed at the time, it's stuff like (this) that the internet was invented for. Wherever you are today Mike Campo...male or female...young or old...Schwinn or Huffy...we salute you!

Happy Mike Campo Day!

Bonus reading: Willard's interview with Moore on the first anniversary

Happy Mike Campo Day, 2011!!

Two years. 730 days. It goes by so quickly. Seems like just yesterday young Mike Campo was learning how to ride a bike...

Need to catch up? Here's the quick of it:

Two years ago today Terence Moore was still getting paid for his douchebaggery journalism. On April 1, 2009 he wrote an "article" urging Damon Evans to make some calls regarding the Georgia basketball coaching position that was open at the time. To sum it up, Moore had half-heartedly moved on from promoting Michelle Obama's brother to endorsing Tubby Smith.

What ensued was hilarity, hijinx and near pandemonium in which a certain commenter baited the mental midget into sharing some knowledge of his craft. Here's a transcription:

Mike Campo 4/1/09, 11:38am - Mr. Moore, I am 12 years old and love reading your articles. I think they are great! Please keep writing and inspiring the youth like me to write!

Chief Craptastic 4/1/09, 11:48am - Mike Campo - Thanks for the kind words. Since you’re 12 years old, I’m sure you’ll change your mind several times in regards to what you want to do in life. But keep studying hard in general, and I’m glad you enjoy writing. The more you write, the more you’ll enjoy it, and the more you’ll develop your craft. Having the ability (and the will) to write effectively will help you in whatever you decide to do. So, Mike, keep listening to your parents and to your teachers, and you’ll be just fine. 

Mike Campo 4/1/09, 11:51am - Just kidding, your writing and opinions suck 

Chief Craptastic 4/1/09, 11:51-12:02pm - silence....

Mike Campo 4/1/09, 12:02pm - Sorry, my dad typed that. He doesn’t like you and says you are racist. i don’t know what that means. he want’s me to ask you when you are moving to another state? He says he’ll buy me a new bike if you go. Please hurry up and move far away.  

As Hale typed at the time, it's stuff like (this) that the internet was invented for. Wherever you are today Mike Campo...male or female...young or old...Schwinn or Huffy...we salute you!

Happy Mike Campo Day!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Other readings to help you celebrate:

• Last year's post celebrating the occasion
• The original Moore article, including the comments where Campo pwns him!!
• Willard's interview with Moore from last year's Mike Campo Day

Terence Moore, On the Record...with Willard

Never one to shy away from any type of attention, Terence Moore agreed to sit down with our very own Willard...albeit under the guise of wanting to learn more about developing the craft of writing. Dressed to the nines in a Ken Griffey Jr Mariners jersey, a brightly feathered cap and flip-flops, Moore seemed at ease, relaxed.

At least until Willard opened his mouth.

Willard - Hey Terry. How's it been since the AJC dropped you instead of the white guys?


Moore - I'm not sure I catch your meaning.


Willard - UUUUURRRRRP!! You know....ya got canned Terry.


Moore - I...uh...I...


Willard - Meanwhile Mark and Jeff and Tim and Chip...they're still tapping away on those typewriters. For what it's worth, I disliked your columns only (GULP!) marginally less than theirs....


Moore - Wait...hold on now. I'm now an adjunct media personality for ESPN. It was a shift in career I eagerly embraced....Is that a beer in your koozie?


Willard - Whoa!....no hugs Terry. UUUUURRRRRP!! This is strictttly pluh...pla...pluhtahh...we're just talkin' here dude. And yes....ya like my limited edition camo NRA beer colder thingamajig?


Moore - Look! I don't know who you are or what you're up to, but...


Willard - Simmer down Chief. How 'bout thiiiiis one....Any truth to the actual fact that Mike Campo drove you to run screaming from the building?


Moore - You really need to check your facts son. I retired from writing...


Willard - That's rich ya VickPimp. You tellin' me to fact check. You may have retired (Willard clumsily uses finger quotes)... UUUUURRRRRP!!...from writing. But you quit fact checking about the time the Jeffersons were moving on up. (awkward moment lengthened by an uncomfortable silence) You want a Natty Ice Terry? Helps me find my words...


Moore - No thanks. And off the record, Michael still owes me a dinner.

Willard - BWAHAHAHA!! UUUUURRRRRP!!....if the dog killa owes you a dinner, Griffey will have to work until Obama's daughter is elected to pay you back for all that ink. Not to mention David Justice.


Moore - This interview has nothing to do my craft as a writer does it? You're not interested...


Willard - No Terry. But it has EVERYTHING to do with your crap as a writer.

Moore - We're done here. You have a good day sir.


Willard - You too Craptastic! And Bernie says Happy Mike Campo Day! UUUUURRRRRP!!




Well, that went about as expected. Thanks to Willard. Your coupon for beef jerky is in the mail.

Happy Mike Campo Day!!

I know what you're thinking...it's only been a year? Yes, one year. Just three hundred and sixty five days since that intoxicating interaction between a dimwitted journalist and mysterious commenter. That rich and hilarious cyber exchange that will live forever in the wonderous interwebs.

Need a refresher? Lemme bring you back up to snuff...

A year ago Terence Moore still had his full time gig as Chief Craptastic over at the AJC. His charge at the time was to decide who the best candidate was for Georgia's basketball program. He had two names, one was Tubby Smith - former Georgia hoops coach, has enjoyed success everywhere he's been, stuck in seven feet of snow in Minnesota, might just be interested in a warmer clime.

The second name was Craig Robinson - Oregon State coach. Granted Moore did throw out some numbers in Robinson's favor, but most of the reasons why he should be the next Evans hire centered around the fact that he's also Michelle Obama's brother.

Such is the life of being a pimp in print. 

After the article's (and I use that term loosely...) publication onto the AJC website, a marvelous thing happened...Mike Campo came to life. Born of the imagination of some internet subscriber from the vast darkness and obscurity that is the intertubes. We know not whether this person is an actual AJC subscriber or even if he actually knows how to ride a bike.

But certainly Hale was right when he typed that it's stuff like (this) that the internet was invented for.

Mike Campo 4/1/09, 11:38am - Mr. Moore, I am 12 years old and love reading your articles. I think they are great! Please keep writing and inspiring the youth like me to write!

Chief Craptastic 4/1/09, 11:48am - Mike Campo - Thanks for the kind words. Since you’re 12 years old, I’m sure you’ll change your mind several times in regards to what you want to do in life. But keep studying hard in general, and I’m glad you enjoy writing. The more you write, the more you’ll enjoy it, and the more you’ll develop your craft. Having the ability (and the will) to write effectively will help you in whatever you decide to do. So, Mike, keep listening to your parents and to your teachers, and you’ll be just fine. 

Mike Campo 4/1/09, 11:51am - Just kidding, your writing and opinions suck 

Chief Craptastic 4/1/09, 11:51-12:02pm - silence....

Mike Campo 4/1/09, 12:02pm - Sorry, my dad typed that. He doesn’t like you and says you are racist. i don’t know what that means. he want’s me to ask you when you are moving to another state? He says he’ll buy me a new bike if you go. Please hurry up and move far away.  

Pure. Comedy. Gold.

The fact that Moore even advises someone on how to develop their craft of writing is enough to make most keel over laughing their asses off. Surely even Mike Campo didn't expect the gag to go that well. If you want to relive the entire moment or if you had the misfortune of missing it altogether, you can drink in the entire goblet full of awesomeness by clicking here. I assure you that the hilarity is as ripe today as it was a mere year ago.

To give this first anniversary it's proper due, I was able to procure an interview with the idiot named Terence....a task Willard was more than ready for. Check back later for that. 

But for now, thank you Mike Campo. Thank you for your cunning, your cleverness and your undetectable guise of pre-teendom. Hope that bike came with a personalized plate to put under the seat...FOOL'd YA!!