Sweating Through the Opposite Day Presser

Despite my best wishes, Coach Richt did very little to do away with appearances yesterday. And since I tried to get in a late word just before his 2010 craptacular wrap-up presser, I thought I'd also lend a few quick after words. 


The fact is, we are not even remotely close. We're very, very far away. The point is to be close in August, which in turn can keep us very close in September and through November. I didn't at any point think he'd go and throw a stick of dynamite onto Woodruff Practice Field. That's not his style. I get that. I think we all get that.


One of the few positives I thought was the not so subtle tone being set by AD McGarity with his attendance as well as others. To be clear, this is the type of thing that is usually done in the comfort of CMRs office as a teleconference. The new AD wanted to make his coach sweat a little. Kind of his version of stadium steps for a 6-7 season if you will.


I may get reamed for typing this (and I never thought I would), but perhaps those martinis and red panties back in July were a blessing. Damon would never have stepped out of Richt's shadow. They were comfortable. Casual. I want all of Georgia’s coaches and McGarity to always be on the same page. But I’m ok if things aren’t always peaches and cream. It’s okay with me if Richt sweats a little when he walks through the Butts-Mehre doors.


It would have been nice to see more accountability from the guy behind the microphone. Yes, he's changed tweaked the Strength and Conditioning program. But I would fall well short of saying Bobo and Searels were great. And you know what? I doubt they would say they were great either. Our running game was abysmal and despite all the points scored, our offense lacked consistency. That's not great. To be quite honest and fair, that's merely being good...some of the time.


Richt spent years defending his defense at the expense of the offense, now he's flipped his teleprompter over. 

Please. Give. Me. A. Break.

But in the end I think we got what we expected. Little more, nothing less. And as long as the head guy walks into Butts-Mehre this winter wishing he'd worn a little more anti-persiprant...then I guess it'll be as close...as we can get.

Monday's Meatloaf - Ohhhh, That Smell...

Whiskey bottles and brand new cars...oak tree you're in my way.

It happens once a year, almost always in the summer. When else, really? You're minding your own business and it hits you...you're ready for football season. For me it happened Friday just as I was rounding the big oak tree in our neighborhood that stands as the beginning of the homestretch for my cardio routine.

Of course, we end each season ready for more, we are Dawgs after all. But I'm talking about truly ready. We've all uttered the words God would football season finally get here? and we've all passed the Weber grills and the cornhole boards in the garage and sighed, audibly.

And we've all perked up a little when we hear our own Battle Hymn ringtone. Or we've paused a little longer than usual as we pass that picture in the office of Sanford Stadium. Double sigh.

But this feeling brings with it an uncanny sense of joy; a very real pep in your step. You can smell the tailgate heating up, can hear the thwump of the bean bags on the boards. You can hear a gathering of fans wonder who's that comin' down the tracks. You can see Uga...er...I mean Russ settle the family heirlooms on a bag of ice. AJ Green catches every ball in warm ups. 

Then suddenly the trumpet rings out from the southwest corner. I can hear it now. Clean, crisp...clearly amplified and full of Georgia Glory...

Nearly down to 50 days Reader. Can you smell it?



Today's Ingredients

• Of course, my elation at smelling some gridiron Friday turned into stomach indigestion Saturday morning with the news from Athens Clarke County jail.
• Coach Richt doled out the bad news for his players' turbulence this weekend. As long they don't get caught emerging from any alleys...Jackson would be back in the middle of October for Vandy and King would be ready for the trip to Chickumbia. UPDATE: news gets worse. More later.
• Having already picked Georgia to beat Arkansas this fall, former Dawg baller Steve Newman goes more in depth into how the game will play out.
• AuditDawg took a seat at the DawgSports desk and told us where he comes from.
• Earl counted down to one of Georgia's all-time best athletes yesterday, Robert Edwards.
• Bill King wants to know which game will be the hardest for the Dawgs this season...you know, other than floriDuh.
• I agree with The Senator that Georgia has nothing to be ashamed of in Phil Steele's decade analysis. We should be even more impressed by what Richt has done in December and January.
• Every night is Ladies' Night at Bar Knoxville. So was Da'Rick wearing pumps or heels? Meanwhile the investigation continues.
• Paschall tells us that the coaches are gonna have to kick it up a notch in Hoover if they're to keep up with the players this summer.
• That sound you heard yesterday was the vuvuzela dying a slow death. The end of the World Cup means two things: Justin Beaver can re-assume his place atop the Twitter Twending Twopics...and Paul becomes calamari.
• It's usually a good practice to keep one's distance from the media. But does this mean global warming talk has officially cooled off? h/t Bluegrass Pundit
• Lastly, some good stuff coming up on the blog as we go through our own summer workouts. Plan to have a month by month break down of the season as well as some positional exploration. There's surely some good stuff to come out of Hoover next week. And we'll also have an exit interview for David Hale as he packs up his Bulldogs Blog. That should at least get us to two-a-days...

Last Monday we were embarrassed by the image of Damon's mugshot and the police report that read too close to a penthouse forum (...or so I'm told Honey...). Today, embarrassed again by a story that has become all too familiar. Football player arrested...DUI...indefinite suspensions.

For Damon, the next step will certainly come. Last week I prophesized and (after placing my tongue in cheek) suggested Evans might end up at Southern Miss with Eustachy...they could share a Pabst. Well, Weiszer uses juxtaposition much better than I do in this nice story. 

Wherever Damon ends up, the grass may not be greener at first and it probably won't be outlined with english privet. But it'll be a start. And as for Jackson and King and their next start....that ball's in their court. Hopefully they (or anyone else for that matter) don't give Richt reason to wield anymore discipline.

As for you Reader, use a disciplined fork and enjoy your lunch.

Bernie

Wednesday Headers - Ralphie's Revenge

Piping hot...cream or sugar?

• I'll be glued to the television Thursday at 9pm to see if LeBron "Chess Pawn" James chooses Coach Fox's cap. I hear he has four years of eligibility!!
• Seriously, if you actually watch the NBA...do you feel like a bigger douche than the guys whose jerseys you wear?
• Matt Hinton updates us on Seantrel Henderson, including a goofy pic of Coach Orgeron.
• Couple that with the fact that Malik Jackson is transferring from sunny California to Rocky Flop (and Mitch Mustain...??)...is KiffyBaby's house of cards finally started to wobble?
• Color me shocked (SHOCKED! I tell ya...) that the charges against Jordan Love might be dropped.
• Remember when the nerds had a field day over the UGA SEC championship ring debacle several years ago? Well...this is gonna piss Ralphie off. (h/t AJCsportseditor)
• Year2 looks at three things we do and don't know about Abuurn. Is it me, or does it look similar to what the Dawgs' would be?
• Rex weighs in on Damon's downfall.
• And Jimmy Cracked CornDawg welcomes Frank Crumley and also provides an endorsement for good measure.
• Pennington takes a long route, but he arrives at a pretty accurate conclusion to the SEC hotseat talk, I think.
• Simmons' tells us a top corner ($$) will be making a visit (and a decision) soon.
• Lastly, there's a reason he's a Senator. This hit the nail dead center.

Monday's Independent and Prophetic Meatloaf

Let us all remember the wise words of George Costanza:  A meatloaf divided against itself, cannot stand.

I was thinking yesterday and nearly sprained something. I would like to share this prophecy with you, Reader. Imagine for a moment that I, Bernie...were to land my very own dream job. For hours each day I would drink beer on Sanford bridge, gulping in each malted hop just as fast as the ambiance around me.

And maybe one day after that I would be recognized for how well I was doing and be given a perch to sit in; I picture it like a red lifeguard stand, except taller. I would look down upon my passersby as they milled about toward the Journalism Building, or perhaps Tate Center for a game of pool. On gamedays, as the band played whenever our Dawgs scored the crowd would also look to me to perform some seemingly mundane ritual, like crushing an empty against my head. I would treasure this job like no other, put 12 ounces of energy into its frothiness and would shudder at the thought of doing anything to put it in jeopardy.

But then one day my ego gets too big for my authentic Georgia helmet autographed by the legendary Scott Woerner - To my great BullDawg Bud Bernie! You're the best! (Hey! It's my damn prophecy, stop laughing!). I lose a bet in Jacksonville and wear a pair of jorts to the next game. My risk/reward checks and balance fails me. I somehow think my awesomeness can survive such a travesty.

I'm wrong.

Mark Bradley is the first to call for me to step down. He writes that I've devalued my own two diplomas. Prez Adams is still blitzed from all the free promotional PBR I've been slipping him right after he publicly chastises the very stand on which I sit. What's worse, the Dawg Nation is embarrassed, hurt and pissed the hell off. My own brethren, tailgate buddies...even Stacy Searels won't return my phone calls.

Ashamed and forlorn, I step down after a heartfelt yet still amazingly empty apology. The end. Game over. They give my throne to some young upstart like Nama, or maybe even an outsider like Cord with little to no ties to UGA. By Hate Week I'm a forgotten beltloop on the Dawg Nation's silver britches. I take some menial job as a blogger and live out my days reminding people in grocery stores that I was once the guy who used my forehead to crush cans from Sanford Bridge.

Sad...beyond measure. Yet there's a lesson of course. And the one to take from this Reader...drink PBR, not martinis. At least you won't end up handing over a pair of red panties to a trooper and crying like a man about to be castrated by his own wife.


Today's Ingredients

• First and foremost, if you haven't met Garrett Karp, you'd have a better chance from way down town. Courageous kid, great story. Cancer sucks.
• So now Damon Evans can focus on his family, the true innocent victims in all of this. Unfortunately, he's now three days behind after that ridiculous press conference Thursday. 
• His professional life will survive. Heck, he may even end up at Southern Miss with Larry Eustachy. And we know that guy drinks Pabst.
• Of course there's lots of responses to Evans' firing. But the big issue now is what the settlement is. We should find out later today just how much UGA was willing to pay to end this sad chapter. UPDATE: three months pay and 100K longevity bonus.
• The Senator thinks Bradley's panties are over-wadded. I detect an addition to the Lexicon evolving....
• Even before Ms. Fuhrmann was putting on her red unmentionables early Wednesday evening and some Buckhead bartender was mixing up the first of three vodka martinis, Quinton was wondering if Damon was being graded on a curve.
• Sidenote - now that the AJC has typed red panties more than the nerds have spilled their Yoo-Hoos over them...can we really call them unmentionables?
• Meanwhile the search is officially on today for a new AD. Bill King and Kyle's vote is for former Dawg and Foley underling Greg McGarity.
• Streit had a special edition to his countdown for July 4th.
• Meanwhile Noops celebrated in sweet style.
• LSU AD Joe Alleva says this is a big year coming up for Les and the football program. I just hope Coach Miles got some extra timeouts for Father's Day.
• Lastly, what's America come to when a former hotdog champ can't grab another 15 minutes of fame without getting cuffed and stuffed?

Sorry for the shorter list of ingredients today. Been a busy weekend coming off vacay and celebrating 234 years of superior dental care. 

But the real good news is that today is a new day. Sure, we'll have moments when Relationship Dawg Nation meets Independent Dawg Nation...like next Monday when the media covers Damon's courtdate. We'll be reminded of what once was. And more importantly what might have been.

But in the end Relationship Dawg Nation can't hurt Independent Dawg Nation any further. That's the Dawg Nation we know and love. Sugar Bowl Dawg Nation, Comin' Down the Track Dawg Nation. Yes, in the end we are still standing, maybe even better than ever.

It may be a Monday Reader, but wipe that mopey mug off your face and give the world a big Dawg smile. I mean, it could be worse...you could be a chicken rancher celebrating your first EVER national title...or a middle aged blogger still dreaming of his dream job. Either way, here's your fork. As always, try not to overtax it.



Bernie

Should He Stay or Should He Go?, Evans Scandal, part III

UPDATE: Evans has resigned. Official announcement to come Monday. Poll removed (fwiw, one vote in favor of him leaving).

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

What can I say? I find The Clash prophetic at times like these.

You've barfed over the headlines, seen the mugshot, read the police report...should Damon Evans be fired? From my informal poll based on message boards and the Twitter, I would say most want our AD gone...NOW!! But there are some who sit on the other sideline.

So what about you? Are you ready to turn the page and discuss who the next AD will be? Are you willing to give the guy another chance? Maybe you'd rather reserve judgment until the court date. Or are you just a nerd still giggling over the mention of red panties?

Vote now and feel free to explain why in the comments. If you change your mind, come back and recast your ballot. Believe me, I understand.

And if you need more reading on the topic:

• Dean Legge looks into what it would cost to fire Evans
• AJC looks at some angry, sad Dawg fans
• Kyle says Evans cannot continue

Thank You Sir, May I Have Another? - Evans Scandal, part II

I've read as much as I have time to. And although I was wrong yesterday with my guess that he would resign, I haven't given up on trying to discern how this Evans Scandal plays out. I just care too much...and the stakes could not be any higher.

What we don't know - The two key figures right now are Prez Adams and the media. We may know a lot about how Adams wheels and deals, but Evans is his guy. Hand picked just after Dooley was kicked in the rear, Georgia's AD has been Adams' glamour boy. That relationship should be given serious thought. Because although Adams might find some cleaner, shinier resumes I doubt he'd find a better director for UGAs athletics than the one who's been groomed.


As far as the media, we certainly know that they will drop the gloves (if there's any that are still on). But we don't yet know what's in the report or the videotape. And while both will definitely be harmful for Evans, the question may be...will it live up to the AllJackCrap's expectations?


What we do know - Damon Evans only missed one lesson from Dooley's tutelage - always use a driver. And it doesn't appear he's missed anything Adams' has taught him. He's savvy (when sober) and knows how to play the game. Drinking like a HillBilly punter and carousing like an Alabama spring coach (read: Mike Price in Auburn strip club) doesn't take away all of your dignity when you can face the cameras and digital voice recorders 18 hours later and play the only hand you've got.


I'll be man enough to admit I'm completely torn. When the news interrupted a round of golf yesterday I was quick to judgment. How can we have a guy who's behaved this way lead our own student-athletes? And although I've softened that sentiment at times, I still don't see how it plays out any other way.


But perhaps that's a rushed judgment steeped in embarrassment. Raise your hand if you woke up this morning and discovered that lump in your gut when you remembered yesterday's big headline? Or recalled the now infamous mugshot? Couple that with all the calls/texts I'm sure we've all had from friends in lower places and the embarrassment easily triples.


And that's no way to make a decision. Right now I don't really want a DUI offender in charge of 600 student athletes in Athens. I don't want a possible (...probable...) adulterer making hires within Butts-Mehre. But who's to say that after Ed Tolley does some work and the videotape runs its course that I can't be talked away from the ledge? I mean, do I really want Prez Adams hand choosing another AD when we've already dodged that bullet and came away smelling like English Privet? 


Yesterday I was mostly focused on prayers for Damon's wife and kids. Today I'll simply add that the powers that be make the best decision for Georgia.




Sidebar - For a superior read on the decision on Adams' desk, click over to Dean Legge's article. It's dead on.

Evans' Career Circling a Turd

I'm not really in a position (read: cell phone, limited WiFi) to go into a lot of detail. But this story is just too bizarre and ridiculous to not weigh in.

• Why does our current AD not have a driver? For what I gather and remember, Dooley always did.
• Then again, maybe Evans prefers his driver not be privy to his extra-curriculars.
• My guess is that Evans resigns. If he doesn't I'm guessing we're giving him another chance since he's going to be at the presser in an hour.
• I think Evans is a great AD that was on the verge of superstardom. I hate to lose him. I just don't see how the UGA Athletic office can be so hypocritical to keep its head man.
• And if they do, the ridiculousness will be tenfold when the next UGA student-athlete is suspended (or worse) do to an alcohol related offense.

Most importantly, I'm a big family first person. So while everyone focuses on Damon Evans' career at the press conference, I'll be more worried about his wife and kids. It's one thing to wake up in a jail cell fresh from a night of douchebaggery and lose your job. It's a lot more to lose your family.

At Home in the Dome?

Weiszer of the ABH reports that Damon Evans is as yet undecided on whether or not the Dawgs would squash the bugs in the GA Dome to open the 2011 season or wait until the regularly scheduled time in late November as we all enjoy a free coke and hot dog.

A wrinkle for the iron: we're currently scheduled to open the '11 season at home against Louisville. I couldn't find a 2011 Louisville schedule, but here's our tentative slate. The biggest hurdle seems to be getting Louisville to move the matchup and/or finding a different dance partner for November 26th, 2011.

Or just walking away from the possibility.

This discussion of moving Tech's home game in the series to the GA Dome came up several years ago from some Tech sources, if memory serves. At the time, all of the Tech friends I reached (in truth, there's just one) were incensed at the idea. The thought of playing the game in the Dome where even MORE Dawg fans would scarf up abandoned and ignored Tech tickets was too much to stomach.

Must've been a Dave Braine idea. I miss that guy almost as much as Gailey.

To the issue of fan support, I would add the issue of speed. Throw away the fact that the Dawgs played the second half of last season's game as if we were ankle deep in quick sand, and the reality is that (historically) Georgia is the faster team. Tech doesn't want to play this game on the Dome's turf. Case in point - last year's Chick-Fil-A Bowl.

Regardless, Tech is at Stokan's table. Damon's seat is waiting should he choose to sit down. What're your thoughts?

Saturday DawgNews

Turns out, Ohio State brought a bag of softballs to Tallahassee. 

The Diamond Dawgs exploded for season highs in runs, hit and total bases on their way to 24-8 weather-delayed butt whoopin'. They'll take on the host Seminoles today at 4pm (tv ESPNU, radio 960theRef).

• UGAs Track and Field is heading into the weekend tied with Tech in the NCAA East Regional up in Greensboro. Note to readers: always stand behind junior Chris Hill when he's throwing the javelin.
• Mark Bradley has us losing four games this fall...one of which is to NATS. We're meeting at 9pm to go roll his house. Bring at least two rolls of TP and a healthy dose of angst.
• Damon Evans is bringing home a BIG wad of cash from Destin.
• Lastly, you may have heard that Erin Andrews wants to wear skimpy outfits and dance around on a reality tv show. Over at Blogging Pantsless, Mackie has you set up with a useful list.

If you have a spare couple a hours and just love being outside in the yard...my lawn could use some attention. Preeesheeate it!

Welcome to Stegeman Coach Fox

...an eager, deserving fan base awaits.

Bernie's take:

• the swing and miss at Anderson takes away from this hire most of the shine
• the time Evans had, the very public and debated hiring of a search firm, the telling omission of Grant for the interviewees list, the ridiculous rumorings of Capel and the size of the checkbook Evans was working from made this hire a spectacle early and often
  
• Fox is a quality hire that reflects where this program is on the college basketball landscape: eager to dunk (Anderson), settling for a modest layup (Fox) and avoiding the turnover (another year of Felton)
• I'm eager to find out details of the deal
• Terrance Moore is NOT gonna like this one at all

Reader, link yo'self!

Towers broke the story

Mark Fox Bio

PWDs rundown (plus a plethora of comments, most of which are coherent)

The Schlabach & Katz Show

A Hale-ian Wrap-up

The Coaching Search Just Went out for Recess

And it's kinda like a free-for-all.

The only thing that is relatively certain is that Damon Evans is not set to hire any of these guys -

Another relative certainty is that Calipari is headed to Lexington. PWD at Georgia Sports Blog has a rundown of the rumor mill including what is fact, speculation and just plain fun to read. And David Hale has two shiny pennies that easily add up to his two cents.

What do I think will happen? I think we're about to sit down at the high rollers table and hopefully will walk away with our new hoops coach. If someone has a better hand we may know by the weekend what our Plan B is.

And I'd rather never find out.

UPDATE: Calipari decided to "lemme sleep on it" before he travels to that paradise by the dashboard light, AHEM!. Lexington. And PWD has his eyes on travel logs.

Tunnel Vision vs. the Bigger Picture

Has anyone checked on KiffyBaby in a while? He's been awfully quiet....

But Damon's not. Slap that punk again Evans! And somebody ring Kitten's doorbell and tell his mommy to let him come out and play... We need a warm body for kill the man with the ball.

(Cold transition in three...two...one...) Kwame Geathers should end his collegiate decision holdout today. The lineman is kin to Robert Geathers (of UGA bloodline) and Clifton Geathers (chicken bloodline). But he's evidently eliminated the visor from his list of buddies. UPDATE - KWAME'S A DAWG. 

Hmm...CMR, a resume doctor or a toddler trapped in the body of a pre-teen...

(Colder transition..) The older I get the easier I find it to avoid tunnel vision. Like a fool, in younger days I would fall into the traps of main stream media. ESPN...the Piped Piper, and me...a rat in aimless tune.

Now I can find the bigger picture much easier. You know, the story that is not as sexy and alluring as A-Rod Comes Clean. Yet, is actually more important. Parents Clean Kid's Closet, Rid Shelves of Juiced Jerseys.

Recruiting season just ended, or commenced...depending on your frame of reference. There's a LARGE number of people that hang on the edge of their keyboard awaiting word from a high school gymnasium. Only to get totally bent out of shape when a 17 year old chooses another school.

Suddenly, the next Herschel Walker becomes a bum, potential non-qualifier, likely bench warmer...or something more damning.

I don't think I've ever been that limited in scope (ok...maybe once...), but to use the home theater section of BestBuy as an analogy...I admit I have found myself stuck in the 19-22" section. Endlessly watching sports stories go by in monochromatic small screen bliss.

Reality these days comes in giant screen HDTV truth; 52" 1080p LCD glory. Take these examples:

• If a Dawg recruit decides to go elsewhere I have two conclusions: 1) best of luck to ya! and 2) we only wanted true Dawgs anyway.
• A-Roid is an even bigger hemorrhoid. He was a piece of trash before the presser, but one that could sit a spell in the trashcan; now he's just a bigger, smellier piece of refuse wrapped in rotting nanner peels and shrimp shells - that needs to go out immediately.
• I'm more concerned with the kids I interact with and my own two younguns. They'll be raised with the character to resist cousins donning needles with ill intent and to produce earnest apologies. Not fret over getting caught.
• Bobby Knight. Sexy name in college basketball. And great coach...once upon a time.
• When Lil' Kiff slams CMRs recruitin' practices and makes veiled references at Georgia's character...I just laugh. In as little as a year from now, CMR will be in Butts-Mehre doin' his thang. Kiffykins will be living in Oldman Kiffin's basement and on his third attempt at a GED. 

Punk! Slap him again Evans! Don't feel so nice now that

the fog has lifted, huh? 

Lane.  I swear, if God comes down and hands you a baby...Name it Lane. She'd be a pretty girl.

If anyone has Mike Hamilton's number, give that lame duck a call. Tell him we're ready for ol' KiffyBaby to come out and take the podium again. The SEC blogosphere is depending on him dadgummit! But in related news, Mike Slive has enjoyed his Excedrin free week. He may even get to enjoy his happy hour tonight without a call from Cheryl. 

And don't forget that the Diamond Dawgs baseball season starts today. If you can't make it to Foley, you can keep up with all the action against Youngstown State FREE! First pitch of the season today @ 5pm on Gxtra.

So to put a great big red bow on this edition, don't sweat the lil' stuff. An economic stimulus is comin'. Do your taxes, obey the speed limit and we'll sing Glory, Glory together soon. But for now, in the immortal words of Frasier Crane (via some bloddy bloke named Jack Hues) - "Everybody have fun tonight...(all together now..) Everybody Wang Chung tonight!"

Bernie