the Friday Misery isn't scared of blue cats

/checks calendar

Full moons. Jason Vorhees' hockey mask. Walmart parking lots. Presidential elections. Snakes. Sharks. Women driving in the left lane on the interstate with one hand on the mascara brush and the other holding their triple non-soy half-caff mocha latte. Black cats. Hell, most cats! They freak me out man!

Those are some things to be afraid of. A blue cat trying to shoot a three point shot with a football from their own 25 yard line.

Nope.

the Bourbon Trail's Tales

The Keeneland crew!

So yes, we've taken to venturing up yonder in the spring. Keeneland is an amazing venue, where memories to be made are ripe for the picking. Taking pictures with our ladies all dolled up. Chris trying to herd us like a group of 8 year olds a full year off their hyperactivity meds. Kelley nerding out over the race bulletin. Heath and I getting absorbed into a bachelorette party for pictures against the rail. Tommy Guns nearly leaving a winning ticket worth hundreds behind!

Just lying there. Next to a puddle mixture of bourbon, melted ice, champagne, and a hint of Tommy's homemade cologne. 

There was also the first time I went up for a Georgia/Kentucky tilt. Celebrating the win with Tony's crew, we were about to run out of bourbon. So Wayne and I walked stumbled up to the local CVS's liquor aisle to replenish. 

Yes you read that correctly.

Shorter versions: early morning conversations in the snakes at Buffalo Trace, waxing your own bottle in Loretto (not a euphemism), Bluegrass Tavern, bundled up for a noon kickoff and sitting next to the Redcoats!

from business decisions, to game time ones

The writing was on the wall for both Brock Vandergriff and Jamon Dumas-Johnson: the 3rd string QB wasn't going to have significant playing time, and the former starting middle backer was seeing it significantly diminish right before his very eyes. So they packed up and caravanned up to the Blue Grass State.

CJ Allen on a previous kitty hunt

It was the right decision. Probably still is for both. JDJ is off to a good start. Vandergriff struggled mightily against the Gamechickens, but that Kentucky O-line is terrible. Like swiss cheese that has aged poorly. I mean, they were so bad you could see their mommas leaving the game early. They were so bad I hear Stoops made them attend classes this week. They were so bad, their professors sent them back! Oof.

That's bad. But there was a moment earlier in the week when I thought, why shouldn't Stoops start (checks notes) Gavin Wimsatt at quarterbacker. Our coaches and most of our players don't need tape on their former player and teammate. 

Things Bernie types that make you go "Hmmm...". But for our side we know what's what. Beck and his boys bring their pimp walk to Kroger Field, while CJ Allen uses his helmet communicator thingy ma-jig to direct blitzes and the what-nots.

We held these guys to under 200 yards last season, with just 50 something rushing. I for one believe there's a chance to do something even worse to these kitties tomorrow night.

Another game time decision...24 point spread? Wow. That's a LOT!

"Thank you sir may I have another?!"

Screw it! Lay the points! I don't know if Vandergriff starts but he sure as shit ain't finishing! Go Dawgs!

An Old-Fashioned Don Draper

Remember when Kentucky was sexy, they were trendy. They beat the florida fightin' gators in the swamp after a 300 year drought and suddenly the "Wild"cats are hot shit on a tin roof. They had "super talented Will Levis Dungarees slingin' the rock. LOLOL!! They were who Tennessee is now - the team people want to pick in the summer so they might look like they know something come falling leaves season.

Turns out, these so called "experts" think 12 personnel is code for sneaking an extra player onto the field. Their dad was a knuckle-dragger and their very own are starting to need some bactine and band-aids. They're chasing the spotlight when they are meant for the dim lighting in mom's basement.

Because the truth is, these Wildcats are staler than that half pack of Marlboro Reds that has been lodged in between seat rows of Kroger Double Fuel Points! Stadium section 222 since the late '90s. After A&M slammed the door on him, Stoops whined in the off season about Wildcat fans stepping up with some NIL money, but for his tackle football players this time. Then he rewarded said fans by losing the SEC opener, at home, to Shane Beamer's travelling cluckers.

Wildcat football donors are so pissed they're diggin up old VHS tapes of Tim Couch and Coach Mumme's days to get them through to basketball season. 

Now, please remove your snap back caps and bow your heads...Dear Almighty Lord, please generously provide our backs room to roam free and Beck the time to spread the wealth. And not just the NIL kind. In the name of Rex Robinson's whatchamacallit, Amen!

Tasty suggestions for Dawgs going to Lexington

A group of us head to Keeneland each April to watch the ponies take our money and to make some distillery visits. I know the Kentucky trip is always a popular one for Dawg fans. I've made it a handful of times. The trip has that Venn diagram sweet spot for us - Georgia Football, bourbon tastings, and good food!

All that being said, I wanted to share a couple new spots we found the last two trips we made.

Spring of 2023 we were finishing up at Woodford, and ventured a couple miles down the road along Glenns Creek to Castle & Key. Originally built by none other than Col. Edmund Hayes Taylor Jr., it quickly became a very popular stop. And not just for the spirits, but also the beauty of the land as well as the buildings themselves. But like with so many distilleries, the government got in the way in 1920 and Prohibition saw the distillery's doors close.

After nearly a century of some other failed ventures and plenty of decline and decay, it was rediscovered in 2012 by Will Arvin. Despite it's caved in rooves and dilapidated architecture, Arvin saw its inner beauty. By 2018, it had re-opened its doors and was a full functioning distillery again. They have a great tour and delicious cocktails. I'm not a fan of gin, but theirs is the most unique version (non-piney) I've ever tasted. The bourbon is coming along, as it just recently hit their gift shop. But I like the rye, which I believe they started selling in 2020.

Great stop for history buffs and those that just wanna sit on a relaxing day and sip a cocktail. Castle & Key opens on Friday and Saturday at 10:30, close at 5:00. On Sunday they open at 11:00.

Then last year we found Whiskey Thief Distilling Co., previously known as Three Boys Farm. I love the history of Maker's Mark, Woodford and now Castle & Key's grounds, buildings, and whiskey. And Buffalo Trace is always a must, especially if they're shelving one of those rare ones you need stock on.

Admittedly, the tour at Whiskey Thief is not nearly as deep an experience at those others. But the views, the food truck, some live music, great bar, the views! This place also stands out for an experience you can't get anywhere else. Sure, you can pay for a customized bottle at Woodford. You can buy a bottle and dip it in that red wax at Maker's. 

But have you every thieved your own bottle of whiskey?

And the whiskey is good! They do a good job of going through their flavor profiles and how they "build" different tastes. Which is good for both newcomers and experienced whiskey afficionados so that everyone can buy the bottle they want. You can grab one off the shelf, or tell them you want to fill it with a thief and get the full experience.

Whiskey Thief is open Friday and Saturday 10-5 and they open at 11 on Sundays.

I'm unable to go this year, but if we were we'd hit BT early Friday (hopefully for some Wellers), then Woodford, Castle & Key, then finish the day at Whiskey Thief, which is still in Frankfort about 20 minutes away. Nice long tailgate on Saturday, before hitting Maker's Mark down in Loretto on the way home.

National Landscape, week two

 Wow, what a difference a weekend makes. Because just last week I wrote this:

"Notre Dame has the best track into the CFB Playoffs."

I typed those words because the "Fighting" Irish are both independent and have a super soft schedule. Fresh off a road win over A&M, heading into this past weekend, their toughest test seemed to be a neutral site game (Atlanta's Benz Dome) against GA Tech. Then the Northern Illinois Salukis got off the bus in South Bend. I mean, this schedule is so soft they get FSU at home!

The Irish can still make the playoffs, and likely will given the media's obsession with them. But my broader point is hoo boy, things changed quickly!

I think my feelings in the SEC are the same as last week: Georgia a clear favorite as we prepare to begin our conference slate. I still believe the SEC enjoys getting four more spots. But I'd put Texas ahead of Alabama, and Tennessee ahead of Ole Miss.

Same for the ACC. Clemson rebounded nicely, while the Hurricanes' win over florida fails to impress me much.

Everyone is putting a lot of stock in Nebraska after the Huskers kicked Deion's merry band of transfer portals to the curb. For now, I'll stick with Penn State out of the Big10 and I am penciling in Ohio State.

In the Big 12, Arizona State edged out Mississippi State at home. But I'm sticking with that regular season ending matchup between UCF and Utah as the conference's biggest game.

So all in all, except for Notre Dame dropping out, this week's ranking is very similar to last week's. I just had to decide who to place in the Irish's spot. I ruminated, argued with a wall, and then eventually watched a monkey fling poo at said wall. Went with a third Big 10 team. Congrats Ducks!

1. Georgia (bye)
2. Penn State (bye)
3. Utah (bye)
4. Clemson (bye)
5. Texas (hosts)
6. Ohio State (hosts)
7. Alabama
8. Tennessee
9. Ole Miss
10. UCF
11. Oregon
12. Boise State

And I also decided last week's closing will continue to end this weekly post indefinitely. Those are at least some intriguing matchups in Round 1. $till not $old on making the $ea$on thi$ long. But I'd watch, and I gue$$ that'$ why they expanded, right?