Yes, Virginia......Bernie is Coming for Christmas

Surely you've noticed the haste with which this edition has found its way to the foot of your tree. BDB will be taking a much needed break to venture north along that beautiful stretch of interstate between the Mall of Georgia and Petersburg.

The journey may begin Friday afternoon, but between potty stops, gasoline fill ups, the notorious DVD switch from The Little Mermaid to Madagascar, dinner at some Wendy's the '90s left behind, the less popular DVD switch from Madagascar to Cinderella II and a Charlotte NC traffic jam or two .......

It'll be early Saturday morning before the Tahoe loaded to bear with suitcases, Christmas presents and empty french fry containers pulls in to the in-laws. How Santa does it, I'll never know.

News outta Athens this week..........Stafford, Allen, Atkins and Moreno have officially dipped their toes into the waters of the NFL. They'll have until January 15th to decide if the feedback they get is worth putting on their NFL swimsuit a year (or two) early or not. For the best rundown, check out David Hale's Media Notes on his Bulldogs Blog. (BTW - I asked DH about Owens, he said he would check the next time the big guy was available to the media, likely Friday. UPDATE - Bulldogs Blog reports that Owens says he's definitely staying. Use the link to discover another nugget.....)

This week I've begun reminiscing of a few years ago when David Pollack was faced with the decision of forgoing his amateur status for NFL stardom or staying in Athens to study and attend class. Particularly with Stafford and Moreno, there has been this feeling since '06 like they would leave Athens as beloved as any other Dawg. Should they choose to go, it won't take as long to clean out their locker as it did Greene, DJ, Pollack, Musa, Brown....others. Knowshon would leave some breath taking highlights, Stafford some impressive throws. (image SI.com)

When Pollack decided to stay, he became even more endearing to the Bulldog Faithful. Willing to sacrifice a nice paycheck for another year on campus was both enlightening and encouraging amid today's society of instant gratification.

On that day he became Bernie's favorite all-time Dawg. Let's open the phone lines.......Who's your favorite Dawg?

Dawg Bones

• Sounds like CMR isn't expecting any casualties from the classroom heading into Bowl preps. I don't know about you, but I'm anxious to hear the crack! of pads coming from the Butts-Mehre backyard.


• I keep rinsing and repeating, but I just can't get the taste of that poor, poor defensive performance against Tech out of my mouth. And January 1st is still a ways away.


• Take this Techies! UGA graduates enjoy a better value for their post-secondary education. We're not delivering your pizza anymore, we're hiring the high school kids to do it for us.


• Georgia back-up punter Drew Butler is evidently trying to get one of his Sugarloaf neighbors (Matt Ryan) to play a round of golf with Matthew Stafford. Hey Drew, if ya need a fourth......???


• If they do tee it up together, I'm guessing Ryan will fall in line with Archie Manning as advising Stafford to stay. Wonder if Peyton (that makes a great girl's name doesn't it?) and Eli will also get a chance to speak to the Dawg QB.


• TotalUGA.com reports the recruitment of the much sought after receiver Marlon Brown will likely come down to Georgia and the hillbillys. Ohio State among others also are in the mix. If Brown does choose Tennessee it will obviously be because of their new head coach's experience in running a high achieving, professional and respected program like the Raiders.


• Brown is in town on Saturday for an UNofficial visit. Let's hope it goes better than his Official visit, the Dawg's loss to Bama.


• And there is no truth to the rumor that CPJ will use the bulk of his new $17 million contract with Georgia Tech to finance a Dawg fighting operation. BDB has recently learned that the Dawg killer is actually a cat lover. All together now.....Awwww!

Friday's Feedbag

• BREAKING NEWS: BRETT FAVRE MAY RETIRE!


• And in what may be bigger news, Plax hasn't shot himself in the upper thigh in nearly three weeks.


• One of the best games on the entire bowl schedule may be Tuesday night's Poinsetta (did I spell that right Jenn?) Bowl. One of the nation's most powerful offenses in Boise State meets the nation's second best defense in TCU. Both coaches were heavily rumored on the coaching carousel, but got off the same place they got on. It may come down to which team was less distracted.

• BDB is thinking about organizing a winter field trip to see the Vince Dooley tribute. With the weather and the crappy game, just never made it over there the day the Wreck wrecked the streak.


• And you know what's within a couple blocks of the Dooley Tribute........Steve's. Steak and Cheese all the way and a dozen hot wings. OH YEAH!


• Statesboro Anonymous offers THIS LINK to you gentlemen who are waiting to the last minute to buy your wife or significant other a mop or an umbrella for Christmas.


• Six shopping days left reader!

Sudden Death Playoff Trivia - It's been two issues of BDB since the question was asked and we spent some time airing some grievances Monday. Well........turns out BDB does indeed have Seinfeld fans that thumb through its pages. Within hours of Monday's blog posting, we had a number of comments and emails, like .........nearly eight.
YadaYadaYada....Let's get to the prizes. The following made Bernie both chuckle and laugh uncontrollably, in no particular order:

• Erin's Seinfeldism on tabloid reading: "I think that people who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to."


• Nama's favorite episode is obviously The Chinese Restuarant as he submitted several doozies from that early show. Hard to compete with, "You're going by sound? What are we, whales?"


• Fred jumped into BDBs cyberspace with a "play" on The Serenity Now episode, blending it with Auburn's struggles to overcome their own ineptitude: "Mediocrity now!" Well done Fred, well done!


• Cord may hold the Penske file, but that doesn't prohibit him from reaching into The Abstinence episode to grab this classic from Jackie (the Cochranesque lawyer): "Miss Wilkie, your tobacco company has turned this beautiful specimen, into a horrible twisted freak."


• And Joe couldn't decide on just one, there's just so many right? My favorite among his offerings comes from The Marine Biologist, "The sea was angry that day my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli."

Enjoy your Festivus Pole everyone. At the BDB family dinner, you all will NOT be listed among those who have disappointed me this past year. You're all winners in my book!

Trivia - When Rusty says, "Dad, this tree won't fit in our backyard. " How does Clark Griswold respond? Winner gets a brand new dual bag vacuum....to give to your wife for Christmas. "It's the best vacuum cleaner you'll ever have baby."

And with that another chapter of BDB comes to a close. We'll be back after a long weekend with a special Holiday version of BDB. Until then I leave you with the wise words of George Costanza: "Do you ever get down on your knees and just thank God that you know me and have access to my dementia?"

I'm sure your answer is.......some days.

Gotta run. These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Bernie

Auburn Officials are Full of Chizik........

Chizik is off the Chizzang!

Auburn has a new leader and his name is Snoop Dogg. Or at least it might as well be.

Mike Leach had an 11-1 record this season in the Big XII, but wasn't even given a glance. Gene Chizik went 2-10 this season in the Big XII and was given the keys to one of the top programs in the nation. You can officially place the Auburn faithful into two groups right now. Those with the word HUH? continuously hanging from their lips and those that are a little too quick to defend the hire.

You know, they say something like, "He's our coach and I support him. (long pause) DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO WIN IN AMES?!?!?" Simmer down, simmer down.

Yes, Chizik won just 5 games while sipping his gin and juice during his tenure at Iowa State. But he lost his last ten and needed victories over Kent State and South Dakota State this season to avoid going o-for '08. From 2-0 to 2-10. Ouch! And don't think that he had the uneviable task of playing Oklahoma, Texas and Texas Tech. Cuz he didn't have to line up against any of them.

So, does Chizik have any ties to Garner? I dunno. But there are rumblings that part of the breakdown between Tuberville and Jacobs was their interest in releasing some assistant coaches from their duties and Tubs' loyalty to them. If that was a line in the sand, I would expect that Auburn officials would have a few names for Chizik to call.

Word on the street is Martinez isn't one of them.

But I would be surprised if we're not looking for a new defensive and offensive line coach in as little as a week. Both Searels and Garner are Auburn alums and former players and would be bigger losses than Moreno, Owens, Stafford and Allen put together. You can bet Pat Dye has already recommended them to Snoop....er...I mean Chizik. In fact, is that Tammy Mettenberger's phone ringing right now......

Heisman Trophy goes to a quarterback

So Tebow is left off of 109 ballots and yet gets more first place votes than Bradford. Congrats to Mr. Bradford and he is very deserving of this award, but it sounds like the Heisman voting could use an electoral college to further screw things up.

Bradford owes a BIG thank you to both voters with agendas and faulty tie breakers in the Big XII. Most voters waited until after last week's games to cast their ballot. McCoy probably should've won the trophy but didn't play. And the other finalist finished playing four hours before Bradford. This was a case of who holds the ball last, wins.

Dawgs put academic exams behind them, prepare for gridiron exam

News outta Athens is slow leading up to bowl preparations. It might be a good time to peek around and see what some other more knowledgeable writers are offering up.

First stop, David Hale has a two part interview with Damon Evans posted to his blog. I found his take on the season and more importantly the status of the program particularly refreshing.The man is obviously a good administrator with great leadership skills. Jay Jacobs ! Pay attention! Athens Banner-Herald's Marc Wesier ran a piece on the bonuses that are in store for the coaching staff. See if you think the numbers add up. Rivals has the bowl games ranked in terms of best to worst. Click HERE for The Dead Guy's run down of the SEC side of things or HERE to go straight to Rivals.

Exams are now over and practices will begin to pick up. I guess we'll also know soon if there are any academic casualties that get left behind as the team heads to sunny Florida. Meanwhile, let's get to some............

Shout outs:

• Atlanta Falcons coach Mike Smith for getting all up in Antonio Bryant's grill and showing him the way to his own sideline. Politely.
• Christine Nama for making sure dinner Saturday night wasn't Spumoni free. Ahh! You go girl!
• Munk for the following YouTube clickable. All together now: Fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra!
• ALL the talent at the W Hotel Saturday night. It was nice to get a glimpse of how the other half lives............ among other things.
• The nine Brian Nichols jury members who saw reason and argued on the side of logic.

Suspensions:

• The other three jurors.

Monday Leftovers:

• Last year this time we were all geek'd up about eh Dawgs' finish to the '07 season and were peeking ahead at the '08 schedule. It looked daunting at the time, but proved to be not so bad with teams like ASU, Tenn and Auburn failing to reach acceptable levels of competition in tackle football. Next year ain't no walk in the park. Will it also prove to be deceptive?
• And when I pored over the '08 schedule in August I thought 10-2 would be great. 9-3 ain't too far south of that, but it sure doesn't even feel good. I guess it's been several years since we've lost to both the reptiles and insects.
• Cheer up War Eagles. At least your coach is old enough to vote.
• Dan Mullen, newly appointed head coach of the Mississippi State Bulldogs will likely not call the plays in the National Championship game next month. Tebow says the Gators could handle the duty "by committee." I've already submitted a few I thought they should run, cc'd to one Bob Stoops, Norman OK.
• And one last link for you to pore over. January 15th is the deadline to declare for the NFL Mega Millions Lottery. Todd McShay alludes to a possibility that this year's crop of undeclassmen leaving early could increase by as much as 33%. No surprise that he lists both Stafford and Moreno as likely leaving.

And to wrap things up, the tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I've got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're gonna hear about it! Last week's trivia was a complete bust. BDB had one entry. It included a brief excuse and a Wikipedia link, that didn't link. Not exactly a Festivus Miracle.

But rules are rules and the Festivus Pole must go to someone. So the person that submits their favorite Seinfeld quote that makes Bernie chuckle out loud will win the playoff round. And will gain a leg up on the feats of strength.

Have a great week reader. Only 9 shopping days left.

Bernie