the Friday Misery doesn't want Abuurn's company

If a group of young men decide to use paint to express their school spirit, it is generally praised and welcomed by other fans. If said paint is to be used to spell words, it adds a delicate layer of importance in regards to placement.

Trust me, I was once the "W" in DAWGS for a winner take the SEC conference crown matchup in Stegeman Coliseum between Hugh Durham's basketball team and LSU's Tigers. And sure enough, when the camera did aim in our direction, the five of us were in the correct order. There was no confusion as to why we were rooting for "DWASG" or "ADSWG".

Then there's these dipshits from the plains.

Hey, any idiot can throw a roll of toilet paper...you know, in the event their War Eagle Tiger Plainsmen win a tackle football game. But it takes a special group of mouth breathing, illiterate dumbasses to misspell their school's name whilst calling so much attention to themselves with painted bare chests.

the Deep South's Oldest Rivalry

This game used to define friendly rivalry. These football programs have a history intertwined and woven into the very fabric of their being. Most notably: Vince Dooley was an Auburn man before he moved to Athens; and Pat Dye was a Georgia guy before settling in West Opelika.

Good boy Magillicuddy! (via)

There was even a time about 10 years ago when the series record was not only tied, but the total points scored were remarkably close. Georgia at Auburn in 1996 produced the SEC's first tiebreaker. Uga V tried to take a bite out of Auburn's Robert Baker, which brought the Georgia team out of the doldrums and we came back from a 28-7 deficit to force the OT.

But time has not been kind to this Auburn football program. They are the team you thought of when you were ever posed the question: would you rather win a national championship and then go through years of CFB purgatory, or have a consistent team that always at least makes a bowl game?

They paid Cecil Newton for his son, won the natty, everyone bailed, and they're on their fifth head coach since winning the 2010 BCS trophy. Worse than that, they've become whiny little pissants that get to play two home games against Georgia in back to back years. They not only yell obscenities at a coach on his way out, but also on his way in! 

They're miserable humans. I mean I don't approve of what Harvey Updyke did, but I get it. It's tiring listening to them complain when a call doesn't go their way, when they can't figure out which shoe is for their right foot, who their true mascot is, why their personal pan pizza is SOOO hot, and when it turns out the story their coach having an illicit affair was falsely reported by one of their own!

Maybe misery does love company, but go kick rocks Auburn fan. Sick of your shit!

10th Magnolia Avenue freeeezze out!

It's so fitting that Auburn bought out Harsin's contract just to bring in noted slut shaming Mr. School Issued Burner Phone, just so they could beat Saban's mighty Alabama. You know, the way Freeze did when he was racking up NCAA violations at Ole Miss. How's it working out? Well, Bama beat the War Tigers last season by a field goal, Freeze finished his inaugural season on the Plains at 7-6, then Saban retired.

And it's been downhill since for the little war tigers and Coach Freeze. Instead of developing quarterback talent, ol' Hugh has taken to bad mouthing his personnel to the media, radio show listeners, his wife, their equipment crew, or just about anyone who will listen. Or at least pretend to.

You weep reap what you sow little brother! This is the resume for the guy you hired:

1. engaged in rampant recruiting violations at Ole Miss
2. blamed a former coach for the violations, thereby opening up a defamation lawsuit by Houston Nutt
3. Nutt's attorneys then discovered the escort service calls, dating back to when he landed in Oxford
4. And definitely worst of all, while head coach at Liberty, DM'd a sexual assault survivor that had been critical of the school's hiring of Baylor's former AD who had been part of its unchecked sexual assaults by Baylor student athletes.

Wow. But this is the fanbase that celebrated Trooper's towel and Fairley's late hits. So we hope you are ready for your whoopin' Barners! Then you can continue to enjoy your stroll through Purgatory. Now, let's bow our heads...Lord, please keep Coach Freeze away from Chip Towers' Toppers this weekend. And please let his team's offense continue to be abundantly inept at protecting the football. Amen!

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In memory of the great Senator Blutarsky. He did not care for Auburn. Sir, I hope you enjoy this one from your spot upstairs. Go Dawgs!

National landscape, week five. The Tide rises!

This week finds another shakeup in my poll as well as the SEC. Alabama's 1st half beat down followed by its 4th quarter resiliency forces Texas out of the top spot. Beating Georgia is a quality win. The Longhorns defeat of Michigan (even though that one was on the road) isn't nearly as shiny.

Let's get straight to it.

1. Alabama (bye)
2. Oregon (bye)
3. BYU (bye)
4. Clemson (bye)
5. Texas (hosts)
6. Ohio State (hosts)
7. Georgia (hosts)
8. Michigan (hosts)
9. Tennessee 
10. Texas Tech
11. Penn State
12. Boise State

Sticking with four teams in the SEC. Ole Miss could play their way back in, but Missouri has the easier path. Alabama goes from 7 to 1 as they look the most ready for a post-season run. Meanwhile, Texas drops from 1 to 5, and therefore Georgia drops from 5 to 7. Tennessee stays put.

From there, things get muddy quickly.

In the Big10, I'm sticking with Oregon getting the conference's bye. Ohio State and Penn State I believe will be the other contenders. The Nittany Lions move into this week's poll thanks to UCF's loss to Deion Sanders' ego Colorado. Indiana and Michigan lead the conference with 2-0 records.

Over in the Big12, Utah's loss takes them out completely. I suspect they'll remain in contention however. And I hope the Utes bounce back, because after BYU there is Texas Tech and Colorado. The Red Radiers grab the 10 spot with the toss of a coin.

Lastly, I'm giving the Group of 5 spot to Boise State. The Broncos are the highest ranked G5 team in the AP, while UNLV is ranked in the Coaches Poll. I went with the Broncos because Ashton Jeanty is chasing record books and a Heisman trophy, not NIL money (that I know of).

Anyway, as always, we close this weekly post with this: Those are at least some intriguing matchups in Round 1. $till not $old on making the $ea$on thi$ long. But I'd watch, and I gue$$ that'$ why they expanded, right?

Digesting Alabama

My first point is most important, to those that wanna blame Mike Bobo...was this your first experience watching a football game?

We had the correct game plan. We didn't have the proper execution. And while you can, in some manner, blame the coaches for the latter, you cannot blame them for the former.

via

We needed to be aggressive offensively. We needed to stretch the Crimson Tide defense. And we did just that with two deep balls on the opening drive. After a drop by Smith, and a catch by Lovett that was negated by an offensive pass interference call. After that, the offense spent roughly 23 minutes of game clock as a shell of itself.

Defensively, I'm perplexed as to how to defend Jalen Milroe. Back in December we frequently spied him, sometimes with two linebackers. That didn't work. Heading into Saturday night's contest, I thought we'd have more success since (I thought) he didn't have as many weapons. We played a lot of zone coverage to keep our eyes on the ball, and he still torched us.

Kudos to DeBoer and his staff. Kudos to the Alabama players. The Tide knocked us to our knees before we got to the second commercial break.

But hats off to our team for not giving up. That second half was an epic turnaround. Beck shook the cobwebs loose. Lawson Luckie had his best game. And Bobo had Alabama on their heels. 

And we had the lead for about 13 seconds. Then it was over.

Hopefully a Homecoming matchup against Auburn can provide a reset. Although it seems a reset at least started in the halftime locker room Saturday night.