Friday, November 11, 2011

Friday misery, chapter 9: pass the roll Mr. Whipple

Let's keep this streak going. You can take the plain man out of the little village, but that doesn't mean he ain't gonna act like a little bitch.


Add orange body paint to generational incest, and
this is what you get.
It's Auburn. 'Tween the Hedges. It's the Deep South's oldest rivalry. Does anyone know what two schools play in the South's Oldest Rivalry? No. Because they're two insignificant teams from the wine and cheese hoops conference. Football in November is practically defined by Georgia vs. Auburn. Uncle Verne. Falling leaves. Beautiful UGA coeds. And stupid Opelika frat boys that can't spell to save their school.


The ties that bind
This series is wound tighter than Terry Tater-tot on a week long meth pipe frenzy. Just 38 points separate the total points between the teams in the 114 meetings. Auburn leads the series by just two games. The schools have shared locations of the contest: Atlanta, Columbus, Macon, Montgomery, even Savannah. They've shared players turned coaches such as Dooley, Erk and Pat Dye. If either team is in the hunt for the SEC crown, it is usually this game that decides whether that hunt is successful or not.

It's been described as a family affair, but it's never been overly friendly and it certainly has enough hate to go around. There've been hoses and brutal hits. After the refs and Auburn coaches allowed Aaron Murray to be treated like a crash test dummy in last year's meeting, it made Junior Rosegreen look like a saint.


I don't want to be bound to these lyin', cheatin', WWE wannabes anymore. I want to stomp them into submission, kick them into oblivion and then trade them to the Big East for a bag of peanuts.


Ranked spanked, thank ya m'am!
There's been a few monkeys that this Georgia team has gotten off of Coach Richt's back in 2011. But one that is still hanging on is that he hasn't beaten a ranked opponent since Clinton left office...no, that's not true. But it's a weight that feels a lot like a soiled blue dress anyway.


Just like this new attitude carried us in Jacksonville, we need leave that inferiority complex in the past. This team doesn't blink when down two touchdowns. They don't flinch when a <quote>National Championship<unquote> team comes out of our tunnel either. 

Now THAT!!..is how you go
"all in". Ya knucklehead.
Crank the buzzsaw Crowell and let these wartiglesmen run right into it. Rip their #24 ranking into ribbons and send them beyond others receiving votes.


Payback can be a little bitch too.


Wright? Wrong.
You have to give credit to Nick Fairley for one thing, he knew how to play defensive tackle. He couldn't play the position with a modicum of integrity, but he could shed blockers like they were 100% cotton t-shirts.


Gabe Wright...just sit your ass down son and listen to me. I know you treated your recruitment like a dance on the 4th grade playground. But this is the SEC damnit. You wanna talk, shut your mouth until it's your turn. And when it is your turn, tell the truth. Cuz we all know that you're just full of piss and vinegar over the fact that your "announcement" was upstaged by a 12lb puppy and a tailback that you still can't tackle.


Ben Jones is gonna bury your ass boy! You might as well stay in Opelika and babysit Trooper and Philmer's lovechild. Otherwise it ain't gonna be pretty.


To say the Auburn...(ahem!...excuse me...) Abuurn fans are "classless" is to discredit every student who ever flunked out of school in Opelika. We ring the Chapel Bell after a victory. They celebrate with toilet paper. C'mon Dawgs, let's makes this a two-ply defeat for them. Summon your inner Tra Battle for 60 minutes and then we can ring that bell all night long!


Go Dawgs!

3 comments:

AthensHomerDawg said...

"They've shared players turned coaches such as Dooley, Erk and Pat Dye."FYI- Throw Frank Orgel into the mix as he played on Wally Butts SEC championship team, roomed with Pat Dye and coached at Auburn and Georgia. (And uSC I think). He coached at Warner Robins HS with Robert Davis and Conrad Nix( who later won a state title as HC  with cross town rival Northside)

Bernie said...

Nice catch. I had forgotten about Orgel. When I read your comment it reminded me of his fight against that rare motor neuro disease. ( http://bit.ly/dzuZdR ) I hope he's still fighting. Thanks for the reminder.

AthensHomerDawg said...

Coach Orgel was our D Coordinator  and my wrestling coach at WRHS. I played with Mike who was our team captain and older brother of Steve Boswell. I took his sister to homecoming. Tossed the ball around with Steve.... when he was a kid. He was always a stocky determined kid. George Collins who was a freshman when I left  later played at Georgia as a OT.  George and I would played a few games of racquetball at Stegeman.  Wonder if they still have courts there?  Small world.