Monday, August 15, 2011

Monday's Meatloaf - An Agricultural Affair

Pardon the beer cans and empty bourbon bottles Aggy. It's just how we roll down heyuh on the weekends.


I have nominated myself as the official spokesblogger of the welcoming committee. Well...welcome! I guess...let me show you around. First we have this thing about Saturdays in the Fall...


What's that Lassie? Herbstreit's stuck
in the salon?!?
Oh wait, you did bring the money right? I mean cuz if not you might as well take your bugle and Lassie there on back to Texas you know. Ok! Good. As I was saying, we treat gamedays over here as if the world stops rolling around for a spell. The grills heat up about 8am and by kickoff fans are at a frenzy.


I'm sorry, what's that? Oh no, I'm afraid you couldn't understand. You see, down here there are no weddings, no funerals, no family get-togethers, no lawn mowers, no anniversaries, no cattle herding, no chest colds and no oil drilling. It's only football.


Can you still play Texas? Ol' Mack Brown's still got ya bent over the knee huh? Kid...look. We don't care who ya play when you're not on the SEC interstates. Just wrap up your old business by the last weekend in November because we have this little shindig in the GA Dome each year called a Championship Game. Oh, no sir. I realize there's something set up out west called a Big 12 Championship game, but this is the actual Championship game. You see, you're in the SEC now...


Wait! You hear that? Sounded like Kirk Herbstreit trying to break news again. Did you tell anyone you were coming? You did what?!? 


Look, maybe later. We're outta here. Text ya next week.


Today's Ingredients
  • So, evidently today's headlines can be reprinted in three weeks when Texas A&M will be formally introduced. In other words, stay tuned...
  • Travis explains how ESPN complicates the matter of A&M moving to the SEC. Afterall, they're the common denominator of any college football equation.
  • So...when/if A&M gets invited, who's the 14th team? Marc runs down a pretty comprehensive list of possibilities.
  • An interesting read given the weekend's headlines, S.M. Oliva recalls the history of the SECs 12 teams.
  • In assigning songs to each SEC team, Kevin thinks the Dawgs are back!
  • It's the time of year when lots of fans renew or consider joining a pay site for premium info. So Socrates is kind enough to break down the options for Dawg fans.
  • Also at LHB, ecdawg considers the possibility of a playoff plus-one scenario for college bowl season.
  • Tray Matthews committed to Richt over the weekend. He's a 2013 safety that's been high on the Dawgs for a while ($$).
  • Genxdawg offers some predictions for the upcoming season.
  • Ego can be a grand thing. Although Year2 points out it may have blinded the longhorns a bit.
  • Teresa Edwards is now a member of the Naismith Hall of Fame. Of course we all knew that was a slam dunk.
  • Quick programming note: Wednesday afternoon I'll have the SEC Digital Network's season preview up as well as a playmaker video. I'm guessing it'll be Aaron Murray.
I had a momentary lapse of reason this weekend. Made a mistake that could've had serious and dire consequences. What's worse is I usually catch this kind of thing pretty quickly, but it wasn't until my wife got back in the car and handed me my wallet back that I realized what I had done.


Page...rocking in the grain
After dinner Saturday I was told to "swing by" a store. Since the dog had already been fed I had no reason for objection beyond my own feelings of inconvenience, so I pulled up to the door and allowed everyone to get out while I finished listening to Led Zeppelin's D'yer Mak'er. Before the doors shut however I was asked if I had any cash. I normally follow that up with my own question of "How much do you need?" I guess to save any further interruption of Jimmy Page's chordic awesomeness I simply handed over the entire wallet.


My ladies now had access to my cash, my cards...my health benefit identification. Looking back I was as vulnerable as a man can be. Alone. Oblivious. Susceptible to denial of an insurance claim. Destitute...at least temporarily. Although it's never worked on Mrs. Bernie, I used to be able to manipulate my kids' minds. The older I get the more I come to accept the fact that it is I who is the manipulatee.


Crafty creatures women are. And they learn at such a young age. Here's your fork Reader. Eat up quick before there are 13+ teams at the same table.


Bernie

3 comments:

OldDawg55 said...

Re all the sniping at Texas A&M..if the powers that be actually accept TA&MU into the SEC we will be getting a school that not only is a pretty fair football school but one that ranks right up at the top with traditions aplenty and a reputation that takes second to none in other departments..I served over 30 years in the military with a fair amount of officers from that institution..and the school reached out with an Aggie Rally every year to these grads..I don't think our SEC ranks any higher on football Saturdays than A&M..football is a religion in Texas in general and no less at A&M. While I can live with the SEC as is, I would not be disappointed to have the Aggies on our schedule, home and home..knowing that any game with them would be a good one...and it's Reveille, not Lassie, cuz!

Bernie said...

The sniping is meant in good humor OldDawg55. I am opposed to expansion, but like adding TAMU. As I said Saturday I would actually prefer to bring them in and release Arky or AwwBarn. The Aggies (and Reveille!!) are going to be a great addition.

zenarcher said...

IMO the SEC will go to 16 teams,at some point in time. They will come as a group of four, not one by one.With all reverence to our beloved SEC tradition I offer the following four.1.Texas ATM 2.Suwanee 3.Tulane and 4.Notre Dame. Reasoning for these choices will be submitted as soon as I recover from an acute battle with #sonofapeach #Gata