The Season: a Monthly Preview

September

After Monday, you can probably tell that I think this team has some lumps to take. The easy prediction is that it comes in Chickumbia. However, the closer that game gets, the more comfortable I feel about it. Which is to say it's more like an exam by an unfriendly proctologist as opposed to a colonoscopy without anesthesia. So I've gone from chalking it up to a possible loss to thinking we have a decent shot at being 2-0 this season.

And if we can get through the toughest game of the month on the road for the first time this season, I think the chances of running the September table are decent. Arkansas will be a dangerous game but more winnable than South Carolina. Mallett can beat most any team with his arm, but he can't beat the clock. We'll expose their posrous defense and bleed that sucker dry, one drop tick at a time. And Missy State is always a long trip back into the 1960s to get a win, yet always worth it somehow. But there's a loss in this month somewhere. If it doesn't come in game two, I think there's a let down game in three or four.

Month's record: 3-1
General outlook: good start that hopefully doesn't have us wondering what if by season's end

October
Now it's time to make hay. Colorado shouldn't be a problem. The upper classmen on this team remember playing in Tempe: get there, get acclimated, smash some mouths and come home ready for the schedule's main course. Tennessee may only require one bus, Vandy will only win the pre-game press conference and KenYucky will only hang on for three quarters.

Which takes us into the WLOCP. Simply put - this game goes to the Dawgs this year. As long as there aren't any insurmountable injuries (plural, like Murray + AJ + Houston + Boykin + Butler + Russ) I think we're as talented as the fight'n gayturds on the two deep. The talk of the game moving, circumcisions, the fake juice, the lopsided FU dominance ...all in the past. If nothing else, win it for Chapas dammit!

Month's record: 5-0
General outlook: a loss this month would either mean a slipup against a lesser squad, or something even less tasteful. In the end the Dawgs take care of business and set a nice table for the stretch run.

November
After throwing Idaho State into the same scrap heap we disposed UL-L in, we take a trip to AwwBarn. That will mark our 11th consecutive game, just before a bye week. The plain men catch us tired and sore enough to escape with a close win that'll have us either glad floriDuh already has two losses (Bama and an inspired LSwho) or hoping they're about to get their second against the lamecocks. And especially glad we took care of business in Jax.

After the bye week Coach Richt gives Bernie another terrific birthday gift against the enginerds and we all scramble for tickets to the Georgia Dome. Right after making a covert trip to Tusckieloosie to slash Saban's bus tires.

Month's record: 2-1
General outlook: Coach Richt trades in his hotseat critics for homegrown ones who are somehow dissatisfied that we backed into Atlanta with two losses. Once I sober up from my birthday, I rip em a new one.

Bowling
While Saban's buses rest immovable in Bryant-Denny's parking lot, his airplanes fly into Georgia airspace. A solid gameplan keeps us in it and threatens the Alabaman economy, which assuredly will rest on the fact that the Tide will win the SECCG by at least 213 points.

A 10-3 Georgia team gets into the Sugar Bowl after Bama escapes into the MNC. We beat a one loss Boise State team that can't believe they lost to Virginia Tech in the first game of the season, ran the table against a difficult WAC conference slate only to end up playing Georgia.

There you have it. 2010 is in the books. We go back to waiting. And Remerton has a very slow spring.

Thank God.