Monday's Margarita - Live from Yankee Beach

This episode is SPF 99, for your own protection.


After fighting through a logjam of Michigan, Ohio and Quebec license plates to get here, I guess I should've suspected I'd be sharing sand space with so many Nanooks of the north...especially after previous experiences.

But this time I'm especially bitter. If it weren't enough that they have to use our prime real estate to escape their snow laden lawns and try out their new black tube socks with the leather sandals...if it weren't enough that they speak with such strange syllabic accentuations...now they've apparently helped to close down our favorite restaurants.

It's nice to have a place to go eat that's right there in the complex. There's no need to try and remember where you put the car keys and you can enjoy a little happy hour with your lobster bisque. But someone complained that there was too much noise, no doubt interrupting the latest airing of the curling championships on ESPN Douche.

What's worse is now that the restaurant is closed, the beachside bar is closed as well, the one with the best burger on the beach and Buddy the bartender who never had to ask me what I'd like. He always knew there's no salt on my rim.

Today's Ingredients

• Overall, Coach Richt sounded pleased with the first scrimmage yesterday. And as if to validate most of the votes in my poll, Caleb seems to be running pretty well.
• Of course, one of the great things about Spring is CMR getting to know his scout teamers' names. Like Brandon Harton of Tatnall Co.
• Travis Fain has even more reasons why we should be impressed with Ray Drew.
• Aaron Murray. Is there a sophomore slump in his future? Is he bound for a big, big year 'tween the hedges? Many seem to think the latter is more likely. Included among those is ESPNs Chris Low.
• The Senator isn't buying into any Tyler Bray hype.
• Martin Van Dawgin tell us that sCam Newton has used some of his Barner fortune to purchase a nice resolution in the Georgia Assembly.
• The Mack Brown Network is coming to televisions this Fall. Check local listings.
• Cris Carter's son has decided to transfer to Tuscaloosa and play for Uncle Nicky.
• Don't look now, but Perno's Diamond Dawgs are doing pretty well in SEC play. 
• I-16 is a lot like watching The English Patient. It's about 3 hours of your life you'll never get back, with very little to show for it.
• Lastly, Dawgfan17 delves into the insanity that is anonymous posters. Careful man, that's like chasing a rabbit down a hole.

I guess I shouldn't complain too much about this invasion of northern depression. At least this time they're spending money instead of burning buildings and putting Pepsi on gas n sip shelves. It's definitely been worse. We haven't had to close the beach once yet because Nanook can't tell the difference between a porpoise and a shark.


Perhaps they've been taking marine biology lessons from my 9 year old:

But if Edith from Bowling Green doesn't retire that polka-dotted two piece I might just have my little angel throw one of those gelatinous masses in her lounge chair. The 1980s called lady...and you're not in them anymore.

As for you Reader, Have a great Monday. Salt or no salt?

Bernie