Saturday's Forecast

Rain. Somewhere in the distance I can hear Annie Lennox and a totally rockin synthesizer.

Georgia's Torrin Lawrence continues to impress...and leave other top class collegiate sprinters in his wake and looking like me running on a treadmill....(it ain't pretty)

The ABH has a feature on Suzanne Yoculan as she prepares for her final home meet as Gymnastics coach. Think she might wear heels?

If you've been torn between news stories regarding the future of Zac Swansey and how the story broke, Brett Jensen clears the picture for you.

The baseball team's SEC opener was rained out. They try to pull an Ernie Banks today in Tuscaloosa.

Oregon has a new tackle football coach....(chirp..chirp...)

And if things weren't already off to a rocky start up in Knutsville, THIS can't be a good beginning for spring practice. 

Duck Lost His Quack

This drake is now wading in the shallow end

In a pond splashing move that will undoubtedly send shockwaves from Eugene ALL the way to Corvallis, Mike Bellotti has resigned as Oregon's head quacker. His move from sideline to front office duck had been hatched at the end of the wegular season but the date for action had not been announced.

Bellotti had waddled along Oregon's sidelines for 14 seasons and took his lings, both ugly and otherwise, to 12 bowls - including a 45-31 win over Oklahoma State in the Holiday Bowl back in December.

Chip Kelly will be promoted from offensive duckling to chief quacker, effective March 30th. Chris Low of ESPN is still awaiting word from KiffyBaby on this surprising development. The college football world is quite sure he has some opinion. 

Meanwhile, Bernie has scored an interview with a beaver to get his take on the puddle hopper.

More to follow...

Reggie Had Game, But Gundy's Got Age

Congratulations techhies...your basketball season lasted at least one game longer than ours. If Dave Braine were still around Coach Hewitt would have a new 10 year, $120 gajillion contract next week. 

Quick question: who do Dawg fans miss more, Braine, Ball or Gailey? Ahh...good times. 

So now we set our sights on who the AJC hires for us as basketball coach. I'm sorry....did I get that wrong? Seriously though, it's gonna be fun to see what Evans can do with a fat checkbook. And if Oklahoma plays in the first round of the NCAAs like they did yesterday against Oklahoma State....gets bounced...and Evans is seen around the town of Norman...maybe we can finally get past Capel as a viable candidate to leave his current post.

No, I just don't see Athens in his future. Then again, I once thought Harrick was a great hire. WhatdoIknow?

Whoever the coach ends up being, what may be even more intriguing than his hiring will be who stays to play for the red and black. Smart money is on Zac Swansey choosing to part ways with Stegeman's bench. Jeremy Price is mumbling about his other prospects as well. For more, Brett Jensen at TotalUGA has the exclusive interview.

If you want to wrap up the round ball season in a really nice bow, check out Hale's piece at Macon.com today. After reading it, I think I like Albert Jackson's momma almost as much as I do her son. And walk-on turned starter Corey Butler is classier than Ron Burgundy's San Diego. 

We'll miss that guy. Almost as much as Regie Ball.

Friday's Feedbag

• The Bernie Family has supper club this weekend. For those unfamiliar, this is where couples rotate houses for dinner every so often and shove the kids in a playroom for four plus hours and have a nice meal where forks are used and discussion centers on topics of a mature nature. You know, like if Jennifer Aniston is single again, who will win American Idol and how much of a beer connoisseur Bernie is. Groundbreaking stuff like that.
• The Diamond Dawgs begin SEC play tonight in Tuscaloosa. At 14-0, Perno's collection of sluggers and aces are riding a ripple of momentum that could easily turn into quite the wave with some early success against the SEC slate. For updates and write ups over the weekend series, I would recommend the coverage over at Dawg Sports. Plus, T Kyle King has a great post today on the players to watch for in the annual G-Day game.
• Speaking of the gridiron gang, Weiszer has a post on his blog about CMRs midset heading into the 2009 campaign. Let's just say it's a little more hobnail boot and a little less blackout bama.
• For years I've thought of Tony Dungy as the CMR of the NFL. Now that the Super Bowl Trophy totin' coach is retired he's teaming up with CMR for a good cause - AllProDad. If you are a father, click there now. Go ahead...I'll wait for you to come back....
• Ok, speaking of fatherly relationships...on the (very) rare occasion I would get out of hand as a kid, my dad would always have a way on getting me back in line. That being said, it must be odd to have your own son as your boss. Still, when your own son disparages an entire state of US citizens it begs for intervention. Monte - it's time for a Kiffin Family Heart to Heart....a trip to the weeping willow in the backyard to get his own switch...or at least a heartfelt apology to him for naming him Lane.
• Mackie has an update on those things we shall not mention...that evidently he's brave enough to post right at the end of UGAs spring break and the football team having a week off...and he claims not to be superstitious...
• Bernie will only officially state that he is satisfied with the way the Fulmer Cup standings are right now.
• Lastly, bulldoginexhile reminds me that this year's BernieDay will be legendary in proportions only OSU coach Mike Gundy could understand. Getting old sucks, having to make extra trips to the bathroom bites, but having a ringtone available to the masses of your I'm a man! I'm FORTY! tirade is where the party begins.

The King's Quote of the Week:

The Set up - After news of the Geno Hayes stabbing broke, Chuck and Chernoff took some calls. It quickly turned into recounts of personal experiences from Atlanta area men who had been in domestic incidents with their used to be significant others. One caller actually seemed to be on his way home from meeting with Cordell and Cordell after having to call Gwinnett's finest on his wife. Seems she had chased her Natty Ice with tequila the night before and had decided to dance with the kitchen scissors. 

To which Oliver mumbled.... "This is the worst advertisement for white people ever."

Slow week I know, Reader. Things will pick up next week when Spring Practice begins on Tuesday, undoubtedly CMRs way of saying Happy St. Patty's Drills!

Have a nice weekend!

Bernie

Stafford's (un)Perfect Storm

     
            Stafford's Future Bedroom

A smattering of ingredients are blending together that may indeed make Matthew Stafford the numero uno on NFL Draft Day. But the end product may be as tasty as a three week old egg salad sandwich...

The facts are these: 

• the Detroit Lions hold the first pick and they need a QB
• Detroit also needs about 40 more NFL caliber players
• Matthew Stafford is the best available prospect at the QB position

Whether Stafford is the best QB in the draft has been debated, but I think it's clear he has talent that others will never possess. I agree with RidgeDawg @ GeorgiaBulldog.com, no way Stafford falls below Sanchez. However, whether he is worth the first pick is entirely debatable in my mind. The history of early entry QBs is far south of successful. And the Lions could certainly profit from trading the pick in hopes of adding more than one starter to the lineup from this draft.  

                                             Stafford's Future Office

But there's no one willing to trade up. There's not a HOT prospect in this year's crop that begs the temptation. Kansas City traded for a QB last week. St. Louis and San Fran could be in the QB market, but are probably content waiting their turn. 

If you're Detroit, do you spend the pick on a QB with Stafford's tremendous ability or on another area of need that may have less of an impact? 

So you can see the sea swelling and the clouds forming. Roger Goodell approaches the podium and a young man from outside of Dallas, Texas sees his dream come true - the first pick of the NFL draft.

Here's your light blue jersey son. We'll get someone to block for you next season.

One sidenote: if you haven't travelled over to see the Senator's historical analysis of Stafford versus recent Dawg signal callers, grab hold that mouse and get to clicking. It's one helluva read.

Cinderella's Slipper Done Broke...??

The forecast in Tampa....mostly Sunny through Sunday with highs in the low 80s.

Oh well. I guess without the slightest chance at a tornado, the hardcourt Dawgs are even longer shots to defend their conference tourney championship.

A year ago the forecast was bleak for the Atlanta area and Coach Felton's future. By happy hour Sunday the basketball program had gone from the prospect of having a warm beer in a run down bar to having a pina colada in a tropical paradise.

Maybe Coach Hermann prefers sunny Florida...Chip Towers breaks down their chances, as well as the league's other longshots with big feet.

BDBs Photo Department apologizes for the horrible photo shop attempt. It's magical photo design machine thingiemabobdoohicker is on the fritz.

Rantavious Wooten

One last note on the class of '09...

Sure the signing day drama of Marlon Brown was exciting. Tracking Orson Charles' deliberations was thrilling. But looking back on this year's class of Dawgs, I'm just as excited about a smaller framed receiver out of Glades Central, FL.

The recruitment of Rantavious Wooten was exceptionally quiet, uncomfortably so in fact. Little to nothing was heard from the Belle Glades, FL prospect at all. 

In between jotting down entries for my NSD Journal Feb 4th, I spent a lot of time around Butts-Mehre watching videos of the signees after the signatures were dry. And as I watched the clips of this prospect I could see why CMRs staff suffered through the silence patiently.

This kid Wooten should be a difference maker sooner rather than later. 

Some notes before you watch the video. This is a lengthy one, but worth the time when you can spare it. It won't take long for you to start to smile as I'm sure Bobo has for many months in waiting for this playmaker's signature. Every clip is YouTube worthy. I'll give you a few highlights that highlight Wooten's ability in the secondary and his technique in the open field. 

At the 4:2o mark you see a ball that Wooten makes an impressive adjustment to. He aggressively reacts to a slight underthrow and outplays a defender that has better size. You'll see another great mid-air adjustment about 7:15 in.

Half the footage features Wooten from the shotgun where he played plenty of snaps (can you say WildDawg? Better get familiar with it...). You'll get plenty of chances to see his decision making on the run and elusiveness, not to mention his speed and all out sick skills. His best run may be :30 in. And if you skip forward, make sure you stop at about the 6:15 mark...

Wooten the ball carrier...he may go, he may go!

Wooten may not be able to create his own space like the 

other receivers in this class, but can obviously be quite 

harmful on screens, kick returns and as both a runner and 

receiver out of the backfield.

TotalUGA's workup on Wooten

from GeorgiaDogs.com

RANTAVIOUS WOOTEN
WR, 5-10, 158
Belle Glades, Fla., Glades Central HS
RANTAVIOUS WOOTEN...Born: September 26, 1989...High School:  Glades Central... PrepStar All-America Team....SuperPrep All-Dixie team....Orlando Sentinel Class AAA First Team... Palm Beach Post All-Area First Team...2008 Rivals.com #7 Wide Receiver in Florida and #34 overall, #29 WR nationally...2008 Scout.com four-star prospect, #31 overall prospect in Florida, #75 in the South, and #20 WR nationally...as a senior recorded 33 catches for 927 yards and 14 touchdowns...as a junior in 2007 had 25 receptions for 456 yards and three touchdowns...also had 55 carries for 446 yards and seven more scores...High School Coach: Jessie Hester

CMR On Rantavious Wooten...
“Rantavious is a guy who is very explosive. He’s not the biggest guy in the world, but he’s super quick and had great hands. He is very tough. He played quarterback a bunch and has tremendous maturity as a player. I’m sure we’ll do our best to get him in position to make a bunch of plays for us.”

AJC Out-Pimps ESPN...???

Furman Bisher, Terrance Moore and some dimwit named Jim Galloway think that they work for Parker Executive Search of Atlanta, the search firm UGA Athletics has hired to assist in its quest for a new basketball coach.

Bisher's love affair for Bob Knight has been well-documented. In fact it is only surpassed by Jay Bilas' admiration for the General.

Not to be outdone, Moore decided to come up with an even MORE unqualified coach and put on his feathered hat and cock it to the right pimpstyle. And just down the hall from Terrance "Vick" Moore is some political writer (this term is used loosely...more in a sec...) who seems too old and frumpy to be a pimp. 

It's as if the AJC is so desperate to sell print that they'll completely ignore the facts as I have so generously laid out for all the blawgosphere.

IDIOTS.

The "candidate" (double entendre...coming up!) they are endorsing is none other than the First brother-in-law, a term these mental giants may have coined themselves. Craig Robinson you may remember from the DNC, is the head basketball coach in Corvallis. 

That's Oregon State. They're beavers.

Moore suggests an interview occur between Evans and Robinson immediately, because the Beavers' coach is qualified...meaning he's got his own little dry erase board with a half-court marked on it.

I give the political guy some credit as he at least offered up an opposing view from....let's see...oh yeh! A guy named Tim Shifflet, chairman of the Chattooga Co. Democratic Party. No reader, you just can't make this stuff up. 

Galloway also has an audio clip link that offers a clue as to where this rumor may have started...I was only able to make it through 42 seconds of it before I had to click away.

Craig Robinson would be glad to talk to UGA about their head coaching position? Really? You're kidding me?

But Galloway loses any remaining credibility with me when he misplaces a their for a there in his piece and that is just inexcusable. If he did take the FaceBook There, They're and Their Quiz, he obviously failed miserably.

Stick with me reader. I scored 100%. Plus I'm going to do as Evans does and let Parker Executive Search of Atlanta do their job. That's what he's paying them to do....

Some of the other people involved I suspect may not even know how many points a team is awarded should a player make a three point shot. 

IDIOTS.

I mean why bother to go to the expense of hiring experts to conduct your head coaching searches when you have Bilas, Bisher, Moore and Galloway (...call 1-800-WE PIMPS...one call, that's all)? Why hire a qualified person to coach your basketball team when you could get Robinson to send tickets to his sister Michelle? Is it more important to sell out games or have the First Lady behind the vistor's bench yelling at gatorDon to sprout a pair?!?

Coach Richt's Son to Transfer

Jon Richt is trading in his John Deere for a chance at a starting job at another school. David Hale reports via TigerNet.com that the redshirt freshman will likely transfer from Clempson to a smaller FCS school, thereby leaving open the opportunity to play in the fall. 

I know what you're thinking...you didn't know Clempson had the internets. I put a call in to some relatives in the area and it turns out they've had it for more than a month now. In a possible related story, cattle are roaming aimlessly and the Esso Club hasn't had a customer since Obama was sworn in.

Head coach Dabo Swinney was reached on his cellular phone for comment on the QB depth chart: We're just happy to have another win over South Carolina and I'm thrilled at the opportunity to be a coach for these kids. As soon as I finish my green beans the alumni are gonna let me touch that rock!

History Kicks Nutt in the Butt

When you knowingly sign a piece of crap to play for your football team, you run the risk of obtaining a stench considered unpleasant.

When you last likely heard Jamar Hornsby's name, he was getting booted from Urbie's tackle football squad after using a dead girlfriend's credit card (yup!...you read that right.). 

Are you retching me?

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, the talented cornerback signed with Houston Nutt's much heralded class at Ole Miss. I guess even a big turd can find a way to not get flushed.

Well, maybe...maybe not. Recently, Hornsby was arrested in Starkville for aggravated assault and petty larceny. No details were provided.

Now I've been to Starkville. Not sure why Hornsby was there and not in Oxford or wherever the heck East Mississippi Community College is, but Starkville is aptly named. Good place to watch a football game and then leave. 

Immediately.

But evidently Hornsby had other things in mind, allegedly brass knuckles and a Mickey D's drive thru. Now I've been to a Mickey D's drive thru. Good place to order some food, pay for it and then drive away. But for Hornsby in Starkville things got complicated somewhere in that process of ordering...and paying.

The good news for Hornsby is that the program plans to "honor" his scholarship...as Senator Blutarsky points out - ...that probably depends on whether he's good enough to start.

Kiffin Has Career Advice for SC Natives

If you're young (athletic) and live in South Carolina, Lane Kiffin wants to help. He knows the future is bleak and holds little to offer you. He cares about your livelihood so much it hurts. He is eager to remind you that your only hope at avoiding a miserable job (stuck in the '70s) pumping fuel into vehicles is to sign on the creamsickle bottom line.

According to Jeffrey and Wilson, Kiffin told Jeffrey that if he chose

the Gamecocks, he would end up pumping gas for the rest of his

life like all the other players from that state who had gone to South Carolina.

George Rogers, Sterling Sharpe...they work here.

Monday's Meatloaf - Diddy's Horse is One Race Closer to Glue

Warm up that oven before you get your hands all raw with meat...

This weekend Bernie was once again reminded how lucky the Bulldog Nation is to have CMR at the helm. He always seems to have his finger on the pulse of the program. 

The NCAA has handed down the following penalties to Florida State University's tackle football program:

*Four years probation
*Loss of six scholarships
*and the vacation of wins in which ineligible athletes were competing

In all, ten athletic programs were affected by what the NCAA referred to as "major violations". In terms of the football penalties, FSU self-imposed and agreed with all but one...any guess which? Yup! You're right, they insist they didn't knowingly put players on the field that didn't come by music appreciation knowledge on their own. In all, FSU could vacate (not exactly a forfeit, just no longer able to claim) 14 victories.

Diddy's finger couldn't be further away from FSUs palpitation (h/t the distinguished Senator Blutarksy). Since Richt left Tallahassee, Bowden hasn't been doing too well. Wins have been harder to come by. Recruits not as enamored with the Free Shoes product. Bowden's son and heir apparent went from offensive coordinator to coaching at North Alabama (I looked that up, it's not Tennessee...) Not only has the new hip'd Paterno surpassed Bowden's career win total, but he stands to begin the 2009 season as much as 15 wins up.

So if this were a horse race between Diddy and JoePa it would have finished the '08 season with...and DOWN the stretch they come!...neck and neck. But suddenly Bowden has pulled up lame...

And in Other News

• The Diamond Dawgs are now a perfect 12-0 after (yawn!) ANOTHER sweep. Holy mackeral! That's five opponents, 12 wins, no losses, 139 runs, 44 runs against. This weekend's victim was the Quinnipiac Bobcats. They are now on their way back to Connecticut and Perno's All-Stars are preparing to tie the longest win streak in his era. Tuesday brings a two-game series against LeMoyne, the last non-conference opponent before SEC play begins, Friday in Tuskeeloosie.
• The men's basketball team finished the regular season...whew!
• As predicted, my 5 year olds dominated their season opener in soccer Saturday. You can dress em up real cute in pink shin guards and matching hair bows, but throw a ball on the pitch and it's GO time. Seriously it was like watching Utah play Alabammy in the Sugar Bowl...yeh, that bad.
• Herschel survived another board room appearance. You know, I find Tom Green humorous. And he actually has stood in Sanford stadium before (movie RoadTrip...UGAs campus  was the scenic backdrop of a fictional University of Ithaca). But last night he was obnoxious. I wish he had agreed to fight Herschel. That would have been more entertaining than he and Hamilton making a set. Ugh! Of course if Green doesn't shut up! when 34 says so, it may just happen. 

• And would it kill Trump to put a quick shot of the Georgia G in the opening to the show? The Heisman trophy gets some face time...what about Uga? Bill Bates? or just a shot of Walker going airborn against the goldendomers?
• Question for the day: is there a person as tough as Trump's ego and as graceful as his combover? YES. And her name is the GymDogs. This time the scene was at Pauley Pavilion in LA. Behind Courtney McCool's perfect 10 on the beam and another all-around title for Kupets, the ladies spanked UCLA 197.725-196.125. The home fianle (Yoculan's last meet at Stegeman) is Saturday against Michigan.
• You know how when you were dating that person and at some point you put the relationship under the microscope and realize it's more of a pimple than a picnic? A few months later nothing's changed and after beating your head against the wall repeatedly something finally rattles into place and you pull the trigger (figuratively!....who do you think I am?) and end it? Well, that my friends is how Jerry Jones and Tony Romo feel this week. [cue Johnny Nash....]
• And don't feel too bad for TO (I can see clearly now the rain is gone....). He's already found his new BFF in Trent Edwards/city of Buffalo. (I can see all obstacles in my way....)

And one BIG shout-out to my little (almost...) five year old Ainsley. She discovered last week that one of her little classmates has been bred as a gator. The little tebow lovers' punishment (in my own angel's words): So I don't play with her on the playground anymore. I only play with Georgia Bulldogs. I see a solid post-secondary education in your future Ainsley. Not to mention a hotfudge sundae.

It's gonna be a bright bright bright bright...sun-shiney day! 

Here's your lunch reader. Stick a fork in it. 

Bernie