Some Links to Stir into Your Large Cocktails

As we draw closer and closer to the WLOCP, here are some things I've found enlightening, thought provoking and down right funny.

• The Real Story Behind Jorts - h/t @DorseyHill
• Not surprisingly, Kit's been all over this rivalry all week. Here's his post on the mascots and the roflmao funny things more dangerous than Chris Rainey.
• Good piece by Clarkson on Aaron Murray's return to his home state. And for the other side of the ball, Loran Smith looks at the example Akeem Dent is providing.
• At least one gayturd is tired of being embarrassed by his jort wearing cuzzins. You make your nest, you slither in it dude. h/t Dawgtoons
• You've probably already read Gregg Doyel's (UF Alum) piece on Meyer's handling of Chris Rainey. Well, now the corch is also catching flack for not keeping AwwBarn star Cam Newton.
• Pulpwood...not fond of Corch, Rainey, uniforms or John Brantley's skills. (NSFW, as usual)
• It's not ready as of this posting, but I have it on good authority that the latest Dawgcast Post Kentucky/Pre WLOCP podcast will be up this morning around 9am. Click HERE.
• Dr. Strangedawg gives us the latest on floriDuh's new unis and Chris Rainey's new deal.
• The Georgia-Florida game is special to AD McGarity.
• Nick Williams has moved back to LB, and seems upbeat about it.
• Lastly, Coach Richt doesn't seem worried about Ealey's knee...so I guess I shouldn't be either.

Some Recruiting Nuggets

Some bits and pieces gathered from here, there and yon.

• Kelin Johnson says Saban has offered Zach Mettenberger. Here's his tweet and here's the main story on his website. Remember that Johnson has spoken to Mett several times since he left in the spring. Also reported first I believe on Mett going to Butler CC.
• While he's updating us on the progress to Stegeman, PWD summarizes hoops recruiting after Nick Jacobs chose Bama yesterday.
• And Chad Simmons interviews and updates us on Damian Swann ($$).
• Speaking of Swann, he told his teammate Marcus Caffey "I'll go to Georgia if you do". Caffey, a 6' 190 lb running back, is still waiting on a call from Coach Richt.

Even More Red & Black Douchebaggery

Fact: Caleb King was cleared of any wrong doing by UGA and the NCAA in terms of a loan he received from a friend.

You won't see that on many big Dawg beat pages today because it truly has always been a non-story. A non-story for everyone except the campus newspaper's Zach Dillard. He's the only one who should spend some print on it, because he's the one who's been beating the drum on this "story".

In fact, UGA Greg McGarity cleared Caleb before he even sat out the first game for his suspension related to the failure to appear. Yet Dillard has seen a chance to to kick dirt on a fellow student and just couldn't resist.

Fact: Dillard writes today that King has been cleared. BUT passes on the chance for contrition.

I didn't major in journalism, but it doesn't take a Peabody to realize that Dillard's use of quotations around the word friend is classless and not at all good practice.

I hope your investigative journalism got you a free beer among your buddies Mr. Dillard. Because the truth is it should get you kicked out of 540 Baxter Street.

- Posted using BlogPress from Bernie's iPhone

Locker Notes - bites of gator cuz gators bite

.

As per tradition, some more last minute costume ideas: a Houstonated Brantley, Rainey's cell phone, Trinton Sturdivant's money maker, a gradulated go gaytuh!, Slurban's Sabbatical...and for something that'll really scare the kids, a Brandon Spikes Eye Gouger (although you'll have to sit out the first half of Trick or Treating).


And now for some Hate Week locker notes:

• Washaun Ealey - You saved room for gator didn't you? Tastes like chicken.
• Caleb King - Now that you're back, I can think of no one better to make our campus newspaper eat their own print with a big performance in Jax.
• Bacarri Rambo - Please help Rainey understand how we feel about terroristic texts to young ladies.
• Blair Walsh - Your misses are quickly overshadowed by your determined, positive attitude. Have a great game.
• Coach Richt - As much as I want this game, you have to want it ten times more. No gimmicks, plenty of attitude and absolute focus. GATA!
• Brandon Boykin - I took the liberty of checking, and Slurban's teams especial have yet to give up a kickoff return for TD. That's a thing that makes me go Hmm... 
• Coach Grantham - This being your first trip down there, we don't really care if you grab it by the tail or start with the head...just kick that gator's ass!

Unless you wear jorts, you should be able to construct one of these yourself. Or feel free to add your own last minute costume idea. 

Large Outdoor Cocktails Make Video Fun

Let's start with one that was an instant classic. h/t johnnypm427

In case you've run out of reasons why floriDuh sucks, MrBigDawg54 has you covered.

And here's how things stand in Gayturdsville today. h/t JenX

Hopefully we can manage to continue their misery. Cuz that should be their lot in life.

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Branden Smith...can you spare a nickel?

Branden Smith's "likely" return to action Saturday against the FU Gators is welcome news. Very much welcome, for these reasons...in specific order.

1. Nickel situations. Cuff is still struggling, the change in scheme hasn't helped. By the time things stabilized for the Wildcats Saturday and they stopped hemorrhaging turnovers, they were finally able to pick on #25, consistently. Smith adds much needed depth that will come in handy in Jax against a team that we'll use extra d-backs to defend.
2. Punt return. I was excited about AJ returning punts up until he laid on the turf of Sanford after a brutal hit against Tennessee. No, it wasn't on a punt return. But the flashbacks to the first four games without him were intense. Logan Gray is my preference, then Branden. 
3. Need for speed. I don't know how much we'd use him on offense, but he's the gamechanger we need on the field whenever possible.

This play in itself is enough to put Slurban back into sabbatical mode. He ran a 4.1 that time Mike...

h/t rutlandbaseball1

Mumme Poll - week eight

My ballot for this week:

1. Oregon
2. Auburn
3. TCU
4. Boise State
5. Alabama
6. Missouri
7. Wisconsin
8. Oklahoma
9. Michigan State
10. Stanford

• Shuffling the top teams after the Oklahoma loss wasn't too hard, but deciding who was in what position 6-10 took a little brain stretching.
• As promised, I brought Wisconsin in this week after they held on against Iowa on the road. In short, Bielema had me at fake punt.
• I actually got to watch some of the Michigan State game. They didn't look like a top team for most of the way, but rallied and held on by a thread to my ballot. 
• Stanford is another team I'm not sold on as yet. Wash St scored 28 on them, but 21 of those were in garbage time. I don't see another hurdle on the Cardinal's schedule other than 'Zona. Maybe another team will step and prove themselves more worthy. A team like say..... 
• ...LSU. They were beaten by a sexy and awesome Auburn team, so maybe they have an argument to stay in. But that is just one awful offense. I know they say defense wins championships, but you gotta score at some point, right?
• I moved Boise up. I hate doing that, even though it was just one spot. Deep down I don't think I actually believe that they are better than Alabama. And if Saban's minions go to the bayou and put up a big number on the Hat...the Tide will jump at least one undefeated team.

More SEC Honors

What does...


   2.5 sacks
   3.5 TFLs
   1 Fumble Rec
   1 Forced Fumble
+ 1 PBU               


If your addition is right, it equals SEC Defensive Player of the Week for Georgia's Justin Houston. Well deserved for what was probably his best game as a Dawg.

Monday's Meatloaf - I'll Take Renewed Hope for 500 Alex

So here we are, just where we thought we'd be...right? One-half game out of first place in the SEC East. Does this roller coaster 2010 ride have another radical dip before we reach the pimply kids in the matching theme park suits at the end of the track? 


From ESPNs Chris Low:

After Georgia beat up on Tennessee and Vanderbilt the way the Bulldogs did, it was only natural to say, “It was just Tennessee and Vanderbilt.” But the Bulldogs went on the road Saturday and won comfortably over a Kentucky team that had just beaten South Carolina the week before. That’s three wins in a row now for Mark Richt’s club, and there’s no question the Bulldogs are playing their best football of the season. Richt deserves a ton of credit for keeping this team together during the four-game losing streak. The Bulldogs made some adjustments, tweaked their personnel and got their best player (A.J. Green) back. Now, they’re right there in the middle of the East race again. The complexion of their season could change entirely next weekend in Jacksonville if they can beat Florida. The Bulldogs have scored 40 or more points in their last three games. They’re running the ball better. Their offensive line is playing now like everyone expected when the season began, and this is a team that has a chance to make something of a season that looked like it was in the tank to start this month.

I'm sorry, you were looking
for "What is an afro?"

On the flight back from Boulder I remember clinging to the hope that maybe we could go from last this year to first next season. Could it possibly happen in the same  season? Surely not. Surely the lowlier reptiles will rain on this parade that's been building. Surely Cam Newton will have traded in his former mugshot pose for a Heisman one by the time we reach the Plains. The lamecocks can't be that lame can they?


Of course the real luxury is just being back in the running for a bowl. After enduring a 4 game period of pissiness, I'm just thrilled we made it to Final Jeopardy without a negative balance. We're a longshot, but at least we have an investment in the final month of the season. At least these kids still have much to play for.


So wipe that smug smile of that Canadian mug of yours Trebek. We're all in and got our answers in the form of questions.



Today's Ingredients

This is Floridian sign language for "My shorts are
too long, do you have any scissors?"

• Over at Dawg Food, Danny recaps the night in Lexington. And Kit  weighs in with some pros and cons as well.
• Randy looks at some of the heroes from Saturday night.
• Dawgola runs down the SEC East race and scenarios.
• 15 turnovers for 52 points on the season. A year ago I couldn't even see this tunnel, much less the light at the end of it.
• On the other hand, Quinton points out that we're a ways away from using the term Third and Grantham in a positive way.
• vineyarddawg puts us all on notice, IT'S HATE WEEK!!!
• Streit looks at the Mississippi State Factor in terms of the Georgia-Florida game's recent history. 
• Weiszer points out that floriDuh is attempting to rebound this week and that history is on their side.
• Estes writes that Slurban has used the bye week to determine the way to improve is through scheme and personnel. And I thought it was just better text proofing by grad assistants...
• Bradley looks like he's officially off the Gator Bandwagon.
• Looks like trouble continues to find Quincy's doorstep.
• Spencer Hall takes a honest and rather humorous look at Gene Chizik's rise to SEC stardom.
• Lastly, I must've missed a dawg blogging memo. Exile's gone cruisin' and Mackie's in Aruba. More importantly, how does this gig pay so much more for them?

But don't worry Dawg fans. I'm here this week. For this begins a week of memories in Jax, some good...many bad. Like this one...

I hate Florida. I loathe them in the manner in which I loathe communism, pedophiles and warm beer. The world would be a better place without them. I just don't understand what's taking the rest of the Earth's denizens so long to catch up to our way of thinking.


But let's not let all that get our week off to a poor start. It's gonna be a good one. Let's make the most of it. Let's do the world a favor and smack a gator 'cross the head.


But first, you better eat something. So grab that fork Reader, before a gayturd calls a TO. 




Bernie

Sunday Thoughts on the Blue Grass

Only have time for a couple notes. Then it's time to start packing for a cocktail party.

• Washaun Ealey - whatever confidence he lacked a couple weeks ago has been restored tenfold.
• Sanders Commings - dude is like a turnover magnet in silver britches. And that interception the endzone was a thing of beauty. It's so refreshing to see our DBs turn and play the ball. At least most of them...
• Justin Houston is relentless. He can't be blocked. And if Commings is a turnover magnet, Akeem Dent attracts tackles just as much.
• It won't look pretty in the boxscore, but the defense played very well early and then it was prevention time.
• Not sure what's wrong with Blair Walsh. It may be the same confidence bug that Ealey was suffering from a couple weeks ago. 
• As much as we all wanted to see Aaron Murray torch the UK defense, I just kept thinking of all those FU gators at home watching the game. They got to see so very little of what this offense can do.

That's all I got for now. Talk amongst yourselves.