Why The Pooch Kick?
A Lament
The pooch kick has never made all that much sense,
But Athens will rue it from this day hence.
What started as cute in the first of the season
Always left fans puzzling after the reason.
In a game of yards, why give them 50?
But clearly some coaches thought the thing nifty.
So Derek and Old Dawg decided to act.
They asked their dear listeners to form a firm pact:
Call coaches, call players, call all the douches
And tell them to please stop kicking the pooches.
The list’ners, they finished the drill and then some.
Dozens and dozens of calls beat the drum:
“Stop the pooch kick, please God, stop it now!”
The sounds of their voices raised to a howl!
Derek’s friend begged him, “Call off these good Dawgs!”
Bulldawg Nation thought the message was logged.
For weeks, no pooches were kicked, no yards given
Morgan kicked deep, and Richt was forgiven.
But just when we needed those yards all the more
An old habit floated from the old coach’s core.
Eighteen small seconds, and Tech needs a kick –
Surely you put it where the end zone is thick?
Alas, we did not, and the football was bounced
To a Tech team that already thought it was trounced.
“What a gift!” they must have thought on that day,
And with it, they took our dear win away.
Woe be to Bulldogs, woe be to Richt!
The decision stung deep; the poor pooch has been kicked.
- Ryan J. Van Meter
