Foley...gone corching

By 3pm yesterday conspiracy theorists had Slurban whistling John Denver melodies and Dan Mullen digging the SPF 50 out from the old suitcase. All that aside, I think Year2 has the most complete list of candidates and non-candidates. Our friend Exile has a short list as well and did a lot of impressive background checking (correction...it's actually jimmycrackedcorndawg's list). And Kit looks at the pros and cons of Meyer suddenly realizing he has a family.

I paid em all! All of em!

And since everyone is compiling lists, I thought I'd add my own...with a twist. As a Dawg fan, here are the guys I would most want to see corching the scripted helmets (in no particular order):

• Lou Holtz, ESPN - just so he'll stop spitting all over my TV screen.
• A Meyer Daughter, NATS or Fort Meyers - what better way for a girl to get back at an absentee father than to take his old gig. Then they can give him a taste of his own cold shoulder.
• Dave Wannstache, some bar - pretty sure he could bring Ditka with him...SEC Media Days just went off the charts!
• June Jones, SMU - he can bring back at least 90% of his Hawaii wardrobe (sans the grass skirts in favor of jorts).
• Charley Pell's Ghost, purgatory - old $chool, reptile $tyle!
• Chan Gailey, Braine's Basement Buffalo - all the cold blood as an FU alum, without the sharp teeth of an actual coach.
• Jeremy Fowler, Orlando Sentinel - Corch dressed him down, now it's the beat guy's turn to give the beatdown.

Your welcome Foley. And if none of those are available, I hear Joe Paterno is still in the game. You can even scout him New Year's Day for free.