Saban Got Shank'd

Shank'd -v. to be depants in a public setting, and in an embarrassing manner

I love reminiscing. My favorite thing to do with my kids is to watch home movies of when they were younger. They get such a kick out of seeing themselves romp around bumping into things trying to walk and mutter incoherent musings on life as it revolves around them.

My favorite thing to do with Dawg fans is to reminisce on big victories 'tween the hedges. We love watching former Dawgs kick ass and take their names while doing it. Back on October 2nd, 2004...Saban's name was Coach ThumbNAss. We spanked that sumbitch so hard he decided to try an easier league for a couple of years.

Hell, we were up 24-0 before their team even finished getting off the bus. So sit back and enjoy!

Oh Pollack, how I miss ya. And I'm sorry...when the smallest badass ever to
play SEC tackle football brings down your behemoth of a QB...you sir, are having
a piss poor day. And someone please remind me of just one time when Thomas
Brown was tackled backwards...??


Suck it Saban...AND your sad sack replacement. Now let's GATA!!

Who's That Comin'...week five

Willard's on his way home, Coach Richt's a dancer not a crier and Wooten's maturing quickly. Let's do this thang!

Trivial Update

Q - A newcomer to Twitter but not the Dawgs' secondary, what did @reshadjones9 watch on TV last night?

A - Inside the NFL

Either my TweetShow is gaining in popularity or the question this week was too easy. Guess the Dawgs' strong safety has an easier time gaining followers than a hotshot blawgger. Regardless, @DieHardDawg was the first to tweet in, followed by @ugagirl88 @ClintThomason @alanashley @namaman and @ugagrad (...and a Happy late B-Day to Paige, Russell Hall was never as secure as while you were on duty!)

I don't have enough prizes for all these Dawg fans...so I'm hoping Jones can knock enough mouthpieces out of the LSU receiving corps Saturday to make up the difference. Actually...LaFell's teeth would be even better....

Tailgate Predictions

• I eat my first ever muffaletta sandwich and enjoy every bite.
• Slurban doesn't play boy wonder at all this week. But they hold hands while they watch Uncle Verne and Gary wax so freakin' poetic 'tween the hedges.
• Cord wears a tattered poncho into the game for no apparent reason and chooses to sit no where near me.
• KenYucky hangs tight with Bammer for a full 8 minutes.
• Oklahoma exposes Miami as an even greater fraud at the #17 spot. Slip Sliding Away...
• AwwBarn shows those HillBillys that although Coach Chizik cut his teeth on Big 12 foes...he at least has lost all his baby teeth....unlike their coach.
• At my wife's first tailgate of the season I treat her to a better than average cornhole whuppin'.
• Nama shows enough restraint to limit himself to one Bloody Mary.
• The hand sanitizer in the port-o-lets is gone well before my first visit.
• And one week after coming within four inches of upsetting LSwho, Mullen's mutts fall flat on their face when Coach Gailey brings his bugs to Stark'dville. (I know...I just feel sorry for that guy and the way he's been disrespected.)

Studio Analysis

Dawgs send Tigers home with their tail 'tween their legs -

Dawgs 35

fightin' Lesters 20

Sure I don't need to remind you Reader that last year's matchup in Baton Rouge was enough to give even the most insane Tiger fans reason to shoot fingers at CBS television cameras. Since that game, LSU has played pretty well. Hell, they even played defense for a full 60 minutes against the North Avenue Trade School when they met in the GA Dome on New Year's Eve.

Unfortunately, part of their success comes from the decision to start a QB other than Jarrett Lee under center T-Bob. Lee completed more passes to Dawg jerseys last October than I have in my whole career. GahRANtee!

Russell Shepherd is the signal caller most cajuns wanna see. He's a freshman who also happened to be the Tiger's leading rusher last week in the Stark Patch. Ouch! But it's Jordan Jefferson who's getting the snaps. And all he did last week was pass for 233 yards and a couple of TDs.

But it's the cajun bengal running game that has most Dawg fans chewing cuticles. Charles Scott gashed us good last season, but has passed up a shot at NFL millions to become a shadow of himself his senior season in Baton Rouge. How the Missy State Dogs held him to 6 carries and 15 yards befuddles me.

The Mad Hatter says he's committed to running the football, but the results haven't been there. I like our defensive front against an offensive line that has struggled....immensely...against lesser opponents (Mental note - to all fans attending, follow the lead of the student section tomorrow. Especially when the Tigers have the football. They are loud and energized. Let's help our defense dominate the #4 team in the nation like they did the PacTenPuppy last week.)

And it's always a good bet to gamble on Gamble.

Offensively, we should be fine. King and Samuel will again split carries, hopefully one really catches fire while also treating the football like it was their momma's best flower vase. But it'll be a freshman I believe who'll tilt the contest in our favor. I gave ya a hint in this week's Locker Notes.

Yup!....Orson Charles is gonna have a big game. Let em try. Let em fail. And I hope you have an even bigger weekend Reader. Be loud and be proud!

Bernie

Sauced and Lost...in Texas

Just before SEC Media Days back in July, things were kinda busy. So I employed some more help to cover all the bases as it were. The ad on craigslist only ran a day before I had my guy - Willard. He's a poster boy for a NattyIce ad and is only wanted in 11 states for various misdemeanors and failures to appear.

Yeh...he was the only warm body to apply. However, Willard provided these nuggets from some SEC celebrities...then his trip to Hoover took a turn for the worse after his epic interview with KiffyBaby.

Since late July, a judge has intervened and Willard is officially a free man. Darren the Intern outfitted the boy genius with all the needed electronic gear to conduct a successful interview with LSUs own Coach Miles, then helped load the camper up with NattyIce and pork n' beans.

Willard was on his way to Baton Rouge!

But as is usual with employees whose IQs rival their shoe sizes, there was a slip up. Evidently, the camper's auto-pilot didn't engage and when Willard fell asleep on I-10 West somewhere near the AL/LA border...well, my endearing dumbass is drunk and in southeast Texas.

So we're audibling at the line of scrimmage and gonna try a conference call. If the Hat actually picks up the phone it'll be a miracle.

Once again I'm reminded that you get what you pay for. Come to think of it, Willard's a lot like Natural Ice itself - despite the poor taste, just enough of him always equals a good time.

Just hope he makes it back by Saturday. But given his luck with motorized vehicles and the Eisenhower Interstate System, I'm not real hopeful.

Locker Notes - LSwhoooo??

Who dat say? It's Wednesday and it's really beginning to smell like corn dogs. So let's get to these locker notes and help the team get ready for the nation's #4 ranked team in the nation.

• AJ Green - please try to actually show up this week...Ha! Just making sure you're awake. I really like the fact that despite all the attention you're getting in opposing secondaries, you still make em all bark like Dawgs!! Do you think you might see press coverage this week after ASUs failed attempts?
• Blair Walsh - I said a bad word in J'ville last year when you missed that FG. It was nothing directed at you personally...I'm not like that. But I'm still sorry for saying it. Because the mere utterance suggests that I doubted you. And that would obviously have been wrong.
• Rantavious Wooten - I warned my reader. The calls of Woot!! Saturday night were especially enjoyable. GATA!!
• Coach Searels - you have to be frustrated. But we all have faith that you'll dial up the right combination.
• Baccari Rambo - you'll certainly see more field work this weekend. I have trouble recalling the actual term they have for it...but if you can find it within yourself to catch an LSU pass, subsequently changing the direction of play....well, that would be outstanding.
• Darryl Gamble - I remember. I'm sure you do too. (And be careful of that weird looking guy behind you with the devilish grin. Looks like he's had some undercooked chicken...)
• Shaun Chapas - If you hear Boykin yell he's got it, bring your eyes back to the horizon and find a block.
• Orson Charles - There's no way they can hang with you. Let em try. Let em fail.

As always Reader, feel free to add your own. I hope to be back soon with an update from Willard. But he's sauced...and lost, somewhere in Texas.

Who's Complimenting Who?

Richard Samuel has played in 4 games and is averaging 4.5 yards per carry. Caleb King has played in 2 games and is averaging 5.2 yards per carry. Samuel is the physical back that slams it 'tween the tackles and has the breakaway speed that we've only had the privilege of seeing once. King has some juke to his jive and is showing no ill effects of the bad groin that slowed him in late August/early September.

LSU brings a #4 ranking to town Saturday afternoon, but these two backs should be licking their chops. John Chavis' defense has been woefully bad at stopping the run this season. Hell, those other SEC dogs in Stark'dville gained over 150 yards against them. In fact, the Tigers have yet to hold a team to under 100 yards rushing...that includes Louisiana-Lafayette.

But if the Dawgs want to continue that trend, these two featured backs are gonna need some help. Samuel and King compliment each other well, but the stats don't pile up unless there's blocking up front. And that was noticeably absent Saturday night.

Losing Sturdivant in the first game of the season hurt, again. But this O-line is deep and talented. There's no excuse for there not being gaping holes for Samuel and King to utilize. And there's no damn excuse for procedure penalties, back to back...that back us up to our own goal line.

This is largely the same defense that we gashed last season, the main difference being a new DC. But this isn't the first time Chavis has gone up against Bobo. As usual the blocking up front will determine our success. If the O-line can compliment the running game and produce some holes for these tailbacks to run through, it could be a good night for two Dawgs to tote the rock...early and often.

Related Posts

• Dean Legge pages Caleb King ($)
• Rex calls BS (link corrected from earlier, sorry)
• Richt Wants Better Play Upfront, Tim Tucker
• Veteran Line Not Happy With Performance, Hale

Monday's Meatloaf - Wringing It Out

Saturday night the win matched the environment, ugly. Real ugly. I would ask you Reader to explain to me exactly how we're winning ball games by turning it over 3 times a game...but chances are you are at as great a loss as I am.

Meanwhile, there's nothing more you can say about Adriel Jeremiah Green that hasn't been said. And repeated. The Dawg receiver and hero extraordinaire should garner some serious Heisman hype. Like immediately. Of course, lowly fans like us don't make those decisions.

AJs QB (I thought) didn't look very good. In fact I was thinking he had regressed until I read Stuff's take on the game yesterday. Cox is what he is: a good QB that needs a strong running game as a compliment. He's gonna have games where things are slowed down and the decisions are easy to make.

Saturday was not one of those games. In fact, the two interceptions weren't even his worse throws. But he has the country's best receiver and a corps of other receivers that are really doing their part. If Samuel or King would catch fire and the offensive line would force the issue, I can still see Cox as a potential All SEC by season's end.

Today's Ingredients

• Normally I would agree with the decision to go for it on 4th and 2 with 10 to play. But our line was getting abused by an ASU d-line I vastly underrated.
• Searels O-line continues to amaze, in a not so good way. Back to back false starts...are ya kiddin' me? The play's on 1...2...or 3. I'm sure it can't be simplified any further.
• But the bonehead awards for the night are clearly due for the refs. I thought they'd made their worst call when they robbed AJ of his 2nd TD in the 4th. Then they completely ignored the face mask on King at the end that would've made the winning FG a chip shot.
• Martinez substituted a lot. But I didn't understand pulling Rambo out on the series after his INT. Regardless, the redshirt freshman may have indeed unseated the senior Evans as the starter.
• Branden Smith played a lot. Obviously the kid is earning the coaches' trust.
• The Great and never late Hale gives us CMRs teleconference notes from last night. And I like that the ABH added a true freshman to its Players of the Game.
• Some other analysis from the blogosphere: Rex adds his unique perspective as always, Kim weighs in on another close win, Quinton has a look behind and ahead, and Senator Blutarsky bases his pontifications off of another Fifth Quarter Show comment.
• Kudos to the students Saturday night who braved the elements in a first come first served kinda way. Munson especially would be proud.
• Super pleased to announce that BDB has landed an interview with the Hat hisself. The judge has dismissed the case against our own Willard just in time for him to cross state lines once again. So he has loaded up his camper and is somewhere in south Alabama as I type. Stay tuned. I'm sure he's sauced.
• Have to give a shout-out to David. He braved the crappy weather last November with me only to see a second half melt down to Tech. If we'd have lost Saturday, I'd of never given him a ticket again. : )
• Lastly, big shout-out to the local law enforcement Saturday night. Since my seat was drenched, I spent sometime on the concourse before kickoff like everyone else and their brother. All the ponchos and rain gear sure makes securing the stadium extra difficult. I appreciate their diligence and took a moment to tell them so. Hope you did as well.

Brought back memories. In 1998, Ole Miss came to town for a night game. It was cold and it rained throughout. What was worse, my cohorts deserted me. Even my lovely lady.

But it always amazes me that even when the weather map is as colorful as a Christmas tree and you're soaked to the core...a night in Athens watching the Dawgs is an unbelievable experience. Now, I realize it could never rain in Tempe like it did here Saturday night. But if it did, that House of Heat would be empty.

And I don't know where you stand on the progress of this team at this point in the season. And I'm sure you're like me and get pretty frustrated...like any good SEC fan worth his (or her...) weight in cold beer. But take a moment to be thankful that you support a team whose fanbase has blood that runs so deep that they would brave the elements just to bark like hell.

We won that game back in '98, 24-17. I remember running down River Road back to my truck after it was over, cranking it up and just sitting there with the heat blasting full force...waiting for the feeling to come back to my toes.

And smiling...wide. Now go have yourself a Monday Reader. Let's try and stay dry this week.

Bernie

**All photos courtesy of Athens Banner-Herald**

(Soggy) Sunday Thoughts

I'm still digesting the play on the field and I'm really tired. So I'll have some more thoughts on the actual game (a 20-17 squeaker just as I said it would be) in tomorrow's meatloaf. But here's some initial impressions and some commentary on what was the rain-soaked event.

• It was just a weird day in Athens, period.
• Due to a fundraiser yesterday morning, didn't pull into town until about 2:00. I guess the late kick coupled with the impending weather made most tailgaters tardy for the party.
• Got to meet Exhile. Talk about a Damn Good Dawg! The guy was in town for his third game of the season. And he lives in Illinois. I think I've finally met someone who loves Athens even more than I do....well, maybe.
• I was deserted by all of my posse. Right down to my own wife. So I spent a lot of time walking around. Got to get some VIP treatment at the Coke tent and saw the Dawg Walk for the first time this season.
• Then the rains hit. Holy crap! Sanford was one big bowl of rainwater. Hords of fans just congregating...waiting to be able to get to their seats safely.
• Rain lasted in earnest through the first quarter. Then we were all just cold and very wet.
• The Redcoats didn't even do their regular halftime show; they just played the music from the stands. I'll put my favorite Redcoat on the spot: Alan...is there a precedent for this? I can't think of another time this has been done. And I've been to plenty of rain soaked games.
• I'm not bashing the decision. Afterall, this may be the only game in history where Sanford has absorbed (or tried to) roughly 20 inches of rain in a week and a half. But it was weird. Just weird.
• On the other hand the baton twirler (majorette..??) rocked the house. I can't find a YouTube for it yet. But you can bet your soggy bottom it'll be a hit soon. If you weren't there, she lit the ends of three batons until they were well ablaze (it wasn't raining at this point) and put on quite a show. And it was nice that she moved her act around the stadium.
• About the only person who had a better night than her was AJ himself.
• And isn't it about time the hype for AJ for Heisman began in earnest? Seriously, if 2 years ago the kid has a brain fart and chooses the chickens over the Dawgs...we lose that game easily. About the only thing he could do at this point that would surprise me is to play the tuba at halftime.
• Even when the referees completely rob him of a second TD, he doesn't get discouraged. Just goes out does another couple of heroics.
• As much man coverage as they put on our offense, really surprised AJ didn't have an even bigger day. The soggy conditions and what was clearly a step backwards for Cox hurt the offensive production. We should've been able to attack ASU more through the air.
• But what hurt the offense most, was the lack of a playmaker in the running game. Bobo clearly didn't want to get to razzledazzle with the play-calling given the conditions. And ASU does have a very good d-line. But we've got to make some holes for the ball carrier. And that ball carrier has to make a play. Preferably one that ends with him handing the ball to the referree..you know, instead of to a defender.
• Wooten the ball catcher. Awesome.
• And it's a good thing ASU doesn't have receivers who can catch in the rain.
• Justin Houston is obviously a force to be reckoned with.
• The defense will take some more criticism. But once again they win the game for us.
• Probably my biggest gripe with the defense was that most of ASUs ground yardage came from the same damn play. Poor tackling. Bad adjustments.
• But until the offense learns to protect the effin' ball, Martinez should feel no heat. We can be critical as I was here. But the truth lies in the way in which we value possessing the football. Minus a couple of bad throws and a horrendous fumble, ASU doesn't get into the endzone last night.
• Tackle, protect, possess a firm grasp. Key ingredients to a W.
• Otherwise, we can expect to have more nights like the past three. Just with more Ls.

See ya tomorrow. I'm off to church, then hopefully a nap.