Sauced and Lost...in Texas

Just before SEC Media Days back in July, things were kinda busy. So I employed some more help to cover all the bases as it were. The ad on craigslist only ran a day before I had my guy - Willard. He's a poster boy for a NattyIce ad and is only wanted in 11 states for various misdemeanors and failures to appear.

Yeh...he was the only warm body to apply. However, Willard provided these nuggets from some SEC celebrities...then his trip to Hoover took a turn for the worse after his epic interview with KiffyBaby.

Since late July, a judge has intervened and Willard is officially a free man. Darren the Intern outfitted the boy genius with all the needed electronic gear to conduct a successful interview with LSUs own Coach Miles, then helped load the camper up with NattyIce and pork n' beans.

Willard was on his way to Baton Rouge!

But as is usual with employees whose IQs rival their shoe sizes, there was a slip up. Evidently, the camper's auto-pilot didn't engage and when Willard fell asleep on I-10 West somewhere near the AL/LA border...well, my endearing dumbass is drunk and in southeast Texas.

So we're audibling at the line of scrimmage and gonna try a conference call. If the Hat actually picks up the phone it'll be a miracle.

Once again I'm reminded that you get what you pay for. Come to think of it, Willard's a lot like Natural Ice itself - despite the poor taste, just enough of him always equals a good time.

Just hope he makes it back by Saturday. But given his luck with motorized vehicles and the Eisenhower Interstate System, I'm not real hopeful.