Humpday Hilarity - Marriage is Bliss, chapter 47

h/t Mac

Kentucky will start a freshman running back

Looks like the Wildcats are turning to Stanley "Boom" Williams at running back.

The new Kentucky Wildcats depth chart is out with a huge matchup vs. the Georgia Bulldogs coming in Week 11.

True freshman running back Stanley “Boom” Williams is the No. 1 RB on the newest depth chart. True freshman Garrett Johnson is also now one of the four No. 1 receivers.

Stanley has earned his nickname back in Lexington. (VIA)

Now, I don't how true this depth chart remains throughout the week preparations. When I first saw this yesterday I figured that JoJo Kemp kid we'd heard so much about after their game with South Carolina was injured. Kemp had a field day in the fourth quarter against the Gamecocks, albeit mostly from the Wildcat formation. But I can't find any injury news on Kemp, who despite still leading the team in rushing has seen his carries dwindle to next to nothing the last few games.

Perhaps they're sending a message to the older running backs on the roster. More likely, this kid Williams has earned this chance. He's a four star talent out of George Walton Academy over in Monroe that Kentucky offensive coordinator never really considered redshirting.

A four-star recruit according to the 247Sports Composite, Stanley "Boom" Williams quickly silenced any talk of a possible redshirt season during his first preseason camp at Kentucky, though offensive coordinator Neal Brown declined to call him "Boom" until he earned the name on the field. In his second collegiate game, Williams scored on a 53-yard touchdown run. He briefly gave Kentucky the lead in overtime vs. Florida with a highlight-reel 25-yard touchdown catch-and-run in which he cut back across the entire width of the field. After the game, Brown finally acknowledged Williams had earned his "Boom" nickname.

So at least as of this morning, sounds like we might see a motivated young running back going up against a defense eager to prove the Florida game was a fluke.

Moving on along

Let me first say that I hope some of my comments yesterday weren't interpreted too loosely. In times like these I like to see the team have a circle the wagons mentality and the fanbase lobbing thoughtful questions at those in charge.

Instead, the last two days have been a tornado of chainsaws drowned out only by the incessant screaming. From water coolers to message boreds to social media to call in shows. It was enough to make me rethink my away game planning.

Had gas in the tank. Why didn’t I just keep driving towards lexvegas? Some of y’all tweeples are misery wrapped in hunnerd forty characters.
— Bernie (@BernieDawg) November 3, 2014

I checked the calendar this morning and it's Tuesday November 4th. Sounds like a good day to take a deep breath, go vote, and then look at this Kentucky team that we happen to play Saturday. Word has it Coach Richt even held practice yesterday to get ready for this game. And then Ramik dropped some truth and accountability on the team as a whole.

Georgia players ready to turn the page on Florida loss. ILB Ramik Wilson: "We weren't ready to play. We underestimated our opponent."
— Marc Weiszer (@marcweiszer) November 4, 2014

So speaking of voting today, Wilson has my vote as this season's Shawn Williams Motivational Speaker. Moving on along, let's follow the team's lead and focus on what we can control - our mindset in closing out this schedule.

Coach Richt, I beg to differ here Partner.

From last night's teleconference Emerson gives us this quote:

“We didn’t have an effort issue, so that’s good,” Richt said. “So if you’ve got guys quitting, then you’ve got a problem, you can’t name anyone a captain.”

Richt's right in that I too saw guys putting in effort in the game. But there are distinct levels of effort, are there not? For instance, I can half-ass a report and turn it in saying that at least I gave it some effort. And I believe he's making a point about the locker room and that the team didn't and hasn't given up. But whether or not there was an effort issue Saturday is a matter for some debate.

Because the problem is Florida came prepared to handle, manage, control Georgia's best effort Saturday in Jacksonville. Richt's team did not come in with that mindset and were beat out of the stadium. So I would most definitely call that an effort issue.

Regrouping is painful, hard work

The questions are in abundance. The answers nowhere to be found. But as we venture down this path licking our wounds there are a few things to keep in mind.

First, I hate agreeing with Bill Shanks, but he lays it all out here with history and venom on his side. Just remember that he's pointing to a larger issue and using broad strokes. Calling for a coaching change at this point in the season is a lot like yelling at your steering wheel during a traffic jam. I'm not saying the questions aren't necessary and timely. Now happens to be a great time to ask questions. And to his credit, Shanks does get around to something a lot of people beating their chest don't in that he suggests action over standing in place stamping one's feet; he suggests writing letters and making calls to those in charge.

It's also a good time to remember that the players should never be the target of your frustration. Vent in the direction of your friends, family and especially those that are getting paid good money to find the answers. But never the players. They are busy preparing for the next game because while Saturday's debacle might seem to be the end of the world, it's not the end of the season yet. Maybe for you there's no hope left, but the team doesn't have the "luxury" of just packing up and going home.

Speaking of which, Richt has a good track record for making lemonade in these spots. That won't make many of you feel any better about getting outclassed Saturday in Jacksonville, but don't abandon 2014 too hastily. There's much left to play for this month. And while that starts on Saturday in Lexington for regular fans like you and me, it started yesterday for the players and the coaches.

In good times as well as those that are more painful and hard, Go Dawgs!

Sunday Thoughts on being sober

Short and bitter:

- Out played and out coached in all phases. Pure and simple.

- The two losses this season not only come against two of the weaker teams in the conference, but also come after the two bye weeks.

- Unlike in Columbia though, we were completely flat after the week off this time.

- I wasn't aware it was even legal to rush for so many yards in one game.

- Credit Roper for having a simple and straight forward game plan for his young quarterback to where he wouldn't have to pass much. But I bet Muschamp and his staff were surprised at how little they had to throw the ball.

For all the talk of how bad florida is this season it turns out their players missed that message.

Two keys to SMACK A DAMN GATOR!!

It's GEORGIA-florida. It's Jacksonville. It's cocktails. It's GOOD vs evil.

It's time to hunker down and get that fourth consecutive win down here y'all!

1. Hit Treon early. Hard. As much as people are saying the gators will rally around Muschamp, the players will be eager to rally around their new quarterback. If he makes plays early their confidence will grow, steadily. Get his jersey dirty and watch the uncertainty set in. I have confidence that Pruitt will have his guys ready to dictate the terms when they have the ball.
2. Protect the football. This should probably be #1 because the first rule against a team that is unsure of itself and has no identity is that you never give them free opportunities. We can win this game without getting an interception or a fumble in the + column. But if we get into the - column then we're only hurting our chances.

GATA y'all!

Friday Misery - You win this game. You win it.

This is gotta be short and sour. Because time is of the essence. I am overdue for the greatest event of the year - The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. That being said, once the hate for flerda starts flowing I am at its will until it is done. Let's see what happens.

Five star, sub 4.4 forty hate
For 363 and one quarter days a year I'm old, oddly disproportionate, out of shape, slow to grasp simple tasks, easy to forget many others, mostly sedentary, unathletic, lacking unimpaired mobility, awkwardly coordinated...you know, whatever the opposite of agile is. And I rely a lot on fake juice to get me through the day.

Also, I'm not fast. Did I mention that already?

The other forty-eight hours of the year I'm a world beater. I am quick to action and get there with authority, purpose, and ill-will oozing out my fingertips. I have the strength of ten men and my muscles are always ready to break bones as easily as spirits. My mind sifts through the unessentials with great ease, eager to focus on the most important task at hand. And when needed, I can change directions at full gait, as if my body were on rails destined for complete and utter destruction.

Those two days a year started this morning at 12:01am. For two days I can hate scripted helmets with ease and effortlessness, yet with the ruthlessness and the intensity of a runaway train. I can look down on the tallest, most egregiously degenerate Gator fan as if they were the smallest, most insignificant puddle of piss on the sidewalk of Gainesville Fla. I can go from 0-60 in the blink of an eye, ready to show those goddamn cretins what a party is supposed to look like and just how down my hunker can get. And just when they get that slack-jawed, dumbass look on their ugly stupid face, I'll look deeply into their vacant, beady little eyes and say:

My name is Bernie. I am here to repel your evil and your stupid fucking ignorance with just

my presence and this cup of bourbon in my hand. I know more about football and this series than all of the 3rd grade multiplication facts you couldn't wrap your brain around twenty years ago. And because my mom is not also my aunt and I wasn't born in a dilapidated single wide on the wrong side of the swamp, I can dress myself like a normal, red-blooded, GOTdamn American. Get outta my face with your haphazardly cut off jeans and your tired ass tebow jersey with the skoal stains and the eight year stench. Crawl back into your hole in the ground and wait for basketball season when you can look down at your toes and try and remember how many points a basket is worth. Yes, take your cardboard box of shitty beer and go ask the other village idiot to remind you how to open each can. Then drink away the rest of the day so when you tell your friends you were here you won't piss your jorts again at the memory of me telling you what your whole life's existence is screaming at you - Timmy's not walking back through that door dipshit. So you might as well make it another date with your right hand and call it an early night.

Go Dawgs!

/ends rant, refills, smiles

Here. Now.

You don't win this game just to get to Atlanta. God knows we've lost enough times in Jacksonville and still managed to back our way in downtown. And you don't win this game just to give yourself an excuse to celebrate and eat the rest of the leftover Halloween candy that you told all the neighbors' children you most definitely didn't have left in the house. "See, the bowl's empty. No more candy Sorry little Frozen girl and cute zombie kid."

No, you win this game because you're Georgia. You win this game because it's what is right with God and somewhere it is even written into the Constitution of the United States of America. You win this game because Nat Hudson once threw a block so that Larry could break his metal steel chair with about a five inch cushion. You win this game because Hutson Mason tells you to. You win this game because no matter what they ever do or amount to in life, they still dress like third grade, low rent poverty with drool on their chins. 

You beat Missouri because they are just in the way. You beat Arkansas because they wanted you to do it. But you win this game because it's history. It's in the very fabric of our being, our existence as Georgia Bulldogs. You win this game because it's what Lindsay ran so far for that day and why Herschel toted the rock 47 times in one afternoon in order to put them back in their place. You win this game because Mark Richt says you need to.

Here now! You win this game because while they were planning to slither over the state for the afternoon we were packing cars and trucks and RVs and boats. While they were sleeping in, we were setting up the tailgate with one hand and trying not to spill the Bloody Mary with the other. You win this game so that when they clap their hands like a fool you can just point to the scoreboard and thereby end other successful cycle of two days...forty-eight full hours in which all you did was hate the University of Florida.

You win this game. You win it.

Now, enough talk. Let's do. But first, bow your heads.....Dear Lord we only ask that you help us contain our enthusiasm the first time Brendan Douglas and Nick Chubb trucks a damn gator. For deep down we will know we want more of that. All day long. Amen.

Gator Hate Check - 2 days

I've hit the road and will pretty much be well outside of wifi as well as efficient cognitive capabilities until Sunday evening. Have the keys to the victory in the queue for Saturday and the Misery for tomorrow. Other than those (and maybe a pic or two while tailgating), posting will be light.

And I hope you truly don't give a shit about that. I hope that you don't give a shit about it because I hope you are too busy a) traveling down your own self to make time for something stupid I put up here for you to look at with your eyes and maybe read, b) too busy hating gators, or c) spending time with your family.

Like this shitbrick.

In case you don't recognize it, that's a pre-Sad Papa John's pizza smile. Sure, it's a little bit forced. That's because he's uncomfortable being around people that use phrases like "No Urbie. Our son's name is Nate, not Tim." Or "Why don't you log off that internet porn site dad so that we can have this Thanksgiving meal together?" Or, "Honey, I'm sick of hanging around these godless and ignorant people. Find a new job so we can finally move out of Florida." 

Urban Meyer, /n./ - the only coach to ever win two championships and still manage to leave a program in ruin. (Also, see shitbrick.)

Gurley and an awkward, imperfect moral compass

In order to close this chapter...

No one is innocent. Everyone is guilty.

I've said before that in the long run, Todd Gurley is least affected by this. In the long run he'll be well compensated for his talents, as he should be. For now, he did something he knew was wrong and is being punished.

For everyone else the message is clear - if you play by the rules you're only hurting yourself.

UGAA thought they had a case for immediate reinstatement after two games. Then the NCAA asked for more information. We know UGA sent them what was requested over the weekend. Evidently, whatever that was changed the whole picture.

We learned this with AJ Green back in 2010. That fiasco started as a false report by an entertainment website that Green had been in on those summer trips down to Miami. Before the NCAA was even involved AJ had posted to social media a time stamped picture of him four wheeling on a farm. But the NCAA dug deeper and found the $1000.

Four games.

Back to Gurley, he was one of many college athletes being pursued by these scumbags. He's one of many that have received money for signing their own name. But he's the one that owned up to his mistake...and plays under a program that plays by the book.

When I'm on I-85 and I'm surrounded by cars going ten to fifteen miles over the speed limit, it becomes easier to press the gas pedal a little harder. But when I'm the one that gets pulled over, well, I only have myself to blame.

Tackled on Wednesday instead of Saturday.

That was a little uncomfortable comparing myself (albeit in an awkward way) to Todd Gurley. But I hope you see my point. I don't blame Todd Gurley for doing what he did. I probably would've done the same thing if I were him. And I know I also would've owned up to it just as he did. He's no more a victim in this than I am the next time I'm pulled over for going 75 in a 65 zone. But he's not necessarily in the wrong either. At least the way I see it.

Now, what's next may get a little (more) awkward. The two parties in this that are wrong are the NCAA and UGA. First, the NCAA knows this rule is antiquated and flat out bullshit. They had a chance to slap a good guy on the wrist while also patting him on the back for owning up to the mistake. Instead they punished him further and made an example of him. Todd Gurley is their trophy they now have on display in Indy. The placard reads "Todd Gurley used his own likeness against our wishes and he is being punished for this foul deed!"

Next, UGA handled this in a way that makes me proud as an alum. They stood up for Gurley and did their best to get him back on the field where he belongs. And they did that within the framework of the "governing" institution's laws and protocol. They held their head high once the investigation was complete and were confident in the process and the outcome. And I truly believe they had reason to feel that way.

But if we've learned anything, the NCAA can't be trusted to do what's right. So the next time this happens I wouldn't blame Butts-Mehre for going in a different direction. After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.