the Friday Misery isn't scared of blue cats

/checks calendar

Full moons. Jason Vorhees' hockey mask. Walmart parking lots. Presidential elections. Snakes. Sharks. Women driving in the left lane on the interstate with one hand on the mascara brush and the other holding their triple non-soy half-caff mocha latte. Black cats. Hell, most cats! They freak me out man!

Those are some things to be afraid of. A blue cat trying to shoot a three point shot with a football from their own 25 yard line.

Nope.

the Bourbon Trail's Tales

The Keeneland crew!

So yes, we've taken to venturing up yonder in the spring. Keeneland is an amazing venue, where memories to be made are ripe for the picking. Taking pictures with our ladies all dolled up. Chris trying to herd us like a group of 8 year olds a full year off their hyperactivity meds. Kelley nerding out over the race bulletin. Heath and I getting absorbed into a bachelorette party for pictures against the rail. Tommy Guns nearly leaving a winning ticket worth hundreds behind!

Just lying there. Next to a puddle mixture of bourbon, melted ice, champagne, and a hint of Tommy's homemade cologne. 

There was also the first time I went up for a Georgia/Kentucky tilt. Celebrating the win with Tony's crew, we were about to run out of bourbon. So Wayne and I walked stumbled up to the local CVS's liquor aisle to replenish. 

Yes you read that correctly.

Shorter versions: early morning conversations in the snakes at Buffalo Trace, waxing your own bottle in Loretto (not a euphemism), Bluegrass Tavern, bundled up for a noon kickoff and sitting next to the Redcoats!

from business decisions, to game time ones

The writing was on the wall for both Brock Vandergriff and Jamon Dumas-Johnson: the 3rd string QB wasn't going to have significant playing time, and the former starting middle backer was seeing it significantly diminish right before his very eyes. So they packed up and caravanned up to the Blue Grass State.

CJ Allen on a previous kitty hunt

It was the right decision. Probably still is for both. JDJ is off to a good start. Vandergriff struggled mightily against the Gamechickens, but that Kentucky O-line is terrible. Like swiss cheese that has aged poorly. I mean, they were so bad you could see their mommas leaving the game early. They were so bad I hear Stoops made them attend classes this week. They were so bad, their professors sent them back! Oof.

That's bad. But there was a moment earlier in the week when I thought, why shouldn't Stoops start (checks notes) Gavin Wimsatt at quarterbacker. Our coaches and most of our players don't need tape on their former player and teammate. 

Things Bernie types that make you go "Hmmm...". But for our side we know what's what. Beck and his boys bring their pimp walk to Kroger Field, while CJ Allen uses his helmet communicator thingy ma-jig to direct blitzes and the what-nots.

We held these guys to under 200 yards last season, with just 50 something rushing. I for one believe there's a chance to do something even worse to these kitties tomorrow night.

Another game time decision...24 point spread? Wow. That's a LOT!

"Thank you sir may I have another?!"

Screw it! Lay the points! I don't know if Vandergriff starts but he sure as shit ain't finishing! Go Dawgs!

An Old-Fashioned Don Draper

Remember when Kentucky was sexy, they were trendy. They beat the florida fightin' gators in the swamp after a 300 year drought and suddenly the "Wild"cats are hot shit on a tin roof. They had "super talented Will Levis Dungarees slingin' the rock. LOLOL!! They were who Tennessee is now - the team people want to pick in the summer so they might look like they know something come falling leaves season.

Turns out, these so called "experts" think 12 personnel is code for sneaking an extra player onto the field. Their dad was a knuckle-dragger and their very own are starting to need some bactine and band-aids. They're chasing the spotlight when they are meant for the dim lighting in mom's basement.

Because the truth is, these Wildcats are staler than that half pack of Marlboro Reds that has been lodged in between seat rows of Kroger Double Fuel Points! Stadium section 222 since the late '90s. After A&M slammed the door on him, Stoops whined in the off season about Wildcat fans stepping up with some NIL money, but for his tackle football players this time. Then he rewarded said fans by losing the SEC opener, at home, to Shane Beamer's travelling cluckers.

Wildcat football donors are so pissed they're diggin up old VHS tapes of Tim Couch and Coach Mumme's days to get them through to basketball season. 

Now, please remove your snap back caps and bow your heads...Dear Almighty Lord, please generously provide our backs room to roam free and Beck the time to spread the wealth. And not just the NIL kind. In the name of Rex Robinson's whatchamacallit, Amen!