the Friday Misery exposes the Irish torso

The short of it is this - Y'all, they ain't ready.

Of course I'm referring to Notre Dame, its fans, its town, its campus, and most of all its tackle football team.

Santa! Hey Santa!! SANTA!! Hey!

Their coach is on the hot seat, and someone just adjusted the flame so that's it's just a bit hotter. He's the kind of coach that addresses his team's failures by firing assistants and coordinators. Yes, Brian Kelly is trash.

Their history is as storied as it is ancient and irrelevant. At least to the game tomorrow night. Parseghian, Rockne, Leahy...they ain't walking through that tunnel. The Four Horsemen will have zero yards rushing and Joe Montana will attempt as many passes as my dog.

The Notre Dame of today can't even stand in its own History's shadow. They're nothing and they're on a map to becoming even less. They beat Miami last year, but lost to Duke at home. They managed just a field goal against NC State and blamed Mother Nature.

That's what storied programs do when they fail, they shift blame and try to distract you by pointing to all the Heismans in the trophy cases. The truth is that the "fighting Irish" have been just a squad of vegan yoga posers since before George O'Leary faxed that resume.

Georgia, on the other hand, is here and now. Kirby has zero F's to give.

While Kelly is drafting a gameplan for another losing side of the press conference where he points to turnovers, or special teams, or the fact that their water boy just switched from boxers to briefs, Coach Smart knows this is the kind of game that is won in the trenches.

Yes, their offensive line is large in size and stature. But they are even less of a match for Trent Thompson than they are for our defense's speed.

Quick, close your eyes and imagine Roquan Smith running around a big tree. One of those big south Georgia oaks. Now put a clock on him and see how long it takes him to get past that statuesque yet stationary massive growth. Two seconds? Less?

That's Smith and anyone else on Coach Tucker's three deep tracking the ball tomorrow night. Size is cool, but speed is sexy. And any and every Dawg fan will tell you that Saturday nights are made for sexy.

Other side of the ball is no different really. Both teams want to run. People have been telling me all week how many yards their running backs had against Temple. Okay, the same Owls that replaced half their defense from last season?

"But Bernie, Josh Jones is 6'2" and 225!"
"So? Jalen Hurd was 6-3 and 227 last season. Lemme give ya two more numbers...four and two. Put them together and that's how many yards he had in Athens."

I don't trust overly tall running backs. Too much of their torso is exposed. I bet Natrez Patrick is licking his chops.

As shown here, Hurd's torso coughing it up.

And please don't even start with me about this quarterback that set career highs as a freshman against UMass and then spent last season carrying a clipboard. Fromm stepped onto campus and was immediately the #2. If he'd've committed to Coach Kelly instead, well Wimbush would be carrying that clipboard again tomorrow night.

So gimme plenty of  Michel and Chubb, even with our offensive line that hasn't quite gelled into a consistent unit. Those Dawgs up front have their own big bodies, and I've met enough offensive linemen to know that they love nothing more than to "road grade" run block.

Let Fromm take the snap, hand it to Michel, and then let the big boys make pancakes. Huddle up, flex Michel out into the slot, then do the same thing with Chubb.

Rinse. Repeat.

Yes, there will be punts and it will be a field position game at the start. But just pace yourself and don't lose hope. Because I just know in my heart that those part-time ACC bodies can't handle 60 minutes of SEC football. If their admins and powers-that-be can't fully commit to a conference, no way their players can commit to taking a hit snap after snap.

These Irish want a "fight", well we've got fly, welter, middle, and plenty of heavy weights. But we ain't lacing up no gloves Coach Kelly. So tell your boys to strap those pretty yellow helmets on tight.

Now, please bow your heads...Dear Lord, please tell me who this Rudy guy is? I can't find him on any college football statistical website or reference book. Just a picture of the dude from Lord of the Rings. Supposed to be some tie between him, Georgia Tech and Notre Dame, so maybe he was O'Leary's agent, but I'm at a loss as to why I should even care. And please shove Irma back out to sea,. Shove her so far that South Bend IN is the only locale in the USA needing FEMA on Sunday.

Amen, and Go Dawgs!

Open letter to you Road Dawgs

Dear Road Dawgs,

I trust this finds you well and with tickets in hand. I'm jealous that you are packing a suitcase, complete with Khakis and red polos and maybe a light jacket or two to survive those chilly summer nights in South Bend, while I sludge my way through the work week with one eye towards a Saturday night party.

While you're boarding your flight or gassing up the motor vehicle, I'll be checking to see how many pounds of brisket it'll take to feed the horde.

And while you're setting up the tailgate Saturday morning I'll be mowing the yard and doing my best to rid the porch/patio/deck of mosquitoes.

Following the Dawgs on the road is what dreams are made of; this little ol' blog was born against the backdrop of a trek to Tempe. Since then it's been through half the SEC landscape, Boulder, Atlanta a few times, and even a few bowls.

Unfortunately, this trip has forced me to sit the bench.

But that doesn't mean I have to be quiet. My prediction is that 25,000 or so Georgia fans will make it into Notre Dame Stadium, which will leave only ten or so thousand of you to meander around the streets. Regardless of how big the Sea of Red is inside the stadium, that's a lot of Georgia fans that might be new to this travel thing. So...

First impressions should be painted red. There will be extensive visual footage around South Bend all the way through the end of the game. So, the more red the better. Half of their own fans are expecting to lose this game. So their alumni, faculty, and students walking out Saturday morning to more red than they've scene since Old Lady Stark and son Robb attended his wedding will only accentuate their inferiority complex.

Courteous, but with a tone of smart ass. Momma always said to be polite. But we've also seen her subtly finding ways to point out how tacky so and so's dress is just before the processional on Sunday morning. In short, you'll hear snarks about the barking and how you're from the South, but rising above that fray goes much further in proving the point that we are Georgia and they're just merely a half-assed part-timing ACC team.

Win the tailgate. Every college football fan thinks they know how to tailgate until a bunch of LSU Tigers, or Old Miss (whatevers), or Roll Tiders, and especially Georgia Bulldogs invade their town. Watch this video of our first tailgate in Columbia MO and pick out the spots where we are intrigued by their traditions, but with an air of "That's so cute and bless your hearts". What happens on the field we have little control of, but whether we win or lose the opposing fans should wake up Sunday morning think, "Wow, those guys and gals know how to eat and drink!"

Speaking of which, drink the town dry. It's tradition for local restaurant and bar owners to have to scramble for even more kegs and liquor by Friday evening when the Road Dawgs have just started to quench their thirst. If you're staying in Chicago that might seem like a tall order, but I have faith in you.

That's enough. Most of you know what you're doing anyway and don't need me to prattle on. The rest of you will be with someone who does.

So, safe travels y'all and Go Dawgs!

Sunday thoughts on my God all those freshmen!

I mean, at one point Fromm tried to throw the ball away and Swift caught the damn ball with one hand.

Jeebus.

If you are a freshman and attended the game last night, chances are you saw the field with your mouthpiece in place.

Of course, the biggest question for the season was where Jake Fromm actually and truly was on the QB depth chart. Unfortunately that was answered quickly as Eason left the game with a knee injury in the first quarter. Fortunately, the true freshman did better at footballing as an 18 year old than I did at attending Poly Sci back in 1989.

Seriously, that kid has a set of stones and delivered exactly what we wanted - a decisive victory. Good bye Nichols State, hello App State hillbillies. Kudos to Kirby and his staff, because that's exactly what you want to see from a game where you're paying the opponent seven figures to travel.

Beat. Them. Down.

But truly, the night belonged to the defense. And Tucker's squad had plenty of its own kids making plays. LeCounte and transfer JR Reed came up big. And clearly Trent Thompson is still a bad mutha. Dom Sanders and Roquan Smith did all they could to earn the shut out.

Just a great opener to be honest. I don't know how you could be disappointed. And let me be clear, if you're bitching today about a third string QB throwing picks when he hadn't had anymore reps under center than I had in August, you need professional help.

Now we wait to see how long Eason is out. I would expect he won't be ready for the golden domers next Saturday. So we march on...trusting the youth on the bench.

Go Dawgs!