the Friday Misery exposes the Irish torso

The short of it is this - Y'all, they ain't ready.

Of course I'm referring to Notre Dame, its fans, its town, its campus, and most of all its tackle football team.

Santa! Hey Santa!! SANTA!! Hey!

Their coach is on the hot seat, and someone just adjusted the flame so that's it's just a bit hotter. He's the kind of coach that addresses his team's failures by firing assistants and coordinators. Yes, Brian Kelly is trash.

Their history is as storied as it is ancient and irrelevant. At least to the game tomorrow night. Parseghian, Rockne, Leahy...they ain't walking through that tunnel. The Four Horsemen will have zero yards rushing and Joe Montana will attempt as many passes as my dog.

The Notre Dame of today can't even stand in its own History's shadow. They're nothing and they're on a map to becoming even less. They beat Miami last year, but lost to Duke at home. They managed just a field goal against NC State and blamed Mother Nature.

That's what storied programs do when they fail, they shift blame and try to distract you by pointing to all the Heismans in the trophy cases. The truth is that the "fighting Irish" have been just a squad of vegan yoga posers since before George O'Leary faxed that resume.

Georgia, on the other hand, is here and now. Kirby has zero F's to give.

While Kelly is drafting a gameplan for another losing side of the press conference where he points to turnovers, or special teams, or the fact that their water boy just switched from boxers to briefs, Coach Smart knows this is the kind of game that is won in the trenches.

Yes, their offensive line is large in size and stature. But they are even less of a match for Trent Thompson than they are for our defense's speed.

Quick, close your eyes and imagine Roquan Smith running around a big tree. One of those big south Georgia oaks. Now put a clock on him and see how long it takes him to get past that statuesque yet stationary massive growth. Two seconds? Less?

That's Smith and anyone else on Coach Tucker's three deep tracking the ball tomorrow night. Size is cool, but speed is sexy. And any and every Dawg fan will tell you that Saturday nights are made for sexy.

Other side of the ball is no different really. Both teams want to run. People have been telling me all week how many yards their running backs had against Temple. Okay, the same Owls that replaced half their defense from last season?

"But Bernie, Josh Jones is 6'2" and 225!"
"So? Jalen Hurd was 6-3 and 227 last season. Lemme give ya two more numbers...four and two. Put them together and that's how many yards he had in Athens."

I don't trust overly tall running backs. Too much of their torso is exposed. I bet Natrez Patrick is licking his chops.

As shown here, Hurd's torso coughing it up.

And please don't even start with me about this quarterback that set career highs as a freshman against UMass and then spent last season carrying a clipboard. Fromm stepped onto campus and was immediately the #2. If he'd've committed to Coach Kelly instead, well Wimbush would be carrying that clipboard again tomorrow night.

So gimme plenty of  Michel and Chubb, even with our offensive line that hasn't quite gelled into a consistent unit. Those Dawgs up front have their own big bodies, and I've met enough offensive linemen to know that they love nothing more than to "road grade" run block.

Let Fromm take the snap, hand it to Michel, and then let the big boys make pancakes. Huddle up, flex Michel out into the slot, then do the same thing with Chubb.

Rinse. Repeat.

Yes, there will be punts and it will be a field position game at the start. But just pace yourself and don't lose hope. Because I just know in my heart that those part-time ACC bodies can't handle 60 minutes of SEC football. If their admins and powers-that-be can't fully commit to a conference, no way their players can commit to taking a hit snap after snap.

These Irish want a "fight", well we've got fly, welter, middle, and plenty of heavy weights. But we ain't lacing up no gloves Coach Kelly. So tell your boys to strap those pretty yellow helmets on tight.

Now, please bow your heads...Dear Lord, please tell me who this Rudy guy is? I can't find him on any college football statistical website or reference book. Just a picture of the dude from Lord of the Rings. Supposed to be some tie between him, Georgia Tech and Notre Dame, so maybe he was O'Leary's agent, but I'm at a loss as to why I should even care. And please shove Irma back out to sea,. Shove her so far that South Bend IN is the only locale in the USA needing FEMA on Sunday.

Amen, and Go Dawgs!