Friday, September 6, 2013

Friday Misery - pink panties pulled down

Beer can chicken and bourbon > Arby's and Banquet beer. Let's get after it, shall we?

Angst and loathing in Athens
A lot of talk this week about crowd noise, both from those who reside inside the arena as well as outside of it. And it all leads me to wonder, why is this a new topic of discussion? It's been an issue for years. I guess what I'm asking is this - don't forget that as much as our team can be affected or unaffected by the noise on the road, the same is true at home. Don't let one loss in an extremely hostile environment against one of the best teams in the nation be the straw that breaks your back.

"I could hang a half a hundred at a funeral."
Don't get mad. Get even.

So let me get this straight. I've been harping on the noise level at Sanford for some time now*. Metaphorically I've described being just outside the hedges as more like being at a funeral service than attending a sporting event. I've bitched about us making excuses and failing to live up to competitors environments all while getting pats on the back and some "atta boys!", but also criticized and told I'm way off base.

But...when Aaron Murray's mom says Sanford needs to be louder everyone is all on the bandwagon. When Coach Richt says the fans need to get louder its constructive criticism that is welcomed with open ears. Why do you think they're saying such things? Because they've been to places that are greater, better and louder than Sanford Stadium. Let that stick in your craw a spell.

But hey, whatever gets your My Little Pony panties out of a wad and into your seat on time ready to yell...I'm cool with it. If you need the actual person who gave birth to the star quarterback and a certified head football coach to plead with you to not treat your seat as a perk and more as a birthright to hunker, sobeit.

In short, I don't give a damn what pulls the wool out from over your eyes as long as I can't hear myself think the first time Connor Shaw tries to convert a third down.

Noah, Darwin and Dawgs - the descent of man
The bottom line is this, we're all tired of being so welcoming. We're tired of lazily reacting to things and ending up out of place and the odd man out. It's like we recognize the SEC is built on natural selection, but we're still herding other animals onto the ship ahead of us. I think from the coaches on down to the fans, we've grown too accustomed with preparing for what the other guy is gonna do and being ready to react to it.

F. That.
On fall saturdays, manners are for the dodo bird.

I'm talking about punching them first, dictating the play and not having your plate fixed for you. You're hungry, I'm hungry. God knows Toby Johnson's hungry. Let's friggin' eat, you know? Save the manners for Sunday dinner and let's belly up to the table, load 'er down with all the trimmings and stick a fork in it.

Momma always used to say to mind our P's and Q's when we're around company. But Momma ain't been fryin' enough chicken lately, if ya know what I mean. Tomorrow's about getting what we want and leaving the crumbs for the hens to peck. It's less about being courteous and welcoming and more about the ball not being heavy and state trooper fist bumps. Tomorrow we're going to be proactive and not reactive. Don't wait on that one guy three rows down in your section to lead the cheer. Beat his ass to the punch and MAKE SOME GOTDAMN SANFORD STADIUM NOISE!! Make it a competition to see who can yell first and who can yell loudest. If you're second, you're last. If you're seated, you're gonna drown in all the GLORY GLORY THAT WILL RAIN DOWN UPON YOU!

Word is there's going to be quite an opening when the team comes out. The crowd (the one that is not still tailgating or filing into the stadium) should be nice and lively for the opening kick. But we haven't been waiting since November 24th, 2012 to sit in our seat again just to watch a five second kickoff. We need "nice and lively" for 3.5 "voracious, unadulterated, unbridled, passionate" hours. Longer if need be. I have a hunch that the big wigs that work the jumbotron and the PA system are finally going to do whatever they can to keep the fans engaged. If so, there's no reason to sit back and wait for what's going to happen so you can react to it. No reason to prepare for being naturally selected as the weaker animal when there's no more room on the ark.

Stand your ass up and be a part of it. You have all next week to rest...and shop for some real underwear. On the men's aisle. GO DAWGS!!

*And yes, I understand that in order for the crowd to be truly fired up the team must provide the spark. But don't use the team's struggles, however small or large in nature, be an excuse for being a lazy fan. Again, not a perk. A privilege.