Monday's Margarita - Wastin' Away at the Edge of Seventeen

That's right...time for a vacay. And the meatloaf won't keep in the car all the way to the coast.

And this time we're taking the SEC commish. I mean, who could use a little R&R more that Mr. Slive? Blogging in the off season is not for the feint of heart. But running the SEC machine takes an astute mind, a phat checkbook and a large bottle of Alleve.

It's become quite apparent that for the HillBillys new head coach, reading and deciphering the NCAA rule book is as arduous a task as singing along with Stevie Nicks to a Fleetwood Mac song...word for word. Even if you have a set of lyrics in front of you....What was that she said? Just like a one winged glove....Huh?

H/T The Sporting Blog/LSU Freek

Sorry Laney...YA CAN'T DO THAT!!

Seriously, he either actually thought he could entertain recruits in his office while ESPNs cameras rolled or he thinks for each secondary violation he gets another year on his contract. And I bet a box of mason jars he blames the whole thing on Wendi Nix.

And all you overall'd toothless warriors - the our coach is gettin' us all kinds of attention routine is as old as the swimming schollies Bear Bryant used to give to 280 lb linemen. Cheatin' is cheatin'.

Sings a song sounds like she's swimming...what?

Simple recipe: mix then chill.

• Senator's update on the status of the Kiffin watch.
• After they both batted over .300 and launched 44 balls beyond the playing field, Diamond Dawgs Poythress and Massanari were named to the All Ping! baseball team.
• PWD found Rep. Corrine Brown after a grammar class, but still up to her old hi jinx.
• Are CMR and I growing apart? First the difference of opinion on the WLOCP and now he wants more cupcakes.
• T. Boone Pickens is a BIG money OSU homer, but he likes the Sooners better. Must've gotten hit in the head by one of his windmills...
• And Mike Gundy might be a man, but he's currently working pro bono.
• Speaking of being a man...if you're a Man vs. Wild fan, you undoubtedly tuned in last week to see Bear nearly meet his match in Will Ferrell. Entertainment Weekly has a top five moments from the show, including a clip. Unfortunately they left out the yellow snow synopsis.

Lastly, for all you Roger Federer is the best ever! people...gimme a break. That Spanish turd who tried to put the beret on Roger's gorgeous locks (Jenn's words) would've received a patented Sampras forehand long before that Rennie Curran wannabe security guard tackled him. R-Fed...he cowered and waited for an incompetent french security crew (talk about an oxymoron) to succumb the scum.

Game. Set. Match! Enjoy your new GrandSlamwich Roger. You lucked out, but to your credit...you took advantage of the situation when the stars aligned for you. Oui'Oui'!!

Stay tuned for the next episode of Man vs. Wild when Bear Grylls hosts John McEnroe, Stevie Nicks and KiffyBaby while surviving the recruiting environs of Pahokee, FL. Ms. Nicks translates the NCAA rule book for all while Mac calls the mayor blind...in so many words.

You'll know you've got the right channel when your hear Ol' Kifster say, "Reading is for losers and gas station attendants. I win! Let's all go to my daddy's house on ol' RockyFlop!!"

That and Bear eats the inner workings of the high school's fax machine. Awesome!

Salt or no salt Reader...have a great week!

Bernie