Some things just go hand in hand to make the world a better place. Ice cream and chocolate syrup. Baba O'Riley and Gameday. A Sunday in May and spending some time with mommas. Hope everyone had a great day with theirs.
Part of the joy in going home for me is the aromas that emanate from Mom's kitchen. So it takes a truly special day for me to agree to travel there when I know her macaroni and cheese isn't going to come out of the oven. Luckily Dad had about a 30lb beef tenderloin to entice everyone yesterday. It was good. Woulda been better smothered under a coupla spoonfuls of Mom's macaroni...but we have to make sacrifices at least one day a year.
But even sacrificing for one's own mom has its limits. Around the dinner table scraps I endured all the talk about mistakes I had made growing up. I may have married well above my station in life, but it was a rocky road getting there. And when the talk turned to the time I embarrassed my mother in the JCPenney in GA Square Mall about 30 years ago...I sat there and smiled.
But there's always one incident that draws a quick line with me. An incident as shrouded in mystery as that pesky triangle in Bermuda. An event in time known in my family simply as the lamp. And even on Mother's Day I refuse to weaken my position. A position known simply as the truth.
Frown at me for pointing out that it was my brother who broke the light fixture. Turn the heat up on me by having my own kids pepper me with questions about my involvement. And you can try and confuse me with implications of a second friend on a grassy knoll. Hell...you can even take away my next two servings of Mom's macaroni and cheese....
Of course regardless of what scientists say, in the end younger siblings tend to win out. At least that's the view from my elderly perch. I can provide the grandkids and make the visits, but all the brother has to do is call every Mother's Day from some tropical foreign land called Hawaii and suddenly our family history has been revised more thoroughly than the wrinkles in Joan Rivers' face.
But that's never a reason not to love those mommas. Afterall, where would we be if Herschel's mom had given up on her awkward, stuttering son? I recall a portion of Walker's book Breaking Free when he recounts a story of looking for his shoes late one Sunday morning. Herschel's mom is desperately helping him find them before church...then finally says It don't matter if you don't have your shoes. Jesus don't care what you look like.
That's both love and perspective only a mom can provide. They are eternally the Krazy Glue that keeps us all together. So I hope you made some consolations for yours this past weekend Reader. They can always keep that family lamp lit...but don't let them rewrite the history behind it.
Here's your napkin Reader. Please take care of your own dishes afterwards though. I'm tired.
Bernie
But even sacrificing for one's own mom has its limits. Around the dinner table scraps I endured all the talk about mistakes I had made growing up. I may have married well above my station in life, but it was a rocky road getting there. And when the talk turned to the time I embarrassed my mother in the JCPenney in GA Square Mall about 30 years ago...I sat there and smiled.
Afterall, it was news to me that no one else had made similar missteps...
But there's always one incident that draws a quick line with me. An incident as shrouded in mystery as that pesky triangle in Bermuda. An event in time known in my family simply as the lamp. And even on Mother's Day I refuse to weaken my position. A position known simply as the truth.
Frown at me for pointing out that it was my brother who broke the light fixture. Turn the heat up on me by having my own kids pepper me with questions about my involvement. And you can try and confuse me with implications of a second friend on a grassy knoll. Hell...you can even take away my next two servings of Mom's macaroni and cheese....
I didn't break that lamp.
Today's Ingredients
- Take your vote Reader. Did Bernie break that lamp while his parents were slugging back margaritas with the neighbors? Or did he simply leave his fingerprints at the scene by helping to glue it back together?
- It's nice to see the kids get off the bus on Friday with all those cute homemade Mother's Day gifts. Got me to thinking that school's always out once Father's day rolls around. That means a pair of socks, maybe a tie...and a couple of big hugs. And you know...I wouldn't have it any other way.
- Congrats to all you grads out there. It's a big ugly world. My advice - stay in school! Who you trying to impress?
- PWD isn't afraid to crunch some very big and slow numbers up in Big Ten country. To him they simply don't add up.
- I agree with Hale (and everyone else who lives and breathes in this red and black blogosphere) that the Senator's idea for the Lexicon is a tremendous one. But by the time I get a moment to sit down and think of one that no one has suggested yet...someone else has already logged back in and offered it up. I guess that means I can expect a recruiting visit from the Ohio Valley any moment.
- And it wasn't just a weekend of alphabetical order over at Get the Picture, the Senator also added this nice piece on the fine line we're facing in Coach Grantham's first year.
- Scott has a very offensive preview to the 2010 football season.
- 2010 Dawg signee Demetre Baker cleaned up in track and field over the weekend.
- And Dawgs Opinion points out that Christian LeMay took home some nice honors from Blacksburg Saturday.
- Hold on a sec...(rewind....play...) The Diamond Dawgs lost. Ugh. Another weekend at the wrong end of a broom. Somebody put this season out of our misery. And if you prefer even more misery for your company, King has a not so optimistic (and therefore completely realistic) preview of Tuesday's game against GA State.
- On the other hand the Lady Dawgs really know how to use the diamond, and Texas needed some mercy to get off of it.
- A Sea of Blue tries a yin/yang approach in dissecting one John Crapalari as the innerwebs heat up with talk of a possible move to the NBA.
- If a Beaver wrecks a golf cart in the Pac-Ten...does it make a sound? (UPDATE: if you follow that previous link, you may also want to read this one about the drunk OSU lineman back in '05 caught with a gay ram...you just can't make this stuff up. Suddenly scooters emerging from alleys seem even more tame).
- Lastly, scientists have proven what us older siblings have been saying for years - you kids today have it so easy.
Of course regardless of what scientists say, in the end younger siblings tend to win out. At least that's the view from my elderly perch. I can provide the grandkids and make the visits, but all the brother has to do is call every Mother's Day from some tropical foreign land called Hawaii and suddenly our family history has been revised more thoroughly than the wrinkles in Joan Rivers' face.
But that's never a reason not to love those mommas. Afterall, where would we be if Herschel's mom had given up on her awkward, stuttering son? I recall a portion of Walker's book Breaking Free when he recounts a story of looking for his shoes late one Sunday morning. Herschel's mom is desperately helping him find them before church...then finally says It don't matter if you don't have your shoes. Jesus don't care what you look like.
That's both love and perspective only a mom can provide. They are eternally the Krazy Glue that keeps us all together. So I hope you made some consolations for yours this past weekend Reader. They can always keep that family lamp lit...but don't let them rewrite the history behind it.
Here's your napkin Reader. Please take care of your own dishes afterwards though. I'm tired.
Bernie
4 comments:
If you say you didn't break the lamp, that is good enough for me. Maybe they will be able to exonerate you with DNA technology.
Oh and you left out two other possible candidates (Jeff's older brother and your friend who was there) - incomplete choices!
Sorry Mom. That's an oversight I'll correct as soon as I get a Round Tuit. Until then, I'll await Ollllddude's DNA testing results. That may be even more scientific than my poll.
My first comment isn't posted! Is it because you get to edit/refuse comments?
What I said first was that it just makes a much better story if "Perfect Little Chris" broke the lamp especially to your daughters and your niece! And also as your brother pointed out when he called from his tropical isle Sunday - "If I had broken it, it would have been glued back completely straight and not all crooked!" (I think there were a few other words in there that I edited.) Your Mama
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