Friday Misery - "targeting" "deep water"

If this post were just a couple pop-up pictures...

But since true misery is best conveyed through words...

Rare Road Reds vs Fake juice

The thrill of leaving the car flags at full mast while parked on streets in non-706 area codes. The smell of cooked meat in enemy territory. The sound of the Redcoats against a backdrop filled with less glorious colors. The vision of the cheerleaders waving that enormous Power G flag in the other team’s endzone.

The white jerseys on the backs of the Dawgs as they sprint out onto the field.

Not this week. With CBSSports, SEC Network, and even more referees with pockets full of Targeting gift cards coming into town, the Vanderbilt Commodores have alternate home uniforms hung in their lockers.

They’re cute aren't they? Even though they're whitish. Maybe a light gray. Probably both whitish and grayish.

Goddamit! Why in the holy hell am I typing about colors? Just the thought puts me back on a MARTA train with Nama and a cooler full of bourbon, ready to play an orange and blue team not named florida in Halloween costumes that Nike designed.

Yes, Clem is right. BIGTEAMlittleme. I need to let it go. But not before making a phone call to get some clarification.

/opens Nashville area phone book

/hums some tunes over Ryman’s digits

/doesn’t find a number for greater Nashville Port Authority

/or Navy base

/figures there’s someone smart at the end of a Vanderbilt line

/dials…...

Anchored down in deep words

“Hello, Vanderbilt University intramural sports, geological engineering, Greek literature, athletic chancelloric office, and Museum of Railroading. How may I assist you this morning?”

“Yes. We're driving up from Athens for the game this weekend. Do I need to ask permission to tailgate?”

“I...I don’t think I follow.”

“I heard this summer that y’all don’t have to ask permission. I’m just wondering if visitors have to ask permission??”

“Sir...Tailgating…”

“Please, call me Bernie.”

“Uh, Bernie, tailgating is allowed in designated spots.”

“Great! Glad I called in advance. Now...is it imperative that we anchor down, or is a parking brake sufficient?”

“Is this the gentleman that called a couple years ago?”

“No, that was Tyler. The wife and I will be driving a car into Nashville, not a boat. Plus, we prefer not to be anchored when we hunker. If you catch my drift.”

“I’m afraid that I do not and I have someone on the other line, so…”

“Oh, that’s my wife. She has lots of opinions on this Deep Water idea. Can you go into greater, you know, depth?”

“Let me transfer you to our PR department…”

….

“Vanderbilt University graduate admissions, plant services, divinity school, public relations, and Museum of the Absurdly Rich and also Al Gore, where our word for the day is sesquipedalianism. With what directive may I divert your telephonic communication?”

“Oh! Word games! Lemme go first...What’s the first thing you think of when I say Deep Water?!?”

“Excuse me?”

“Yes! Me too. I’m all ‘Excuse me, but what the hell does that even mean Comrade’ and then you’re all like ‘But check out these uniforms!’...Oh wait, bigger words that make you look smarter...and then you’re all like ‘However please examine our improved accouterments!”

“Sir…”

“No, please. Bernie.”

“Bernie? Are you related to Tyler?”

“If you mean are he and I analogous, yes. ‘Commit to the G Dawg!” But if you intend to question our familial relations, no. We are brothers from different mothers. Now, back to deep water. My wife would like to know it we’ll need ear plugs?”

“Uh, our band is not that loud sir, um Bernie.”

“Band? No, not the Kansas State thing. And wouldn’t the reference there be ‘Hot Water’? I’m referring to the thematic backdrop y’all’re rolling out for Uncle Verne and Company this weekend.”

“It’s just a uniform sir.”

“Just a uniform? Wow. How very unpretentious of you.”

/CLICK/

Okay, let us bow our heads. Dear Little Baby Jesus, please let the referees’ arms fall as limp as James Franklin during a Cialis commercial tomorrow. And also let the WolfPack exact some revenge for the way our great American Robbie Caldwell was treated. And we pray their quarterbacker’s insurance premium is not past due. 

Go Dawgs!

Looking for Sakerlina tickets?

Saw a brief drop in Gamecock tickets earlier this week, but looks like the ones our official broker had that were below $100 have been purchased. Have heard a lot of people looking for extras after the ones South Carolina returned were snatched up. And for those unwilling to pay the ultra premium that a UGA-Bama ticket will likely cost, the South Carolina game is one many have circled as the game to catch this season.

And I don't expect these tickets to drop again, mostly because both Georgia and South Carolina should take care of Vanderbilt and Kentucky respectively this weekend. The Wildcats may be improved this season, but how much improved is still a matter of debate. And an evening game at Willy-Brice is a tall task, as Dawg fans can attest.

So I scanned the offerings and there are some good seats at a good value for this SEC East tilt. Upper level starts at $121, and there are many lower level seats for just a few bucks more. One in section 122 for $143 and other singles that range up to $184. A pair of tickets in the lower level will cost you just under $200/each.

Normally I wouldn't find these prices newsworthy. But given that the home schedule has but a couple of games that are compelling and this may be the only affordable with a chance at Sanford under the lights, thought I'd pass the info along. The more Dawg fans at this game the better, right?

Schotty's signals are Belichick proof

Reading this long piece on the tradition of cheating within the New England Patriots organization reminded me that our new offensive coordinator has crossed paths with the head coach behind Spygate and Deflategate - Bill Belichick.

Of course, the Patriots are most known for stealing (or at least going to great lengths in attempting to steal) defensive signals. But it reminded me that one change on the sideline Saturday was seeing FOUR guys sending in signals to Lambert and Ramsey. I'm sure you saw them too because they were wearing neon yellow hats and armbands. Here's a picture from Radi Nabulsi's gallery:

I'm not sure which of them sent the actual signal in and which of them had the dummy signals, but this is right after they said to hand the ball to 27.

Anyway, I hate pro sports as much as the next guy. But read that piece on the Patriots. It's like a soap opera with all the spurned alliances and covert undermining of authority. But without the makeout scenes.

ULM rewatch - the defense

You know, I had another long recap post on the defense. I went into substitutions and the two touchdowns and was starting to delve into what it all could mean moving forward into SEC play.

But that's really unnecessary. I felt good hitting <PUBLISH> on the special teams post because just the energy into all the punting and the kicking and the coverage and the blocking is such a stark contrast from recent years. And I felt good with the offensive post because I think it's important to look at the new quarterback and the talent that surrounds him.

But the defense, well...let's just say it was Saturday, in Athens!

via

"Screw Florida and the mule they came in here on!"

Seen this gem making the rounds today as a way of remembering Coach Erk Russell. I'd be remiss if I didn't add it here.


Erk Russell Wins the Game Ball in 1980 from The UGA Vault on Vimeo.

God bless Erk! GATA! (h/t Heath)

ULM rewatch - the offense

Vanilla. Plain. Ho-hum.

That’s how many are describing the offensive (and defensive for that matter, which we’ll get to next) performance Saturday. For those who use those descriptions in a critical manner, I’m not really sure what they were expecting to see.

Afforded the opportunity to rewatch the play selection, line blocking, running backs’ decision, downfield blocking, and of course the quarterback play, I was looking mostly for fine details to mention and discuss. Every running play was virtually the same. And passing downs, what few there were, evolved as an exercise in caution.

But there was a lot that can be gleaned regardless. Let’s start with the line of scrimmage.

The offensive line didn’t come out of the gate with bad intentions. But Sale’s group dominated ULM’s front overall. The only concern I saw was when we moved Kublanow over to guard. He may have had a costly penalty for a chop block (I believe), but the line was better with him at center for sure. Pass protection was good. The couple times Lambert was rushed was more due to downfield coverage. And the lanes Chubb, Michel, and Marshall had were reminiscent of last season against Auburn and Louisville.

I’d forgotten how nice it is to have an experienced returning offensive line to start the season.

The running backs were as advertised of course. There really wasn’t much of a surprise here. The only exception might be that we were treated to what it looks like to have three healthy backs that would probably be starters for most other teams. Marshall ran with confidence and the kind of power we may have forgotten he had. His first touchdown wasn’t due to blocking as much as his sheer determination to get in the endzone. And Michel showed plenty of power between the tackles too, moving the pile forward a few times for extra yards.

The only disappointment may have been not getting Turman in the game before it was called. Oh well.

It might be easy to gloss over the receivers as they did not get much in the way of stats. But the truth is they got plenty of work. Mitchell was putting on a clinic blocking, and both he and Blazevich made great catches for scores. Godwin showed us how his speed and athleticism can lead to separation from defenders. He’s going to be fun to watch develop once he’s out of the doghouse for that non-fumble.

Ok, the quarterbacks. Again, to me it was clear why he was named the starter as he just looked more poised. But the main thing is the offense was just better with him out there. You’re probably pointing to the one drive Ramsey had, and you’re right. Not much to go on and Bauta didn’t even get in the game.

But, I saw something Lambert did that Ramsey didn’t, and that was change the play at the line of scrimmage. We were running so many times between the tackles that it was repeatedly an easy call for ULM to blitz up the middle. Lambert looked like he audibled into a better run on Chubb’s second score; Ramsey should have done the same on the sack he took. There were just too many defenders for the center and Keith Marshall to contain.

As I said Sunday, I hesitate to put too much on this one (almost complete) game. But there was enough there to go on, with Lambert’s day in particular, to frame what we might see going forward. And that’s that Lambert has taken better overall control of the offense. Just as I was pleased to see Ramsey make a great touch pass to Michel on the screen, I was even more pleased to see Lambert throw the ball where defenders had minimal (if any at all) chance of putting a hand on it.

Just as it will for the season, the running game set the tone Saturday. Eventually we’ll have a game where the passing game will need to win one for us. Nothing I saw from this “vanilla” version of Schottenheimer’s first game leads me to feel uncomfortable about where this offense is heading.

Here's hoping we get to see all three quarterbacks in Nashville.

ULM rewatch - special teams

So after each game I enjoy rewatching the televised version. From our seats it’s easy to pick out safety and cornerback play. Watching the game on television it’s easier to see how the offensive and defensive lines performed. So both give a great overall picture of what was good, bad, and ugly. And after rewatching the opener against the Warhawks I decided there was enough that I missed in my initial thoughts to break this up into a post on the offense, one on the defense, and one on the special teams. Let’s start with the latter.

I’ll refrain from continuing to gush over Collin Barber. But you have to be excited about what you saw from his punting - four punts for a 43.75 average, no returns, with two punts that were beautifully angled coffin corners. And the kickoffs! Barber kicked off a total of six times and four were touchbacks. Morgan’s season average last year for touchbacks was 31%.

Ok, I’ll stop. I promised.

Because it wasn’t just Barber of course. Two blocked punts is all you need to see to realize the renewed enthusiasm for special teams. You can hear it in Richt’s statements as well to affirm that this phase of the game is being given its due attention.

Ryne Rankin was a force on kick/punt coverage. Lorenzo Carter and D’Andre Walker were rushing the punter with a focused intensity on beating the snap to the punter’s hands. Seeing it both live and on the rewatch confirmed how much we were dead set on attacking their wide splits in punt formation. When they squibbed the kickoff, our “up men” weren’t baffled. Keith Marshall sprinted ahead of Reggie Davis to make a key block on a kick return that lead to another 6-7 yards.

A lot of that points to an increase in team speed, especially when you consider in years past we wouldn’t have dreamed of using the likes of Leonard Floyd on punt teams. And team speed is better overall this year. You could see that in all phases of the game.

Maybe some of that was the opponent, sure. But there’s more attention to detail in special teams. The sideline is paying greater attention to what’s going on during fourth down plays now and not just going through the motions. Coach Ekeler body bumped Rankin so hard after a special teams tackle that Rankin tumbled to the ground.

About the only thing we didn’t see was Isaiah McKenzie on punt return. Some have made a big deal of that, mostly because he did run some routes on offense. I would suspect this was just precautionary and we’ll see more of him juking and jiving his way through a punt return sooner rather than later.

Overall I'd have to give special teams an A for Saturday. It was an easy grade to give. And almost as much of a delight as watching it play out before my eyes.

Sunday's Thoughts on lightning striking twice...somewhere.

I remember walking toward Sanford Stadium before the ASU game a few years back, right when that super cell storm came down Baxter Hill, and hearing over the loud speaker that you shouldn't come into the stadium and should seek shelter and please exit in an orderly fashion. That was cool, because the students largely ignored the announcements and the storms largely moved out.

Yesterday was just plain annoying. You wait and wait and wait for the season to get here. You cram an awesome tailgate into the few hours you've been allowed. You get to the stadium in time to hear the trumpet. And your reward is to wait out Mother Nature's obnoxiousness.

Maybe that sounds like sour grapes, especially to those of you that stayed at home. And yes, I realize that the safety for all involved was driving those important decisions.

Good. Seriously, awesome. But damn. What a craptastic way to usher in the season.

Anyway...

- Of all the storylines you may read today, all of the ones that draw all of the angles towards a good feel good story...my favorite part of Saturday was watching Collin Barber. Because he was electric. He punted with authority. And he kicked off WITH AUTHORITY!!! But he was also showing a lot of emotion. Like many other players (who were seeing the field a LOT more than Barber was) he was fully into the game. Dancing. Jumping up and down. Just flat out pumped up!
- Barber is back. I've been critical, but I should point out that he was my favorite player yesterday. Punting and kicking may not have affected the eventual outcome of the game, but seeing him fired up and executing to such a high degree was quite the relief. Like so many of his teammates, Barber got after that ass!
- Man oh man did the Warhawks have trouble with the snap of the ball. I mean it was like the football was covered in butter and the quarterback and punters were all wearing rubber gloves.
- The defense did its job, but the second intermission really helped didn't it?
- Other than that, a very vanilla defense gave up a lot of yards (as well as some points) to a bad offense. I expect a lot less vanilla next week in Nashville.
- Wow. Leonard Floyd y'all. Damn, just damn. What a beautiful freak of nature!
- Overall, defensively, I like the way we lined up with authority. Maybe watching Louisville's defense against Auburn when I got home reminded me of those years where we'd have linebackers and defensive backs (and fans...) raise their confused hands towards the sideline. But, even though we gave up some yards, the defense appeared ready and prepared.
- Plus, Pruitt was very committed to a base defense and generating a rush naturally.
- Similar analysis for the offense actually. Very plain. Every run was between the tackles with very little challenge of the edge blocking and such. Even when UL Monroe continually blitzed up the middle.
- That's all we needed. Even though we ran Chubb much more than I anticipated, Schottenheimer kept everything close to the vest.
- I thought Lambert looked good. I hesitate to use any other word to describe him, because it was UL Monroe.
- But it was abundantly clear why he was named the starter last week. He was decisive in his progressions and made very good throws. Plus, he audibled into some plays that I can't recall Ramsey doing before (albeit in a very limited scope of work). Most notably, Chubb's second touchdown run.
- My offensive MVP though would have to be Malcolm Mitchell. How could I forget how much of a difference maker he is when he's healthy? Plus, MM put on a clinic for downfield blocking. He made two, TWO, key blocks on Ramsey's screen pass to Michel that went the distance.

Overall, it was about what we expected: a dominant performance with just enough flaws for us to analyze and pore over this next week. I'm pleased enough with Lambert and very happy with what I saw from Keith Marshall, our special teams, the offensive line, the linebackers, and the receivers.

Let's exorcize some demons next week in Nashville. Go Dawgs!

Two keys to a warhawk cupcake walk

Welcome back to college football in Athens y’all! On Saturday morning I traditionally give a couple keys to victory and on Sunday I try to follow with a recap, time permitting. Here’s what it will take to make us smile through the Labor Day weekend.

1. - Keep Chubb under ten carries. And really, ten might be too liberal an estimate. If we need 27 to win this game our problems are varied and far-reaching. Far, far reaching. Getting the other aspects of the offense involved is a real goal for Schottenheimer - the other backs need work, the receivers need live reps, and who am I forgetting...oh yeh, Lambert needs some live looks too.
2. - Defensive ears stay pinned back. ULM does not have a good offense and will start a redshirt freshman quarterback. Pruitt has gone on record this week saying his defense doesn’t need to be externally motivated. If that’s true he should be able to stay pretty much in a base defense and let his playmakers do their thing.

Score points. Rest starters. Give two deep live, gameday experience.

Seems easy enough. Let's pack the car and hit the road!

Friday Misery - another offseason's discontent comes to an end

When frenzied anxiousness mixes with sheer joy, it can be a dangerous cocktail. Similar to waiting your first sixteen years of life to be able to drive a car in which you control the radio, the windows, and the speed with which it transports is a seemingly endless task. But when the moment arrives, and the ignition is in the process of turning over, the excitement and the nervousness both make the palms a bit sweaty.

Which is why when it is finally time - you sprint! You run as fast as you’ve run in just over a year. You chug along as if you have a shot at breaking the 4.4 in the 40 and every NFL scout is watching. You dart towards The Start of Actual College Football as if being chased by Richard Tardits and Bill Stanfill’s lovechild.

It’s here. Grab it tight now in case it decides it’s going to leave you behind.

"Please have identification and completed calendars ready for check in...."

Yes, you wake up one day and there it is - the day you circled on the calendar 247 days ago. One evening you fall asleep in the same state of misery you've endured for several months and when the sun beams through the blinds again - it's here!

Yes, the wait is over.

You eagerly take your place at the end of the line, taking a moment to absorb the chill in the air and the crispness of the breeze. You lift your face up to the skies and yell at the top of your lungs “SCREW YOU AUGUST HUMIDITY AND YOUR FAT BASTARD FRIEND NO BREEZE!! THERE’S A NEW OCCLUDED FRONT IN TOWN!!!”

You’re not even sure if that makes any damn sense at all, but you can't take the smile off your face. And that’s okay. Neither can anyone else. You look at the guy that has taken the place in line behind you and say, "We made it!"

Highfives. Fistbumps. Hugs. Tears of joy.

"Thank you for your interest in the 2015 College Football Season. Current wait time for this checkpoint is no longer than...Herschel Walker minutes."

You stand on the tips of your toes, both literally and figuratively, and crane your neck to catch a glimpse. Ahead you can make out what appears to be Leonard Floyd doing warm ups. You think you can hear the Redcoats, but it's still too far away to be sure. It might just be the same recording of the fight song you've been restlessly listening to since New Years Eve.

The line moves up some and that's when you see the security guards running after some dipshit in an Auburn t-shirt. They encircle him but he dives through their grasp and sprints through the gates.

You consider the prospect momentarily before gently shaking the thought from your mind. You whisper to yourself, “Patience. We’ve made it this far. Don’t panic and everything will be okay.”

The self advice rings somewhat hollow. And yet you still abide.

"Attention: here at the Southeastern Terminal, participation is always religiously encouraged, but satisfaction is never, ever guaranteed."

Yes, but this year could be the year! Word is the whole team has bought in and has practiced hard. You've read all about the new freshmen that are expected to contribute. Plus, Coach even smiled at you at Picture Day when you asked him if this was the year.

"Could be son. Could be."

You're really close now. You take yet another moment to triple quadruple quintuple check that each day of your calendar is marked off; a testament to your patience and perseverance. Right on cue you hear a scream from the back, "DAMMIT BUTCH!! HOW COULD YOU FORGET TO MARK OFF A DAY IN APRIL??!!?? I DON'T CARE HOW EASY IT IS TO FORGET!!"

When you turn back around, the queue that remained in front of you is now completely behind you. Yes, it’s your turn!

“Good morning sir. Welcome to the next season.”

*gleeful giggles*

“I need to see your registration, identification, 2015 calendar, and hear your team's 2015 password.”

The smiling lady in the sharp blue blazer is not even finished with her opening greeting before you’ve already offered the documents to her and scream, 

"RUNTHEGOTDAMNBALLSCHOTTY!!"

And it’s then that your olfactory sense takes over. The sights and sounds were true, but the smells! Oh God in Heaven the smells!

Slowly burning leaves. Bourbon. All of the meats suspended over glowing charcoal embers. The ladies decked out in team colors who gave that extra splash of perfume. And of course, simply Autumn itself. Sweet, blessed Autumn. How you’ve missed the nape of her neck.

It’s all there. Both a wave of memories and a wave of hopes and aspirations collide in your brain. The result is euphoria.

You knew it would get here. But all of the waiting breaks you down until your soul is a dark clump of doubt. You kept looking out of your window but all you could see were bare trees and empty, lifeless mascot costumes. So you do exactly what you’ve done every year since 1892 - you draw the curtains and watch old game tape on Betamax. Worley runs all over Jacksonville until you fall asleep in your armchair.

“Sir? Sir! You okay?”

“Oh, sorry. Yes. I’m great."

“Good.” She hands your documents and calendar back. “Everything’s in order. So here’s your pass. Have a great season!...NEXT!!”

The first thing you do is point directly and menacingly at Coach McElwain, but you're not sure if he can see you through his hair. Chubb shakes your hand without breaking it. Oh, and there's Malzahn tying Muschamp's shoes. You ask Derek Mason to refill your solo cup and make your way towards the tailgate.

From behind you a voice lifts up above the din of Saturday morning noise. You turn around to see Larry Munson lift his cup in your direction.

"Don't sleep on this Louisiana Monroe defense Bernie. They're gonna come in with bad intentions, mark my words."

Yessir. Go Dawgs!