Random Act of Insolence

Lemme take a stab at this:

Officer: M'am...are you okay?

Granny: Why yes officer. What seems to be the problem?

Officer: M'am, your car rolled off the embankment. We'll need a tow truck.

Granny: I just don't know how that happened. That nice young boy parked it for me.

Officer: What boy? Did he say anything else?

Granny: The one wearing the dungaree cutoffs handing out Jesus pamphlets in the parking lot. Asked me if my sons had been snipped. I told him the only boy I had was my pure-bred english bulldog, Dooley.

Officer: In which direction did he leave m'am?

Granny: Some douchebag in a FU visor wheel'd in with an orange hippie van and whisked him away. Nearly ran me over.

Officer: I'm sorry m'am. You're the third victim this week. We'll take it from here.

Granny: Effin' gayturd!

Detroit Rock City

Ok...now I don't blame the guy for leavin' us. Keg

stands are soooooo old school.

A Dawg Among Boys...and a Smattering of Men

Had I been graced with enough ounces of athletic ability to play SEC tackle football, rest assured I'd wanna be a defensive back. I'd wanna get coached up real good, put on the red and black and tell Coach Erk (hey, it's my dream...) to just tell me which half the field is mine. He can use my other 10 teammates to take care of the rest.

Me on an island, with just a receiver in the wrong jersey. Glory!

But one receiver I'd never want to face is Adriel Jeremiah Green. I wouldn't have wanted to face him as a freshman. And I certainly wouldn't want to face him in '09 with a healthy groin and another 15 pounds of muscle. Here are some of his highlights from georgiadogs.com:

Career Highs: 8 receptions at No. 24 Ariz. St. in 2008
*159 receiving yards at Arizona State in 2008
*Long reception of 54 yards vs. No. 5 Florida in 2008
*1 receiving TD (8x), last vs. No. 18 Ga. Tech in 2008
*1 rushing attempt (3x), last at Kentucky in 2008
*28 rushing yards at Kentucky in 2008
*Long rush of 28 yards at Kentucky in 2008

Now keep in mind he only caught one pass for 35 yards in the G-Day game. Slacker. : )

Yesterday I wondered how the QB red-shirts might pan out this season. You can bet that Murray and Mettenberger will both be chomping at the bit to have at least one season to throw to this Dawg.

Friday Feedbag

• Pretty good piece here by Maisel on Mike Leach...you know, the coach who played poker with Texas Tech early this off season and made them blink first.
• I picked on Carroll when he snubbed his own QB back in January, so to be fair: Trojans are honoring the scholly for a player whose college career never began.
• That being said, when in the hell will the NCAA stick that program where it hurts. In the words of a wise man in Section 327, "Trojans...all they do is CHEAT CHEAT CHEAT!!"
• For my North Avenue readers, here's Rex's calculations for the rate at which air escapes an orifice when heated.
• Thinking Bulldog has a headset and is talking into the ears of Bobo and Richt.
• T Kyle King is fitting Soulja Boy with a new jacket.
• Undoubtedly still recovering from his injuries in the car accident a couple weeks ago, Loran Smith weighs in on last week's hot topic - Visor's snub of Slurban's big boy. I have to agree with the closing line: I say let the coaches coach and somebody else do the picking and ranking. Maybe better yet, don't have pre-season rankings and lists at all. Worthless.
• Now that OSU LB Andre Sexton has done spout off, evidently the cowpoke writers are following suit. Even Doc Saturday's Chris Brown is overly impressed with the man's offense. For some responses, here's Senator, BUI, Quinton, and Exhile. 21 points...sure.
• Speaking of spoutin' off, Hawaii football coach Greg McMackin thinks Charlie Weis collects doilies and sings Air Supply while wearing pink, fuzzy slippers (h/t Mackie). Tough talk from the coach of a team that dresses in skirts and prances around before kickoff.
• Looking for a reason to scream CHILD ABUSE!! the next time you see some middle-aged mom stroll her teenage daughter into a tanning salon? News from cancer experts worldwide deliver you some ammo.

I have fond memories of the Price is Right. I remember visiting my grandmother's house during the 11:00 am hour at times and being met with the booming sound of Bob's voice. Go give that Wheel a spin...

But honestly, as exciting as it was to see the mountain climber fall to his doom while yodeling music played...that ain't nuttin' compared to the game that is sweeeeeeping the nation but ignoring the garage. Thursdays R Trivial had its fifth episode yesterday, and it's first photo finish.
But in the end, @namaman was 43 minutes later than @uga009 with the answer "Mama's Apple Pie". Safe to say both tweeters are fans of @jeffowens95 blog where they discovered what Clint Boling's favorite dessert was. But @uga009 is the tweeter walking away with: (drum roll...) six gallons of chocolate ice cream - Ben Harden three of Mom's Four Layer Dessert - Brandon Wood eight Cheesecakes -Trinton Sturdivant five and a half (sorry, got hungry) Mama's Apple Pies - Clint Boling four Strawberry Cheesecakes - Tony Wilson seven bowls of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream - Joe Cox four sheets of German Chocolate Cake - Rod Battle fifteen plates of BBQ -Marcus Washington (Evidently, Washington doesn't do dessert)...and three bags of Gummi Bears sprinkled over eight gallons of Vanilla ice cream - #95 hisownself

Wow! Hope your fork is reinforced stainless. Guess these DamnGoodDawgs have some sweet teeth. I'll try to swing a health club membership for next week's fabulous prize.

Well, Reader...we made it another week. The team's about to start practice and the Labor Day Weekend's travel plans are arranged. I think we're gonna survive this off-season. Enjoy your weekend!

Bernie

The Red-Shirt vs. Murray & Mett

The other day dean raised the question in a comment on my post about the true freshmen and possible playing time. Coach Richt plans to kick some freshmen onto the field this fall. Incoming QBs Aaron Murray and Zach Mettenberger seem to be left on the sideline as a (future) afterthought.

Or are they?

My statement at the end of the post was a plea for signal caller health. But dean's point raises some interesting possibilities. Obviously if depth becomes a question for our QBs, Murray or Mett will be needed.

However, if that disastrous scenario doesn't rear it's ugly head...what becomes of the newbies? Would you rather both red-shirt? Should one see some mop-up duty against TennTech, maybe others? If so, who do you see earning it?

Mettenberger has the rocket arm and towers over the line of scrimmage. Murray has the sterling HS resume' and can evade blitzing LBs. Since they're roommates, maybe whoever forgets to take the empty pizza boxes to the trashcan keeps the redshirt.

Whatever is decided, I'm sure CMR and Bobo only use who is ready. So I say....Keep studying boys!

We're in Good Hands

We're looking at the WRs for 2009. I really think the game up in Lexington last November encapsulates a lot. We all remember seeing Stafford roll out to his right and throw a well placed pass to a leaping AJ Green. However, it may be harder to recall the play of this year's leader at the position, Mike Moore.

The Mike Moore bio tells us that on that day in the Bluegrass State he had a (then) career high 68 yards receiving. Forty-six of those yards came on a 10 yard crossing pattern that Moore decided had more in it. If you need the refresher as well, check out DawgTrader's YouTube rehash HERE. The play is about 3:30 in. Staff then hit Chapas on the all familiar P-44 Haynes for the TD and a 21-14 lead.

Moore would go on to eclipse that career high in yardage again in the Capital One Bowl. Here's the highlights from Orlando:

CMR has made it clear (in so many words) that the heralded Marlon Brown will play. The same can be said for the shifty Rantavious Wooten. But Cox has made it clear that he is most impressed with Moore's leadership and expects a big season from the fellow 5th year senior.

As exciting as it was to see Brown sit in his gymnasium back in February and don a Dawg cap on national television, I'd feel a little more comfortable in September with a sure-handed receiver taking the field as a target for Cox. Moore runs crisp routes, creates space, makes the catch and fights for yards.

Good recipe if you ask me.

In a year when the offensive skill positions seem fairly lackluster as compared to last season, significant production from #82 would bode well for the Sanford Stadium scoreboard.

UPDATE: MikeInValdosta's comment helped me remember a piece the Great Hale did on Moore talking about his compadres. He doesn't mention Troupe or Kin, but he does offer a brief prognostication on what he may be able to do opposite AJ. You can click - - - HERE.

Have Campus Bus Schedule Will Play

This isn't really big news, but Coach Richt has confirmed (a little more broadly) that the freshly shaven 17-18 year olds will be suiting up for action this fall. While Weiszer points out that our new TEs had already been ink'd into the depth chart, CMR confirming that Washuan Ealey will enter into the mix is more intriguing...albeit expected.

While Jackson, Thomas, Samuel and King may have more experience, it is inconsequential. This also says that King continues to not separate himself. Most fans read that as a bad thing given the hype that went into King's recruitment. It could also be viewed as a positive note on his counterparts. I for one think we've recruited really well at that position the last few years.

Rex adds his perspective to the RB position. He's not convinced Samuel is ready for everydown-type action.

Going back to CMRs statement last night at the Greater ATL Bulldog Club, I'll be curious to see which skill position freshmen use the opportunity to step up and grab some time between the down markers and which prove their worth as special teamers.

• Gilliard and Vasser surely face a difficult task cracking into the LB rotation.
• We can probably add Abry Jones and Derrick Lott to that mix as well. With Owens, Weston and Atkins in the JKG formation (as #95 likes to put it) the interior d-line is pretty much set.
• But Charles, Lynch, Brown and Wooten we'll see...and I expect to see early.
• Bogatay and Montez Robinson are at positions where competition is needed.
• DB needs some competition as well, but Branden Smith, Jordan Love and Shawn Williams would have to make remarkable strides next month to be trusted in an SEC secondary. At least in the first half of the season.
• That said, it's still possible we'll see Smith on offense at some point.
• The offensive line will prove just as difficult to crack as the LB rotation. But I still like Burnette's chances. Strickland is already down for the season. Hopefully others do NOT follow suit. But if they do, Dallas Lee enrolled early so Searels may trust him sooner rather than later. Austin Long...depends on how much weight he can gain, quickly.

Of course, all of this is speculation at its highest. But on one position I am very clear: if we see either Murray or Mettenberger, I will not be a happy Dawg fan.

How 'bout you? Who are you most eager to see? ....or NOT see? And who am I off base on?

Monday's Meatloaf - Media Days' Hangover

Just think...in six weeks we should be fully recovered from bringing Stillwater to its knees and ready to eat some home cooked chicken.

After hearing since January about the awesomeness of our leadership, it was nice to see/hear our captains treat Media Days like a freshman level seminar class. I certainly rest assured that the team is in good hands.

I was especially glad to hear Cox give some props to Mike Moore. With some incoming freshmen stealing headlines from the wideout and tight end position, the fifth year senior out of Fort Lauderdale has been all but overlooked. Had he not had a career high game in Orlando against the Spartans he may have been forgotten.

But looking back, Moore has made some clutch catches and according to Cox has taken the receiving core under his wing. Earning the Coffee County Hustle Award at the end of spring shows he's leading by example.

Good news for Dawg fans. Better news for Cox. If you missed hearing Cox and Owens, here they are with 680TheFan's Chuck and Chernoff.

Today's Ingredients

• A pin dropped and interrupted John Swofford's opening speech in Greensboro. Once civility was restored, the ACC Kickoff2009 didn't miss a beat on its opening day.
• Back in the college ranks, there are lots of SEC Media Days wrapups. ESPNs Forde pulls the hangin chad off the week's top topic.
• MikeInValdosta adds his own twist of lime.
• Rex says hate the sin, not the sinner.
• Cousin Walter not only has Football on the Brain, he also points out that the Ol' Ball Coach has obviously had a lobotomy.
• And BDBs own Willard waxed poetic with another Dunce in the Confederacy, Laney.
• Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Well, at Get the Picture we can only hope this is just the beginning. Congrats Senator!
• Countdowns - Streit over at Bubba N Earl used the number 41 to pay tribute to Herschel yesterday while Legend found a Tony Gilbert gem for number 42 Saturday.
• Speaking of #34 DawgSports remembers when he got jobbed, by George!
• And Jennifer Iannone of the ABH caught up with Courtney Kupets, who ran into a familiar face last week at the ESPY Awards. I wonder who can leap the highest?

With over a hundred media credentialed, I suspect things are gonna get crazy in Greensboro. Stay tuned this week when Ralph Friedgen wrestles Frank Beamer for the last biscuit on the breakfast buffet.

Back in the heart of Dixie, we'll wait a few days for practices to begin. So on Saturday morning as you awake to what may seem to be just another weekend...take a moment to step outside, and listen. If the sound of whistles greets your ears, smile. If the din of well run drills almost makes you cover them, smile a little wider.

Stick a fork in it Reader. Call it a lunch. It could make for a happier Monday.

Bernie

Nightmare Walking, Psychopath Talking

I may have proved my academic worth at Cedar Shoals....and my tolerance of 100 proof grains at UGA. But much of the valuable crap I learned came from the inner confines of the Classic Triple. The little three-screen wonder nestled a quarter block west of the Georgia Theater is now a parking lot. But during my high school and part of my college years it was where I picked up important addictions to popped kernels and well brixed Coca-Cola.

It's where I would see Kenny Rogers about five times a year, first saw Kim Basinger before she ran Braselton in near ruins...and where I once watched in wonder as both ClemPson and Georgia's football teams come to the same Friday night movie at the same time. Dooley didn't chaperone.

Probably was a good thing he didn't.

We once ran Dirty Dancing for 16 straight weeks. I heard Swayze threaten those who put Baby in a corner so often I almost quit. But we also ran Coming to America...Planes, Trains and Automobiles....not to mention the front row seat of all those drunk college students urinating on the back wall of the Georgia Theater.

But yesterday I was reminded of another film that graced the Triple's silver screen - Colors. Most of you (who are old enough) probably remember the spit flying from Danny's mouth under the glow of the helicopter spotlight just after Hodges' body went lifeless.

But one of the greatest scenes in cinematic history came earlier in the movie when a little known Damon Wayans had a romantic scene with his rabbit... (warning - the following video contains some language that, although slurred and almost incomprehensible, may offend those in cubicles nearby. Please use caution and adjust sound settings to a level that all can enjoy....ie - CRANK IT UP!!)

As they say in Twitterland...ROTFLMAO!! You can't take the T-Bone away...

Suddenly I smell the intoxicating aroma of heated peanut oil and freshly opened JuJyFruits. Have a great Sunday Reader. Come back for lunch tomorrow.